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Description: Gilda does horrible things to Rainbow DashNew Tricks
Monday, March 14, 2011
Story: New Tricks
Disclaimer: Equestria Daily does not condone hate crimes of any kind against Tomboy Rainbow Pegasus' or any other pony for that matter.
18 comments:
WHY.jpg
So...umm, why do we have the star-rating system again? Are we judging on content or how well it's written?
I mean, yes, it's not like a masterpiece, but it's not super-awful
I didn't like it, and half the script was reused from Sonic Rainboom but...
The writing's decent. So I can't one-star it the way I want to.
Writing was mediocre, but I enjoyed the content.
I really had trouble following this story.
Messy.
And descriptive.
One starred
Grimdark for the sake of being grimdark. No story, just "these ponies die".
Boring, poorly written, and as the others have said, Grimdark for the sake of being Grimdark.
When your story hinges on one line of dialogue (read: the only line of dialogue) you want to make sure that line really hits home with the audience. You want them to -feel- it. Make it good.
Punctuation helps.
very lamesauce couldn't keep reading it, not enough interesting content
I rather grimdark ponies than lingerie ponies
I'm sorry but it was not very good.
And if Gilda so carefully planned this out, why did she think she could escape while severely injured *and* carrying a body not much smaller than herself?
I'm no writer, but maybe you should have spiced up the ending with a defiant last stand, or possibly even Gilda realizing what she had done and being crushed by regret
thanks for the feedback guys, and ive taken it all on board.
In my defense, this was kind of a request someone had for something to submit, and I'm trying to make some of the things I write shorter. My usual stories are much, much longer. It was kind of a first attempt. I do have some other fics that are longer, and people have said are better, maybe I'll show them if you'd be willing to read
But just so I know, would you say the writing is worse, or the content?
@dasalasa
I'd say the writing was fine, it was just perhaps TOO straightforward.
Beyond the colourful descriptions of carnage, I'd say the most interesting thing was how Gilda herself was willing to die just to hurt Dash and that she even stole her body for reasons I'd prefer not think about.
I think the first commenter summed it up nicely. WHY?
First off, this was not that well written. It was very blunt and a little painful to read.
Second, the subject. Just... Just why? I mean, I've read Cupcakes and Rocket to Insanity. They seeed to hold a point to them. Compared to this? Ugh....
1 star.
A blandly written, entirely pointless story.
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