• Story: Elements of Anarchy (Update Complete!)

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    Author: Undercover Brony
    Description: No matter how hard ponies try to make friends, sometimes they can't help but make enemies. Now, the Great and Powerful Trixie is gathering allies to defeat Twilight and the rest of the Elements of Harmony once and for all...
    The Elements of Anarchy Part 1
    The Elements of Anarchy Part 2
    The Elements of Anarchy Part 3
    The Elements of Anarchy Part 4 (New!)
    The Elements of Anarchy Part 5 (New!)

    Additional Tags: Revenge, Trixie, Magic, Old enemies

    36 comments:

    1. Seems interesting.

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    2. I agree. Harmony vs. Discord may make sense, but Harmony vs. Anarchy is so much cooler. I'll leave just how much cooler up to you.

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    3. this is good. it has potential, now you just have to finish the story!

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    4. Awesome! I was the guy who wrote that "Legion of Gloom" story a couple weeks back, which was kinda the same basic concept except as a comedy. But I was really hoping someone would do a serious story along those lines, and now it looks like my wish has come true!

      So far it's really well written. Trixie is just fantastic, just the right amount of arrogance. Gilda is excellent as well (Blueblood and Photo Finish are great too, I just really love how you wrote Trixie and Gilda). The insertion of Ace is interesting, since he doesn't have quite as direct a connection to the Mane Six, so I'm curious to see how you handle him.

      I'm not sure what to make of Inkamena at this point. On one hand I feel like it goes against the show to have Pinkie's family look at Pinkie with disrespect, but on the other hand I really like the idea of sibling envy, so this could work really well. I'm eager to see where this goes...

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    5. You know, Anarchy actually means a political system that, if applied correctly, would have a result not at all close to the negative connotation that that "Anarchy" has taken and...




      Alright, I'll shut up.

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    6. You understand what anarchy is, right? Anarchy doesn't necessarily mean discord or at odds or even chaos. All it means (and I'm speaking loosely) is to essentially follow one's own path without outside direction or enforcement.

      If everybody decided to follow a direction beneficial towards both themselves and their fellow man, Anarchy would actually be the best way to promote friendship and Harmony. And honestly? It seems like, in general, Anarchy would actually work among the ponies for the most part.

      Of course for humans everything would go to shit, but the title is really kind of mistaken here.

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    7. That was wonderful, especially the Hawkeye joke :D

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    8. @Pinkie Pie

      So long as everypony doesn't try to act like you we're ok. Im not sure the universe could contain that many parties.

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    9. PS: Some inappropriateness in that.

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    10. Tons of potential here. I feel it.

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    11. Lessee...

      Blueblood is Vanity, Photo-Finish is Obsession, Inkie is Shame, Gilda is Dominance, Ace is Cheating, and Trixie is Deception?

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    12. I was sooo not referencing that…
      Until today, I had never even heard of it, not truly.

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    13. @John

      I admit that Ace was a bit of a stretch. I just couldn't think of a proper rival for Applejack so I sort of had to make one up. She has lots of friendly rivalries (Dash, Rarity, Applebloom) but none of them are serious enough for them to wish her real harm. The Buffalo situation gets solved happily in the end so there was no real room for a grudge there either. I'm sure someone will point out a more obvious rival here now, but never mind.

      As for Inkimena- think about it. She led a dreary, boring life pushing rocks around, then all of a sudden Pinkie has her revelation and throws an awesome party and everything seems to be picking up. But then Pinkie just vanishes off to Ponyville and Inkimena is back to her old life again, only with more work to do than ever. I think that's enough motivation for a pony to turn on her sister there.

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    14. @Undercover Brony

      I know I certainly couldn't think of a decent rival for Applejack when I wrote my little thingie, so you definitely have my sympathy there. Eventually I just gave up trying to match the individual ponies with an enemy.

      Don't get me wrong, I think the inclusion of Inkimena makes plenty of sense and I think it will make for some great writing, I was just expressing doubt that the Inkimena in the show would be like that (not that it really matters, I'm just kinda a stickler for canon is all). Don't take it as a negative comment or anything, I was just trying to explain what was going through my mind when I was reading that. :)

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    15. I'd honestly see Diamond Tiara as a better candidate for Applejack's enemy than Ace.

      I mean think about it. Her Cutecinera was ruined for her and everybody stopped paying attention to how great she was because her little blank flank sister stole the spotlight! How dare she?! She should keep better control of that little baby! She should have kept her back in the barn or tied to a post or something instead of letting her come out and ruin HER party! How dare she be so irresponsible?!

      It's something of a stretch, but to me it fits better than Ace... I 'unno...

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    16. I'm gonna pretend that I thought of that and discounted her because a) she's a filly, and thus rather unthreatening b) she's really more of Applebloom's rival (although I guess you could say that about Ace as well) but mainly it was c) I completely forgot she existed

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    17. I really liked it! The latest chapters read just like a (more adult level) episode of the show. The different reactions of everyone made it fun to read. One point of criticism, is while I could see Pinkie being a little oblivious, I imagine her loosing her smile for just a tiny hurt moment after Inkie explodes at her, trying to come back with slightly forced cheer. But that's just me. Love that you brought up AJ's musing of being in Pinkie's situation of being turned on by family. Props to you for still going on with this even after this new episode because I can't wait to see what happens next!

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    18. anyone else notice that trixie is quoting the spy from tf2?

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    19. Actually, this is just me, but I've entertained the idea that Carrot Top could potentially have a bitter rivalry with Applejack or perhaps there's some sort of feud between the Apple family and the Carrot family. Vegetables versus fruits and all that. Perhaps with Applejack always winning the harvest festival in ponyville each year while Carrot Top's always get second place.

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    20. I really love it. But I do agree with 'hey!', Pinkie Pie must lose her smile or something, Inky made a solid point - Pinkamena really abandoned her family and left her sisters to work harder. IT's not good.

      But overall, good story. And I can't wait to see, what happens now. They won... but there's thing. What would you do when you won?

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    21. @hiddenlightning
      Er... I didn't, and I wrote it :p where exactly? Accidental TF2 reference FTW!

      Carrot top: Was considered at one point, but I didn't go with her for reasons I forget (not evil enough perhaps)

      Pinkie Pie: I don't see her as being that easy to depress. It took a whole day of (perceived) shunning to send her all Pinkimena in party of one, and she still was pretty positive after all Gilda did to her- still trying to solve everything with a party. Discord had an easier time of it but of course that episode hadn't aired when I wrote this.

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    22. @Tritone

      actually anarchy isnt a political system as it doesnt last long enough, it's more of a transition phase to another political system because of all the chaos, it cannot maintain itself.

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    23. SPOILERS:

      Man, chapter four was awesome! Really well played out too, with Trixie presenting her ultimatum as the others become riddled with doubt. I was actually expecting the Elements of Harmony to use their magic to come back home, being all united and all, so while it wasn't much of a surprise for me when they returned it still totally makes sense within the story.

      Love the ending line for chapter four.

      As for chapter five...

      INKY IS NOW PINKY! *squeal!*

      *ahem*

      Love Photo Finish's resolution. "I need...ZE MAGIC! I go!" And Trixie's refusal to go with the situation is perfect for her character (especially seeing as she was the one who brought the Elements of Anarchy together in the first place).

      So, in conclusion, it's a shame to see this end so soon but it was a great ride. Good work!

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    24. Highly entertaining. I agree that Ace was a stretch but you wrote him in well enough that he fit. I completely agree with Inkie as Pinkie's opposite, gray depression against colorful laughter. Overall, a very well written fanfiction. Kudos to you good sir.

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    25. Well, that was... over disappointingly fast.

      Don't get me wrong, it was a very interesting read, but I feel the last chapter fell short of the other four. The story has such potential, so the sudden ending is quite surprising.

      There's also one question I'd like to ask: How is humiliating someone in front of the kingdom going to make them less wanting revenge on you? Wouldn't that make things only worse? Especially seeing how the others got away almost scot-free? That seems... petty. Very very petty.

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    26. Anti-Elements of Harmony? Can you say "captain pollution"? lol

      No seriously!

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    27. @Nickel Gunner
      "Well, that was... over disappointingly fast."
      Just like the real show!
      No, I agree that chapter 5 was a bit short. I couldn't really work out anything obvious to lengthen it though. Probably because it's only one scene (apart from the epilogue with Celestia) instead of being split into bits.
      "That seems... petty. Very very petty."
      Well, it just seemed like Rarity to have just a LITTLE fun. Plus I just really don't like Blueblood, and he didn't really 'reform' (he's just scared of Celestia) so it didn't feel right just letting him get away with it completely.

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    28. @Undercover Brony

      Fair enough!

      And I just want to reiterate: I liked the story, I wish it had been longer!

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    29. I liked this, the characterisations were great and the story was great.

      I liked how you ended everything and although he might have had the worst reason for being one of them Ace made me laugh and I liked how you portrayed him.

      I'm trying to avoid writing huge comments but I really liked this and I liked how everything panned out ,its a bit of a pity it seemed over so quickly.

      Also Fluttershy going with Photo Finish becuase it was rude to refuse two requests in a row was just perfect.

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    30. That was certainly interesting. A little short but fun none the less.
      Trixie's refusal and the other's reactions when they realized they may have let things get out of hand(particularly the part about the Princess finding out)were rather clever.
      Guess Twilight's still stuck with one enemy for a long while.

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