Sunday, April 17, 2011

Story: First Date

[Shipping] Sparkledash and makeovers! Confound these ponies!

Author:Hiddenbrony
Description: Rainbow Dash works up the courage to ask a certain violet pony out on a romantic excursion - but even after the hard part, can Rainbow Dash catch a break?
First Date Part 1
First Date Part 2

Additional Tags: makeover Applejack Fluttershy party Pinkie Pie

37 comments:

l0x0r said...

I enjoyed it a lot, very well written and went at a good pace. That ending left me a little sad though. Actually a lot sad. I'm going to go listen to Tom Waits now.

Ebon Mane said...

I read the ending as deliciously ambiguous. Not sure if that was the intent. Interesting one overall, a bit different, a bit more subtle than the average shipfic.

Chris said...

Very cute and heartwarming in my opinion. I only wish I could write shipping stories like that...

Anonymous said...

Very nice. I like how the end at first hints that they're still together, but then reveals they're not. Clever.

Narwhals' Bend said...

Puts my SparkleDash to shame. :'(

Anonymous said...

ending is epic
the emotion is just perfect

Brian said...

As a hopeless romantic, the ending felt like a sucker-punch to my heart. Masterfully written though.

Anonymous said...

Who the hell is tall dark and handsome?
I want to kill him.

Anonymous said...

Who else mentally filled in Luna as Tall, Dark, and Handsome? <_<

HiddenBrony said...

Oh wow. So many people mentioned it and I thought they were just reading it in their own way... But bloody hell that was a seriously bittersweet ending. I wrote it and I felt saddened by it when I gave it a second read through when I woke up.

Still though. I have no regrets.

RefractedPegasus said...

Beautifully written, very well done!

Don't worry, Rainbow. There's always Rarity if you can keep her from dressing you up!

Anonymous said...

But lets face it... there's no need for a town to have a party just because two ponies decide to go on their first date. Usually a pony's friends are not even aware of a first date-- forget celebrating it. Heck, nothing I hate more than to have to go to a wedding.

Oh yeah. Duh. I guess thats because I'm a stallion. These are mares we're talking about. My mistake. Carry on.

Anonymous said...

my heart... :(

Anonymous said...

Twilight shipfics always seem to have sad endings for some reason, I don't think I've ever come across a Twi shipfic with a happy ending yet.

9Nine9 said...

HB hits one out of the park again.

@Ebon: It's ambiguous only in the sense that, IMO, it's hard to tell if RD regrets it. It is pretty clear Twilight is taken.

But yeah, I'm really liking your writing HB (even though you definitely know that from our talks in your googledocs), keep it up man.

Brian said...

@Anonymous: You noticed that too? Man, I was afraid I was the only one. I mean, the only fic with a completely happy ending for Twilight that I can think of would be "Out in the Cold", with Trixie.

fireant said...

That was very enjoyable reading, indeed.
Well written, cute and sweet, with perfect character reactions (or as I would imagine they should react) with maybe just a tiny-twinkie-pinkie-bit too much self boasting from Dashie - still, It makes me warm with Joy, and most importantly, make me Dawww with this superb bittersweet end, that was sad enough to shed a single tear for poor Dashie here, but also with such strong positive and vibrant auta to it, that it to not dwindle the warm from the overall read.

So, yeah, LOVED it ;)
Fantastic read just before you go to sleep.

Anonymous said...

simply amazing.
bitter-sweet. but still amazing.
well done.

BraveSpark said...

Lol that picture, I was diagramming a suggestion for coloring something.

Anonymous said...

That ending was a shocker. It makes you assume that they're still together, going as a couple to Applejack and Fluttershy's wedding, which I thought was cute.

Only to realize they're not together any more. It made me sad because it was a realistic ending, not fluff. Very well done though. Also, I think Twilight is going out with a guy now, judging by "tall, dark and handsome". I always pegged her as bi anyway.

I feel for Rainbow Dash though. I know what it's like to have bittersweet memories of a person. I give her credit though for staying friends with twilight. I can't say the same for my former love :<

That one tear. Her true feelings. I WANT TO HUG RAINBOW DASH AND WE CAN HAVE LONELINESS PARTY TOGETHER!

XenoBrony said...

It's clear that Dash and Twilight did not go on a second date, and THAT is what Dash regrets. She is most likely happy that Twilight is happy, but still wishes it was her, not 'tall dark and handsome'. I see here that Dash is sad because of what could have been but wasn't. It seems that twilight met this other pony shortly after her and Dash's date, before they could have a second one, and the two hit it off so to speak. Dash seemingly wishes it was her with Twilight. She regrets that they never got together, but not that they went on the first date. And wether or not it was ment as such, I invasion here that Dash loves Twilight and it hurts to see her in somepony else's arms. At the end it seemed Dash was secretly pretending her and Twilight were going as a couple, until they had to seperate. HiddenBrony, you need to write a sequel to this story, set at the time Twilight and 'tall dark and handsome' are getting married, and Dash is being torn up emotionally by it, and Twilight asks her to be her maid of honor. The story needs to be about Dash's reaction to being asked to attend such a high position at her love's wedding, but she's not the groom.

HiddenBrony said...

@XenoBrony

You seem to have a pretty good idea of what you want it to be... But it's not exactly what it is. I can't say too much without giving the world away, but Dash never pretended anything on the way to the wedding. The specifics of what all happened... you may see further down the line of my stories.

Mojo said...

well my heart is shattered for the next half hour or so!

:(.


but goddamn you know how to write a shipping fic.

Escher said...

@Anonymous
Well, it's a happy ending for Twilight, apparently! Maybe not so much for Dash, but she gets the GOOD END for almost every shipfic she's in, which is almost all of them...

SatoshiKyu said...

*Sigh* And now I'm sad. T_T Great fic, loved it to pieces, but the story fought back; the ending near tore me in half.

goudakaes said...

Great story. Liked it very much.

Nerevar said...

Sad ending is sad. Poor Dashy.

La Barata said...

Awwwwww.... Dash......
D:

Timber said...

Beautiful story. Kinda sad about the end. Tell me it's not done yet!

Anonymous said...

I Loved this story! You absolutely nailed the characters here, I felt like I was watching an episode as opposed to reading a fanfic. It is cute, hilarious and just all around lovable. I oftentimes struggle with Shipping fics, there's so many ways they can go wrong, especially if I don't agree with the pairing be represented, but your story is just pure entertainment. I seriously fell asleep dreaming about Dashy and Twi last night, BEST DREAMS EVER!

Anonymous said...

@HiddenBrony
Awwww. that was just so adorably endearing! Couldn't help but smile the whole time!
But that ending... aww man, full force emotional crotch kick. so sweet, so sad. keep writing. you do good work, and thank you for showing restraint with the shipping tag and not making an otherwise beautiful story gross.

And one more thing: Applejack and Fluttershy? really? thats a very odd pairing right there if you ask me, but you did good stuff with it at the end!

lanasevol said...

why's everypony have to pick on dash in all the fics? :(

aquapunkchick said...

poooorrrr dashieeeeeeeee T_T

IloveTwiSp said...

Why did you do that to Dash she deserve's better ooooooooh T_T

MissingTheMoon said...

YOU SIR.
ARE ONE EVIL MOTHERFUCKER.
D':

truehearted said...

My heartz just got Falcon Punched...

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