Fluttershy: Origins
Pinkie Pie: Schism
Author: SaddlesoapOpera
Description: Fluttershy tries to help Rainbow Dash relax, but things soon get complicated. A Pony Psychology Series story - previous episodes include Fluttershy: Origins, and Pinkie Pie: Schism.Rainbow Dash: Dependence
Additional Tags: Psychological, Emotional, Addiction, FlutterDash, Long
53 comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOH... My... Luna....
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful, and so emotional. and ....
HNNNNNNNNNGGGGg.....
10/5 stars
Lol... Applejack at the end. And dash beating up Derpy... It was okay, but I don't think it was your best.
ReplyDeleteMother of god this is getting intense.
ReplyDelete5/5
Wait, I smell shipping? This doesn't have . . . IT DOES! Why did I not read the tags?! Why could I not stay away from the shipping? And why is this so good? Though that whole Black Magic thing is . . . a bit much.
ReplyDeleteWell after re reading that for the umpteenth time,
ReplyDeleteI am quivering, Fluttershy felt a bit... off... at the beginning but felt like herself again by the end of the story.
And the small hint at the next installment of the series is beautiful, so painful, so angry, so emotional.
One thing that irks me though...
Many writers seem to insist upon Rainbow Dash living in Cloudsdale, though it is where they are raised the show has proven that Dash has a cloudhouse built on the outskirts of Ponyville.
@ZAquanimus
ReplyDeleteOh...? I may have to tweak that slightly. I usually pride myself on staying accurate. You you remember which episode(s) show that?
(also, thanks for the praise!)
too busy being read. looks good. Dang nabbit.
ReplyDeleteCRAAAWWLLLING IN MY SKIIINNNNNN
ReplyDeleteYet again I am reading shipping even though I promised myself I wouldn't...
ReplyDelete...and man, that ending makes me think that this will NOT end well. ._.
WOAH! that was awesome!
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed it. Going to have to read your other ones now!
ReplyDelete@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteJust watch all the episodes again. You know you want to.
Ooh, this is good...
ReplyDeleteWell-written psychological-type stories like this are very exciting! The titles of each story also do a great job of slightly foreshadowing each pony's "inner demons".
Eagerly awaiting the next installment!
@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteDash's Cloudhouse appears in Griffon the Brush-off and again in Dragonshy.
@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteIn 'Griffon the Brush Off', right after the pranks on all the other ponies, Pinkie walks to Dash's house. Ponyville is shown in the background
You all forget "Party of one" Where Pinkie visits Dash's home on a balloon
ReplyDeleteGreat story!
ReplyDeleteI want Skittles so badly right now...
RD's house is on the outskirts of Ponyville, not in Cloudsdale. Even if it was, it wouldn't make sense for her to be employed in a different city.
ReplyDeleteThat said, besides FS being creepy for her first interaction with RD, everything was done perfectly.
Didn't know this was shipping...
ReplyDelete@NinesTempest
ReplyDeleteTotally isn't in the genre at the start of the post, nope.
This was actually surprisingly incredible.
ReplyDeleteFive stars from me, and an emphatic plea for MOAR.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI think you mean mother of celestia...
and yes, this is getting REALLY intense...
HNGGGGGG Fluttershy is so cute and as a nurse it's not at all surprising that she's got such a sensual side...~ loved this and the last two stories. Can't wait for moar.
ReplyDeleteMother issues, manic depression, drug addiction...it just keeps getting more and more intense and dramatic. At this rate, one of the remaining three will probably end up on some sociopathic killing spree...yikes.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an engaging series, even if I don't necessarily agree with the direction it's starting to take. I'll eagerly await the next installment!
Hrm...on inspection of the episodes in question, I'm not so sure about Dash's home. Party of One shows columns in the wide-shot's foreground, suggesting other cloudhomes are in the area.
ReplyDeleteSonic Rainboom and Griffon the Brushoff both show winding dirt roads and open country beneath Cloudsdale and Dash's home, respectively.
I think maybe Dash lives on "the edge of Cloudsdale" the way Fluttershy lives on "the edge of Ponyville," and Cloudsdale ITSELF is fairly close to Ponyville...horizontally, anyway.
...Unless this whole line of thought was a trick to get me watching a whole bunch of episodes again. CURSE YOU, TROLLESTIA!
As for 'working in a different town,' in the story Dash is only shown *competing* in Cloudsdale, and working on a special project for P.C. that required MANY Pegasi to drop what they normally do.
Anyhoo, many thanks for everyone's wonderful praise, for reading closely enough to make comments like these, and for being so nice about it! Best. Fandom. Evar.
Oh god this was just so D'awwwww.
ReplyDeleteThe sad tag almost scared me away, but I gave it a chance, and I'm SO GLAD I did.
Also 'dat ending.
I like where this series is going
ReplyDeleteI love this series so far, ill admit . . . manly tears cam from alot of the different fanfics i have read. While they all seem to give us a slight insight into their personalities while crafting a story thats either epic or just one shot. I loved them all soo far. These on the other hand . . . . . Are an absolute fav so far. Im not into the whole shipping thing . . . not that im not curious about the ships. I . . well . . uhh . . . its hard to explain LOL . . . But these stories, they not only add to the personalities we have been delightfully introduced to. No they dont just add, but delve into them. We all knew pinkie had some issues mentally . . . . anyone that happy, its a given. But being self destructive, the possiblities are endless. While these may not be accountable for true/official personalities ( like all the other fics ) they seem to be the most in depth. Im enjoying these terribly an CANNOT wait for future installments. I certainly gained alot more respect for pinkie and her "smile an party" attitude. While dependance struck me the hardest . . . i am totaly excited to read more, and appreciate this incite into one of the many possible facets of our little pony friends n.n
ReplyDeleteJust read all of them in order...utterly fantastic, really. Fluttershy's was WAY too well done, heh, but I don't really feel Pinkie's had that much meaning other than "I feel sad sometimes." Maybe I missed something there, I dunno. No real nitpicks on Rainbow's.
ReplyDeleteKeep the the awesome! Personally I feel these fit the characters' personalities extremely well.
Ugu... Must restrain... manly tears...
ReplyDeleteJust a nitpick, though. Twilight seems to be used as a sort of Deus ex Machina here. She finds that Dash had just raided her library to look up a certain plant, but how would she figure out Fluttershy had anything to do with it? Not enough information is being given to either the reader or Twilight. Further along, she mentions she knows black magic. NOWAITWHATWHENDIDTHATHAPPEN That was seriously my reaction. Yes, I can easily see her sneaking into some restricted section equivalent back at Canterlot in the name of learning, but my issue is with how she reveals it. It would've been much more believable if she had been more hesitant about it, as if she were, you know, ashamed of knowing it, and not mentioning the black magic detail until after some... persistent urging on Fluttershy's part.
Criticism aside, I enjoyed this as well as the previous two chapters, and am looking forward to more.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteOkay...that's a fair cop, actually.
When you're right you're right, Aponymous.
Twilight has been re-edited slightly to explain her knowledge of Neigh-cromancy ( : P ) and to be more reluctant to use it.
She is just *such* a tempting source of quick problem solving...
THANK YOU! lol now i have the perfect excuse to re-read this one :D
ReplyDeleteIts been a real pain tho . . . . I have a major issue now . . . everytime i look at the ponies so far that have been delved into . . . i just cant seem to remove these notions . . . . But i also sorta like it, makes them more lovable now. They dont seem sooo average. Especially after reading schism . . . . and then watching party for one O.o Totally makes Pinkamene totaly strong willed to front up the face she does all the time . . . even when she isnt as happy as she leads on. Its especially cool thinking about Twi ddawdling in the black arts. I would not have thought about her doing that lol . . . thy my Bronysona had an accident dawdling in the black arts, its not something i would think a mane cast member to do. Its actually a really awesome touch, i hope Twi's story has a little history on that myself.
@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteThat edit MUCH improved the ending of the story. Nice job!
To the author, remember including that FlutterShy also makes money from Egg sale from her farm. Also shes like the Vet of the town and helps groming other pony pets.
ReplyDeleteThis with the corretion of Dash living in Cloudsdale.
Greets.
Heart-wrenching and soul-destroying, love it. 5/5
ReplyDeleteI've been enjoying this series straight through. The use of description is decent, often "showing" the reader without "telling". But I cringe every time the author throws an italicized adjective at us. "it was just wonderful" or anything like it should not appear in any narration, period. We get that instead through descriptions of the pony's rapture, such that the adjective not only violates writing conventions, but does so redundantly.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, those flaws are minor annoyances, easily fixed, and do not detract majorly from what is an enjoyable psychological study of our pony friends. Rainbow dash having an addictive personality hits the nail on the head, imo, as well as the multiple examples of her own state of denial, which we see in her internal monologues.
Looking forward to Applejack edition!
@Anonymous
ReplyDeletePinky's story is more than just, "I feel sad sometimes." It's, "I want everypony to like me, but I don't think they'll like the real me." So she created a facade to mask her depressing nature, but by doing so she put a lid on her real emotions since everypony now thinks of her as this party animal instead of her true self, so she keeps that side of herself away from everypony. After years and years of doing this every self-destructive thought, every insult, and every personal failure just sets off her "True" side and she ends up hating herself for it. I kinda suffer from this "Psychosis" as well... >.>
As someone who does not read many books it has been a long time since I was so personally moved by written word. Bravo and 5/5!
ReplyDeleteBTW, reading this while listening to http://youtu.be/12Nky9lo8Nc is almost too much but I would suggest it to anypony.
I really, really thought this was brilliantly written. Well done!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't read like a shippping fic, which in fairness to you I think it isn't really - the flutterdash element of it serves to heighten emotions without being yet ANOTHER shippy fic (I like ships, but they get so repetitive!). The flutterjack tensions are well portrayed without overstepping into a clopfic (which it's miles away from of course). This is the only flutterjack I've ever enjoyed! I thought the written language was gorgeous, and I'd happily read a published book of it.
I also like how you tackle the issue of drugs - but in a way that really works in Equestria. I can quite imagine if MLP:FiM went totally mad for season 2, they could definitely take that as an episode for teaching girls about drugs (but they wouldn't, and rightly so). You portray the dangers of addiction without a whole load of crap that most drug-related stories seem to insist on ... it was really, really well tackled.
I've read it twice now and I don't get past the first few paragraphs of most fics. I thought this was really really good. I know that it's part of a series, but this one particularly stood out for me.
Oh hell, of course I meant flutterdash in my comment above.
ReplyDeleteI have avoided all shipping fics... but I think I may have just been convinced not to.
ReplyDeleteSo "buck" is the new "frak"?
ReplyDelete@JaxsonJaguar
ReplyDeleteYeah, pretty much. No matter the traumatic things I have these Ponies do, I just can't imagine them swearing like we do.
That said, some emotionally-charged scenes call for salty language - and the rest is buckin' history.
This was fantastic. SaddlesoapOpera, your stories move me. I think I'll read anything from you now.
ReplyDelete@Kujiiro
ReplyDeleteAwright! Time for GRIMDARK!
: P
Seriously, though - you are too kind!
All of you are!
Ponies truly are a breed apart.
"Page does not exist" Needs reupload
ReplyDeleteSo I have noticed.
ReplyDeleteAxing these ones, and replacing with FF.net links within the next couple of days.
Thanks for your patience, everypony.
Patience no longer required!
ReplyDeleteAll six are up and their links are accurate.
WOOO!
You know, I usually stay clear of shipping stories but your style of writing made the experience believable and entertaining. (Without totally raping my vanilla ponies).
ReplyDeleteI read the series out of order with Spellbound being the first. An action that made the saga more enjoyable because I had wads of fun piecing everything together as I pressed on.
The way you encapsulate the pony's personality is brilliant, spot-on and believable. However, it shows in your writing that Twilight is given presidential treatment in many scenarios.
That's just a personal nit-pick though. The way you write is simply amazing and I hope you continue doing so in the future.
Thanks again for writing such fantastic pieces, you talented brony you.
Cheers mate.
This was outstanding!
ReplyDeleteAmazing. 5/5
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely great 5/5.
ReplyDelete