• Story: Singing Under the Starry Skies

    by
    [Shipping] Another complete story upload, hopefully less..random than the last one... It involes Luna so thats almost garunteed 4+ stars if past trends are any indication.
    Description: While trying to get ideas for Bad Case of Derpes Part II, i got an entirely NEW idea. So here it is. Blues has never been the most...optimistic or helpful pony in Ponyville. After having his heart broken multiple times, you wouldnt be the happiest pony either.
    Singing Under the Starry Skies Part 1
    Singing Under the Starry Skies Part 2
    Singing Under the Starry Skies Part 3 
    Singing Under the Starry Skies Part 4
    Wednesday, March 16, 2011 op
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    42 comments:

    1. pollardyMarch 16, 2011 at 5:16 PM

      i am ok with oc shipping in certain cases, as to just avoid the storm of lesbian that forces story's to be lesbian for no other alternative~

      ReplyDelete
    2. SethistoMarch 16, 2011 at 5:19 PM

      @pollardy

      Blues is a /co/ pony bro

      It's all good!

      ReplyDelete
    3. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 6:02 PM

      Woah. This is the best shipping story by far. idk how to put it, but the immersion factor was great, and blues was so sweet.
      5/5

      ReplyDelete
    4. pollardyMarch 16, 2011 at 6:38 PM

      @Sethisto

      aye i don't hate oc's just when their done bad, this story was excellent

      ReplyDelete
    5. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 7:00 PM

      Woo! Turntable Turnabout reference!

      ~Scratch

      ReplyDelete
    6. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 7:27 PM

      That ending man.....so emotional!

      ReplyDelete
    7. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 7:31 PM

      I cried real tears. Not those fake B'awwww tears, but real tears. I played Fly me to the moon while reading the last part... and by the end of the song my cheeks were wet. Manly tears have been shed this day.

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 7:34 PM

      Wow, what is it about happy Luna stories that just makes them ridiculously good?

      I loved it!

      ReplyDelete
    9. TooneyDMarch 16, 2011 at 7:36 PM

      I realized i accidentally fucked something up in part 3.
      I copypasted something i didnt mean to (i write my stories in Word before putting them on Google Docs), so one part was repeated twice.
      fixed it though.


      Also, fun fact, i almost named Blues's dad Flank Sinatra.
      Almost.
      In retrospect, i really should have.

      ReplyDelete
    10. HiroMarch 16, 2011 at 8:01 PM

      That was incredible. Well done.

      ReplyDelete
    11. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 8:04 PM

      5 freaking stars man. that was beautiful.

      ReplyDelete
    12. TooneyDMarch 16, 2011 at 9:55 PM

      @Anonymous

      You know, actually, I never read Turntable Turnabout.
      Rainbow Dash was the first lesbian to come to mind cuz i'm uncreative like that.

      ReplyDelete
    13. CottonmouthMarch 16, 2011 at 10:23 PM

      Straight shipping? 1 fucking star.

      But seriously, it was pretty good. I don't like how much you made blues bitch at the beginning, but you managed to cease it right as I was getting worried, so good job.

      Something else I LOVED about this fic, was how you kept it realistic. Instead of the ending being "AND THEN LUNA KISSED BLUES" you had it as a simple hug, which is believable.

      The one complaint I have is Twilight. She acted unrealistic. She also 'worried' too much. Wanted to punch her.

      ReplyDelete
    14. TooneyDMarch 16, 2011 at 10:28 PM

      @Cottonmouth
      Well, with the amount of lesbian shipping there already is, ya gotta have some moderation. Hell, thats sorta my little joke in the story: seeying as how most of the fillies are lesbians, of course the colts are gunna be lonely.

      But yeah, thanks.

      Thats actually the reason i did just a hug. More realistic and such. I think it was after i read a FlutterMac ship (i forget the name of it though) in which they actually grew old together and got married. i thought that was much more powerful then just a kiss, and decided that i'de go for a more realistic rout as well.

      That was one of my problems too. I felt that i made Twilight too out of character. But, too late now, i'm too lazy to change it.

      ReplyDelete
    15. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 11:15 PM

      @TooneyD

      Oh, It's the only Vinyl Scratch fic that I've ever seen. (It also happens to be a Vinyl/Dash ship fic)

      She doesn't get the attention she deserves :\

      ~Scratch

      ReplyDelete
    16. 5t3v0March 17, 2011 at 12:25 AM

      Melting down a Sax!!! D: (Im a saxophonist btw... so I find that concept depressing... and i dont consider myself a particularly good one either!)

      -finishing story-

      ReplyDelete
    17. locojomMarch 17, 2011 at 12:31 AM

      That was beautiful I almost cry with this T.T

      ReplyDelete
    18. MuffinMarch 17, 2011 at 1:22 AM

      I loved that so much!
      I need moar Luna/Blues.
      Hell! I just need moar Luna!

      ReplyDelete
    19. 5t3v0March 17, 2011 at 1:46 AM

      -finished story-

      That was beautiful. It was humble and well paced. Poor luna though... and Poor blues too... losing a love like that... and still seeing her to taunt you for a good while... Sorta know how that feels. Though I never got as far though... and it wasnt the same sort of deal.

      ReplyDelete
    20. AnonymousMarch 17, 2011 at 3:49 AM

      This was bumped off the front page far too fast.

      Oh well.

      ReplyDelete
    21. TooneyDMarch 17, 2011 at 12:50 PM

      Actually, I was planning on making an Epilogue for this, but I got lazy. It probably wouldn't have added a whole lot anyway, but meh, at least it was something. If you really want me to write it, just ask me.

      ReplyDelete
    22. TooneyDMarch 17, 2011 at 12:54 PM

      @Anonymous
      Just read it now, and it was pretty good. I actually like punky Scratch better then my own. Mine is a bit laid-back, until she gets behind a turntable. But meh, people interpreted things differently.

      ReplyDelete
    23. AnonymousMarch 17, 2011 at 1:59 PM

      I really hope there is a sequel story to this. I'd love to know if they end up getting together. Also, I think Blues works better than Flank Sinatra, since for most of the story, he's got the blues.

      ReplyDelete
    24. TooneyDMarch 17, 2011 at 2:03 PM

      @Colton

      The only reason I wanted to do Flank Sinatra is because that was the most genius pun I've ever made, seeing as how I am terrible with puns.

      And I might actually make a epilogue or something, but probably not a full-blown sequel. I don't want to ruin it. But, if enough people ask for it, I'll might try making a sequel.

      ReplyDelete
    25. sunset spurtMarch 17, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      I absolutely loved this story.

      ReplyDelete
    26. uSeaMarch 17, 2011 at 3:29 PM

      I'm sorry to say that I didn't enjoy it. I'm happy to say that I'm in the minority.

      First I should tell you what I did like about it. I thought the Equestrian calendar being based on the princesses birthdays was a great idea. I also liked how you portrayed the colts of Equestria as forlorn in love; with the ratio of female to male at something like three or four to one, there's a good chance that the pony you like isn't even interested in your gender.

      But now on to less pleasant matters.
      A mistake in your very first sentence is jarring and makes it seem like you haven't given the story a read through.
      Ellipses are being used far, far too often; even where no punctuation was needed (like at the begining of a sentence). And where regular punctuation is needed, ellipses are being used instead. Full stop's are brave; there's no need for them to travel around in packs.
      Some paragraphs are indented while others aren't. This made it more difficult to read.

      I really disliked your characterisation of Twilight and Celestia. You've already mentioned that you felt Twilight was out of character but that's nothing compared to the colossal bitch you made Celestia out to be. Instead of making sure that Luna's birthday was celebrated properly and the old traditon reborn she's quite happy to let herself be the centre of attention and for Luna to be almost completely ignored. It just seemed utterly unthinkable.

      Which brings me to the subject of suspension of disbelief. Mine broke, I'm afraid.
      Why wasn't Twilight researching the hell out of Celestia's Day when the main celebration was being held in Ponyville? She researched slumber parties before having one.
      Why didn't she immediately contact Celestia when she heard that Luna was unhappy (or about to turn into Nightmare Moon)? It was the very first thing she did when she originally thought NNM was returning.
      Why didn't they change half the decorations so the day would celebrate both sisters? The whole town would have worked on it. If a single blues singer can apparently redecorate a house using left over bits and pieces and make it better than a weeks worth of work from the rest of Ponyville (including the professional artists, designers and decorators that must live there) then it should have been easy.
      These questions should never have occured or at least been easy to ignore. But when the suspension of disbelief is lost they just seem like plot holes.

      Sorry for the long-winded comment, but I felt you deserved a justification as to why I disliked it.

      Of course, lots of people did like it, so the story served its purpose.
      And if anything in this comment helps you improve your stories then the comment has served ITS purpose.

      ReplyDelete
    27. TooneyDMarch 17, 2011 at 4:04 PM

      @uSea

      Thanks for the critique (not being sarcastic, I really do need some help).

      This is my second fic ever, and I know I have a long way to go before I really start getting good.
      Hell, when I first submitted this, I was expecting a helluva lot more comments like yours, and I was even MORE surprised to see 5 stars.

      Anyway, for starters, the good part is that you liked what I wanted you to like, as in the loneliness of a colt. That was the main thing I was trying to point out.

      Anyway, on to my errors.

      For the indents, a weird thing about it though is I actually DID indent most of the paragraphs before I transfered it to Docs. I never noticed they hadn't transfered over as well. Weird. The ellipses I didn't even notice. I'll try to limit them from now on.

      I can see what you mean about Twilight, but Celestia never seemed to cross my mind when I first wrote it. I think it was because she never had any spoken lines that I completely forgot about her.

      And yeah, looking back on it, this story IS filled with a crapton of plotholes and things that need to be fixed. I think I just need to focus on my story more when I write. Usually my writing process includes drinking a Dr. Pepper and watching Youtube videos at the same time, so its easy for me to get distracted.

      Anyway, thanks for the critique. Thanks to your tips, hopefully my next story will be a bit better.

      ReplyDelete
    28. MuffinMarch 17, 2011 at 9:20 PM

      @TooneyD
      Please write it!!!

      ReplyDelete
    29. TooneyDMarch 18, 2011 at 12:31 AM

      @Muffin

      Meh, I'll see if a few more people want it.

      ReplyDelete
    30. Immaneuel KanterMarch 31, 2011 at 3:44 PM

      I'd like to see an epilogue. Great quick read.

      ReplyDelete
    31. ^GraffApril 10, 2011 at 8:45 PM

      That was great.
      Simply amazing.
      Luna already was my favorite but ye just concreted it.
      As I like to say, "I was already off the edge. You just made me hit the ground".

      ReplyDelete
    32. AnonymousMay 1, 2011 at 12:51 AM

      Please, dear Celestia write more.

      ReplyDelete
    33. SoundateerMay 4, 2011 at 8:56 PM

      EPILOGUE GOD FREAKIN DAMIT. PLEASE D:

      ReplyDelete
    34. AnonymousMay 5, 2011 at 7:12 PM

      No epilogue/sequel- that would rather spoil it. Like the epi in Harry Potter.
      But... MOAR!!!

      ReplyDelete
    35. AnonymousMay 25, 2011 at 12:19 PM

      I actually browsed the internet for both male and female singers that sing "fly me to the moon" I was completely DAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW! This fucking deserves a more than 6 star rating :D

      ReplyDelete
    36. La BarataMay 26, 2011 at 3:38 PM

      This site needs reaction images. There are no way that letters can convey the sheer D'AWWWWWWWWWW from this. Well, maybe with ASCII, but I suck too much to try that.

      ReplyDelete
    37. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 9:27 AM

      I agree to that term my comrade!

      ReplyDelete
    38. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 9:30 AM

      Anyways... back to the topic
      MAKE MOAR!

      ReplyDelete
    39. AnonymousJune 20, 2011 at 10:49 PM

      5/5 and a "HAWT DAYUM!!!" to go along with it.

      ~I don't always watch ponies, but when I do, it's magic.

      ReplyDelete
    40. AnonymousJuly 3, 2011 at 8:08 PM

      This is just amazing! Made me very happy ^^
      5/5 Good work :)

      ReplyDelete
    41. AnonymousJuly 14, 2011 at 11:16 PM

      That was great! I think it had the best ending ever written!

      ReplyDelete
    42. SivrilSeptember 14, 2011 at 1:34 AM

      @Anonymous Same here it worked really well together. :)

      ReplyDelete

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