• Story: Not Worth A Bit

    [Shipping][Sad]

    Author: Dsarker
    Description: Octavia has a side to her that most don't see. In what may be her last
    note, she reveals the other side to life as a cellist.
    Not Worth A Bit

    Additional Tags: One shot, Octablood, Heartwarming, The End, Blueblood Apologetics

    39 comments:

    1. Octablood? Octavia and Blueblood? Interesting.

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    2. Sad... Shipping... Blueblood Apologetics?

      In the words of the venerable Ghandi; "DAFUQ?!"

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    3. Oh that was sad... but nice as well. I liked it. It was happy in the end at least, in a strange way. Hopeful at least.

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    4. y u no give moar!? keep writing stuff like this!

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    5. Oh God, somebody give Pinkie a call. I've got to make an emergency trip.

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    6. Wait....What is this I don't even

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    7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    8. Oh boy...

      Let's start with the constant repetition of the phrase "not worth a bit." By my count, you use it (or some variation, like "isn't worth a bit" eleven times in the first two pages. I understand that you're trying to establish a motif here, but seeing the phrase repeated almost every paragraph is just jarring and distracting.

      After reading, I skimmed through the story a second time to see if I could make sense of Blueblood and Octavia's interaction. I still can't. First, let's start with Octavia. She loves him because he likes his music no matter how terribly she plays? Unless I'm missing something, that's both really shallow of her, and REALLY easy for any musician to obtain--lots of folks will tell you how much they love your music, no matter how awful you are. And just like Octavia, I still have no idea why his heart hardened other than "because otherwise the story would be too happy." There's nothing wrong with leaving some spaces for the reader to fill in, but a 180-degree character shift ought to be accompanied by SOME explanation.

      Also, giving Octavia leprosy (a wasting disease that destroys the nerves, starting at the extremities? I know of only one) seemed a bizarre choice to me. Because of all the historical associations attached to the disease, it becomes far more distracting than having her succumb to TB or unnamed illness #234 or whatever. A small point, as such things go, but extremely distracting.

      On the plus side, the grammar/sp was mostly correct. And the pairing/storyline was original, which is always a good thing. But overall, there are some major issues with this piece which I couldn't overcome.

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    9. Ehh... I dunno. The concept itself seemed a bit trite, like it was recycled from some romance novel or something, but I do admire the attempt to use it try to justify Blueblood's actions at the Gala. The writing was okay, but there were some points where I really couldn't quite figure out what was going on, and still haven't. Why did her cello break? Why did that simple little thing send Blueblood into a spiral of depression and douchebaggery? I dunno. I ended up just glossing over it and labeling it as symbolic, or something.

      I gave three stars, but if possible I'd give it more like 3.5 or so. Not bad, but it just didn't work for me.

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    10. thats nothing read the price you pay, it literally made me walk away from my computer just so i coud go visit my grandmother it has captured my heart like no other fic has, it honestly could be a episode all in itself

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    11. I like it quite a bit; while it suffers from some reasonable repetition issues, it is trying to push a point home, and I think that the world-building in this fic perfectly reflects what it is trying to say, so I believe it's pretty good. It's very stylistically different, which is my only worry in it's reception.

      And it's not being received well. It happens I suppose.

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    12. I'm trying to figure out why musicians in Equestria apparently have it so HORRIFICALLY bad here. I mean, seriously? This is just... somewhat contrived, here.

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    13. @RK_Striker_JK_5 was it overdramatized? certainly. contrived? absolutely. any less a good tale for those facts? certainly not.

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    14. @Steel Resolve Actually, yes. Those things did make for a less effective story. This is something the reader was meant to take seriously, and to make them feel some real, powerful emotions. Overdrama and contrived plot points pull you out of that emotional investment, because it seems far less real and thus much harder to suspend your disbelief.

      That said, the point about classical musicians and such having it rough is actually very on-the-nose, here. My sister works in theatre, and apparently unless you're the lead part of a big band, you're nobody. And even if you are important, classical musicians still struggle quite a bit unless they're in one of the really important, world-renowned orchestras. The scenario described for Octavia wasn't one of those world renowned ones - she was described more as a poor, sort of Bohemian artist, which means her hard times were perfectly justified.

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    15. A very entranceing story and an odd spin. author you definatley have talent and i look forward to seeing more. my only complaint if you could call it that was the brevity. other than that fantastic work

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    16. @NinesTempest:
      It's got a shipping tag, what do you expect anymore?

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    17. @Steel Resolve

      Basically, what Xort said. It took me out of the story and took away most of the enjoyment I might've had from it.

      @Xort
      Hmm, okay. Fair enough on that. Although this is Equestria. ;) I have a somewhat harder time seeing that there, bur again it's a good and fair point.

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    18. @Present Perfect

      It's not getting a lukewarm reception because it's shipping. It's getting it because it's mediocre. Not bad, but there's lots of room for improvement.

      I personally want to see more from this author, because I think in time s/he will get much better and I love seeing that, but as of right now this story is getting the reception it's earned.

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    19. such a heartfelt and sad story. I shed many tears

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    20. Oh boy... another story... and this one looks to be a sad darker one. I wonder what they mean by "other side to being a cellist". I wonder if they're talking about the struggles musicians have in the job market, or how hard it can be to play in an orchestra, etc. Or if they even have any clue what-so-ever to those types of things. lol

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    21. Really, really good. Tears were shed.

      *SPOILER ALERT*

      Ok, did anypony else think that the part with Blueblood carrying Tavi's body and falling three times and Celestia helping him carry her sound a lot like the crucifixion of Jesus? I'm not saying it's bad or anything. Just curious.

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    22. This is good. Real good. The reason why stories are made, are because of the exceptional and not the mudane cycles of life. I enjoy the reading you made. It is lovely to see a slice of life of somepony's hardships written in an emotional way with the love of an elite to the finer tastes of life.

      If anything, this is a good story. The plot is simple, enjoyable and understandable. You made sadness bearable to read instead of what majority sad love stories pitch out. This is what made this piece of fiction more than intresting to read as it skewed from the norms of sad romance. Kudos to you and keep up this piece of modified originality you have made. This is what sets the intresting appart from the norm.

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    23. @Melodia If this is dumb,why did EQD decided to put it up? Seriously, don't be dumb yourself by not giving a good reason why it is dumb to dumb down a story which may not be dumb because it questions the judgement of the pre- readers of EQD that this story may not be dumb as you thought it might be dumb.

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    24. @Xort

      Drama: Doctor, my sister has cancer...

      Brevity: ZOMBIE CANCER!! :D

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    25. I really liked it, ive only read the infamous fanfics like Rainbow factory (currently my fav 'grimdark' fan fic, also, just became a brony, sorry if i used grimdark out of context) but this, this was great, i even recorded myself reading it out loud, this was moving, it is now, even more convincing that i am a brony, for i have enjoyed this fanfic so much! Thank you, and you are even more than a bit.

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    26. ....hasn't this been completely disproven by her appearance in Sweet & Elite?

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    27. @Locria
      It's strongly implied that Octavia's 'final performance' is the one in Sweet and Elite.

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    28. I had mixed feelings about this story. I really liked that it took into account the difficulties that classical musicians face, and worked that into Octavia's character. But the initial plot about her being poor and feeling unworthy seems to get discarded halfway through just to have her get sick and die. I'm not saying that illness is a cheap thing to write about, or that killing off a character is always cheap. But it feels somewhat like a cop-out here. It just sort of happens- and it feels like a way to get out of dealing with the problems in Octavia's life.

      I also really enjoy Octavia's voice here. You can tell that she's very refined, yet downtrodden in a way that only comes from constant hardship. The repetition is a little much, though. It's great as a thread that holds the story together, but it feels a little overdone. Using it a little more sparingly wouldn't hurt the intended point.

      It was interesting to see Blueblood's behavior at the Gala in this light, too. I think it's not that hard to believe him as not a bad pony, just getting over a crush and behaving kind of stupidly as a result. But I feel the story is worse off for not really having a reason why it didn't work out. There's just a broken cello, and then he eventually stops coming. There's a lot to work with in what you've set up! There's a huge class difference between Blueblood and Octavia. Maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with the reality that he can replace the things he breaks, but if her cello's broken she's done? Maybe she can't think someone who has everything would really be serious about her? And on top of that, she doesn't think she's worth much, which can really mess up a relationship too... There's the implication that some of these things are going on, but it doesn't feel quite right the way it's written. It just doesn't feel that plausible that Blueblood wouldn't be able to be forward enough to talk to her about it, yet at the same time would be totally comfortable being such a jerk to Rarity. I think maybe an actual breakup or fight would have had a better effect.

      Problems aside, though, I enjoyed this story. I hope you continue to write pony fic, and I'd love to see some of your other stories in the future.

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    29. @Aquamarine

      Well, it's mainly that the whole sudden 'tragic illness after miserable life' angle has been done to death is soap operas since the 1960's. It's become a too cliche for my tastes. If it's to be introduced in a story, it actually works most effectively when everything appears to be going well for the character. It was done VERY effectively in "Beaches" and "Forest Gump", but there you had a long story to build up the characters and make the audience want them to have a happy ending. Then you kill them and watch the waterworks, laughing diabolically as you feed upon their sorrow and grow more powerful! MUWAH HA HA HA HA!!

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    30. I don't know what I was expecting when I started reading this story, but I was left unsatisfied. Octavia had a very harsh life, got her heart broken, and then suffered from an incurable deathly. Honestly I couldn't feel back for Octavia, from beginning to end I alternated from feeling sorry for me to pitying her.

      All-in-all, too many negative emotions

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    31. @Alondro: Yeah, that's it. I guess it's that I've read stories where characters had terminal illnesses, but most of those stories focused on the illnesses, and didn't tack them on at the end.

      I think the way you're talking about would have worked well for this story- if Octavia had broken out of her depression and started a happy life with Blueblood, and THEN got sick.

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    32. @Aquamarine
      I think that writing style, "it all sort of happened" is meant to convey what dead Octavia remembers being alive as being like - life all sort of happened, and then it stopped.

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