• Story: Daylight Burning (Update Complete!)



    [Adventure] [Sci-Fi][Dark]

    Author: Guesswork
    Description: "It's so nice to see you again," said the thing that was not Celestia. "Oh yes, I know who you are, Twilight Sparkle. I had a taste of your magic when we met the first time, remember? Mortals forget things so easily, I find. Allow me to refresh your memory: you tried to kill me. But you failed, Twilight. You only mostly killed me. And do you know what that makes you? One very, very unlucky pony..."
    Daylight Burning (New Part 15!)

    Additional Tags: Action, Horror, Spy, Thriller, No Humans

    64 comments:

    1. Holee~


      Dat intro.


      It's not often that an author uses dialogue for an intro.

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    2. @Applebloomismywaifu

      Your profile picture serves as proof that you just do that to mock us.....

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    3. Wait, what's the tag "no humans" supposed to mean? XD That';s interesting enough to give this a look.

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    4. Hello, thing that is not Celestia.

      Looks pretty interesting. Gonna stick it in my "read when you have writer's block" folder.

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    5. This story now has top priority on my long list of fanfics I'm reading/about to read. That description is just too intriguing to ignore.

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    6. Eh seems like just another "Nightmare's Revenge" fic, but this one seems cool enough to stand apart. Let's hope it does.

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    7. Hmmm, judging by that description, I'm surprised that there's no grimdark tag. I guess this is going to my 'To be read' folder

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    8. @Applebloomismywaifu mock, no i just thought it was a cute picture :<

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    9. @applebloomosmywaifu she' sticking her tongue out!!- OH I GIVE UP........

      Carry on....

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    10. That description alone is worth 5 stars, definitely reading now.

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    11. *whisper* doesnt stop ya from trollin*

      this story sounds cool but ive got school readin to do too x_x

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    12. Phantom Grimdark tag alert!

      @DPV111

      Yeah, I'd say this stands apart...

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    13. @karrotline "this story sounds cool but ive got school readin to do too x_x"

      Ditto. :(

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    14. For some reason that summery alone
      Added to list

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    15. @The Grey Potter
      It means there's no humans in the story. It's the opposite of a 'humans' tag.

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    16. Brilliant!! This has got me really excited 5 stars from me.

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    17. I read that discription in GLaDOS voice.
      Is that wrong?

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    18. OH GOD NO! NOOOOO!!!

      As it turns out, I have already started a story with nearly the exact same idea: Nightmare Moon spirit possessing Celestia. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?! Well, it looks like I will have to change it.

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    19. @Jaydon
      Not necessarily. Lots of stories share general concepts. What separates them is how well the concept is pulled off and who's actually writing about it.

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    20. @mycutiemarkisagun

      Grimdark is fine as long as no rape/torture/mane6death

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    21. @Tundra

      I guess my story has a different moral, it's more about politics... THE WRITING OF THE FANFIC HAS BEEN RESTORED.

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    22. Sounds like GLaDOS is going after ponies now.

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    23. For the bucking New Lunar Republic, at least in this world. Me gusta.

      oh, and end of 4th chapter SPOILER:

      THAT is why you don't piss off the Medic. go freeze your flank off in interstellar space for all i care, agent. >8D

      /SPOILER

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    24. @DPV111

      Only IRL rapists include rape scenes in their FIM fanfic.

      Unless its a straight-up Gluefic, any torture is best done "off-screen". Because Nothing Is Scarier.

      Mane6Death is one of the reasons I like Grimdark/Sad in the first place....OKAY GIRLS, TIME TO LOSE THAT PLOT ARMOR. Besides, watching the Mane 5 grieve is always fun. Extra points if the deceased was shipped to Rainbow Dash!

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    25. > Mane 5 grieving is fun.

      Sleep lightly, mycutiemarkisagun... Sleep lightly.

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    26. The picture was what caught my eye... assume this on my list of things to read. Will review ASAP.

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    27. Just the right mix of gritty conflict and tacking to the core methods of the show. Sure, it's been years and the Mane 6 have drifted apart, but Twilight still makes the plan and Pinkie will always be Pinkie.

      Great fic. Looking forward to the updates.

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    28. @mycutiemarkisagun

      Torture I don't mind as long as it's not overly sadistic or as "punishment". SO for instance, the chair scene from Casino Royale, I'd be OK with. The revenge scene from Law Abiding Citizen, not so much.

      Mane 6 death... I don't have an issue with in a well written and sensible way... It just kills my personal interest in the story in 90% of cases. Some exceptions would be "Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are Dead" or "Metanoia".

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    29. Anyway this story is BADASS. Excellent characterization and sensible "mature" enhancement of teh source material. It has dark and violence but in PERFECT narrative proportion and a deft touch.

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    30. Why wasn't I already reading this
      it is SO GOOD.

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    31. I think the following also applies to the current fic:

      I'm awaiting word on pinkie's teleportation, fourth wall, shapeshifting, contortionist and bard powers. And i do mean powers, just read any fanfic or watch the series over again. In war, offscreen teleportation, hammerspace, charisma (already shown), and rubber limbs, if not limited to rule of funny, are near-demigodlike powers, and would give her actual advantages as the group progresses to more powerful enemies, and even deal with current enemies such as the agents of Nightmare Sun. Antimagic stones may limit unicorns, but Pinkie needs no magic, all she needs is medium awareness and a quick peek at the author's notes to kill, maim or otherwise incapacitate the enemy.

      Fluttershy's Stare, liberated from simple emergency use by Iron will, as well as her druid abilities should be equally helpful in crowd control and summoning. Getting the help of the creatures of the Everfree, such as perhaps a Cockatrice and a Dragon, would be quite helpful in destroying or mesmerizing the Sun's armies and secret police. If Rarity still has the ability, being able to call upon Diamond Dogs to dig through solid concrete and granite in the blink of an eye would definitely help. Sound carries quickly through stone, and if they are willing their already fearsome strength would do wonders even against gun-armed ponies. You lift your gun, my brother tears you limb from limb from beneath and eats your entrails.

      That would finally allow the "useless" members of the mane six to start participating in earnest rather than being lumped into The Load, which would really disappoint me.

      Notmally i would be inclined to say Dash's sonic rainboom and rainnuke would make her op if unlocked from their place as last resorts, but as with Pimkie and Fluttershy's normally op powers, war is the great equalizer, and the enemy have already shown themselves much more capable than most give them credit, so I'd say give Dash all the advantages you can. A weaponized Buckaneer Blaze could shut down New Ponyville's electric grid long enough to Rainnuke a building or two and possibly kill a couple hundred enemy soldiers, and if timed correctly a Rainboom at low altitude could destroy half the city. Shock and Awe isn't limited to Sun powers and would go a ways in cowing the enemy.

      Twilight seems to have been nerfed to oblivion, but I would expect her to grow less merciful over time. Why levitate or coddle the enemy when you can incinerate them with a fireball or transmute their internal organs to stone? Applejack already has the right idea to kill (or maim) first and ask questions later. Spike knows this but is unwilling to use his draconic strength and fire breath to its full potential. Boil the enemy alive; antidragonfire armor does nothing against non-draconic thousand-degree steam from vaporized water. Tear their bodies into strips of flopping bloody flesh; all the armor in the world does nothing against a trillion tons of force applied over a tiny area.

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    32. FUCK.

      -me, after the first chapter of the first scene:

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    33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    34. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    35. As comments, my own description of this fic for my personal library:

      "A rather intense fix about Celestia letting the Nightmare in. Action aplenty, intrigue, and as usual Twilight is terribly OP, not that I mind. Definitely a good read, and I'm only up to chapter 5."

      Hope to see more soon ^_^

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    36. I'm sorry, I'm not in the right state of mind to offer constructive criticism. So instead you get this:

      I MUST HAVE MORE!!!

      Thank you for sharing, I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

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    37. i am enjoying this story immensely, but i feel like im missing a lot of background info, like how is shining armor dead, when did fluttershy and Macintosh ever go out, and who the heck is lord smooze? is there another story before this or what?

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    38. @omegaweapon012

      The story is more focused on characterization and immediate events than backstory and exposition. It's designed to be a fast paced tense action-adventure in the vein of "24".

      Shining Armor died a hero defending Equestria from the Smooze, who is a repurposed villain from an older MLP generation cartoon.

      Fluttershy and Mac were just mentioned to show that the characters' lives and relationships hadn't been stagnantover the 6 year time skip from the show, and to give Shield Banner a little more depth.

      Think of it like a rollercoaster ride. You don't exactly get a seminar on how it was built and the physics behind it before you get to ride.
      This is not a unique storytelling style. Several other authors tend to drop exposition for the sake of action and pacing.Bookish Delight comes to mind.

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    39. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    40. Do stories only get the 6-Star tag now if people say it should be one? Because this story absolutely should be one.

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    41. What that guy said ^

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    42. This story is amazing, definitely 6-stars

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    43. Easily 6 stars. One of the best fanfictions I've ever read

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    44. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    45. NEEDS NEEDS NEEDS a 6 star rating. Wow. I feel like a new man after reading this fimfiction. That was incredible.

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    46. This story has been finished for a couple weeks now. Is it never going to get the customary completed front-page post?

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    47. The description wasn't familiar, so I picked a chapter midway through.

      Nope, don't remember this one. Start from the beginning.

      Doing pretty good, make it to Chapter 7 and continue on...
      ...only to be stopped hard by a Google warning (I'm using Chrome):

      "Warning: Something's Not Right Here!

      www.fimfiction.net contains content from www.tws3d.com, a site known to distribute malware. Your computer might catch a virus if you visit this site.
      Google has found malicious software may be installed onto your computer if you proceed. If you've visited this site in the past or you trust this site, it's possible that it has just recently been compromised by a hacker. You should not proceed, and perhaps try again tomorrow or go somewhere else.
      We have already notified www.tws3d.com that we found malware on the site. For more about the problems found on www.tws3d.com, visit the Google safe browsing diagnostic page
      "

      At that point I notice that the links to chapters 9 and 10 are missing. I'm going to take the hint and not go any further till this is checked out. Or maybe chance the link on an Android tablet.

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    48. @RailRide

      Fixed it, it was a hotlink to a wallpaper website. I'm sticking with deviantart now!

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    49. PROBLEMS WITH THE STORY ARE RESOLVED! READ AWAY, Y'ALL!

      -Guesswork

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    50. And completed.

      I guess by now it's normal to read these things in the voices of the characters we know.

      Come the end of Chapter 15, and then:
      "A strange voice cleared its throat from the darkened far-corner of the bedchamber. "How indeed?"

      Is it saying something that after going through the entire story, I nailed the voice that spoke the above line before I even saw the sentence following it?

      ---PCJ

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    51. Another great fic I started and forgot about.....

      can't wait to pick it back up ^_^

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    52. Wow. What a wild ride it's been.

      I won't lie, this fic requires a healthy amount of suspension of disbelief. But it was very, very entertaining. Lots of suspense, twists and turns, and close calls.

      *SPOILER ALERT START*

      Yet everyone managed to feel equally useful, and brownie points for keeping (almost) everyone alive. More than once, I thought we lost someone.

      I'm not sure how to feel about the very end. What would have started the time loop in the first place? I mean, it was a HUMONGOUS gamble to start this whole mess in the first place, even if it was to get rid of the nightmare forever.

      *SPOILER ALERT END*

      All in all, a very good read. I'll be on the lookout for other fics you write. Thanks a lot for sharing!

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