Sunday, February 20, 2011
100 things Pinkie Pie is not allowed to do in D&D
100 Things Pinkie Pie Is No Longer Allowed To Do In Dungeons And Dragons
1. Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to borrow dice. She will start juggling with them.
2. Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to roll Intimidate. She breaks out into giggles and is useless to the party for two hours.
3. Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to use the Magical Clown class she found online. It's too broken
4. The Battle Mat and any Permanent Markers are not to be within 20 blocks of each other while Pinkie Pie is playing.
5. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to play World of Darkness...She just. Doesn't. Get it.
6. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to produce a musical starring all Kobolds in an attempt to improve a situation. That was just a very silly session...
7. Pinkie Pie cannot throw a party because "the party needs a party."
8: Pinkie Pie is not allowed to LARP. Ever.
9. DO NOT LET PINKIE PIE ATTEMPT TO PUT EYESHADOW ON THE BEHOLDERS. THAT JUST MAKES THE SITUATION WORSE!
10. No miniatures at the table. Pinkie Pie'll start making them have a tea party.
11: You will not ask Pinkie about her encounter powers, because she will then count her powers.
12: Pinkie Pie cannot ask Spike for advice on dealing with dragons in-game.
13. No "cute" monsters. She'll try to befriend them or get really mad at Rainbow Dash for killing them.
14: No griffins, otherwise things get awkward with Rainbow Dash.
15: Pinkie Pie is NOT allowed to play Jump Rope with the Displacer Beasts' tentacles.
16: Twilight Sparkle uses her DM intervention power to ban the use of anything that has the term "Laughter" in any Spell or Class Ability under its Name/Description/Effect.
17: No Blink Dogs. Pinky Pie will try to challenge them to a Staring Contest.
18: "Party Throwing" is not a viable profession
19: No ponies, pegasus, or unicorn mounts. 'Cuz that'd just be weird.
20: Rainbow Dash is not allowed to take a gryphon as a mount.
21: In fact, no mounts at all.
22: No Animal monsters, Fluttershy refuses to fight them
23: Sneezing powder is limited to one use per session.
24: Pinkie Pie must understand that simply because her character has a horn doesn't mean she actually needs to bring one to the table each week.
25: Anything Mr Welch can't do, Pinkie Pie can't either.
26: No invisible ink at the table.
27: Pinkie Pie is banned from dumping all skill ranks into; and my only mid max the Skill "Perform: Song & Dance".
28: Pinkie Pie can NEVER have watch duties while the party is resting
29: Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to take notes on the session that week. It only ends with stick figures.
30: Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to roll stealth. It only ends in attacks of opportunity for the bad guys.
31: Pinkie Pie can only sing every other session, and the song is limited to 2 minutes in length. Unless it's really good.
32: Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to use Diplomacy. She'll just do... whatever it is she does.
33: Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to role play in Taverns. Twilight doesn't have the energy to make up 20 NPC 'friends' for her.
34: Pinkie Pie is no longer allowed to play Rogues, randomly breaking into song defeats the purpose of the class.
35: Pinkie Pie is not allowed to grab Spike and make him play the dungeon boss. He's too big for the board.
36: Twilight is not allowed to put more then one puzzle in each session, the group won't get anything done otherwise.
37: Pinkie Pie is only allowed to try and solve any riddle in song twice. TWICE.
38: If Rarity receives a new suit of armor and is not informed as to what it looks like in excruciating detail PLAY. WILL NOT. RESUME.
39: When Rarity gets new equipment, claim it's jewel encrusted even when it's not. It's the only thing that keeps her playing some games.
40: For the safety of everyone involved, Pinkie Pie is not allowed to play Paranoia. And neither is Fluttershy.
41: Fluttershy may not have Angel as her Animal Companion beyond Level 2 (3.5); Dire Bunnies in theory sound cute, but are not viable combatants at small size.
42: Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to paint the miniatures. They'll end up neon colored or rainbows.
43: Rainbow Dash is not allowed in a tavern, lest a plot de-railing bar brawl can and will ensue
44: When playing "Vampire: The Masquerade", change the word 'blood' to 'chocolate', less we get Fluttershy to faint at the table again.
45: Pinkie Pie can only DM oneshots. There's usually no topping what happens during her sessions.
46: Fluttershy may only once per week invoke the power to call upon past Mysterious/Magical Beasts she befriended to aid her in combat.
47: Twilight must have every possible festival/carnival/theatre/party planed out in advance for every town the campaign goes to...Or Pinkie Pie will do the planning instead. And the game might as well be cancelled this week.
48: AppleJack is not allowed to play a character that'll need "fancy mathematics".
49: Fluttershy is not allowed to play tank, she always cowers behind other players.
50: Pinky Pie cannot play Monk, as she will use Unarmed Strikes to tickle monsters.
51: Pinkie Pie can't play Half Orcs. She'll only use the size bonus to try and hug every one in the party at once.
52: Pinkie Pie is not allowed to play Druid, she'll call storms just to give people the hiccups.
53: Applejack is the only one allowed to bring snacks to games. Pinkie Pie is not allowed. For any reason. EVER.
54: While Twilight is playing, there is always an answer to a plot point in a Library.
55: Third party material is banned. Especially when the third party is Pinkie Pie.
56: Many breaks are needed...Other wise, Pinkie Pie loses interest and starts chasing butterflies and then Fluttershy gets mad and starts chasing her and then Rainbow Dash starts chasing her and she messes up Rarity's hair on the way out and...It's a huge mess.
57: Dash is not allowed to GM, she makes giant combat sessions and her tweaked out NPC does most of the work anyway.
58: Applejack is not allowed to stay up late and play if she has to work the next day.
59: When playing, Twilight isn't allowed to make the argument that ALL of life's answers are in the damn library.
60: Nightmare Moon is not allowed to be used as a campaign villain. Or a DMPC.
61: Never make a gladiator scenario. Rainbow Dash will NEVER leave the arena.
62: Never make a performance battle. Pinkie Pie'll take it DEAD serious.
63: No matter how much Pinkie Pie insists, 'Prop Comedy' is not and never will be a real combat skill.
64: No saving princes from monsters, Rarity gets far too excited.
65: At the start of each campaign, the DM must inspect Pinky's Character Sheet to ensure she didn't spend all her starting gold on sweets, props, and party supplies.
66: Big Mac isn't allowed to play. He'll just correct Apple Jack the whole time and make her really pissy.
67: Also Rarity isn't allowed to hit on Big Mac if he DOES play...That’s just weird for everyone involved.
68: If for some reason Spike is joining the session, there won't be any enemy dragons, dude takes it too personal.
69. Just because Rainbow Dash can fly, doesn't mean her character can.
70. Even if Rainbow Dash's character can fly it doesn't mean she can do any aerial stunt Rainbow Dash can.
71. Rainbow Dash is no longer allowed to demonstrate indoors how a particular aerial stunt would help in the game until she pays for the pictures, the china set, Granny Smith's new hip and the windows.
72: The party is limited to a maximum of five players and one DM. If Pinkie Pie wants to invite Big Mac, Spike, Derpy Hooves, Granny Smith and Angel to all play, she can start her own game.
73: If Spike is there, don't let him get any soda. We don't want him burping away the player sheets.
74: Dash is not allowed to bring Gilda. She's just too serious about making her character be "cool".
75: Dragons are a game breaker. No bringing them in the game unless you want Shy to hide under one of the chairs.
76: Rarity is not allowed to dress like her character at the table. We realize how stunning your armor set is, Rarity, stop showing it off.
77: Pinkie Pie is also not allowed to dress as her character. Or the monsters.
78: If Rainbow Dash does not win initiative, she cannot force anyone with a higher initiative to "hold their action".
79: The above goes triple for Fluttershy.
80: Rainbow Dash is not allowed to air guitar every time she rolls a Nat 20.
81: Rainbow Dash is now allowed to re-roll if she gets a 1.
82: If Spike accidentally sent his character sheet to Princess Celestia, don't try to invite her to join the game.
83: When playing Equixalted Rainbow Dash is limited to a 30-second description of stunts.
84: Pinkie Pie is limited to one stunt per session.
85: Derpy is no longer allowed to play ever again, her actions are too...'outside the box' for most campaigns. Except Pinkie Pie’s.
86: Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to paint her dice so they all have smiley faces.
87: Not every Kingdom is ruled by a Purple-haired Epic-Level Magician Queen, Twilight.
88: The GM is not allowed to kill Fluttershy's character. Seriously. There will be tears.
89: Rules aren't everything, Applejack
90: That doesn't mean you can break ALL of them, Rainbow Dash.
91: Spike is no longer allowed to GM without supervision, especially when Rarity is playing.
92: Spike and Twilight are not allowed to get into edition arguments mid-game.
93: Pinkie Pie Can't Cast Magic Missile at the DARKNESS
94: Nobody is allowed to make a campaign based on how we defeated Nightmare Moon. Especially if your part is highly exaggerated.
95: Do not tell Pinky Pie to roll for things. She'll just roll around on the carpet for a while and then ask "DID I WIN!? HUH HUH? DID I!?"
96: Pinkie Pie songs are no longer allowed to give the party any kind of bonus whatsoever.
97: It's not Friendship Missile.
98: Pinky and Dash are not allowed to "test out" new spells on party members.
99: Don't tell Fluttershy the game is Dungeons and DRAGONS. Pick something else, ANYTHING else.
100: NO Spike can't make his character with a mustache.