• Story: The Patchwork (Updated Part 7!)

    [GrimLight][Adventure] LOTS of revamps on this one apparently!

    Author: Mbulsht
    Description: The government has been lying to you, and I've been helping them. But no more. I'm through. When you've seen what I've seen and done what I've done, there comes a time when you've got to stand up and say enough is enough. My name is Quill Paiges, and I'm a Patcher.
    The Patchwork (All Links) (New Part 7!)

    Google Documents

    Patchwork Part 1
    Patchwork Part 2
    Patchwork Part 3
    Patchwork Part 4
    Patchwork Part 5
    Patchwork Part 6
    Patchwork Part 7 (New!)

    Additional Tags: Long, Crime, Drama, Conspiracy, OC


    1. no not pinkie pie D:

    2. I think that we already know who the other four are....

    3. >Princess Twilight Sparkle

      Wait what

      ~Display Name

    4. She took over after overthrowing the corrupt government with the help of Quill?

    5. @anon

      yep but i think this story is based off of a movie that sounds like it, had to do with 7 deadly sins idk if its based off that but it sounds like it.

    6. hmmm...if pinkie pie is gluttony who will be envy, pride, wrath, and all the others???

    7. *laughs*

      Is this a dark parody of Se7en? I freaking love Se7en! Okay, now I'm interested.

    8. All I can say about this is that it is very...interesting...

    9. Predictions:

      Lust - Twilight
      Pride - Rainbow Dash
      Greed - Rarity
      Envy - Fluttershy
      Wrath - Applejack
      Sloth - Spike? Not too sure about sloth.

    10. Predictions give me ideas!

    11. Twilight is LUST? What the heck? If anything she's Wrath. After all, she litterally goes on fire when she's angry.

      Not to mention this would tie in with her still being around at what we can presume is a later point in time.

    12. @ Anon at 8:17

      I chose Lust for Twilight because one interpretation of lust is "excessive love of others". She truly loves here friends a lot. But like I said, these are just predictions.


    13. @mbulsht

      I may have inspired you? Cool!


    14. Now that I think about it Anon, I guess Twilight and Applejack could be switched on the list. Applejack does love Sweet Apple Acres. But who knows? We'll have to wait and see what mbulsht writes.


    15. Great. Now I'm seeing Quill as a pony-fied Brad Pitt. >_<

      I had already had thought of matching each of the girls to a specific sin:

      Twilight to Wrath (as correctly referenced above)
      Rainbow Dash to Envy (She's competitive and doesn't like to be left behind)
      Rarity: Greed. (She wanted the gems in Dragonshy)
      Applejack: Pride. (Applebuck season, enough said)
      Pinkie of course goes with Gluttony
      And Spike fits Sloth perfectly.

      But Fluttershy? She doesn't fit the Lust profile. The only one close to it is Rarity, but her dream about Celestia's nephew was more romantic than anything.

      I think I just figured out who the killer is alright.

    16. Argh if this has the same ending as Se7en then I will not be pleased, mostly because it won't be a surprise for me :(

      Good writing though keep it up :D

    17. Haven't read the story, but based on the comments, I may have to ask BlogPony to delay one of mine for a little bit.
      *reads and plans to comment later*

    18. Guys you're forgetting that Quill dies too

    19. I redact my statement and say:

      I have high expectations of this story. Keep them.

    20. Twilight survives and is the only survivor, killer?

    21. Guys this is the first fic I'm actually reading (cause it's not shipping). So now I ask you, how do I know when it updates? Do I just check the link?

    22. It'll show up back on the front page when new chapters are added.


    23. So....it's se7en with ponies. Twilight is obviously going to be the killer.

    24. Theories:

      Twilight's the killer cause she's the survivor

      She's an agent tasked with getting rid of Quill (doesn't explain her mark though but she does have Spike)

      The reader of the diary is the killer

    25. The best part of this string of comments is that I've never seen Se7en. I don't even know what that movie is about.

    26. Call me crazy, but getting the faint idea that this might end up with Celestia's head in a box...

    27. This is quite enjoyable, though part of me doesn't like where it is going... Or rather where it alredy went

      One thing I noticed, Luna said they have been notified about the case "yesterday"

      But earlier Blaise said he has been on the case for 4 days.

      Is this a slip of the timeline, or they have been lying about the case right from the start? (Though if that were the case Luna might have reacted to Blaise's slip)

    28. @Fast and Free

      ha ha ha... no, that's just a mistake. I'll fix that at the next update. Thanks for catching those! I'll have to go have a nice chat with my proofreader....

    29. Oh god, I was instantly reminded of criminal minds.

      This is going to sound incredibly morbid but hey, At the least she died with a smile on her face C:

      This is going to be awesome and disgustingly sad at the same time!

    30. GODDAMNIT ... they can't be dead ... i need more informations. Please finish the next part D:

      The attacker was fast and strong ... with nice cursive writing ...

      Every Unicorn should be able to force a person without having to much problems ... They also could write perfectly fine.

      Then there are the Earth Ponies from the farm.
      All strong, fast and atleast some of them are versed in baking.

      Pegasus ponies can be disregarded in my opinion.

      from what anon said
      Lust - Twilight (possible frigid)
      Pride - Rainbow Dash
      Greed - Rarity (too generous)
      Envy - Fluttershy
      Wrath - Applejack
      Sloth - Spike? Not too sure about sloth.

      My thoughts

      Gluttony - Pinkie Pie
      Lust - (Fluttershy?)
      Pride - Rarity
      Greed - Applejack

      Envy - (CMC bc of their cute marks, Spike would be too obvious after the last episode)

      Wrath - Twilight Sparkle (Alive)
      Sloth - Rainbow Dash

      Big Macintosh, he's strong, fast and quiet.
      Could be religious.

      Trixie, she's a suspect bc of her humiliation.
      Trained in magic.
      But lags knowledge of the subjects and the town.
      It would be suspicious if she'd wander around.

      Gilda, very unlikely.
      Religion isn't her type.
      But she's fast, strong.

      Twilight Sparkle, no comment.

      I will jump in deeper conclusions once the story proceeded.

    31. @trapper_x89


    32. The only thing this has in common with Se7en is that in both cases, the killer bases his murders on the seven deadly sins. Everything else is very different. So I don't think that one can predict what will happen here on the basis of what happened in Se7en. That said, I liked the first three chapters.

    33. Expectations met.
      Keep up the good work

    34. *SPOILERS*

      So, Ms. Cheerilee is Lust
      Pinkie Pie is Gluttony
      Rarity is Vanity
      Rainbow Dash is Pride

      So, the only deadly sins left are envy, sloth and wrath.

      Based on Epi 26, Fluttershy is wrath, no doubt.
      AJ is no slacker, could be envy. One in a million in her extended family, just wants some attention. Or, as someone else referenced the CMC, might be Applebloom. Relation to the holders of the EoH and all.
      So...is Twilight Sloth? Don't know how she could be lazy. Spike would be like that, so perhaps his sin hasn't been discovered yet. Maybe when you look at his deformed spikes on his tail in a certain way do the spell out sloth.

      I doubt Twilight is the killer. She claims not to have known anything about this, but clearly believes her friend Quill.

      I got nothing for the killer, I'm just along for the ride.

    35. If the story stays faithful to how the characters are presented in series, then Spike cannot be Sloth. We all know that he's working himself to exhaustion for Twilight. In fact, I can't think of any character that could qualify as Sloth at all.

    36. After having read this a third time I highly suspect that there is no second killer. I suspect Spike wasn't even a direct victim of the killer, but committed suicide after Rarity's death. Think of it. We all know what he felt for her. He died in the same place as she did: in her boutique. He is the only victim not associated with one of the seven sins (at least until now) AND he is the only victim who isn't a pony.

    37. Will this be continued?

    38. like for real what the fuck are u guys doing taking my little pony and turning it into some bullshit!

    39. I'm sorry anonymous, this clearly isn't the fandom, no sub-culture for you. I wish you could enjoy it the same way we could, but alas, it is not for everyone. Take care, but please, do not spread hate in our own personal domain. Good day.

    40. I'm really sorry guys, but I've just entered a real shitstorm of a period in my life. I've got most of the next chapter written and will be posting it ASAP but I ask that you guys have just a little bit more patience. Sorry.

    41. Sorry for you Mbulsht...
      But Fuuuuck, this is a good story so far. I applaud you.

    42. Ayone else see the cake in the corner?

    43. The cake is a lie.
      Sorry always wanted to do that.

      Awesome story so far, can't believe you killed me off butstill awesome fic so far.

    44. I'm thrilled that there's a grimlight tag for reals, but how is this not dark? Maybe I'm showin' my naivete.

    45. This comment has been removed by the author.

    46. @Ben

      whoops. wrong comment to delete.

      Anyways, for those who missed it, I was answering the question about the grimlight tag.

      It's there because the second half and ending of this fic will be much lighter than the first, and the ending will be... well, that's for you to see.

    47. I like the story so far. My guess on who the killer is would be either
      Big Mac,
      or Trixie.

    48. I'm calling it right now, the killer is fluttershy, that's what the facts point to.

    49. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ4N7RkxWR4