Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Story: Adventures in Cake Making


[Adventure][Comedy] This is the first time these tags have ever come together. A groundbreaking achievement if I do say so myself!


Author: Foxxy
Description: Winning the title of Fillydelphia Baking Queen is never easy.
Adventures in Cake Making

Additional Tags: Carrot Top is easily distracted

30 comments:

fieryShaman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fieryShaman said...

No comments yet? I cannot let this crime against authors stand!

Loved the story. I was wondering if you would be able to explain the fridge rocketing away, and I was not disappointed. I really enjoyed the final scene, I hope she'll shell out to buy a new fridge for Carrot Top as well!

The Dread Pirate Roberts said...

Poor Derpy Hooves. I'm sure in spite of her appearance, she's actually quite erudite and well-spoken. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

we need moar carrot and derpy

Anonymous said...

The world needs more Carrot Top stories.

Interrobang Pie said...

Ahahah, this one's good.

ZettaLux said...

Derpy saves the day by using her Derp powers.

Anonymous said...

For real.

I don't ship Carrot and Derpy, or very much at all for that matter, but we seriously need more Carrot Top and Derpy stories, especially if they're along the lines of Elosande's work. Celestia, I love these two, I really do.

Anonymous said...

I have no words for this awesome piece of fiction here. xD

Fallin' Winter said...

If there's one thing this community is good at, it's making every single one of those background ponies amazing. Before, I never once thought about Octavia, or Spitfire, or Carrot Top. Now they have awesome stories and I LOVE it.

As for this story itself, it was so light hearted and fun that I was definitely an amazing read. I kind of want more adventures with the two of them now...

Anonymous said...

Wow, when I began reading this fic I was expecting a some sort of slapstick comedy writting, although instead I get a very entertainning and interesting story developing a lot this background ponies, I must agree with other bronies here, there is a need... no a DEMAND! of more Carrot and Derpy stories, this duo deserves more attention and of course the ending just wraps up what one could suspect but never really thought could be the final cause, to the author my congratulations and my thanks for a good read.

-Dascuro

Anonymous said...

This was a really lighthearted, funny read, despite maybe a few instances where the pacing was a bit off. But it's a very a+ story. Well done, Foxxy.

Anonymous said...

A+

One of the best fanfics I've read in a long while! Good job!

The only thing I have a wee bit to complain about it what kind of decent gangster gets shnokered in a public place with police ponies around, but other than that eensy plot-hole it's a nigh-perfect story! Great work!

Derptastic said...

I really enjoyed this! A neat read :) Keep up the good worALL HAIL DERPY

Anonymous said...

5 stars is too few for this story. more, please!

Supersheep64 said...

Oh my.
I've seen fan fictions that made me laugh, ones that made me cry, ones that shocked me or made my sick inside. But this is the first time one has made me feel genuinely afraid.

Remind me NEVER to cross Derpy Hooves as long as I live.
D:

Great fic though.

Blackberry said...

Haha, I see what you did there, Supersheep64. CROSS DERPY. Don't cross Derpy or she'll cross you!

I liked this fic. It was very cute and well-written. [Hooray for paragraphs and properly-used quotation marks!]

The last scene about the fridge confused me a little, though. Celestia, basically Goddess of Equestria, had to STEAL a fridge from one of her subjects as a gift to her kid sister? Really? Trollestia, INDEED.

catherine-puce said...

@Blackberry

A fridge and a cake. Don't forget the cake it is really important. Carrot Top would have be okay if the cake didn't disapear with the fridge. And Applejack won this year again, Carrot top will cry her eye out.

Yaro Kasear said...

I love Derpy and Carrot stuff. I've always liked the nuances of Carrot being a bit high-strung and Derpy playing off that.

I knew I hit a real gem of a story with the line "she decided straight away that the situation demanded a finesse with as little dignity as possible."

MasterofRoku said...

Loved the story. I did feel a little sorry for Carrot not being able to make it to the competition and her fridge being stolen by Celestia. But the ending with the sisters was heart-warming.

@Blackberry

It's the odd ponies you have to watch out for.

A Terrible Person said...

Enjoyable, but I think stealing a fridge from a random subject does take Trollestia a little too far. Nevertheless, quite a good read.

Nova25 said...

>Aquafresh

-Aquafresh ? ...who the heck is 'Aquafresh'' ?
...wait a minute ? ...How in Equestria did the author thought that COLGATE's name was ''Aquafresh'' ??

Foxxy said...

@Nova25

In case you're wondering, I had both "Colgate" and "Ramona" in previous drafts, but neither of them quite fit the meter of the paragraph they appeared in. So I went with "Aquafresh", not only because it's a two part name that sounds more like one a pony in the show could actually have (Apple Jack / Aqua Fresh), but unfortunately the phrase 'Colgate' in the context of the paragraph was causing massive mental derailments because it just didn't fit. I tried and tried, but I simply thought the name was cute and it was better than leaving in a word that made the paragraph difficult to read.

And for those of you wondering why Celestia stole Carrot Top's fridge, the answer is yet again more mechanical writing stuff, but it simply comes down to the fact that it was the funniest, most absurd thing I could come up with to explain what I had initially written to be unexplainable. It's the "topper" - the final gag to go out on in what is, verse and drama aside, a story structured on the most intentionally outrageous stuff I could think of. Or, to put it simply: it's just another joke. :)

I tried my best to have the story not end just on *TROLLESTIA LOL* so I added plenty of cuteness and some very tight, refined prose that I'm rather proud of, but it is what it is. :)

Nova25 said...

@Foxxy
The part with the Fridge, at the end, was quite 'adorable' indeed. ;) (Luna loves purple (and stickers) ! Everyone pass the word ! :D)

But, Colgate is kinda her official name now (even though 'Romana' was used 2 or 3 times in the -past-)...
After all, it is associated with the *Brushie-Brushie-Brushie* :D (and plenty of stories, by now)
http://www.deviantart.com/download/209947199/brushie_brushie_brushi_by_kyojiogami-d3gzwan.png

Wierdplatformer said...

I did enjoy this story, but it seemed to drop the subject a bit too much. I think some things needed to be elaborated on. Not to mention, Rainbow Dash doesn't live in Cloudsdale and the PinkieDash reference was unneccessary. But I have to give you congrats on Carrot Top and Derpy's personality.

The Ferret said...

@Anonymous

You'd be amazed how many stupid crooks get schnockered where they ought ta know better ^^

Very awesome story, more platonic stories needed!

Sebiale said...

I liked it save for the ending.
It was cute, but it was tainted because you know, Celestia is a criminal now. What she couldn't go BUY a purple fridge? Or even just ask permission?

Texas Almkrona said...

Bad. Ass. Derpy POWER! This is the best one-of-a-kind fanfics I've ever read! Though I am a little against the whole Derpy-is-stupid/retared thing, you portrayed her BRILLIANT in this story! Hats of to you miss/mister. A stellar story!

Roxor said...

Wow. This is the kind of characterisation of Derpy I like. Hell, this story pretty-much makes her the hero of another show we never see.

Five stars.

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