• Story: Children of the Sun


    [Adventure]

    Author:
    Vanner
    Description: The Lunar Rebellion sought to bring Nightmare Moon to power over Equestria, and for two long years, a war was fought for that very purpose. In the end, Nightmare Moon was defeated, but Celestia had become broken. She lost her faith in the ponies that once only knew love, and she walled herself inside her castle at Canterlot.

    For five years, no pony had seen or heard from the goddess. In her absence, Equestria falls apart at the seams. Endless skirmishes are fought over petty land disputes, love and tolerance are gone from the land, and ponies begin to revel in the art of war. When a dangerous threat emerges from the ashes of the Lunar Rebellion, all hope seems gone from the world. But some ponies aren't willing to let Equestria fall.

    Four unlikely ponies step up to correct the mistakes of the past. In their quest to restore Equestria, they will learn that through the magic of friendship, all things are possible.

    This story is presented as part of the Pony Fiction Writer's Month for September 2011.

    Children of the Sun

    Additional Tags:
    Friendship, Lunar Rebellion, History

    31 comments:

    1. This story is presented as part of the Pony Fiction Writer's Month for September 2011."
      Oh boy, does that mean this thing is going to be epic in length?

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    2. This looks...intriguing to say the least. I'll put it on my to-read list

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    3. > 78,462 words total
      Yes, yes it does...

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    4. >Lunar Rebellion
      Big giant NOPE.avi

      >Four unlikely ponies
      Sounds like OCs

      >step up to correct the mistakes of the past.
      Fixing some Past Sins are we?

      78000+ words: multiple 5 star ratings already -.-

      have fun with this

      I guess

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    5. @Kits
      Of course they are OCs, the story takes place 995 years ago if I understand the summary correctly.

      I'm gonna wait for the pdf version though, I prefer to read big stories on my kindle.

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    6. I heard the song of the same title on the way home. >_>

      creepy....

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    7. Will maybe read, it'll be a long one.

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    8. @Kits

      To be fair, I guess the ratings could come from people who read the story before it was published here.

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    9. @Kits

      Well, to the writer's credit, I'm the one that approved it. Sorry, kits.

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    10. Is that a relative of Pokey in the picture?

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    11. In case you're wondering, this project was done in exactly a month. That's written, edited, and revised. Realistically, I could have worked on it for another month, but I figured I'd keep to the spirit the project to finish a novel length story in a month.

      That said, I am working on the reader format, it's just kind of a hassle. I'll post it here in the next day or two.

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    12. "Celestia had become broken. She lost her faith in the ponies that once only knew love, and she walled herself inside her castle at Canterlot."


      hehehehehehe


      "It was a bad time for Equestria. Celestia just stayed inside her castle and she never came out. People said her brain was infected by DEVILS."

      +100000 points if you get the song reference.

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    13. @mycutiemarkisagun

      forgot to change "People" to "Ponies" tho. Fuck.

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    14. Sweet, it's up. Congrats on completing it.

      I'm really glad I don't have to hunt you down, cut you, scoop out your brain, and force it into a computer.

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    15. Oh for-

      Of course.

      Of course I would have to check EqD just one last time before I got on with my imminently due uni work.

      Confound these ponies indeed.

      How can I not read this knowing it came from the author of One Last Quest? Your timing is terrible, Vanner.

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    16. @Bronode Seriously. I am never going to get things done if this keeps happening!

      (and it keeps happening)

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    17. 70,000+ words.

      Jegus this is one hell of a fic. Nice that it's all complete, though. Don't hafta wait for more, which I approve of wholeheartedly. I also approve of an adventure story without any variation of the grimdark tag, too, by the way.

      Haven't read all the way through yet, so I'll reserve judgment 'til then. But it's pretty good thus far.

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    18. Oh, now I'll have to read this... To the moon with that book test tomorrow.

      @Bronode and @Overlong Analysis Cobalt

      yeah... That's basically it.

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    19. I'm not normally a fan of "war in Equestria" stories but I liked this one. The historical nature of it helped a lot - it's set nearly a thousand years ago after Nightmare Moon's first rise, so it's understandable that things are a lot different back then. And it wove nicely into the existing mythology. I liked that the ponies themselves took sides in the fight between Nightmare Moon and Celestia, and that even after Nightmare Moon was banished there were long-lasting societal aftershocks.

      I suppose I was disappointed in Celestia's reaction, but that's not necessarily a bad thing - she was a thousand years less mature back then and I can believe that she'd feel broken by what had occurred. The only real problem I had was that the ending felt a leeetle bit convenient - after all the ill will that had built up over the past few years things settled down too quickly and Celestia was a bit too quick to accept it. But I'm not very confident in this critique, I might feel better about it after I let it ruminate a bit more.

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    20. OC's, OC's, OC's, OC's, OC's, OC's everywhere and barely a canon character in sight. Not my thing.

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    21. After reading this fic, I feel like this is one of those rare cases where you end up with what you feel is a great story and you will not find anything else that will better suit your tastes.
      It's like, you can keep reading more and more different fics, but you'll have this hollowed feeling within you! It keeps happening!

      Anyways...
      The OC ponies are interesting, the theme is nice (Come on, grimdark!), throwing in some light-med shipping, conspiracies, betrayal, etc! Although the only con I could list would be the grammar mistakes that seem to start occurring on ch10 and over. Despite this, you should still have a fairly easy time comprehending what is going on, the worst that can happen is getting confused with some of the name mix-ups!

      I hereby end this mumbling review with a 5/5 rating! The author did a very good job on creating an interesting story, and for that I thank him!

      ps Bard and Constance are best oc ponies!

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    22. Ooooo.... so long. But, it's by the same brony who wrote "One Last Quest", which is easily one of my all-time favorites! I guess I'll have to take the long weekend to read it. :D

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    23. i'll wait for the pdf before reading it all (gotta do something on the bus home), but this is looking pretty good!

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    24. @Acriaos
      You know the kindle can handle .txt, and .rtf right? you can download it and then transfer it over. thats what I did and it worked out just fine.

      Also amazing story! I loved it. At parts it brought tears to my eyes.

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    25. @Kits
      WAAAAAAAANK. How about reading the story first and then bashing it mindlessly?

      The prologue was kind of clumsy, but the rest of the story was amazing. This deserves six stars, but since I can only give five, have them!

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    26. For anyone that's interested in the PDF, Maximillan Veers has just uploaded it.

      http://maximillianveers.deviantart.com/#/d4c189l

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    27. Also, SPECULATION TIME!

      Muffins is obviously Pinkie Pie's ancestor and Heart Chase (or rather, Apple Chase) was probably the founder of the Apple family. There could be an argument made that Rarity descended from the Picks and that both Twilight AND Trixie are of the same line as Glaive and Bard. That leaves Constance, who might be Fluttershy's ancestor. Ridgeline is not directly related to anyone from FiM as far as I can tell and Rainbow Dash doesn't have an ancestor in CotS.

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    28. Vanner, This was an epic expansion into your universe.

      "loved it" 5 stars are belong to you!

      It would have been really cool if one of the stain glass windows at the end depicted the first red weed.

      Both of the concluding fights focused very little on our party of hero's that was kinda disappointing, I was looking forward to Bard taking the bullet.

      Iron pick kinda got a raw deal though, would have been nice for the judge & or jury to emerge while celestia passed her judgement and find him not-guity of treason against equestria, giving celestia a nice headache about how Iron could forgive glave, the jury could forgive iron but apparently she could not =D

      the slight rush at the end I have to assume is part of the writers month, and that leads to the only real issue with this story ...

      Is the sequel with pokey and trixie still in the works or are the similarities with bard and ridge no coincidence?

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    29. @Ash

      That sequel focuses far more on Cheerilee and her grad students than it does Pokey and Trixie, but yes, it is coming. I've got other projects to work on in the mean time, so look for it starting December.

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    30. Man, why has this gotten so little attention? I know a lot of people have an aversion to OC's, but this is a good story. I was in love with the characters by the second chapter, and I was mortified when *spoilers* I thought that Iron Pick had died. I love these OC's enough that I might end up drawing them.

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