• Story: New Tricks

    by
    [Grimdark] Sometimes I really hate this tag. A very UNFRIENDLY friend off entry.
    Disclaimer: Equestria Daily does not condone hate crimes of any kind against Tomboy Rainbow Pegasus' or any other pony for that matter.
    Description: Gilda does horrible things to Rainbow Dash
    New Tricks
    Monday, March 14, 2011 op
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    18 comments:

    1. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 6:09 PM

      WHY.jpg

      ReplyDelete
    2. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 6:32 PM

      So...umm, why do we have the star-rating system again? Are we judging on content or how well it's written?

      ReplyDelete
    3. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 6:33 PM

      I mean, yes, it's not like a masterpiece, but it's not super-awful

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 6:54 PM

      I didn't like it, and half the script was reused from Sonic Rainboom but...

      The writing's decent. So I can't one-star it the way I want to.

      ReplyDelete
    5. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 7:07 PM

      Writing was mediocre, but I enjoyed the content.

      ReplyDelete
    6. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 7:44 PM

      I really had trouble following this story.

      ReplyDelete
    7. PacceMarch 14, 2011 at 8:14 PM

      Messy.
      And descriptive.

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 8:21 PM

      One starred

      ReplyDelete
    9. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 8:30 PM

      Grimdark for the sake of being grimdark. No story, just "these ponies die".

      ReplyDelete
    10. DaffodilMarch 14, 2011 at 9:02 PM

      Boring, poorly written, and as the others have said, Grimdark for the sake of being Grimdark.

      When your story hinges on one line of dialogue (read: the only line of dialogue) you want to make sure that line really hits home with the audience. You want them to -feel- it. Make it good.

      Punctuation helps.

      ReplyDelete
    11. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 9:19 PM

      very lamesauce couldn't keep reading it, not enough interesting content

      ReplyDelete
    12. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 7:23 AM

      I rather grimdark ponies than lingerie ponies

      ReplyDelete
    13. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 8:28 AM

      I'm sorry but it was not very good.

      And if Gilda so carefully planned this out, why did she think she could escape while severely injured *and* carrying a body not much smaller than herself?

      I'm no writer, but maybe you should have spiced up the ending with a defiant last stand, or possibly even Gilda realizing what she had done and being crushed by regret

      ReplyDelete
    14. fagbuttsMarch 15, 2011 at 10:58 AM

      thanks for the feedback guys, and ive taken it all on board.

      In my defense, this was kind of a request someone had for something to submit, and I'm trying to make some of the things I write shorter. My usual stories are much, much longer. It was kind of a first attempt. I do have some other fics that are longer, and people have said are better, maybe I'll show them if you'd be willing to read

      ReplyDelete
    15. fagbuttsMarch 15, 2011 at 11:02 AM

      But just so I know, would you say the writing is worse, or the content?

      ReplyDelete
    16. PacceMarch 15, 2011 at 2:48 PM

      @dasalasa
      I'd say the writing was fine, it was just perhaps TOO straightforward.
      Beyond the colourful descriptions of carnage, I'd say the most interesting thing was how Gilda herself was willing to die just to hurt Dash and that she even stole her body for reasons I'd prefer not think about.

      ReplyDelete
    17. AnonymousJune 12, 2011 at 3:06 AM

      I think the first commenter summed it up nicely. WHY?

      First off, this was not that well written. It was very blunt and a little painful to read.

      Second, the subject. Just... Just why? I mean, I've read Cupcakes and Rocket to Insanity. They seeed to hold a point to them. Compared to this? Ugh....
      1 star.

      ReplyDelete
    18. Present PerfectJuly 26, 2011 at 12:59 PM

      A blandly written, entirely pointless story.

      ReplyDelete

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