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  • Story: Spiderses

    by Sethisto
    [GODLIKE] Every once in a while, I open my mail box and am instantly hit with a sense of absolute peace.  The feeling is indescribable.  This happened just yesterday, and I immediately forwarded the submission to the pre-readers to share the newfound joy I was now blessed with. 

    Four of them came back with super powers, and the other seventeen cryogenically froze themselves, because absolutely nothing else in this world could possibly top the experience they all shared while reading what has come to be known as the ultimate masterpiece of human intelligence. 

    Pre-Reader Quotes
     "Every once in a while you get the chance to read a story that sets the bar for it's entire genre. This story will forever be the one by which all others are measured. You are witnessing greatness here ponies." -Pre Reader gifted with the ability to create life.

    "There's a certain level of writing that simply cannot be explained to the regular reader.  It cannot be comprehended.  It's quality is so far past it's time that few, if any, will be able to recognize it's greatness." -Pre Reader gifted with the ability to cure any illness, and imbue their patient with immortality. 

    "A boundary shattering tale that pushes the envelope on what fanfiction can be."-Pre Reader gifted with the ability to travel across time and space.

    "I wept pure hot tears
    Literature so awesome
    My world, now spiders"-Pre Reader Gifted with the ability to Haiku about anything

    "I came"-Pre Reader... I'd rather not mention his new powers.

     Author: Argembarger
    Description: After a spell misfires, Twilight and Big Macintosh find themselves trapped in a world like none they've ever seen before. Together, they will face adventure, hardship, loss and longing, as their shared experience brings them closer together.

    Spiderses

    Additional Tags: spell misfire motherhood irony metaphor

    NOT FANFICTION: This is an EXPERIENCE 
    Friday, August 12, 2011 op 2:00 PM
    Labels: Adventure, Author: Argembarger, Big Mac, Complete, Fanfiction, Grimdark, Not-Fanfiction, OC Ponies, Random, Shipping, Spike, Star-3, Story, Twilight Sparkle
    Open in app
    Share This! Facebook Share Twitter Share

    519 comments:

    1. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:00 PM

      I cried reading this, knowing that I would never again hold such perfection in my hooves. Indeed, I shall wonder till the end of my days if anything could ever be so much bigger and 8

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    2. Present PerfectAugust 12, 2011 at 2:00 PM

      I wish I could write like this. I don't know if I can read another fanfic again, I was absolutely floored. There is so much good writing here... The metaphors... I have no words to describe this.

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    3. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:00 PM

      third?

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    4. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:01 PM

      This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

      I want to have the Author's spider babies through spider sex.

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    5. tom10320August 12, 2011 at 2:01 PM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

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    6. CoffeeGruntAugust 12, 2011 at 2:02 PM

      Is this a joke...it's a joke, right?

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    7. NinestempestAugust 12, 2011 at 2:02 PM

      There's... nothing compares. Absolutely nothing. This is the physical manifestation of Glory.

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    8. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:02 PM

      Manly tears were shed.

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    9. AtlurAugust 12, 2011 at 2:03 PM

      This... is something to treasure.

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    10. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:03 PM

      it's an obnoxious joke. Fun is over.

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    11. tom10320August 12, 2011 at 2:03 PM

      Wait, I forgot! I wasted my last comment, dammit! PMVs of bad fanfictions are MY territory! All I need now is a dramatic reading...

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    12. MONSTERheartAugust 12, 2011 at 2:04 PM

      I hate it when I have spider sex with Big Mac.

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    13. Lunar ApologistAugust 12, 2011 at 2:04 PM

      Bestfic is best fic.

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    14. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:04 PM

      @Anonymous

      Haters gonna hate

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    15. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:04 PM

      There is a reason I only do Non fan-fiction its because I don't have the attention span to read anything this long

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    16. NinestempestAugust 12, 2011 at 2:04 PM

      @Anonymous
      y so hipster?

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    17. MaximillianVeersAugust 12, 2011 at 2:05 PM

      I...

      What. Is. Wrong. With. You.

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    18. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:05 PM

      After looking at the tag on the pastbin copy, I think...that ED has been trolled.

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    19. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:06 PM

      oh dear god this is so awesome i don't fucking even.

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    20. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:06 PM

      A true masterpiece.

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    21. The MechanicAugust 12, 2011 at 2:07 PM

      Babies -EVERYWHERE-!!!!!!!

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    22. AyralynnAugust 12, 2011 at 2:07 PM

      I think my English teacher just had a heart attack from me reading this.

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    23. TenchiFreak5August 12, 2011 at 2:07 PM

      5 Stars? More like 12 Stars.



      I personally found the parallels to Industrial-era Britain to be a bit forced, but the use of Big Mac as a stand-in for modern day Corporate America was truly masterful.

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    24. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:07 PM

      Ok, I'll play along; best thing ever!

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    25. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:08 PM

      Blows stories like past sins and fallout equestria right out of the water.

      5/5

      ~Scratch

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    26. ROBCakeran53August 12, 2011 at 2:08 PM

      SETH! YOU TROLLING BASTARD! I TRUSTED YOU! I TRUSTED YOUR PRE-READERS! HELL, I TRUSTED SOME COMMENTS AND LET THE NEIGH SAYERS GO... AND FOR WHAT? THIS??? IF THIS IS GOD LIKE, THEN WHAT THE HELL IS PEN STROKE'S "PAST SINS"?

      On a lighter note, the lulz had reading this remind me so fondly of "Half Life: Full Life Consequences"

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    27. RobinAugust 12, 2011 at 2:08 PM

      I . . man, I got through about five paragraphs and my readerbits just up and quit. Too much for me to handle! @.@

      . . but seriously, I couldn't stand the . . . er . . 'awesomeness' and gave up. Does this mean I won't get super powers? o.o

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    28. RubidiaAugust 12, 2011 at 2:08 PM

      ... one sentence in and uh...

      I got nuttin'.

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    29. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:09 PM

      Sexual themes? what the fuck sethisto? why are you putting such shit on a pedestal? Two words you sicko: FUCK YOU

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    30. derpidetyAugust 12, 2011 at 2:09 PM

      I read plenty of fan fiction, but rarely do I come across something so magnificent it changes the way I think about not only the fandom but about life.

      black and white
      bubbles
      Spiderses

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    31. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:09 PM

      @ROBCakeran53

      Wait till the live reading comes out =P

      He's working on it

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    32. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM

      Words escape me.

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    33. NinestempestAugust 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM

      @Anonymous
      umad bro?

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    34. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM

      Could I get a english translation for this fic? I'm sure the awesomeness will engulf my mind and and body once I can read it.

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    35. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM

      I wanted to see no fanfictions.

      Seth, you hurt my feelings.

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    36. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM

      this fic is awful...

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    37. Lunar ApologistAugust 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM

      @TenchiFreak5

      Spike as the state of National Healthcare was really well-handled, I thought; especially for as delicate as the subject is right now.

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    38. SindiewenAugust 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM

      Ok, Ive never seen *GODLIKE* Before. This should be really good I presume.
      Looks like I know what my friday will consist of, Reading this.

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    39. SomberAugust 12, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      I don't get it. The spelling was horrible, and I couldn't really tell what the story was. How'd this get past all the pre-readers? ::Blink Blink:: Explain?

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    40. Streek471August 12, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      "Oh wow, this must be really good..."

      *starts reading*

      I am not amused.

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    41. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      I guess a few of you missed the "irony" tag, huh?

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    42. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      I trusted you, Seth. And you gave me...that.

      However, the lulz I had were equal to that of the lulz I had when I read Full Life Consequences or DEAD RISNIG 3: DEAD FLYING, so thats pretty cool.

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    43. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:12 PM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

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    44. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:12 PM

      *slow clap*

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    45. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:12 PM

      @Streek471

      Well I certainly am =D

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    46. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:12 PM

      According to the rules of the internet, the only way to survive being trolled like this is to troll everyone else the same way... Seth since when did you play by the rules...

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    47. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:13 PM

      @NinesTempest

      No but congratulations on clarifying yourself as a retard. *clap**clap**clap**clap*

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    48. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:13 PM

      Nothing made me ever feel the way like when I read this.
      It was incredible! I lost my will to live. From here on out it can only go downwards...

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    49. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:13 PM

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I couldn't get past the first paragraph.

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    50. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:13 PM

      Why is there no shipping tag? Sethisto, this is an outrage!

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    51. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:13 PM

      @RenegadeProtagonist

      That's kind of the point, yes.

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    52. WildWood PonyAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      TRULY THE GLORY IS AT HAND. ALL HAIL.

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    53. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      Seth: biggest troll to ever walk the bronydom

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    54. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      Pfft. All your reviews are NOTHING! This is a litarary Masterpiece, only worthy of ROYALTY! ROYALTY I SAY!

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    55. ZAquanimusAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      Am I the only one who doesn't appreciate this?

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    56. ThisNameIsNotProfaneAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      I have not truly been alive before this moment.

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    57. NinestempestAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      @Anonymous
      why can't you hold all those mads?

      ReplyDelete
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    58. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      The hell is going on in here?

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    59. MetalGearSamusAugust 12, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      TotallyExpected/5

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    60. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:15 PM

      @Anonymous

      e.e

      It's right there on the second line of "labels:"

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    61. UnknownAugust 12, 2011 at 2:15 PM

      No other fanfic can compare! We should all just go kill ourselves because no one will ever top this fic!

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    62. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:15 PM

      @NinesTempest

      Y can't I hold all this idiocy?

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    63. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:15 PM

      WTF is this shit in my non-fiction filters?

      "Contains: Sexual themes and Ideologically sensitive material"

      Very reassuring...

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    64. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:16 PM

      This is truly a masterpiece. Anyone who doesn't see the brilliance of this amazing piece of literature is blind. Literally blind, because no one can say with a straight face that this won't be the most influential story of the 21st century and beyond. Thus bringing us to a new era with such a jump of storytelling quality not seen since the invention of the printing press.

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    65. Brent DiCrescenzo,August 12, 2011 at 2:16 PM

      The experience and emotions tied to reading Spiderses are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax. It's a fanfic of sparking paradox. It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 134 lines. It will cleanse your brain of those little crustaceans of worries and inferior fanfics clinging inside the fold of your gray matter. The harrowing texts hit from unseen angles and emanate with inhuman genesis. When the page tab closes, and it occurs that one man created this, it's clear that Argembarger must be the greatest writer alive, if not the best since you know who. A breathing person made this fanfic! And you can't wait to dive back in and try to prove that wrong over and over.

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    66. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:16 PM

      @ZAquanimus
      nope. But that DOES make you a humorless boob.

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    67. TenchiFreak5August 12, 2011 at 2:16 PM

      @Lunar Apologist

      Indeed. And the scene where he is attacked by the spiders is a perfect satire of the recent revival of 1950s-era Red Scare politics.

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    68. C. Theron VulpinAugust 12, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      *facehoof* times NINE THOUSAND!!!

      Consarnit seth, y u do this to us? You think you're funny, don't you? Well... I chuckled a little. But that's it.

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    69. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      I love you so much right now.

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    70. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      This is beautiful!

      We need fanart, live readings, and a GMOD version of this fic FAST!!!

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    71. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      THIS IS THE BEST STORY EVER MADE EVER AND IT MADE ME WANT TO EAT A GIRAFFE

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    72. Kimba the White LionAugust 12, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      Eh, I don't think the Meriam Webster character was flushed out enough. I understand the author's intention to make his backstory mysterious which adds to the overall mood, but I was really hoping to hear about how he got into the position he was in.

      If it wasn't for that, I'd be giving it 5 stars

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    73. RyexAugust 12, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      *Activates slow clap processor*

      Clap-Clap *pStPOp*

      Great the dam thing even broke my slow clap processor... How am I supposed to entertain my self NOW!

      Blasted trolls.

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    74. SindiewenAugust 12, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      Have... I been troll'd? I... I cannot Believe it!

      I shall banish myself to the depths of the Everfree forest because of my inablity to realize i've been troll'd.
      Good bye cruel and beautiful world!

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    75. NinestempestAugust 12, 2011 at 2:18 PM

      @Anonymous
      ... Eh. I got nothing.

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    76. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:18 PM

      There's Celestia tier, and then there's this.

      ReplyDelete
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    77. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:20 PM

      Seth just wanted to see the comments this post would produce. We all lose for providing him with comments.

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    78. theBSDudeAugust 12, 2011 at 2:20 PM

      I think I've developed the ability to stop time. Thank you, Spiderses. And thank you too, Seth.

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    79. ShadowCellAugust 12, 2011 at 2:20 PM

      welp, time to shut down EQD, ponychan, ponybooru, all of it. the fandom is over, guys. it has completed its masterpiece. everybody go home, ride's over.

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    80. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:20 PM

      Great. way to waste a great cover pic seth. I am dissapoint

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    81. elyk0956August 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

      We got just trolled... so hard... but I can't stop laughing...

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    82. derpidetyAugust 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

      ok in a seriousness that was a hilariously bad trollfic :D

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    83. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

      Amazing... simply amazing. I wish I had such talent and skill as to write such a novel novel.

      ReplyDelete
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    84. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

      @Anonymous

      Yes we have broken our greatest rule:

      Don't feed the parasprites. I am truly ashamed

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    85. DashaliciousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

      Life would have been better for her if she'd had moar regualr pony sex

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    86. Brother_FenirAugust 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

      CELESTIA'S TEATS, SETH.

      WHAT UNHOLY MADNESS HATH THOU WROUGHT UP0N OUR DECENT MINDS!

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    87. GabuExAugust 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM

      "Celestia-tier" needs to step aside; we now have "Spiderses-tier". It only has one single entry: this fanfic. Nothing else will ever reach that tier. It's a whole new plane of existence.

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    88. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM

      Does john freeman make an appearance in this fic?

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    89. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM

      Reverse of what everyone else says.

      It can only go up from here.
      P.S. Blaurg D:

      ~Appletank

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    90. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM

      Wait, if you actually get to the middle of it, it becomes a coherent story, but then it goes back to being awesome again. I was starting to get worried for a second.

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    91. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM

      Seth - greatest troll on the internet

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    92. FluffyWuffsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM

      Trollsethia

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    93. MaximillianVeersAugust 12, 2011 at 2:23 PM

      @ZAquanimus

      Nope. I'm right there with you.

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    94. Silver QuillAugust 12, 2011 at 2:23 PM

      What is this site?

      ReplyDelete
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    95. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:23 PM

      I don't usually see, but when I do, it's what you have done here.

      ReplyDelete
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    96. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      DiS dezrves big and eight sTars fr all the espider sex and draining spik's fluids

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    97. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      OK, I assume the back-trolling is over this far down the page, so I'll just say this; ROFLMAOPIMPNHAHALOL

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    98. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      Nothing can compare to DOOM: Repercussions of Evil or Half Life: Full Life Consequences

      I expected moere hawt spider secks :c

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    99. Lunar ApologistAugust 12, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      @TenchiFreak5

      I thought so, too! And of course, the descriptions of the young's growth within their eggs reminded me greatly of the New Deal and programs like it; though others would perhaps argue that it's more accurate to think of them as representing the plight of the working man in Depression-Era America.

      Poppycock, says I.

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    100. BitmunAugust 12, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      Someone do a dramatic reading of this NOW. IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN, DAMN IT.

      ReplyDelete
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    101. Silent MachinaAugust 12, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      Trollisto is troll.

      I did, however learn a valuable lesson from this fic:
      apparently Milton cures bad grammar poisoning...

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    102. SoulsponyAugust 12, 2011 at 2:25 PM

      God dammit seth. TOO GOOD AT TROLLING.

      ReplyDelete
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    103. DarkFlameAugust 12, 2011 at 2:26 PM

      This needs to be the new standard for spelling and grammar in the English language.

      ReplyDelete
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    104. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:26 PM

      SPIDERSES BACKFLIPPED OUT OF THE SKY.

      I HAVE TO KILL FAST.

      AND FANFICS TOO SLOW.

      ReplyDelete
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    105. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:26 PM

      are we ponys
      no

      WE ARE SPIDERs!

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    106. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      =|

      ReplyDelete
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    107. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      @Anonymous

      why is everything bigger and 8?

      ReplyDelete
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    108. gillnavisinghAugust 12, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      At first I heard the beautiful comments, and was afraid for my own fanfic...
      Now... This fic made me laugh, cry and inspired me to do my best to achieve the impossible...
      I can't bring the same feelings to my readers with my story that this one has...
      But I can try... I can Dream...

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    109. TosxychorAugust 12, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      ...I actually believed the whole thing for a second, Sethisto. I wanted to believe. Shame on me for being so naive, eh.

      *retreats in a corner, sobbing*

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    110. CelestiaAugust 12, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      If anything should be banned to the moon its this and quickly, before it destroys my mind.

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    111. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:28 PM

      spider is now the best pony

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    112. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:28 PM

      and the spiders said ok mommy and they wetn back to where sipke was and tehy barfed all his juice back and he was better! spike said t"henk you spiders you are my best friends ' and the spiders made a happy face and then they hugged but this time they didn't drain all of spike's vital fluids

      I lost all control at this part. This is the part where I received my super powers, as the Pre-Readers did.

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    113. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:28 PM

      I gave up on this two chapters in. You should too unless you want your brain to melt.

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    114. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:28 PM

      I blame the drow.

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    115. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:28 PM

      This needs so much fan art.

      Also Miriam Webster is best OC.

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    116. FluffyWuffsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:28 PM

      @Anonymous

      WAT YOU DID THAR, I C IT!!!!

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    117. ShikoAugust 12, 2011 at 2:29 PM

      I am stunned. I was crying in the end... This was the bestest story ever!

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    118. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:29 PM

      "No! I must befriend the demons" she shouted
      The radio said "No, Twilight. You are the demons"
      And then Twilight was a zombie.

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    119. Not A Good Username 360August 12, 2011 at 2:30 PM

      >calling it an experience

      So... it's like The Room? D:

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    120. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:30 PM

      Next time anyone asks me to describe anything I will answer "it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence"

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    121. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:30 PM

      I think I saw a grammar error in the fifth paragraph.

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    122. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:32 PM

      I read Cupcakes and this wonderful masterpiece and i am still sane, i think...
      So i guess i got the Immortal Braincells Superpower
      *yay*

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    123. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:32 PM

      And then John was a zombie

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    124. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:32 PM

      Seth Has obtained Trollestia tier troll.

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    125. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:33 PM

      @Bitmun

      How about a dramatic reading, over a garys mod video? a la "Full life consequences"

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    126. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:33 PM

      @Anonymous

      WHAT YOU DID THAR

      I HAVE SEEN IT

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    127. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:33 PM

      Seth, I would like to thank you for sharing this masterpiece with us bronies. My existence has now become complete

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    128. SystemdertotenAugust 12, 2011 at 2:33 PM

      ..The fuck did I just read?




      This is hilarious.

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    129. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:34 PM

      Rated Mature for the Ideologically Sensitive

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    130. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:34 PM

      Yeah, saw *that* coming. Call it sheer preservation instinct from overexposure to awesomeness. :D

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    131. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:34 PM

      Oh my god Seth... You troll master of trolls... Torllestia gives you her blessings.

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    132. JakedasnakeAugust 12, 2011 at 2:34 PM

      You know what, I'm not even gonna play along. This shit was, in the famous words of Charles Barkley, " Just Turrible."

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    133. Midnight ShadowAugust 12, 2011 at 2:34 PM

      @ROBCakeran53

      oh yes, this masterful piece of work IS fim fiction's version of full life consequences. It's overarcing majesty and literary might will be spoken of in hushed whispers throughout the halls of equestria daily and indeed, the world, for an age and a half.

      I cried. I wept. I was locked up in the looney bin.

      I have no words.

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    134. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:35 PM

      It's................................. *nice*
      but,seriously?

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    135. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:36 PM

      Hahahahahahahahaha WIN.

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    136. CelestiaAugust 12, 2011 at 2:37 PM

      @Anonymous

      Indeed...

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    137. TenchiFreak5August 12, 2011 at 2:37 PM

      @Lunar Apologist

      But the ending! Oh Celestia, the ending.


      Is it truly better to go against your principles for a better, easier life? I must say that I'm ambivalent about the concept, and that not this is really the story's only flaw, though I sense a sequel hook in that respect that will answer my questions better.

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    138. ZAquanimusAugust 12, 2011 at 2:38 PM

      @Kits

      Oh this is an attempt at humour?

      I wasn't aware.

      I see nothing like Colbert or Monty Python in here.
      Nor any of the joyous fun of MLP.

      Strange.
      Guess I don't know humour.

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    139. Kim Fluttershy DykasAugust 12, 2011 at 2:38 PM

      Google accounts not working for me on this site anymore >:(

      OK! So, I saw this post here and read "GODLIKE" in all those pretty colors! Then I read Seth's comment on this and the pre-readers'. I was intrigued, to say the least.

      I mean, GOD-LIKE? GODLIKE! It says right there: GODLIKE! Not even FoE has the tag godlike and it is the best story I've read in this fandom (though, I'll admit I haven't read too many. Quite busy with reviewing and writing myself)

      So, I clicked the link. Read the first sentence and realize instantly that this is a trollfic! I think "WTF!? How can a trollfic be GODLIKE!?" And, after reading the first 2 paragraphs, I'm sorry to say that this story is NOT GODLIKE.

      IT IS GODESSLIKE!!! I was almost rofl'ing after 2 paragraphs! Could be the mood I'm in, but that is awesome. Good trollfics are rare, but once found, they make you laugh like few other things can.

      I'll give some form of feebdack (depending on how much air is left in my lungs) once I finish reading this story.

      "chapter two : spiders"

      Already, this fic has made my day. And night. Though, I'll say that this is a disgrace to grammar, and my inner editor is screaming like an alicorn being raped by both Luna and Celestia's horn... oh god I must cut down on FoE D:

      My mentality just exploded. Twice. This is GOD GODESSESLIKE!!!

      MILLIONS!?!??!?! AHAHAHAHHFASUIDDDDFJGHDFKGHDFJGJDA *explosion*

      You know, it wasn't too long ago that I said "Stories need to stop sending Spike away just to save work, it's getting over-used and readers notice it, negatively. Use him, or do SOMETHING else with him. Maybe kill him? :D" And you actually managed to do both of these. Oh, btw, spoiler? :P

      Excellent!

      Barfed it up? THAT WAS THE LIMIT I'M GOING TO AHAHAHAHHAHAGGAHAHA *explosions X999 999 999*

      TL DR; I'm allergic to godlikeness *reads story* R.I.P

      5/5. Pure comedy.

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    140. Sonic FlareAugust 12, 2011 at 2:39 PM

      Reading that is like letting a spider crawl into my brain and make spider babies and I don't know where this metaphor is going. >_>

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    141. NinestempestAugust 12, 2011 at 2:39 PM

      @ZAquanimus
      ... You... don't like trollfics?

      ReplyDelete
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    142. MushAugust 12, 2011 at 2:40 PM

      Theat were most best fanfic ever even more than the one with the little bitty Nyx because of nyx was not spider.

      ReplyDelete
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    143. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:40 PM

      HAHAHAHA wow. Humanity has gone further up shits creek without a paddle.

      ReplyDelete
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    144. Midnight ShadowAugust 12, 2011 at 2:41 PM

      @NinesTempest

      I guess he doesn't like trollfics.

      My brain couldn't hold the majesty before the first paragraph ended...it broke me.

      apparently U can't hold all the MADS

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    145. CirotonAugust 12, 2011 at 2:41 PM

      To the Author: You horrible, magnificent bastard! This story had everything: death, sex, spiders, grammar and spelling that would make Jules Verne roll in his grave (from how awesome it is, of course) and it had a happy ending. Yay!

      Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with the Brain Bleach!

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    146. BejotyAugust 12, 2011 at 2:42 PM

      I hate it when everythings eight. =\

      ReplyDelete
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    147. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:42 PM

      @ZAquanimus

      Your not alone. I found this extremely pointless.

      ReplyDelete
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    148. Kitsune.Tales (Egghead)August 12, 2011 at 2:42 PM

      Oh, Sethisto, you card

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    149. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:43 PM

      @Midnight Shadow

      Like I said "a humorless boob"

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    150. John PerryAugust 12, 2011 at 2:44 PM

      Well, I had tears in my eyes alright...Of laughter.

      God damn it, I was totally fooled until I opened that link. And even then I kept thinking "Wait...what? No, this is a mistake..."

      I couldn't even get half way through it. On part because of laughing too hard and also on part of a fear of what would happen to my sanity if I went through with this one...

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    151. TonyAugust 12, 2011 at 2:45 PM

      Well, that story was epic! It was funny! It was sad. It was a riot! everything mashed up into one great story!

      ReplyDelete
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    152. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:45 PM

      If an author admits it's a trollfic, then the humor is not only lost, but it never existed in the first place.

      It's like a seven-year-old who says a joke, laughs at his own joke, and then explains his joke to his parents, whose only response is to smile and nod, or just outright ignore him.

      It's 2011. Trollfics lost their value years ago.

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    153. Midnight ShadowAugust 12, 2011 at 2:45 PM

      @John

      It physically hurt to read it, but it's like shedding your skin...or giving birth to spiderses everywhere.

      Everything is now bigger and 8

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    154. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:45 PM

      why an i reeding this wiht the voise of "Half Life: Full Life Consequences" ? :D

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs

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    155. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:45 PM

      So all it takes to get your own post on here and have people go crazy for your work is to go full retard while writing a fanfic? ...

      ReplyDelete
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    156. UnknownAugust 12, 2011 at 2:47 PM

      This was truly a masterpiece of this fandom, and it slightly saddens me that I'll never live up to this level of greatness.

      ReplyDelete
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    157. BlurAugust 12, 2011 at 2:48 PM

      Well, crap. This looks like we've all been trolled. Sethisto, I do believe you are a jerk.

      ReplyDelete
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    158. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:48 PM

      How come RAPE isn't in the tags cause obviously that's what this fic is doing to everyone AND I AIN'T JOINING.

      ReplyDelete
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    159. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:48 PM

      beautiful

      ReplyDelete
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    160. KaileaAugust 12, 2011 at 2:49 PM

      Oh, I get it!

      This is the pony version of "My Immortal"- the worst fanfiction ever written.

      ReplyDelete
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    161. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfbK_dbsCu0

      ReplyDelete
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    162. ArgembargerAugust 12, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      On a serious note, all I did was write the thing initially; anything beyond that is out of my hands and I was not responsible for it.

      don'tknowifregret

      ReplyDelete
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    163. MoshalasAugust 12, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      This made me explode twice. Great work to whoever crafted this.

      ReplyDelete
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    164. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      Why are people going nuts over this? It's completely devoid of humor and has no value at all. Even if you take this for exactly what it is, it's still bad.

      ReplyDelete
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    165. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      Damnit Seth, I don't want to see Fanfiction in the Not-Fanfiction section of the site.

      At least follow your own rules once and a while.

      ReplyDelete
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    166. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:51 PM

      I despise you all.

      ReplyDelete
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    167. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 2:51 PM

      @Moshalas

      he posted right above you!

      ReplyDelete
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    168. DareDreamerAugust 12, 2011 at 2:51 PM

      I don't normally read fanfics, but my god...I...I'm speechless after reading such literature. It truly blows my mind such inspiration can impact the most brilliant of writers. Just.....wow...

      ReplyDelete
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    169. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:51 PM

      This is the Citizen Kane of Fanfiction. Nothing compares.

      ReplyDelete
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    170. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:52 PM

      Stuff like this is why we love you Seth. xD

      -The Jack

      ReplyDelete
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    171. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:52 PM

      They rapin everybody out here

      ReplyDelete
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    172. DRAAugust 12, 2011 at 2:53 PM

      I came and I exploded.

      ReplyDelete
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    173. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:53 PM

      @AnonymousSeriously? Past sins blows this horse shit out of the water. But it is good as what it is, an awesome TROLLfic, as in, not to be compared to real fics. It is the best trollfic ive ever seen though, unless someone poniesed my immortal

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    174. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:55 PM

      This is the best trolling i have ever seen in my entire life

      SPOILER SPOILER

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    175. FlatterscheuAugust 12, 2011 at 2:56 PM

      Oh god
      WHAT

      It was awesome.

      ReplyDelete
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    176. Midnight ShadowAugust 12, 2011 at 2:56 PM

      @Anonymous

      This is a trollfic so powerful, I rage everytime I try to read it until everything is bigger and 8. And I know it's a trollfic.

      To be fair, you can't blame it on blogpony, there's far too much awesome in this this story not to share the pain.

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    177. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:56 PM

      LOL XD JUST LIKE FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES HUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEUHEUEHEUE

      Put your fanfiction shit out of the non fanfiction mode.

      ReplyDelete
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    178. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:57 PM

      terrible

      ReplyDelete
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    179. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:57 PM

      @Anonymous Ok, everypony, its a horribly written troll fic. Were all praising it like its the best. Ha ha ha. There, I laughed. This joke got older than chuck norris jokes exept hyperspeedy. This is an awesome troll fic though.

      ReplyDelete
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    180. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:57 PM

      I... I don't even.

      I DO NOT EVEN.

      ReplyDelete
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    181. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:58 PM

      As Half Life Full Life Consequences was put into Gmod, so this timeless classic shall be made with clips from the cartoon series.

      This Isn' t a request, THIS IS A DEMAND.

      ReplyDelete
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    182. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 2:58 PM

      This fic was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing.

      Yeah, it was that.

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    183. Mr. WonkoAugust 12, 2011 at 2:58 PM

      "She screamed a little bit but not really becasue she was trying to be brave like rainbow dash would be brave if she was a spider and flying at spider babies."
      I lol'd.

      But yeah, this kind of convinced me I should read fanfic. Thanks for putting it in non-fanfiction. Is there a Bronies Guide to Fan-Fiction: Must Read?

      ReplyDelete
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    184. VestAugust 12, 2011 at 2:58 PM

      “By the ballsacks of a thousand star-devils, who dropped the moon on us?”
      -Xenith

      ReplyDelete
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    185. Whirl WindAugust 12, 2011 at 2:59 PM

      In b4 "everything is bigger and eight" becomes canon

      ReplyDelete
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    186. MoshalasAugust 12, 2011 at 2:59 PM

      @Kits

      It's ok. When things like this happen, I kinda go nuts.

      ReplyDelete
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    187. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 3:00 PM

      I don't care how good you think it is, don't tag a story as not-a-story.

      ReplyDelete
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    188. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 3:01 PM

      LOL xD so random!!!

      ReplyDelete
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    189. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 3:01 PM

      O GOD YES ITS BEAUTIFUL.

      I HAVE BEEN SHOWN THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD

      ReplyDelete
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    190. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 3:01 PM

      Your faithful studnt, Twilight Spackle...

      ReplyDelete
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    191. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 3:01 PM

      @Mr. Wonko

      Scroll down to the bottom of EqD, click on Fanfiction Archive. Look for [6 stars]

      Start with "Storm" =P

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    192. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 3:04 PM

      I never expected such a joke coming from EQD. I'm disappointed, really.
      Either that, or i'm terribly missing something here, because the story i read
      IS a joke.

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    193. Citizen SLIAugust 12, 2011 at 3:05 PM

      At first I was like "Woah!"
      Then I was like "Woah..."
      Lastly I was like "Woah."

      ReplyDelete
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    194. D. McCarthyAugust 12, 2011 at 3:06 PM

      This makes Fallout Equestria look like crap.

      ReplyDelete
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    195. Sunlight GleamAugust 12, 2011 at 3:07 PM

      I spent an hour thinking about reviewing this, I decided to do what any sane pony would do, put a ton of warning labels everywhere and said, "don't waste your time"

      ReplyDelete
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    196. kitsAugust 12, 2011 at 3:08 PM

      @Freekles1245

      "because the story i read IS a joke."

      THAT'S THE JOKE!

      Youtube "full life consequences" or "my immortal"

      ReplyDelete
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    197. ULTRAMARIOXAugust 12, 2011 at 3:08 PM

      and the pants were dead.

      ReplyDelete
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    198. DaylightAugust 12, 2011 at 3:08 PM

      My favorite part is how all spelling and punctuation becomes perfectly correct for a few paragraphs as the spiders swarm Spike.

      ReplyDelete
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    199. DemiGlitchAugust 12, 2011 at 3:09 PM

      >"so much bigger and 8"

      My life is complete.

      ReplyDelete
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    200. DJLowriderAugust 12, 2011 at 3:11 PM

      Oh God! I can see forever!

      Someone needs to do an epic reading of this now and post it to YouTube. Who among you bronies will step up to this task and live up to FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES?

      ReplyDelete
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