Author: Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi
Description: Rainbow Dash seeks to pull off the greatest trick ponykind will ever know. When things don't go quite according to plan, a guilt ridden Twilight Sparkle offers her help.Passions
Additional Tags: Emotional, Guilt, Trick, Regret, Daily Life
22 comments:
guilt ridden? what did she do?
ReplyDeleteShe screwed up yet another spell
ReplyDeleteTodarac didn't read the story, obviously.
ReplyDeleteI assume dash lost her wings.
ReplyDelete/again/
@Todarac
ReplyDelete>This was actually part of the Writing Training Ground cliche theme week, but apparently he did a really good job of it!
>This was actually part of the Writing Training Ground cliche theme week
>part of the Writing Training Ground cliche theme week
>cliche theme
hurrdurr
That picture is adorable. I assume it has nothing to do with the story, but I'm gonna hope it does regardless of the description/tags.
ReplyDeleteAbout the only thing I'd object to is the Grimdark tag. Good story.
ReplyDeleteReally nice concept! I haven't personally read any other of the "dash loses her wings" cliche, but I felt this one used it quite effectively. :D
ReplyDeleteThe ending seemed like a bit of a cop-out, though.
Nice story.
ReplyDeleteAww...I was hoping for a story about Dash and her pet cloud.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, decent story for sure though I wish the pacing was a bit better, but hey, deadlines and whatnot. Whatchugonnado?
@colt classic
ReplyDeleteI think she was the one who made the decision to remove Dash's wings. It wasn't said outright, but she was trying to defend the act itself.
I thought I was going to have to hate Dash for doing Twilight like that... Suddenly happy ending... You win this round, Dash.
That was beautiful. I was skeptical at first, and there are in fact three glaring cliches, but it was executed wonderfully.
ReplyDelete[Sad][Dark] Rainbow Dash 1 chapter? Ok bring it.
ReplyDeleteRainbow Dash is unable to fly. Check
Rainbow Dash loses her wings. Check
feelsbadman.jpg
Random happy ending? Check? *Looks at tags*
Uh... Well there was definite potential but that ending. Oh look everything was a dream and everything before didn't matter. Plus I was actually expecting Twilight to lose her horn.
It's what it is. 2/5.
Oh, you magnificent bastard. Bravo, my friend. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteThat was good. I don't really understand the [DARK], though. This is pretty mild a story, and [SAD] is more than enough to describe it.
ReplyDelete@Tosxychor
ReplyDeleteYea, I was erring on the cautious side here. Someone I know submitted a story without a dark tag that touched on death and some of the comments seemed to indicate the readers felt blindsided. Maybe I'm getting too fixated on those, but they just really stuck out to me at the time.
@Detoxicity
ReplyDeleteI object to your saying that nothing mattered in the end. There was still a mental journey, even if I removed the physical at the end. However, I do realize this type of ending can grate on some people and I respect that.
Dash losing her wings is the most awful thing. Losing her wings is basically losing her life.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand Sad and Grimdark fics. I wouldn't be able to read or write one without feeling awful, which is the opposite of what i thought FiM was supposed to be about.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteSome people enjoy seeing the ponies learn from and overcome tremendous obstacles. The worse the crap thrown at them, the more satisfying it is to see the ponies standing tall and victorious at the end of the day. I should also point out that many of the more adventurous episodes contain risk of serious injury or death in their storyline (and it's only because we're genre savvy that we know the ponies will come out relatively uninjured).
Did you even read my story?
Playing Hammerfight for a week has given me a completely different take on that image.
ReplyDeleteGreat story. Did not quite have the emotional impact I was expecting. Should have had Dash wallow in misery a bit more before Twi decided to use the spells. Also I liked how it was almost like Dash was acting like an addict and feel that should have been developed a bit more. Thirdly I feel Dash's expression of both relief and remorse upon waking up for real at the end should have been greater.
ReplyDelete