[Shipping] Twipie? That's... a rare one.
Author: Abalidoth
Description: Twilight Sparkle devises a new experiment to test Pinkie's Pinkie Sense. But when the experiment takes an unexpected turn, Twilight must try to understand her feelings for Pinkie and unravel the secrets of Pinkie Sense.Causality
Additional Tags: First-Person, Science, Pinkie Sense
95 comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhoa twipie? I'm gonna have to out of curiosity.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, my favourite shipping name!
ReplyDeleteyes, Seth, that is VERY rare.
ReplyDeletemy favorite ship name based on name alone is ApplePie.
ReplyDeleteSimply cause food.
Yes Seth, Twipie is very rare indeed
ReplyDeleteMind = Blown.
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh, blown. I mean... yeah, story. Cool.
eh... fanfiction.net.
ReplyDeletealso, I read another TwiPie.... similar to the same premise. except in that one Twilight goes into Pinkie's mind...
I loved this one.
ReplyDeleteOoo a rare ship. Time to read this one. :D
ReplyDeleteWe need more of this ship.
ReplyDelete@wackyteen
ReplyDeleteMeh I prefer "Flutterpie" simply for its suggestions of cream pie desserts and the utter cuteness of the name itself.
Nice. I love the uncommon ships. I find just seeing how everypony is shipped with everypony amusing, so the more uncommon the more new and interesting.
ReplyDeleteNow bring unto me more Pinkie Pie x Rarity.
Hmmm, I usually don't read much shipping but this one is quite interesting.
ReplyDelete@purpletrauma
ReplyDeleteworking on it X_X
Twipie? Why not Twinkie?
ReplyDeleteThat's the most amusing, yet least creative "additional tags" ever.
ReplyDeleteI mean really now, that's not even a tag, that's a full sentence >.>
It's a pretty nice story. Some background as to why Twilight likes Pinkie would have elevated it.
ReplyDeleteStill, thanks for breaking the monotony of Grimdark =D
@wackyteen
ReplyDeleteI remember that one. How is this similar?
Now I'm seeing images of Pinkie's heading spinning around like the exorcist while spouting off random lines. "Uuuuuuuuuuurrrrr, your mane is pretty."
ReplyDeleteOh Pinkie. You so silly.
Is not Twipie... It's Twinkie. So cute :D But also, the least possible I think. Still gonna read it.
ReplyDelete@Kits
ReplyDeleteI was just talking about how it features Twilight trying to figure out Pinkie Pie.
that's about it...
I would read this but I don't like fanfiction.net
@wackyteen
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to upload it to Google Docs? I can, I just didn't realize anyone was prejudiced one way or t'other.
No. I think that the least possible ship is Molestia x Big Macintosh, or Big Macintosh x Zecora. Now that, my brony friends, would be a hard ship to sail
ReplyDeleteWas a really good read for a single-chapter story. I enjoyed seeing a deeper part of Pinkie that isn't shown in most fics. Also, the theory at the end makes for an interesting discussion topic. This definitely deserves at least five stars, in my opinion.
ReplyDelete@Abalidoth
ReplyDeleteI could just copy it into wordpad. <.<
@Bombedrumbum
ReplyDeleteI think that Big Mac X Zecora has been done at least once on the site.
@wackyteen
ReplyDeleteWell, here's the link anyway. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1i0xiAIN6BHmfMbn5TOSPDqcYXD9n2f-bvdw-bF9JI9w/edit?hl=en_US
@wackyteen That was a good one, made me laugh a bit.
ReplyDeleteThe science tag needs more exclamation points.
ReplyDeleteYes. Dear God, yes.
ReplyDelete@Bombedrumbum It's been done, lemme find it...
ReplyDeletethat was adorable
ReplyDelete@Jelfes O_O
ReplyDeleteThe Cakes shunning Twilight without even giving her a chance to explain felt a little forced and out of character to me.
ReplyDeleteOutside of that little, issue, however, that was a stellar piece and a very enjoyable read. ^^
5/5 from me.
@wackyteen
ReplyDelete"Five Minutes", I believe.
@Autumn Wind
ReplyDeleteI don't think they shunned Twilight without giving her a chance; I think Twilight just didn't want to explain. So, without their (somewhat reasonable) assumptions challenged, they shunned her.
@wackyteen
My favorite is SparkleJack, but that's cuz I came up with it. And I'm the only one to use it, so far as I know.
Good story. I thought Pinkie was very well done. I've found she's simultaneously the most fun to write and the hardest. She'll get away from you if you're not careful.
Wow this was a really enjoyable story! I kind of liked how the whole bookworm + party pony dynamic sort of worked out in this one. Although the hidden mutual feelings thing was kind of convenient, I'll let it slide on account of a unique pairing.
ReplyDeleteWhat really caught my attention was the scene involving happiness in isolation, as it truly showed how dynamic the element of happiness could be. That must've been my favorite part, and I thougt it was well writ. I also like the explanation at the end involving the Elements of Harmony, an interesting theory if ever there was one.
Overall, very enjoyable. I really like this pairing - twinkie/twipie - between two of my favorite out of the mane six. A little bit of commentary on why/when Twilight figured she liked Pinkie would've been nice, but its absence is not distracting. This might become one of my favorite ships, thanks to you!
A. Somebody other than me actually using the name "TwiPie?"
ReplyDeleteB. An actual TwiPie fic on the site?
C. Yet another ship that I like that is apparently rare?
It's like a trifecta of win. *to the story*
Uncommon ships like this are always interesting to read--usually they end up being unbelievable train wrecks, but in the hands of the right author they can end up being really fascinating. This fic definitely falls in the latter category, too.
ReplyDeleteThere were some parts that I felt were a bit long winded and a couple of plot points were explained a little heavy-handedly, but as a whole the prose is strong and the pacing just right. The choice to go with first-person is a good one--I don't know if this would have turned out quite as good in a third-person narration. Keeping the focus on Twilight was a great decision.
Definitely worth a 5/5. I'd read it again.
Very fun/cute story, but I have to know: what about the rest of the message? There's still a whole "IEWILLYOUGOOUTWITHME" somewhere out there.
ReplyDeleteD'awwwww. TwiPie sure is cute.
ReplyDelete@ToonNinja
ReplyDeleteI think it was established somewhere in the story that she had fallen unconscious after the first four characters.
@ToonNinja
ReplyDeleteI think it was established somewhere in the story that she had fallen unconscious after the first four characters.
I found the whole story very enjoyable (even though I don't usually like shipping). I particularly like the unique pairing of these two characters however, I noticed a couple plot holes but nothing that puts me off.
ReplyDeleteGood job writing this! =P
Oh gosh, this was amazing <3
ReplyDeleteI think I like this ship. :3
@purpletrauma
ReplyDeleteNow, imagine if somepony had a disease.
THAT pony being shipped with EVERYPONY.
Someone call the disease people!
(Just not CEDA, we all know how THAT turned out...)
So in other words... Twipie shipping fanfic is...
ReplyDelete*puts on sunglasses*
a RARITY?
YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Besides the whole Mr. and Mrs. Cake thing...this story was amazing.
ReplyDelete@kensterfox
ReplyDeleteThey're interchangeable really. Some people prefer Twinkie, other TwiPie, much like Discordia and Dislestia.
Well, can't find it, oh well, I did read it though, it was okay.
ReplyDeleteTalking about the Zecora+Mac fic
ReplyDeleteNo! Pinkie Pie is mine! All mine! Do you hear me!?
ReplyDelete*blinks*
Um...awkward...
Anyway, funny fun story tho I do agree with a few others. The Cakes really didn't seem themselves. But then, this is a fanfic. Still, I enjoyed it. Well done my good pony.
Hmm.. This really is one of the less common shippings between the 6, yet it managed to turn out excellently. I wasn't looking for grammar so I can't say much on that.
ReplyDeleteThe story though was engaging and was never slow. 5/5.
~~FurryForlife~~ §~§
Oh jeez. Oh jeeeeeez.
ReplyDeleteThat was one of the finest fics I've read in this fandom. First-person Twilight was beautifully done, and the attention to nerdy detail was astounding. Pinkie was also written fantastically. The story taking a really emotional turn was a great twist, and it couldn't have ended in a better way for the two of them. All the musing about casuality due to various things like the Pinkie Sense and her Elements theory were also genius. I've never seen Pinkie Sense handled so well in a fic, and I doubt I'll do so again.
Top marks. I'm amazed to see a TwiPie fic that wasn't generally comedic in nature (see: "The Most Powerful Magic" and "Five Minutes"). I doubt I'll see one as good as this, though.
5/5, I hope it Star-6s.
I really enjoyed that. Exceptionally well written. An uncommon ship, to be sure, but it works quite well in this story.
ReplyDelete5/5, great story, i think it needs a [sad] at some points but overall really good!
ReplyDeleteThere's no question that it wasn't well written; you'd be hard pressed to argue against it. What I'm curious to consider is if it isn't too well written. It's so verbose that quite frankly that I think it's out of Twilight's character, and I felt as if I was reading from a pony far more sophisticated than Twilight. It got to the point where it was hard to read it because I kept thinking to myself that Twilight, however educated, is still a pretty simple pony. Eventually I was able to put this aside and enjoy the actual story.
ReplyDeletePinkie Pie was characterized very well. I don't think you could have done a better job in that aspect. The way she lightly handled their not-so-first date was just the way I would imagine she'd handle it.
The story for the most part was sound. I was a bit shocked at Mr. and Mrs. Cake's over-reaction to the situation. Besides that, the whole story kept my interest and ended on a satisfying note.
It's not that rare, remember my dirty hot pinkie vid? *grins*
ReplyDelete"This story was inspired by the short story "Murder and Suicide, Respectively" written by Ryan North from the collection Machine of Death."
ReplyDeleteAHA! I KNEW IT!
*cough*
Loved the story. Twilight and Pinkie felt spot on, and there aren't that many first-pony perspective fanfics that make it through to here (I think.) Of course Twinkie/TwiPie ranks up there as one of my favourite ships, so I might be biased.
@wackyteen
ReplyDeleteYou know what would be funny, if somepony was brave enough to ship snips and Applebloom, then we can call it Snapple.
My two favorite ponies shipped together. THANK YOU :D
ReplyDeleteI'll say it again: it's not Twipie, it's Twinkie.
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, the Cakes' reaction didn't seem necessarily out of character at all to me. I see their relationship to Pinkie as if they were adoptive parents, since there is no evidence of a filly or colt Cake. And if you do something that hurts their child, "parents" can get really upset.
ReplyDeleteHow the heck do you ship pinkie with anyone but RD anyway? It just doesn't work, period.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. Wonderful in every aspect. The characterization of Pinkie was really interesting, and Twilight was spot on. I love all the depth you gave pinkie, the absence of which is usually why she's my least favorite (but still quite liked) pony.
ReplyDeleteThis deserves 6 star.
Inspired by Murder/Suicide? What the hay?
ReplyDeleteGreat fic. Also, this story has one of the best examples of Scientist!Twilight I've seen in a story.
ReplyDelete@LaughingTachikoma:
ReplyDeleteFor that, good sir, you win 5 internets! XD
Anyhoof, Awesome fanfic! One doesn't care for one-shots that much, but this was long enough that it was almost as good! Some more reasining as to why Twi and Pie like each other would have been nice, but at least there was enough to make it somewhat believable. Just keep that in mind for future shipping fics, okay? WE WANT TO KNOW WHY! 8D
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
@Tast OK from now on ALL pinkie ships will do their best to sound like an actual food.
ReplyDeleteTwinkie - Twilight SparklexPinkie Pie
ApplePie - ApplejackxPinkie Pie
Skittles - RDxPP after that one story.
MoonPie - LunaxPP (cause I want to see it!)
The rest somepony more clever can figure out.
D'aaawww. Twinkie fic? Sooo cute. :) I'll read this when i get home from work.
ReplyDeleteYay, something to look forward too. :D
Let's see... Two of my favoritest characters... adorable image... already four stars...
ReplyDeleteI'd 5-star this automatically but let's give it a read first!
You know, I used to think that a romantic relationship between these two would be impossible, but this story changed my mind. The happiness in solitude part really sold me and showed that Pinkie and Twilight share common ground. I don't buy that Pinkie would've crushed on Twilight as soon as they met and would've just accepted that Pinkie would be open to anything, but I'll give that a pass.
ReplyDelete@Orange Peel
This. Don't get between parents and their children. It can turn nice people into lunatics. See: the parents who still claim Amanda Knox murdered their daughter despite much evidence to the contrary.
I'm pretty sure there's more Discord/Fluttershy clopfics than there are TwiPie anythings.
ReplyDeleteI could see this being horrible due to the massive personality differences between these two. Not even conflicting interests, just completely different ones.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it was very very well done. 5starwantmore
It felt a bit sketchy at the start to me with the first person perspective. But once Pinkie ran in the library she was in character I got interested, This fic works well IMO.
ReplyDelete@JVanover, Wouldn't that be called RainbowDashOsis? :P
ReplyDeleteLOVED it.
ReplyDeletedidn't like it... gunna go read Five Minutes again to get the feel of good Twipie again. (seriously, go read that shit, its in the archives, its awesome, waaaay better than this)
ReplyDeletesorry if you read this author, but the whole thing felt stiff, not rushed but still truckin' along pretty damn fast, and there was absolutely no relationship development (just, 'i love you', 'cool, I love you too' *smooch*, little to no character interaction, very little substance to the events, and twilight's first person perspective wasn't utilized well. And while this isn't labeled a comedy fic, I was still expecting some less dreary drama bits and more Pinkie Pie style crazy. NOTE: I couldn't even finish: after the hospital scene, I just said 'Fuck it' because I was so disinterested.
I'll say it again. Everyone go read 'Five Minutes'. its basically the premise of this story, only done very good and very funny.
@Risky:
ReplyDeleteSorry you didn't like it. I liked Five Minutes too, but I don't think this had the same premise at all.
This pairing still seems really, really awkward. But reading this, it almost seems possible.
ReplyDeleteGreat plot, true-to-form characters, and solid writing style. Overall, very enjoyable and lighthearted.
Well, finished reading it. I'm giving this a 4/5. The writing was well done, and I like the scientific dive it took.
ReplyDeleteMy problem with it though was that sometimes the emotional scenes felt too detached to me, like I couldn't channel the feelings they had into myself. I think some of the scenes just came on a little too fast. Though this may probably be due to the fact that it's 3 AM when I'm reading this so the fault is probably mine. :/
Gotta say though. the whole explanation process of sending the message back in time left my mind in shambles. Yet at the same time it sorta made sense. good job on that. XD
I'll read through it again when I'm less sleep deprived and maybe give an update.
Over all enjoyable read. Pinkie and Twi are an odd pair to match yet it seemed to fit pinkie's peculiarity while all winding together.
@Risky
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I'd have to disagree about 'Five Minutes 'being "waaaay" better. I think you put way too much stock in Pinkie Pie being super crazy and overlooked what the author wanted to do with her characterization - showing her multiple aspects in a unique way. Also, this story and 'Five Minutes' does share a similar basis, but I would argue that they take the "exploration of Pinkie Sense" motif and run in very different directions where one deals with subconscious exploration and the other sending messages through time. You said there was no relationship development, but I found about as much here as I did reading 'Five Minutes' - neither of the stories expound on this as much as they should(FM: Twilight is obsessed, pinkie rolls with it. C: Twilight sort of likes Pinkie, Pinkie has a crush on Twi, mutual admiration wins the day).
What I'm trying to say is both are pretty spot on representations of twinkie/twipie but they go about it in different ways. Both are to be lauded.
Also, @Abalidoth
I really enjoy your stuff, is there any way I can follow/track/watch/sub? That is, if you have plans for continuing writing.
@Bloomberg
ReplyDeleteI think the best way would be to Author Alert me on FanFiction.net. Then it'll send you an email every time I post a new fic or a new chapter of a fic. I'm writing mostly Celestia stuff for the forseeable future, so that should work well.
I think you need a fanfiction.net account for that though. If you don't have one... I dunno.
@kriss1989
ReplyDeleteIn that case, would LunaCelestia be Moonshine?
Also, I enjoyed the fic-however, I will admit to some of the dramatic scenes not really being played up-not enough focus on the emotions of the characters involved, and feeling a teensy bit rushed sort of jaunted the fic for me.
But, I do look forward to more of work-also, asking someone out by time travel is the best thing ever.
@Abalidoth Hmm, well I guess I might just have to register. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely written. Tugged at my heartstrings. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot to say: thank you all for reading! I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you all got at least a little out of it.
ReplyDelete@purpletrauma
ReplyDelete"Bring me more Pinkie Pie x Rarity."
Challenge Accepted
I really loved this story. It's a great take on an unusual ship. I loved the crack at the end about the bet between AJ and Rainbow Dash. That was hilarious. XD
ReplyDeleteGood story.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, glad I found it before it slipped into the archives.
ReplyDeleteThe premise of sending messages back in time through a ridiculously inefficient and painful process is, oddly, hilarious. I've often had the feeling that I'm screwing my future self over through a poor decision in the present, but this is the first story I've read where someone's future self acted backwards through time to screw someone else (though it all worked out in the end).
I have to say that it starts out pretty slow, and the vocabulary used, while pleasantly diverse and sophisticated, would have suited a Limited 3rd Person narrative much better than a 1st Person point of view. While Twilight is smart and it's reasonable to assume she understands the concepts and words you put in there, she generally speaks and thinks (if we go by her occasional monologues) in normal terms. Also, the mutual attraction between them doesn't have enough basis here; if you're going to introduce and use romantic feelings between 2 characters, you have to make sure they're properly grounded in the characters, either by the show's own evidence or by evidence you write yourself. You could get away, for example, with not doing much to develop romantic feelings Twilight might have for Celestia, because Twilight's intense need to please her and lifelong focus on her can translate to romance easily. But with Pinkie Pie, there's not really any evidence the show can provide to say that Twilight feels anything more than friendship for her, so you, as the writer, need to do more than just say they both like each other and then jump in from there. Twilight likes Pinkie? Pinkie likes Twilight? Since when? What do they like about each other that makes their feelings romantic and not just platonic friendship? Sell it to the reader!
ReplyDeleteAnyway. Once the story gets going, it gets steadily better. You just glide through the dinner part of the date, which is disappointingly sparsely described, but the part where Pinkie shows Twilight what she does when she's alone is very nice, and while it's simple and in some ways a typical romantic plot device, it's unexpected, and sweet. Honestly, the idea of Pinkie dancing to and with the night's insects, twirling in the wet grass amidst swirls of fireflies, is, to me, nothing short of enchanting.
The premise of sending messages via Pinkie Sense is interesting, and the romantic aspect, despite its spontaneity, is sweet. I could see the idea of sending Pinkie a come home message via Pinkie Sense coming, but was pleasantly surprised by the twist that her Pinkie Sense would kick in in the way it did to prevent Twilight's friends from having to beat the crap out of her. The conflict of the story is a little over the top, but not to the point of being silly. The characters are portrayed well overall, and I do appreciate your noting that during Feeling Pinkie Keen, Twilight Sparkle did NOT behave as a scientist should.
Overall, a good story, better than it appeared at first and working well with an odd couple (yet, like all Twilight x Mane 5/Luna/Celestia pairing possibilities, a couple with interesting potential). It's nice enough to read, and a better Shipping fic than is average. 3.5 Stars, rounded up to 4 for the sake of EQ rating system.
Oh, forgot to mention--another problem was, as has been mentioned, the Cakes. It's not as glaringly out of character as some people might think, given that they feel, by Lauren Faust's own words, very much like Pinkie's a daughter to them, but it's still an extreme reaction that is not just fairly out of place with them, but out of place with the FiM atmosphere and the atmosphere of the story itself. I think you could have come up with a better way to have them not provide Twilight with info on where Pinkie might have gone.
ReplyDeleteBut like I said, overall, good story.
Pretty good story, though the more advance vocabulary was unexpected at first...
ReplyDelete