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Author: PonyToast
Description: Rainbow Dash upsets all of her friends and wishes she was never born.A Hearth's Warming Miracle
Additional Tags: Heartwarming, Holiday, Sad, Short, Dawwwwwww
Description: Rainbow Dash upsets all of her friends and wishes she was never born.A Hearth's Warming Miracle
84 comments:
This sounds interesting... reading it now
First!
tag derp
Defiantly does sound interesting im surprised their isn't a sad tag with a photo like that!
>Labeled as 'Not-fanfiction'
wat
awwwwwwwwwww! i love that pic of rainbow, i wanna give her a big hug.
Tagged as non-fanfiction...?
The description sounds like it could be really tragic. But I see "Dawww" in the additional tags so I'm drawn in.
I hate, HATE, to be unkind, but this story was so ham-fisted I could put two slices of bread around it and call it a Baconator.
Aside from that, it was well-written enough.
I stared at the Description for 10 minutes trying to decide if you are just really blunt or actively attempting to farm 1 Stars.
Really cute story, loved it.
The "It's A Wonderful Life" trope has been done to death so many times, but I believe this is one of those stories that actually brought a tear to my eye.
Good work. 5 stars.
Not Not-Fanfiction...
Interesting, I'll have to add to my huge list of fanfics I need to read.
hm i dont like it.
Why is it tagged as Non-fic?
@DPV111
Same here. The description is is the stereotypical "dash depressed" or "dash dies" and "dash suicide."
The author must have been naive. And here come the mass 1 stars. Five starred to combat them.
Subtle. Really, really subtle.
Well up until the last epiphany (if that's what you can call them) I was thinking it would make a great story for next years christmas special. Slightly less dark with that part and it still could be :)
@Zamoonda
Well, I read it first, so have a reason to
I remember hearing this on Celestia Radio, pretty good fic.
Cute story, Celestia is wildly out of character though, I can't believe Trollestia would ever come to Ponyville and do anything useful with her power, that's not her at all. In fact she'd probably push RD even more just to see if she could get her to do the attempt suicide trope.
This fic cuts off before the suicide thing, though, so no worries there.
I found it odd that Nightmare Moon's triumphant return was completely glossed over...
Well thats a rather...blunt description.
Sure, there might be many Dash-centered "let's hurt the protagonist!" stories, but that won't descrease the count of the good ones, only the ratio of the good ones to the not good ones. Y'all shouldn't assume the worst every time.
Sad story, but Happy ending. Sorta reminds me of a certain Christmas story I hear every year about a greedy old man and 3 ghosts *hint hint*
@Fluttershy Lover
I'm not greedy, I just know who to take advantage of.
It's a Wonderful Life! I just read it, and I must say that it is by far one of the best fics I've ever read!
Not dissing the story mind you. Just... wow dude. That Description For a writer you lack eloquence.
The story itself is sweet but incredibly blunt (not as blunt as that description) and built entirely on ultra predictable tropes. It also has some glaring editing problems:
"There, in front of her, was a large being Princess Celestia."
"However, without the guiding hoof of Princess Celestia"
---She refers to herself in the 3rd person now?
Also you kind of had a "and she was never seen again" moment with Scootaloo after the cloud mishap with Rarity... Follow up would be nice.
In addition the scenarios for the other Mane 6 were lacking in emotional impact simply because of how farfetched they all were.
@Sgt Byrd Celestia driving RD to suicide?
Are we watching the same show?
I just D'AWed all over the place.
It'll take days to clean this up!
I should try and make a point with a comment, shouldn't I?
*sigh*
I've been told before that descriptions are very important in first-person stories, but that doesn't mean that you can have so few. However, I like it when a story is short, sweet, and to the point. It's always great to leave the reader wondering, but there needs to be some sort of lead-up.
It's a solid 3/5 = I liked it.
*have so few in third person.
Epic aid fail...
Gee, I wonder what this is a ponification of.
@Oryutzen
She'd never pass up a chance for lulz, regardless of the cost. She sent the mane 6 up against a dragon, they all could have died.
I loved this, but it just..... Didn't seem to flow....
The problem was too forced, I can't buy it.
Cute story. 4 stars. Applejack was (the most) out of character though, IMO.
Fan-fiction tagged as non fan-fiction. Please fix.
Fan-fiction tagged as non fan-fiction. Please fix.
You gave it a not-fanfiction Seth.
I found it pretty good, a nice quaint little story. Yet, I can't help but feel that this was just kind of an over exaggeration.
It felt a little odd that Rainbow would come to wish this when she was just having an off day, everyone has them. It also seemed a little to trivial a matter for Celestia to come in and help, or 'grant her wish'. I doubt she does this for everypony on Hearths Warming Eve, but that's just me.
Pretty good overall though, just a few grammatical mistakes here and there to look out for.
Fluttershy... DEAD??????
*Baawww*
sad dashie! nooooo!
Fluttershy... DEAD??????
*Baawww*
well that was kinda lame....... first off the description sucks...... but the story portrays RD as a complete dumbass...... she crashes every now and then but shes not gonna fuck everything up.....then RD has an epic ego the size of Mother Russia.... she'll never stay foreversad
Tagged as not-fanfiction.
Problem, Seth?
Anyways, the story.
Yes, we've seen this a million times before, but I think this fic was done well enough. However, a few things:
A) The description could use a LOT of polish. Not sure if you can change that, though.
2) "There, in front of her, was a large being Princess Celestia." Perhaps you meant "a large being: Princess Celestia?" Also, the bit where Celestia talks about Twilight not having "the guiding hoof of Princess Celestia" is a bit odd. Since when did Celestia use ileisms?
iii) The story as a whole, while nice, came off as kind of flat. Unfortunately, I can't offer any particular suggestions on this one, since it's more of a style issue than anything else.
Overall, 4/5.
Dammit... this sounds good... but I've had a bit of a sad overload lately what with Bubbles and My Little Dashie...
Oh I'm torn! :(
Aww, that was such a sweet story!
Ah, the obligatory A Christmas Carol parody.
Love it.
No [sad] tag? The fuq?
It was okay, I guess, but I have to raise an eyebrow at Dash contemplating suicide over having a single bad day. Trust me, you need a hell of a lot more than that to really, honestly believe you need to die. Which is basically what never having existed means.
I'm willing to make an exception for the "I wish I'd never been born" thing being equal to suicide for kids under the age of, say, 14, since they generally don't realize the ramifications of that statement, but Rainbow's a lot older than that under even the most conservative estimate.
Nice fic, short and sweet, a good re-adaptation fo It's A Wonderful Life
That was just a perfect story, short, sweet, and very touching. This is why I love Rainbow Dash more than anypony else, she is just so diverse, I wish i had my own little Dashie...
Congrats on getting it published toast :3 woll read later.
The idea...the idea was fine. After all, It's A Wonderful Life is a great story, and there are plenty of good fanfics of various works that do their own interpretations of the story.
This...this was not a good interpretation. The writing was far too direct, the incidents contrived, the characters not truly acting like themselves--especially Rainbow Dash--and...it was a nice attempt, I'll give it that, but I didn't like it.
Which is a shame, because I want to like it, because I do like interpretations of It's A Wonderful Life. Unfortunately, this just wasn't a good one. I do hope the author tries writing again in the future though...I can see that there is potential. The author just needs more practice.
@Everfree
No, as others said, it's more like It's a Wonderful Life. Actually, it has nothing to do with A Christmas Carol at all.
Why does they have the non fan fiction tag if this IS a fanfic?
The impact we have on others is something hard to fathom. It's interesting to imagine ourselves out of people's lives, how would they have turned out, would their situation be better or worse without us? Questions difficult to imagine and potentially without an answer.
Good story, short, sweet and to the point.
This was overall a great interpretation of "It's A Wonderful Life." I could see some of these scenarios playing out in the absence of the sonic rainboom. And like some of you have said, it kind of blows your mind thinking ow the absence of one person (or in this case, pony) can have such far reaching consequences. But like every one else is saying, the story could have definitely used a little more polishing and flow. Granted, it's good to just get right to the point. But it could have been executed a little better. Overall, I'm satisfied.
Oh god that part where they showed fluttershy, and how it would have been different if rainbow wasnt there.....
oh god im still crying ;~;
Why the hell is this tagged Not-Fanfiction? Having this show up with No Fan Fiction mode on sucks. >:(
Very sad, yet also cute and heartwarming. Excellent job!
Well... while the lesson of the story and the general feel of it was pretty decent, it felt more like an excuse to write an "It's a wonderful life"-esque story revolving around another of the countless theories revolving around what would have happened had not the first Sonic Rainboom that Dash accomplished happened at all. Coupled with the fact that some of the dialogue could use some editing, it doesn't exactly give the good image it hopes to give. Still decent however, so I'll give it a 3.
@banjo2E
At no point in this fic did Dash contemplate suicide.
Wishing you had never been born and desiring to end your life are 2 very very different things and I don't understand how anyone can confuse the 2.
Set as "Not-Fanfiction"? Sethisto is the ultimate troll.
Problem is...
It makes it seem like RD's whole value as a pony begins and ends with that stupid Sonic Rainboom.
This needs a sad label...
@RHJunior
I agree. I would have vastly preferred if she'd gotten indignant instead of depressed and the wish had been that she'd never met the others, not that she's never been born. Then we could have seen what their lives would have been like with the Sonic Rainboom but without Rainbow Dash. And she could have seen her own life without her friends that way too.
@Clockwise Gear
To address your two specific points:
(a) Yes, it should be "being: Princess.
(b) The original draft had Dashie being led around by the Faust Alicorn. Prereaders didn't like it so I replaced all refs with Princess Celestia and changed the ending slightly. this is just one I missed.
Glad to see so many liked it.
-PonyToast
Well the fic isn't one that hasn't been done before.
But despite that, and the fact that it could use some polishing, i really enjoyed it.
It was touching.
Good 4 Star Material.
>wishes she was never born
>Heartwarming >Dawwwwwww
-Somehow... I don't quite see this description working with those tags ?
Wow. I can't believe the response to this was so mixed... I thought it was quite well written because it was supposed to be nothing more than a Pony-fied Christmas Carol. In that respect, I think the author did very well. As I read, I visualized it and it all seemed somewhat believable as an obligatory Christmas Carol spoof episode of a show. I think I would have much rather seen this episode than the actual Hearth-Warming Eve we got. This at the very least felt Christmas-y and referenced an often-parodied novel. Before reading the comments, I personally gave this a 5/5.
Forgot to mention, I more or less read it like an episode outline, so I forgave a lot of bluntness and errors.
@Sgt Byrd
Could you all just stop with the "Trollestia" thing? Really, she don't deserve this. We love and tolerate, remember? I know it's a joke, but it's starting to annoy me, and some other bronies.
@Arlax And at the same time, plenty of bronies enjoy Trollestia/Tyrant Celestia. So it's a 'deal with it' thing.
@Rainbow Blitz
You clearly have no idea what A Christmas Carol is then.
@Rainbow Blitz
This did not ponify "A Christmas Carol".
This ponified "It's a Wonderful Life".
I have problems enjoying this story.
Most of it seems to be thrown in my throat, it feels somewhat forced... I think the right word is "blunt" like some ponies said before me. (english is not my first language so hope you can deal with my vagueness or any mistake I might make while trying to express my opinion)
The other thing I didn't like is that this fic makes Dash look like some sort of freaking magical accident that triggered the mane 6 cutie marks and that's it! Like if all the ponies would've been perfectly fine if she was dead but the Rainboom happened anyway. I'm not one who usually jumps and defends Dash but I find hard to believe that her value and influence in life begins and ends with the Sonic Rainboom.
I think you should have used other character for this fic (one who wasn't responsible for such a life changing event), or as DPV111 said, take some artistic licenses and spin this classical tale a bit so we can really see how life would've been without Rainbow Dash, instead of "life without the Sonic Rainboom".
@DPV111
Could be that Celstia is prefering the 3rd person since she's refering to an alternative time-line version of her.
@atzel
Actually, it was explained by @Max Redgrave as an artifict left over from an earlier version of the story where Celestia was not the one acting as the angel.
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