Summary: Crossette is ponyville's fireworks expert, and draws mostly ire from the townsfolk for her explosions and eccentric personality. Her dream is to one day make a rocket that actually flies without exploding....and she's close to that goal. However discovery always has a price, sometimes very heavy.Light up the Sky
20 comments:
unfinished mind you
ReplyDeletePlease don't forget about this!
ReplyDeleteCrossette's creator begs you!
Crossette just needs a little help. Pinkie Pie can probably convince all her friend to help her. Twilight Sparkle can certainly find a lot of books about chemistry explosive and aerodynamic. Rarity could help to clean up all that mess while Applejack... she can probably help to rebuild the house.
ReplyDeleteFluttershy and Rainbow Dash are both pegasus so they should know a couple of thing about flying that Crossette could have missed when building her rocket. Personally, I think that Rainbow Dash seems more likely to help since he appeared and was a little mean to Crossette.
that's.....not where i was going at all
ReplyDeletecrossette will fix her own problems, thank you.
That was actually on the moving side.
ReplyDeleteSometimes one must lose everything before they can achieve their dreams.
Is the title a Protomen reference?
ReplyDeleteSo awesome....
ReplyDeleteI loved very second of it.
It was beautiful, and incredibly artistic.
Thank you.
added some multimedia elements
ReplyDeleteand no it's not a protomen reference
That was wonderful! I was practically brought to tears!
ReplyDeleteso, who's :DF:?
ReplyDeleteSPOILERS
ReplyDeleteReading this, before I even got to the music part, I totally had the whole October Sky vibe. Good "adaptation" of it; your Crosette's too shallow character-wise, but I was still able to feel a bit of emotion for her during her journey. The ending didn't completely make sense (the name of the rocket), and there were a few grammatical mistakes, but overall, it was a fun read.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteexcellent, constructive criticism!
Could her shallow-ness have been overcome by lingering a bit more on her character, perhaps adding some flashbacks? or is it a matter of the characterization itself being shallow?
also i'm not sure what you meant about the ending, it's the star she looked up at before the launch
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteSPOILERIFIC SPOILERS AHEAD.
Different anon here.
I agree with the other anon, Crosette's character does seem a bit too shallow. I think lingering a bit more on her character before her journey as well as her depression after her house/workshop asplodes would help significantly. As it is right now, I feel for her loss, but if you can make me feel as if it were my own, if everything I had was suddenly taken from me, it make a good fic even better.
Also, in response to the other anon, I think the name you gave the rocket fits, but I think it'd make more of an impact if it referred not only to the stars, but also to the blacksmith and shop owner ponies that made her dream a reality.
Overall, 4.1/5. Would love to see more from you.
Silly Crossette, ponies cannot into space!
ReplyDelete.../salutes Crossette and writer. That was beautiful bro. That's all I can say on this.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely fantastic, friend. I may not be a fan of fanfiction, but I AM a fan of good writing and narrative, and you've certainly reached that. The ONLY thing that detracted the tiniest bit for me were the line breaks in character speech when the same character was still speaking, rather than another character continuing the conversation. And I am inclined to disagree with the other comments in regards to Crosette's "shallow" behavior; she's lived her entire life with one goal in mind, and only becomes more determined after her tragedy. That is something I can respect, not by put off by.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. 4.5/5 from me, personally.
Certainly very feel-good and full of happy vibes, but it's not very well-written. I feel very little investment in Crossette's character; maybe it's just because I've seen this type of character a thousand and one times.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say this story lacks heart or spirit, but I just don't see what makes it special.
This one sent a shiver down my spine, honestly. Including the YouTube link was a great touch. I do agree with the above Anons that it's not quite perfect, but it is very moving.
ReplyDeleteI'm Crossette's original artist, but it seems she's no longer in my hands.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm okay with this!
Their were minor flaws to this yes. But it was so good especially in the ending it gave me chills. With the October Sky theme playing it actually made me tear up at the end. I gave this one of my rare 5 stars.
ReplyDelete