• Story: Perquisition (Update Part 15!)


    [Adventure] OC ponies! Have an Oc pony.

    Author: Diexna
    Description: In an unknown new world filled with mysterious and unexplored dangerous ruins, the story follows Sketch and Kickbolt, two explorers, as they slowly but surely uncover the history explaining what happened in this world. And more importantly, why the pony folk suddenly were brought to it just a little over a century ago.
    Perquisition Prologue
    Perquisition Part 1 
    Perquisition Part 2
    Perquisition Part 3 
    Perquisition Part 4
    Perquisition Part 5
    Perquisition Part 6
    Perquisition Part 7
    Perquisition Part 8
    Perquisition Part 9
    Perquisition Part 10
    Perquisition Part 11
    Perquisition Part 12
    Perquisition Part 13
    Perquisition Part 14
    Perquisition Part 15 (New!)

    Perquisition (All Links)

    Additional Tags: Exploring, Long, Adventure, OC Ponies, Mystery


    Fan Art 




    23 comments:

    1. Hey... its that one pony from the drawfriend!

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    2. OC's really are a hit or miss to me, if the author can display their ponynality well then I think the story is generally will do better as a whole. If not. Well then I don't read it, because there are plenty of ponies out there who do it right.

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    3. Love history mysteries and epics. Might have to give this one a go.

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    4. First part was a bit infodump-y, but this world intrigues me nonetheless. Tracked it so I can read the rest of it when I have time.

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    5. best...picture...ever! also, the story is ok

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    6. Pretty good stuff, and nice OC's.

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    7. >And more importantly, why the pony folk suddenly was brought to it just a little over a century ago.
      >a little over a century ago
      -What nonsense is this ?

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    8. @Shimmer Scroll Well, I'm up to Chapter 3, and clearly the towers are deliberate intelligence tests. All the mechanisms and traps, plus having to solve the puzzles of the first 3 to get the fourth to open can only mean a higher intelligence set this up as a trial of the society. But, who brought them there are why are they being tested? The mysteries to me are first, the glowing castle that brought them harmony when they first arrived, and the selective erasure of their memories. Is this a trial by a bored god? Some artifactual training ground of aliens accidentally activated or still in use by said aliens to test other species, or perhaps even an alien youth training ground abandoned long ago? And if it's a deliberate test, what is the test's purpose for the aliens/gods? To find allies? Threats? Identify competition? Assist in the advancement of other species (though in a rather distant and callous manner, considering the lives of individuals are lost in the process). The purpose of this entire world as a test is clear, the reason for the test and who created it are the mysteries.

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    9. I hope you're enjoying the story so far!

      I'm pretty happy with how it's turning out so far, but there's still plenty left to go.

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    10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    11. @Diexna

      There, now.

      The two posts above are both me (author), but I'm trying to figure out which account I'll be using for the old comment system, since I was apparently using one not compatible with it for the new comment system here on EqD.

      Sorry for spamming with comments. Just know that from now on I'll be using this account for posting here.

      I hope you enjoy the story! Please leave a comment and rate! :3

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    12. @Alondro: I'm through Chapter 7, and it's definitely starting to look that way. It puts me in mind of Star Trek: Judgment Rites, which had a similar story arc running the length of the game. It was definitely one of the best games I've ever played. Hear that, Diexna? You're in prestigious company; keep up the good work!

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    13. @Shimmer Scroll
      See, now, it's comments like these that makes me want to write more.

      So I'm willing to bet if you people kept nagging on me, I'd maybe do it faster.

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    14. @Shimmer Scroll After analyzing the traps, especially the old, useless poison gas, it really does look like an abandoned alien training ground left active after its makers were gone. The bizarre thing is still the transportation that sent them all there.

      Interesting also is the mix of simplistic mechanical and chemical traps as well as some that are magical. Whatever race created this place could use magic, but also wanted the subjects of the tests to face regular physical threats as well.

      I'm curious as to the nature of some of the monsters as well, namely the organic ones that could bleed. How had they lived in those chambers all that time? Were they in some type of magical hibernation spell?

      And then this mysterious pony, and the watching shadows. New mysteries on top of old ones! Arg, if only I wasn't so busy and could analyze this more slowly!

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    15. @Diexna Dear me, I just realized, this could be akin to "The Five Doctors" or the older "War Games", this place much like the abandoned game world of the Time Lords.

      If so, a dark purpose might lay behind those shadows' spying!

      And the pony who appeared... *gasp!!* D:

      I can say no more.

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    16. I'm liking everything about this fic so far, and I'm really looking forward to how the mystery develops.

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    17. Just finished chapter 5, and I gotta say that I'm really getting into the setting and the characters so far. Very vivid, descriptive writing fleshes out the world quite well, and I can tell that a lot of time and care has been put into the details and descriptions. The relationship between Sketch and Kickbolt is just adorable, too :D It's so fun to see them arguing like good friends. I look forward to seeing the plot unfold! Nice work, keep it up.

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    18. Wow this is great, I wasn't sure about the theme but I think you just converted me to a "Brony"!

      I love the character interactions and the mystery that is unfolding.

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