Friday, October 28, 2011

Story: The Birds and the Bees

[Comedy]

Author: theworstwriter
Description: Where DO foals come from? The Cutie Mark Crusaders don't know, but they intend to find out!
The Birds and the Bees

Additional Tags: Where, Do, Foals, Come, From

101 comments:

Jelfes said...

Hahaha, that image alone makes me want to read this, and I definitely will!

Inivicient said...

This could be really funny, or disturbing ...

MaSc said...

must be cute an funny - will read!

Dr. Tran said...

Any cartoon story about this is automatically funny.

Flutterfan said...

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SEX EDUCATION!! YAY!

Dusty the Royal Janitor said...

What's this?
Can it be true?
A COMEDY?!

I... this is so unexpected! I thought we had given up on comedy as a fandom! It was nothing but Grimdark and Sad for so long! This is the best day ever! :D

Nine said...

Yep, this can only end well without any confusion or awkwardness.

Hexplosion said...

As stupid as this was, I still found myself laughing several times.

Marshal said...

Not the bees! AHHHHHHH Ahgarbulagabah my eyes! my eyes! AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHhhhurgh!

DPV111 said...

This is the author who gave us Double Rainbow (The Time Travel one). Heads will asplode.

NinesTempest said...

@Marshal
YOu win all of my internets.

Rekiara said...

Haha, this was pretty awesome.

I laughed especially hard at RD's 'excuse' and the ending.

mycutiemarkisagun said...

"You see, when 2 fillies or 2 colts love each other very much........."

wackyteen said...

this is 5/5 material and i'm not even done.

Nomad Prime said...

This is the best version of RD's sexuality. Ever. Of all time.

Rainbow Dash said...

Oh man, that was hilarious.

SecondJack said...

I LOVE THIS ITS SO MUCH FUN AND KINDA, KINDA, SOMETHING

wackyteen said...

this is a perfect example of why honesty is the best policy.

Lorenzo said...

"Ten minutes later, she had finished explaining, in somewhat unnecessary detail, exactly how a foal is conceived and delivered."

God i laughed!!!

SecondJack said...

THE SOMETHING I WAS TRYING TO SAY WAS AWESOME.. sorry

Markeith said...

Pony Gossip, the CMC rampaging through town trying to earn their cutie marks and failing to do so, Twilight vs. bees, Liarjack, an explanation on where foals come from from Pinkie with too much detail and Trolliesta. My Goodness this fic has everything!!!!

All my stars, take 'em now!!

PonyPonyPonyBrony said...

Funny, but we all know Lyra and Bonbon would never cheat on each other. <3



*CoughDespitethefactthattheyalwaysseemtobehangingoutwithothermaresCough*

Markeith said...

Also, Rainbow Dash probably wishes she hadn't slept through sex education class now doesn't she X3

Harwick said...

Ha! Poor Twilight. Always with the bees. And someone needs to put a filter on Pinkie. Accurate or not, I can only imagine how disturbing the information must be when given with her enthusiasm.

moocow1452 said...

Wait, doesn't the process involve a mirror and parthenogenesis in the Ponyverse?

OminousBrony said...

I read this on FiMFiction. Definitely worth the time to read. With these 3 fillies you should never lie or beat around the bush in order to avoid an awkward situation as it will only turn into a disaster.

ZigZag said...

Oh, god.

I will have to read this.

Tyranoman said...

This is comedy gold, The author should really change his name.

SecondJack said...

@Tyranoman

You can say that again.

Sebiale said...

@Dusty the Royal Janitor
INORITE?!

I'm working on a random (somewhat comedic) one-shot myself.

HieronymusP said...

There are so many ways this could have gone horribly wrong, but it doesn't. Instant 6/5.

SpeedStriker said...

I can just imagine the way Pinkie Pie must have explained the whole ordeal.

Adam Crocker said...

@Nomad Prime

It is oddly plausible that Dash would ignore that sort thing...

P. Pony Ponyson said...

Damnit!
This makes eight! EIGHT!

jay said...

Instant 6 star. After all the grimdark and sad that's been on here, this is a welcome change of pace.

Quilton said...

I'm reading this on my phone at work, and you are going to get me in trouble. Laughing too hard to get anything done.

Dublio said...

I'm going to read this after I get off of work since this was created by the same author who created the massive mind f*** that was Double Rainbow.

4a786e42-0199-11e1-bb71-000bcdcb2996 said...

But.... It still didn't explain how foals are made! I wanna know!

Spark Cloud said...

Lol, that was hilarious. Great to see some brighter FanFic!

Jelfes said...

Amazing. Definitely got my 5 stars!

DPV111 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DPV111 said...

Yup. 5 Stars for head asplodage.

Ragneki5880 said...

Quick and funny, and BEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Everlasting Joy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Everlasting Joy said...

I went in expecting the worst. Thank God I was wrong on all accounts.

Bees. . . everytime I cut to Chris Farley from "Tommy Boy". Every single time!

Vanner said...

This fic simply revels in the glorious insanity that is the CMC vs. Pinkie. 5 stars, my good pony. 5 stars.

Korls said...

this was good. i would like to see the story of lyra an bon bon

Anthony S. said...

lol at the pic. This should be good...

Jomoru said...

The best part is how Rainbow Dash doesn't know

RinellaWasHere said...

"...and Rainbow Dash can have her foal!"

I died.

terrycloth said...

I thought liarjack was a bit out of place. Stubbornly refusing to tell her would have seemed more her style? That was just a little thing though, the story was great.

anname219 said...

oh Celestia I really needed those laughs.
This made my day.

Hobo said...

I haven't laughed so hard at a fic in a long time.

ActionScripter9109 said...

That was hilarious. Also, sexually oblivious Dash is best Dash.

invinible said...

@4a786e42-0199-11e1-bb71-000bcdcb2996

Try checking out http://www.equine-reproduction.com/index.shtml than.

Greenf0x said...

I still love you Dashie, you dont need to know these things to be awesome, all you need to now is flying.

R10t Pol1ce said...

Foals happen when a mare and a stallion who love each other very much share a very special hug, and then a stork delivers the foal eight and a half months later.

It's fun to speculate about reproduction in MLP because you know that it will never, EVER be addressed in the show, so your imagination is free to run wild.

EngineerBrony said...

OMG, this was so good. I was laughing so hard! It just got more and more ridiculous.

Jocuro said...

Karma, Celestia. Karma.

Arcane Scroll said...

This was nearly perfect, although I think the Applejack part was off.

Can someone please do I comic of this, it would be awesome!

Unsuspecting Herd said...

That was funny as hell. Brilliant, especially once Rainbow Dash got involved.

taco said...

I can imagine Pinkie acting out everything in her explanation.

WafflePony said...

When a Mare and a Stallion love each other very much, they can do a special something that creates a foal.

It's really a very irresponsible and nasty thing to do, and all good equestrian citizens should avoid it as much as possible.

When a Mare and a Mare or a Stallion and a Stallion love each other very much, they can do the special thing without creating a foal.

---

There. That's my explanation, and I'm sticking to it.

Austin Yun said...

Great fic, and another 5* one. Wow, is it just me or is the community getting better at this? Or maybe EqD is just getting more selective about which ones get posted, because so many of them are great.

Anyway, I can imagine Pinkie adding a lot of things in her explanation that, while not strictly necessary for making a foal, make the whole process a lot more enjoyable.

IIiime said...

Suddenly, Applejack. Outta no where.

Snowy Flanks said...

This is a very well made one. And pinkie would totally be the one to just tell them with no shame

Melodia said...

@R10t Pol1ce

Well, word of God is that they reproduce 'normally'.

But good god, 441 readers at one point earlier. Crazy.

PropertyofPinkiePie said...

The internet needs more stories like these

ThemsAllTook said...

That was every bit as good as I was hoping.

kawaii kun said...

i was planning on do that history!

Ice Storm said...

I watched this turn to 4.9. Gratz on the 6 star... maybe I should read it when I get the time.

Blinky said...

Nice story. Everyone's reaction was fitting, the oblivious Dash was especially funny. These kind of short and upbeat stories are fun to read. This community could use more of them to balance out all the grimdark.

zaptiftun said...

Ehheheheheheh...very nicely done, a very good read. XD

Stormcaller said...

Lol oh my sweet Celestia! That was GREAT!!! I haven't laughed so hard at a fanfic in awhile. Wonderful stuff! Loved it!

Hydra in a Top Hat said...

This is the best thing.

THE best thing.

Bees are the best running gag.

theworstwriter said...

Oh wow. I'm QUITE surprised to have gotten this big of a reaction.

This was a one night one draft one shot! I just sat down last night and decided not to go to bed until I had written something, and then boom. This happened.

You ponies are crazy.

Ice Storm said...

It WAS at 4.9... Still haven't read it yet.

Talia said...

This was cute and funny! We need more silly one shots like this!

DJilliill said...

*bookmarks to read later*

Kenzamaka said...

I thought it was so-so for a while. Then I lost it at Rainbow Dash. Excellently done, sir! Or madame!

DPV111 said...

@theworstwriter

Well you see, when an author stays up all night with a head full of pony, and touches the keyboard in special ways, a great story can be born into the world!

Yahooeny said...

ALL MY BITS. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

redrck302 said...

when Applejack threatens Dash
I ended...
to the LULZ

Tosxychor said...

@Marshal
If you wrote this before reading, I tip my hat off to you good sir.

Besides, that was an hilarious read for sure, I loved FS and RD in this XD

Dubs Rewatcher said...

I would give this a 4/5.

But that last paragraph was amazing. It was like something out of a Greg Nagan story.

Unknown said...

i feel bad for rainbow dash,also SWEET JESUS CHRIST!.... that is all

Ice Storm said...

This was epic. I finally read it. Win. 5/5 and I hope you get that 6 star back!

Cloudy Skies said...

Why is this so good?

Why?

I don't understand it.

I have no-

I just-

WINNER.

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