• Story: To Set Right (Update Part 5!)


    Author: Flying Dice
    Description: 600 years after the disappearance of Celestia and Luna and the reversion of Equestria to a wild state, two ponies living simple lives make friends, travel through ruined cities, overgrown jungles, and deserted badlands on a journey they do not yet understand. As they continue, they will discover a secret so immense that will overturn the very concept of what it is to be a pony. Yes, there are OC ponies. No, it isn't post-apocalyptic. There will be cupcakes. They will not be the GRIMDARK kind.
    To Set Right Part 1
    To Set Right Part 2

    To Set Right Part 3
    To Set Right Part 4
    To Set Right Part 5 (New!)

    Additional Tags: OC Ponies, Combat, Long, Flamethrowers, Hidejeralicorns


    1. Additional Tags

      I think this'll be good.

    2. Hmm...Combat and Flamethrowers

      Lets get reading

    3. combat, flamethrowers and Hidejeralicorns?

      now thats a party rite there

    4. Flamethrowers...

      ...lol, i'm definitely reading this soon

    5. So far most comments are of Flamethrowers.

    6. Comprehensive descriptions for the win.

    7. how can there be flamethrowers and no grimdark?

      I mean, it is a weapon designed to cause a uniquely horrible and painful death lol.

      jus sayin


    8. >600+ Years in future
      >Celestia and Luna Disappeared
      >Wild State
      >Ruined Cities
      >Deserted Badlands

      Something doesn't add up here...
      Ignoring the fact that TECHNICALLY the word "apocalypse" is rarely used correctly, as it actually means a revelation generally RELATING to a cataclysm (especially one where good tends to triumph over evil)... in the sense that we tend to use it, all it really tends to mean is an enormous worldwide change that can bee seen as a cataclysm of some sort.

      Just because it isn't Fallout doesn't mean it's not technically post apocalyptic...

    9. "There will be cupcakes. No, they won't be the GRIMDARK kind."

      Okay, I'm totally reading this.

      And not to nitpick, but you forgot to add the "AS F*CK" on the end of "GRIMDARK". Just sayin'...

    10. Sounds really epic. I'll give it a try when it has reached at least 5 chapters.

    11. Ok, I read this, so far it looks interesting, but I kinda hate having to wait to see how things are going to work out, (usually I wont read an incomplete story at all) however, this does seem to be interesting enough that I might stick with it.

    12. Seems good so far, I just gotta remember to watch for it now xD

    13. Not too bad I must say. Definiitely more in line with what I'm used to reading as opposed to other fics

    14. Zoom in on the picture and look at Twilight and Rainbow Dash, then Look at Rarity and Nightmare Moon XD
      That's some weird shipping(Rarity and Nightmare I mean)!

    15. Flamethrowers.... Okay... I'm interested....

    16. La la, oh, another fic. La la... Wait... Adventure? Combat? Flamethrowers?

      FLAMETHROWERS!? (Hudda hudda huh!)

      I must read this.

    17. Hey everyone! Thanks for the responses! I'm working on editing the next chapter right now, and it should be submitted by tomorrow night at the latest.

      Regarding the grimdark tag/lack thereof: I considered it, and I am probably going to ask that it be added in. For those of you who are looking forward to them, the flamethrowers won't be showing up until around chapter 3-4, depending on how much time I spend on a certain thing I've got in mind.

      With the whole 'non-postapocalyptic' thing: I meant that more as a hint that this world did not undergo any sort of cataclysmic event; the current state of affairs is the result of a few... missing things, and the effects of them being gone for around 600 years. The decline of the Roman Empire was just as drastic, and was due to a few similarily 'simple' issues, but is not generally considered a cataclysmic event. I'd really like to go into this a bit more, but that would be getting into serious spoiler territory. ;)

    18. Am I the only one who was unaffected by the 'flamethrower' tag and was instead drawn to the 'hidejeralicorns' tag? I'm curious if that tag is going to actually be relevant or was just thrown in for giggles.

      I'll bookmark this and start reading it when there's a small handful of chapters to consume. I hate reading fics right as they get started, I'm always disappointed with only one chapter. D:

    19. *Reads comments*
      *determines there is a large amount of pyromaniac Bronies on EQD*

    20. Love the writing so far, you're very descriptive, I'm dying to read more!

    21. @Cedric Bale:

      Yeah, that is actually the most plot-relevant tag on there.

    22. I stopped liking flamethrowers around the time I played Dead Space.

    23. Interesting.

      Has the main 6, but set 600 years in the future.

    24. Sorry to ask but, what is "Oc Ponies"?

    25. This story is pretty interesting. Like Fallout Equestria or Antipodes but rather more optimistic, and in a setting that isn't quite as totally screwed up.

      The "disappearance of magic" plot hook has got me intrigued. And flamethrowers are cool too.

      However, some of the places where you talked about the ponies' crossbows jarred me a bit. I think it might work better if you described how exactly a pony would use a crossbow.

      A good story overall. Can't wait for more!

      @SuperUnknown101: OC ponies are original characters; ponies that do not appear in the show.

    26. @eznpony:
      I've actually spent quite a bit of time thinking on the mechanics of various pony weapons, largely in an effort to avoid that sort of thing rather than handwave it. The simplest would obviously be used by unicorns; they still have telekinesis. For pegasi, I was mainly going with short blades mounted parallel to their legs, which could be locked in retracted or extended positions with a pair of mouth-twisted bolts, as well as leg-mounted crossbows.

      Blaze’s would basically be a light crossbow, a bit larger than a handbow, but smaller than a full sized crossbow, attached to a bracer/set of straps that hold it tightly to her foreleg. Her crossbow is a repeating variant, meaning that rather than loading bolts individually a pony would load it with a light, wooden framework “magazine”, operating the bow’s mechanisms with a mouth crank, which would, in order, fire, draw the bowstring, and clear the magazine to drop the next bolt into place. There is also the matter of “buck-spikes”, which are basically small (think 2-3 inches in length) steel spikes in the shape of a triangular pyramid, similar to WWI trench knives; a pony would use them either to penetrate a helmet for a lethal hit, or to pierce armor and force bits of chainmail into a wound. I had discarded this originally because it seemed impossible to have them as functional weapons, given that I had been trying to figure out how to mount them on the bottoms of rear hooves, which plain wouldn’t work for earth ponies, but then decided to mount them on the rear of leg barding instead, which would work in a similar way, albeit with a slightly less natural movement.

      As for general weapons usable by earth ponies, I decided on a basic design for melee weapons where the metal core would be similar to human weapons (although scaled down) in terms of the blade/axe head/etc., but the hilt, rather than being a single, in-line bar of metal, would be a half-circle, with the flat perpendicular to the line of the blade, and with a 4-directional guard. This would be encased in the same way that the hilt of a human weapons would be, and would gripped in the mouth, making for a slightly less awkward sort of melee weapon, as facing forward would have the blade facing forward as well, etc. Admittedly, this isn’t the best solution, as earth ponies will still be incapable of anything beyond slashing in an arc ahead of them, as their heads aren’t nearly flexible or extendable enough to replicate actual swordplay, which is why I’m having them largely focus on ranged weapons and something that hasn’t come up yet: saddle-mounted spears (for those of you familiar with them, it should be obvious why pikes wouldn’t work… :p). In regards to those, the crossbows are going to be similar to the one already mentioned, save that some will be single-shot, and many will be heavier, as they aren’t constrained by the weight limits imposed by flight. Crossbows will work in much the same way for earth ponies as melee weapons; they need their legs free for movement, so it will fall again to what I am somewhat irreverently calling the “paddle design”, except that these will have pressure-activated “triggers” similar to the levers on the stocks of medieval crossbows; hold with medium force to aim, squeeze to fire, lower the bow and put your hoof in the handle on the front to steady the bow while you crank it back with your mouth, load a new bolt, repeat. And then buck spikes, of course.
      So basically unicorns have the most flexibility and range of ability, but are limited by how much magic they can use, and how well they can use it; earth ponies have the fewest practical options, but have the endurance to make the most of those; and pegasi have probably the best range of weapons, given that they are able to move without using their legs, freeing them up for attached weaponry and equipment, but with the caveat that they are weight limited, meaning that their weapons and barding are going to be smaller and lighter.

    27. Whew, that ended up being rather long, didn’t it? I wanted to explain more of this explicitly in-story to clear things up, but it read like too much of an infodump, so I decided to sprinkle it as I go, both to provide increasing levels of detail on the world, and to avoid sounding like the narrator or the characters are breaking the fourth wall to explain things to the audience. Not that there won’t be a bit of that going on once a certain party pony is re- yeah, can’t say any more without giving stuff away.

    28. Looks like the link to Part 3 did't get a new line. D:

    29. Interesting story, I would like to see a new update!

    30. Chapter III (Part 4, that is) should be finished up by tomorrow night, and the proofreading and editing should be completed by the end of Saturday. Assuming everything goes as planned, next update should be early next week. And now that I've sort-of promised that I feel obligated to actually do it.

      Thanks for the postive response everybody! I'm glad you are enjoying my humble effort so far! :3

    31. This story is awesome, though I must admit the only characters I really like are the first two you introduced, Bright Horizon and Evening Blaze.

    32. @Flying Dice

      My my, so many dead ponies! And the griffons seem to have degenerated to mere savage beasts. Ah, another dimension of pain created!

      *chuckles* What heartache would we feel if it were true that our fictional worlds, if we made them complete enough, truly took on a life of their own?

    33. Can't wait until the next chapter, I'm liking this story a lot. :D