• Story: The Light Never Goes Out (Update Story 2!)

    [Normal][Shipping][Sad]

    Author: BrianBlessedPony
    Description: Equestria prepares to celebrate a great event, but for six certain ponies, this event means much more to them
    The Light Never Goes Out

    Additional Tags: Future, Loss, Acceptance, Minor OC

    [Sad] Story 2 (New!)

    Author: BrianBlessedPony
    Description: We all lose someone or something close to us in our lives. It's how we remember them that counts.
    The Candle That Burns Twice as Bright

    Additional Tags: Sad, Sacrifice, Rememberance, Closure, Death

    81 comments:

    1. This is kinda sad...
      How did Spike perish?

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    2. Needs another proofreading runthrough. It's a nice story, but the constant grammatical mistakes pulled me out of it too much for me to become terribly attached.

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    3. The style improved as the story progressed. The beginning was mostly "She did this" and "She did this."
      Overall, I gave it a 4 star. Good work!

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    4. Inb4 thirst.


      Epic story.
      I love it :D

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    5. Indeed, it's interesting to think about what could happen over such a long period of time.
      More sad than shipping, tough. Tags would need levels.

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    6. Valmir_R0yalGuArdJuly 12, 2011 at 11:36 AM

      how sad.... Why do I enjoy listening to saddening music while reading these?

      Its very well written and has a great plotline. At least each one has lived a happy life as best as they could, but maybe now they can come back together and be a group of six friends, minus spike. I cried when i read about spike.

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    7. This is the fandom that really made me realize how horrible immortality could be.

      Still, excellent story.

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    8. Anon2: I'll let you decide. I know how he died, and I don't think I ever really want to write it.

      B.: Well, thank you anyway. THought I'd read it through enough. And it had plenty of reviewers in the end. Ah well.

      Narwhal: Thank you, I think I slowly got into my stride with this, I hope it carries on! ^^;

      Flatterscheu: Thank you!

      Anon3: Thank you! Yeah, they would sadly. But I'm preparing myself for future plans ;)

      Valmir: Thank you. Yeah, I know, Spike was hard for me to write about. It's why I'll never write HOW he died...

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    9. I really wanna see more from this time line. Its such a cool take on the six elements of harmony. I hate how they aren't mentioned again in the show. I've thought a lot about what being an element of harmony meant and I think this story really shows a cool take. I mean if they had power to purge Nightmare Moon it would make sense its not the only power they had.

      More please.....

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    10. This was a good story. The parts where they each remember the past is what makes this deserve the Sad Tag it has.

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    11. I love this. It is a bid sad at times, but the overall tone is quite happy.

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    12. Aw man I was hoping for a mention of Trixie somewhere in Twilight's story

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    13. If the writer would decide to continue this, there'd be a lot to explore both in the past and the present as the important memorials "catch up" to the current day. That'd be also a lot of work, though.

      On the less serious side, I liked the touch with Dash. It somehow managed to show that there are still things that can possibly happen even in the story's present.

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    14. I like stories where Twilight isn't the only immortal one. Kinda like, no matter what happens, at least they have eachother.

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    15. SMITHS REFERENCE ^3^

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    16. Need more fics like this...

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    17. Very nice story. I've often thought of the consequences of immortality, and you captured the loss and sorrow of watching your loved ones pass very well. The girls are lucky that all of them are immortal, or the ones that were would've answered Luna's question differently after watching their best friends die.

      Also that [Sad] tag should be in the forefront instead of [Shipping].

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    18. Okay, can someone please explain to me what the event at the end is? The celebration not the magic thingy.

      I don't know why but these types of fics alwys confuse me. Too much ambiguity.

      I think it's a wedding they mentioned? But then it said that the last one was 50 years ago? I have no idea. Other than that I enjoyed it, so I'd appreciate some enlightenment.

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    19. finally i read a fanfic where the mane6 are also immortal, in all the fucs ive read that take place in the future it always says the mane6 passed away and never explain wgat happens to the elements

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    20. Pen Stroke: Thank you. I;ve hated immortality stories a lot longer then this community ;)

      Shaun: I have more planned, trust me!

      Annon4/5: Thanks!

      Annon6: Maybe one day!

      Annon7: I got plans, dont worry!

      Annon8: Same here!

      Annon9: Point it out, I must have done it by accident! And whats Smiths?

      Annon10: Hope I start a trend then!

      Fenix: Thank you. As said, I hope to do some more on this line, different ideas, hopefully more happy ones, and a major arc!

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    21. Annon11: Its the Summer Sun Celebration, like the pilot. It's 50 years since the last one involving the Princess' and The Elements of Harmony (They do it once every 50 years)
      But thank you anyway!

      Gypsy: Thanks, I also wanted one involving more of the mane 6. And if you want something done ;)

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    22. @BrianBlessedPony

      The Smiths, an english band from the 80's, the song you referenced was 'There is a light that never goes out'

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    23. @Annon: ...Holy Crud. I didn't notice that. I never heard of that song, and I am English! I just came up with a title!

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    24. This was a great story. Brought a tear or two to my eyes. Thinking about outliving everyone you'd ever known tends to do that. Really liked this though.

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    25. @LoganBrony: Thanks you! :)

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    26. Hmm.
      I liked this premise. It's a first (for me, anyway) to think of the Mane 6 as immortal due to them bearing the Elements, so it is very interesting to see it take form.
      However, I feel as though the story seemed a little rushed, without taking a moment or two to further the text other than "She did this" and "Then she did that". I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I couldn't percieve it all in my mind as well as I wanted to.
      But I did like this, it's certainly a setting that deserves some thought.

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    27. I liked this. Quite sad in places as the problems with immortality were examined in earnest, but not crushingly so like so many other of the "curse of immortality" stories are (and I think that is because of them all being together rather than just Twilight, as is usually the case); and taken as a whole the tone is actually pretty upbeat, so to speak.

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    28. BrianBlessedPonyJuly 12, 2011 at 1:10 PM

      @mykowskis: well, thank you :) I'll hopefully improve for my next story!

      @TenchiFreak5: THis is just one aspect of immortality I'm covering. I have another one in mind, a sequel to this and a longer arc to cover it. But thank you! :D

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    29. BrianBlessedPonyJuly 12, 2011 at 1:15 PM

      @SomeGuy: Thank you!

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    30. @BrianBlessedPony

      No worries! And i'll be sure to keep a lookout for it :D

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    31. Okey Dokey LokeyJuly 12, 2011 at 2:19 PM

      Good to see its finally up :D

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    32. What a touching / sad story. A perfect mix of happiness and sadness.

      Yes immortality would suck, seeing many of the people you love and care about pass away over the years, but the mane six have and princesses have each other to keep themselves happy, as well as knowing that by existing that they make Equestria is a better place.

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    33. Been done of course. Quite a few times. But, for what it was, not bad. Bit of a shame you decided to kill of Spike, seeing as besides Luna and Celestia he'd be the one character still alive. But of course that's your choice. I suppose you figured Twilight needed to have suffered a big loss too.

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    34. This was a fantastic fanfic. I've been hoping for a good story dealing with immortality of the mane 6 ever since the idea was mentioned in earlier fanfics. This was that story. I love how it illustrates the respective losses that each character has had to go through. And the ending...It was a superb finish.
      Some people judge a fanfic based on grammatical errors and the like. I find these to be secondary though. I judge a story on concept, exposition, and ability to make one feel emotion. Based solely on those, this was a 5-star fanfic. Fantastic job, and I hope to see more of your stuff here.

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    35. Wonderful story, but something in the comments is bugging me.

      How can someone claiming to be Brian BlessedPony not be typing ENTIRELY IN ALLCAPS?

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    36. @Sun Ray: Thank you! I wanted that to be the tunnel at the end of the light. Or the other way round. :P

      @Baree: Darn it. You're on to me. Yes, Spike's death was the 2nd to last one I came up with. But in my mind, it is the most epic. Death of a titan is the only way to go out. And can you link me to another story of the mane 6 being constantly immortal, ignoring Circle of Friends?

      @TwinkiePinkie: Thank you so much :) I'm not much of an artist or a writer, I'm an idea man. And I have a lot more to come.

      @Nutjob: Thanks! And simple. Brian Blessed does actually speak normally you know :P And I don't want to be banned/IP blocked/Banished to the moon...

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    37. Why do I always decide to listen to Wore Out The Soles of My Party Boots by NOFX while reading sad fanfics? Now I'm gonna cry a little whenever I hear that song.

      Anyways, well written, but at a few points, I dunno, I just wasn't in tune with the story. Deserves a Star 4 at least.

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    38. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    39. After a typo in my last post...

      I definitely made me cry at times. Very well written. Normally I can't say that I like fanfictions that are set in the future.

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    40. Well that was heartbreaking. Well written in my opinion, but sad as all get out.

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    41. I don't get why so many people assume that immortality would be hell. Sure, there's the whole "outliving your friends and family" thing but in this fic it looks like eventually all of Equestria will be long-lived if not immortal.

      The only other fanfic I've seen where all the Mane 6 were made immortal was Circle of Friends ( https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1zZZnizNM_2hh_UQ22gmk2VChBrlFCmyLevNuCbKbSaQ ) and in that case all but Twilight gave it up and died (and she was only waiting for somepony to shirk off her responsibilities as Princess onto, like Celestia did to her).

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    42. @Annon12: Thank you!

      @Annon13: Cheers!

      @Ihaveanamebecause?: Thank you, I try my best.

      @AQNichols: That was the point. But thank you!

      @ZarPaulus: Its a personal thing for me really. I fear being alone, and too me, being immortal is lonliness to an extreme. Besides, we are looking at this, time line? from this one angle. As I have said, I plan further stories hopefully where sadness can be forgotten.
      And as for eventually, thats just the children of the Mane 6. Nothing is said of the grandchildren. Note Fluttershy having a table with pictures, many with little black bands round them. One idea I didn't go with was the idea that as the generations came, the length of life slowly reverted to normal aging.

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    43. @BrianBlessedPony

      I wasn't referring to the mane 6 as such. Just the notion of immortality and the implications of it, that has been used many times before. For Spike, the alicorns, Twilight... Circle of Friends as well, as you say.

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    44. @Baree
      I do agree. I just wanted my own spin on it I suppose. And my spin has only just started ;)

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    45. Very good story! I loved at first how you start trying to figure things out and then when each goes into their own flashback it gets revealed. Very well executed and very moving.

      And I liked how where others had a memento, Rarity only had scars. At one very stupid part of my life, I intentionally cut myself, and whenever I look at the scar it is a reminder and promise to myself to never do something that silly again. I guess, personally it just clicked with me, but I liked how you expressed that results of past actions can serve as a reminder in the future.

      Anyway, sorry if I got a little to intense there, your story just brought up a lot of feelings in me, which I applaud you for. That is what any good writer should do.

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    46. BrianBlessedPonyJuly 15, 2011 at 3:11 PM

      @Twitchy.717043
      Thank you, and dont worry about it. The story filled its role of really hitting with people then. And thats whats counts to me; making people happy, making them think and the like.
      And I'm no good writer. I'm just an Englisman with ideas.

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    47. BrianBlessedPonyJuly 16, 2011 at 8:35 AM

      @Anonymous
      I had to write the bloody thing! I know how you feel :P

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    48. I somehow like these types of stories, even if they make me sad, anyways, if I had to be Immortal it would be with my friends, but I only have bro's, so I guess I'd need true friends for that, still, immortality is good only if you can end it, like in CoF, but on here its sad how they will watch others die, for all eternity, but they will never cross over to the other side, but was kinda funny with BM's "Eeyup" when he was sweettalking Fluttershyt

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    49. @ULTRAMARIOX
      Of course I would accidentally Fluttershyt instead of Fluttershy, at least I didn't Dkrrwragt, which is every key left of Fluttershy.

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    50. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    51. It's nice, I find the concept interesting. I think Applejack's accent could use some work.

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    52. Ah, that was heartbreaking.

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    53. I wasn't the least bit surprised to see that one of the ponies had tried to commit suicide. Given how horrible it would be to end up immortal, I'm surprised there weren't more attempts at ending the curse.

      I wonder if Celestia and Luna have tried and failed to kill themselves in the past?

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    54. Damn! Stop being so good at writing! It makes me sad, because if you were bad at writing, I'd have no problem not reading this wonderful, yet remorseful snippet of awesome sadness.

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    55. Of all the fanfics ive read, this one in particular, made me sobb for a good amount of time:



      We remember all who have died over the years :(

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    56. Really good, i mean amazing i loved it, i like the whole idea of them all having their special memory's of a certain person, i loved it 10/10

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    57. T-Trevor... Trevor found this again! YES! /manlytears.jpg

      Thanks again for this fic... There's grammar and spelling issues, but the overall story is just too beautiful to care THAT much... Thanks... (Still, if you ever want one to go over it, just leave a comment, okay? Pre-reading is what Trevor does! *Spifs*)

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

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    58. I'd just like to say thanks to all of you that commented! I'm sorry I havent done so for some time, but such is life when we lost the open comment system.

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    59. @BrianBlessedPony
      Good second story. There's just one error that I saw, at the memorial party for Spike, Rarity said "Spoke" instead of Spike. Needless to say that it was still a beautiful story .

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    60. @Run-CMC
      DAMNIT! I COULD HAVE SWORN I HAD GOT THAT BIT!
      Oh well, thank you. Edit is done, and thank you for your comment!

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    61. This story makes me sad all over again now. Didn't need to hear the details....still, sad as it is, you've done this excellently, and the personalities are perfect compared to the Mane 6 of the show, and how they'd probably react. A few minor grammar errors in the second part, but nothing to be concerned about, and overall, just a beautiful tale.

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    62. I always see immortality as the greatest gift, and the darkest curse. You lose the greatest fear, that of death, but you will still be around, when many of your friends won't.
      I always get a bit poetic around the subject of immortality. Anyway, both stories are great dude. Keep up the good work!

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    63. Agreed with many others here. Quite a good read, sad indeed (I can totally see Rarity acting like that without thinking it through). Numerous spelling/grammar mistakes though. Get a competent prereader, good sir! ;)

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    64. Very sad and very well-written. Grammatical/spelling mistakes pull me out a bit though.

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    65. @Sage Well, some people had asked, and I did have the idea planned out, so why not? Thank you though!

      @Col. Hoofstrong That is exaclty how I see it man, thanks!

      @Tchernobog Thank you! Yeah, my pre-readers for part 2 were hit by the Skyrim bug, so I had no choice but to do what all good FPS players do: push on ahead regardless. Thanks again!

      @Thyrai Well, I'm no pro at this. I can only try., Thank you though!

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    66. @Pen Stroke

      Immortality is only horrible if you've never thought about it beforehand. If you already know what's coming, you can quite prepare yourself for it! For instance, we have pets even though we know they will die long before we will. It's simply a matter of taking the joy in each relationship as it comes, and holding onto the memory of those who have died. But then, I do have a rather stoic mindset. Adapt and continue is how I live.

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    67. Sweet Celestia, why do I keep reading these?

      Beautiful beautiful story good sir, now I have to find your other stories and read them as well.

      More for the list!

      -Delta-

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    68. I think most of the things I have to say about these stories have already been adequately addressed by other commenters. There's an issue I had with the second story, however, that hasn't been brought up yet. This is going to sound trivial, but hear me out:

      Font choice.

      The large font, bold letters, and compact layout make this story unpleasant to read in Google docs. The large and bold combo creates an effect similar to all caps (which, although appropriate considering your pen name, is not a great way to endear yourself to readers). Combined with the tight spacing, they create a 'wall of ink' effect which is both visually off-putting to readers and hard on the eyes.

      I know this seems petty, because it has nothing to do with the story or your writing, but visual appearance is part of the reader's experience with your story. It took me a while to break some bad habits with page layout when I started writing fanfics, but people do respond more positively to stories with an appealing layout, even if few actually comment on it (or even realize that it affects their perceptions). Just something to keep in mind.

      Other than that...grammar problems, very sad, nice punch without too much filler...like I said, nothing you haven't heard earlier. Still, I'm glad to see you're still writing.

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    69. @Delta Takahashi Thank you mate! Here's my other stories! http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=category&user=479

      @Chris Well, thank you at least. Font of course is a needed requirement, and whilst my first chapter was adjusted at the request of a pre-reader, the 2nd wasn't. This was because fimfic has been too easy, and thus, not needed this consideration.
      Thank you though. Yeah, I am still writing, but its easier for it to go to FimFic these days ^^;

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    70. This is the first sad fics I have ever read and I havta say they were great the second one almost made me really cry but I was tearing up through both of them the whole time but I did quite enjoy the bitter sweet ending to these. Also I can't wait to see what The Sweetie Belle Chronicles does with your world and that fic is why I read yours. Anyway great job man I'm gonna need to call my friends tomorrow... Well when I wake up anyways.

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    71. Don't know how I missed the sequel story when it went up so soon after the first, but I'm glad it was brought to my attention recently. A fitting continuation to the original.

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    72. VERY good. The first one just blew me away!

      Unfortunately, the second one is kinda pointless. The first one has stronger emotions, and so it doesn't get as good a buildup. In addition, does it really MATTER how Spike died? It worked perfectly well when it was just "an adventure" but now it just feels clunky.

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