• Story: My Faithful Student

    [Normal] Ever read Sunny Skies All Day Long? Well, this is better. Read. It.

    Author:
    PhantomFox

    Description: When the Princess gives Twilight an opportunity to compete in the
    Arcane Arts Competition, Twilight is thrilled. But when doubt creeps
    in, and preparation turns into obsession, will she push away her
    friends too far in the pursuit of success?
    My Faithful Student

    Additional Tags:
    Episodic, Obsession, Sweet, Competition, Magic

    45 comments:

    1. I've never read the first story mentioned. Should I?

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    2. The first story mentioned should be read if you like the comedy com the show and don't have too much time com your hands.

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    3. Excellent. I don't need to banish you now, Seth.

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    4. That's... a very bold endorsement. You have my attention, sir.

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    5. @wackyteen

      Sunny Skies comes about as close to pulling of a plausible episode plot as I've ever seen.

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    6. I loved Sunny Skies all day long.
      I look forward to reading this.

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    7. "Ever read Sunny Skies All Day Long? Well, this is better. Read. It." I thought that statement was kind of mean. Till I realized that this is the same author. Lol

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    8. --Ever read Sunny Skies?
      Yes.
      --So read this.
      ...okay :D

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    9. This was a good read, felt a bit too
      much like Applebuck season though.
      How nice of you to bring "Sunny" back in.

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    10. Wow, you've written two episodes now. You portray Celestia so well! The Alfalfa monster reference was a nice touch, and I like how you had continuity with your previous story. You should be a scriptwriter for MLP.

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    11. Twilight Sparkle is OP
      XD had to say it...
      Nice read though, and I always like shout-outs to previous stories, especially those as good as SSADL (quite solid too by the way). You really do have a way with keeping the cast in character, in particular Twilight's interactions with Spike felt spot-on!

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    12. This was Brilliant, im a big fan of episode like things and this was very very good, everyone was in character and it kept me interested as i read. 5/5

      On another note my Alfalfa ban never did go through.....shame really, stuffs awful.

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    13. This really is just like and episode. I dont know how you do it, but I suspect the dialouge is the biggest contributing factor. Well, best not to look a goft pony in the mouth, this is amazing, and I thank you.

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    14. Isn't my fic already using this image? Not upset, just confused. I'll give this a read. SSADL was a great story and another by the same auther must be awesome.

      Btw my fic is A Crack of Thunder. I think I need a new image anyway, maybe someone's made a more relevant one by now.

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    15. @Eonseig

      Oops, so it is. The author requested this image in his submission, so I just tossed it up without performing due diligence. My bad. >.>;;

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    16. @Phoe

      Bah, not a big deal. If he requested the image he can have it. I just gone mine at random, and he's an author I respect. Just throw another random un-used one on mine and call it a day. If it has some kinda lightning involved, bonus points.

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    17. It's like Applebuck Season if it was about Twilight

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    18. I read this and enjoyed it. It definatly had the feel of an episode.

      But, I still don't get how pinkie pie contacted the princess. Did she run there, faster than rainbow could fly? Some sort of 'pinkie pie ability'?

      Lol, her on coffee would be frightening...

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    19. That was cool. I pictured the revival of the tree as it happens in Okami.

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    20. @Block Comment

      I have heard the term OP being used to describe Twilight before, but what does OP mean?

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    21. @KainMurasaki & Dubs Rewatcher - Yeah, but I tried to mix in elements of other episodes too, namely Sonic Rainboom and Party of One, so it wouldn't be a complete plot rip-off. But the resemblance is there, yes. The key scene that it's based around is the Twilight/Celestia scene.

      @greenie-pie - Pinkie Pie can keep up with RD already (at least when it's funny, see: Party of One). HyperPinkie would then must have super speed.

      @Bladelord - I was wondering how long it would take until someone got the Okami reference. For those not in the know: http://youtu.be/P6NnCMGJl1w

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    22. I just read both stories back to back, and I loved it! I can't wait for your next one!

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    23. Is it good? Definitely. Five stars.

      Is it as good as Sunny Skies? Ehhhhhhh... no. Very few things are that good. But it's pretty close.

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    24. I loved Sunny Skies when it was posted, and this is just as good. I loved the close moment Twilight and Celestia had there, and the release of the Rainbow was amazing. DID we ever get word that that really IS the Rainbow of Light? Either way you go about it, it rocked. Five stars. ^^

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    25. Really good, I enjoyed it. I only realized once I got down to the end that I HAVE read Sunny Skies. Editing note, page 6 Rarity talking with Dash, "wresting match" I want in. :D

      Books and Supplies: 100 Bits
      Travel expenses: 25 Bits
      Blowing your nose on the wing of an Alicorn: PRICELESS

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    26. @PhantomFox

      Regardless, it was a very good read.
      A lesson on friendship that was well chosen
      as well as touching Celestia/Twilight Scene.
      I've always pictured them as mother and daughter.
      I look forward to your future works.

      -Kain

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    27. I wouldn't say it was as good as Sunny Skies All Day Long, but pretty good none the less.

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    28. "For a split second nothing happened. Then the entire tree exploded into bloom, pink blossoms appearing on every branch."

      At this moment, I went and searched for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yshgQnMTXNE

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    29. Thank you PhantomFox for another amazing fic. Thank you.

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    30. Very good, a great example of a fic that tries to maintain the feel of the show throughout. My only complaint is that Fluttershy seems conspicuously absent from the story, with only a pair of fairly inconsequential lines. I feel like she would have done something to try to help Twilight out.

      Still rating this 5 stars though.

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    31. @Pyrite - Well, I considered having her, but I was having trouble fitting her in, and I decided not to try and shoehorn her in where it wouldn't fit naturally just for completeness sake.

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    32. I really enjoyed reading both this and Sunny Skies. I actually liked this one a little more than SS myself, even if the story was slightly less original. I just felt it was tighter, better written and more true to the characters. Keep up the great work. 5 stars all the way.

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    33. I liked the Chekhov's gun that allowed the Princess to be notified.

      Took me a second to understand Celestia's arrangements for the contest. Good one.

      Twilight's final choice of spell-type was, as Howard Tailor (author of Schlock Mercenary) would say, "Surprising, yet inevitable", although he might mean something more specific by it. I suppose it is unexpected that she can just off and DO that sort of thing without special circumstances, but it works for the story, and she did say it was tricky.

      The bits for... shall we call them H and L, to reduce the spoilers? Seem to contradict eachother about the level of regularity and predictability in magic.

      "but the Rainbow had been called forth nonetheless."
      -I recommend CONSIDERING capitalizing "the" to help differentiate it from Rainbow Dash's name, but it probably isn't actually necessary.

      The target was also "surprising, yet inevitable"

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    34. It's good. But it's a very different flavor to Sunny Skies All Day Long as well. Being a huge Celestia fan, I can't really give it my undying enthusiasm like SSADL. But I didn't feel like my reading time was wasted after I finished it either.

      It's pretty much episode quality stuff. All the qualms I have with it are much the same I'd have if it were an episode so I'm not going to list them here. And it does do some more illustration of Celestia as a character, which is fun. :>

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    35. I just got around to reading this. And yeah, I instantly got the Great Divine Intervention reference. I was a little disapointed that it didn't end with a triumphant wolf howl!

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    36. I enjoyed this one. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was outright better than Sunny Skies, but it was just as good in its own way.

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    37. Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
      Did Twilight Sparkle just:
      http://youtu.be/P6NnCMGJl1w

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    38. @Ponies!!!

      I was thinking something very similar throughout the entire story. Throughout the entire read, I could not stop thinking how this should be a season finale on the show. Everypony sticks to their personalities, we learn a bit more about the princess's mysterious past (which perfectly fits in with the first Nightmare Moon incident, by the way), all the jokes are pure awesomeness, and through the whole thing, I could practically hear the voices of the characters leaping from the writings themselves.

      Also, if nothing else, they should totally have Pinkie try coffee.

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    39. Pinkie Pie + Coffee = Brilliant.

      Pinkie Pie + Coffee + Celestia's imitation of (Pinkie Pie + Coffee) = Genius!

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    40. Though I doubt the author still keeps up on comments, but...


      Yeah, I'm not sure why you like this one more than Sunny Skies. The emotional climax was when Twi had managed to get her power under control. Everything after is wrapping up. The story should have ended after Twi apologized to her friends. Everything after was irrelevant. You could've have separated it out from the rest of the story, and it would have made a decent stand-alone.

      ...It feels kind of odd saying that there should have been less awesome things happening.

      I liken it to Bioshock. Damn fine story. You play all the way up to the big twist, then... Well, the rest of the story just doesn't really carry the weight everything before did. It had hit it's climax. The story had overstayed it's welcome. Frankly, they could have taken the second half, written it up a bit, and made it be a sequel.

      Sunny Skies, however, knew where to end, or at least didn't drag it out as long (I woud've ended it at the library scene, but the bit with Luna didn't take all that much up). It didn't overstay.


      I try to avoid fanfic like the plague, and thus didn't read this when I saw it on the front page. After some convincing that this was pretty true to the show, I must say, I look forward to anything else you write. Despite all I have said, your work is wonderful. Bravo.

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    41. You'd be surprised on how long I keep tabs on my past stories.

      For one thing, that was Phoe who said it was better, not me. I just write, I leave the judging to y'all.

      I did consider ending the story where you recommended, for the reasons you mentioned, however the question of "Well, did she win or not?!" seemed like too big a dangling plot thread to not answer. She spends all this time preparing for a contest and then ends up not competing? Doesn't feel quite right. To compensate, I tried to make the ending have a big Triumph note to it, so it'd fit in as part of denouement.

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    42. @wackyteen Yes, there is a small reference to it near the end add the fact that it is freaking awesome and you are set

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    43. Hey PhantomFox - could you post your fics to fimfiction? it makes it easier to track and favorite.
      Thanks!

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