• Retired Equestria Daily Staff Section



    Hey guys! Pre-Reader Masked Ferret here. I decided that the staff page desperately needed some updating and polishing so you guys can know who the awesome folks behind all the pony are.

    For an updated list, see the current page. 

    Find all retired members of the EQD staff below! 



    Beebarb: Moderator

    Beebarb's Twitter

    Bio:Joined the fandom in late 2012 shortly after their niece was born, they got into the show by 'The Return of Harmony'.Knows a fair bit about technology (or tries to anyway), prefers older things from time to time.

    They are happy to help, have a bit of fun, or be serious.

    *slaps you with a fish*


    Kryptonlogic: EQD MOUSEKETEER

    Bio: Greetings Programs, I’m Kryptonlogic! I joined the MLP:FiM fandom back in early 2013 after being “forced” to watch a few episodes of the show by a fellow fan. I was immediately hooked on the show and shortly after found my way to the online fandom. Today, I’m writing for EQD and I’m the Social Media Manager for BronyCon. I’ve always loved interacting with people and I find these 2 things to be the best methods for me.

    Outside of MLP:FiM, Kryptonlogic co-runs one of the internet’s largest unofficial Disney websites. If you need someone to help you plan your next Disney vacation, I’m your guy!

    One More Thing… Rainbow Dash is INDEED best pony contrary to what anyone else will tell you here.



    Xyro: DIRECTOR OF MEDIA

    Xyro's Twitter

    Xyro's Interview

    Bio: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... something happened that doesn't pertain whatsoever to Xyro. He came across the pony phenomenon on a computer forum after seeing dozens of rather abnormally hued equines appearing in the avatars of many members. This spawned  what was to be a quick investigation into their meaning, but developed into a two-day marathon of the entire first season. Eventually, and somewhat inevitably, the pastel ponies invaded his home, car, and soul. Corruption became complete at an unrelated convention where an impromptu Pony meetup evolved into a standing-room-only assembly of good friends.

    Currently responsible for coordinating the streams, and making sure they don't get crossed.



    PK: INTERN FOR LIFE

    PK's Twitter 

    PK's Interview

    Bio: Equestria Daily's newest intern, PK was brainwa- er, enslav- uh, I mean hired after he snuck into the office, stole a computer, and posted several updates from a janatorial closet.

    PK joined the fandom in late January, not doing much of anything until March, when he started to write fanfiction. He began bothering Seth all the time to fix small issues in the post. How he became a blog author is a mystery not only to himself but to others around him. Current thinking favors glitches in spacetime.

    In his spare time, PK enjoys playing piano. His favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle.



    Pre-Readers
    (Now in chronological order!)

    Alexstrazsa

    Bio: Conned into becoming a pre-reader since the first call for them, Alexstrazsa has been a slave to Sethisto's iron hoof from the beginning. Since then, he's been involved with more things in the fandom then he really should, and every day he risks going overpone. The cost is great, and the rewards few, but he does what has to be done.



    Polecat

    Bio: Polecat is one of the night shift ponies at Equestria Daily, where she can often be found gleefully dissecting fanfics with her razor sharp wit. A somewhat geeky filly hailing from Baltimare, she found her way to EqD after a disastrous stint in the Royal Guard. How she came to work for Equestria Daily after that is a mystery, even to herself, but she's smart enough not to pass up a good thing. These days she reads fanfics, tries not to eat too many cupcakes, and prays to Celestia nopony finds out why she was discharged.
     
    Uhh...

    The Mechanic

    Bio: Mecha Nicbrony is a composite index based on multiple economic variables. He hails from a distant land where great fiery furnaces heat and twist metal to his will, and sparks fly out into the darkened night. Around him metal clangs to the ground, and air drives great machines that drive home bolts and screws as he repairs the clutch you burned out because you were trying a "Tokyo Drift" in your Nissan Stanza, you ninny. "Mech", as those bold enough to speak his name in his presence call him, became interested in literature early in life when he used a copy of The Cider House Rules to defeat all of his enemies in single combat. He has since joined the ranks of the Equestria Daily Pre-Reader Corp in an effort to attain self-enlightenment, balance his karma, and find talented authors he can hunt for sport.



    HiddenBrony

    Bio: He has no style, he has no grace, this Pre-Reader, writes to his own pace! HiddenBrony, or as he would rather be called, 'Hyde Edenborough Knee,' has the lovely attribute to always be around, but like his name implies, can quickly and easily disappear without a trace. While doing the various oddjobs of the community, Hyde was out and about while traveling from one firing to the next hiring when a letter dropped from the sky. Not one to excuse fate, Hyde tore into somepony else's personal property and found an invitation to Equestria Daily's Pre-reader team, calling the recipient of the letter a 'pony of advanced skill in both literature and story design.'

    Hyde then drawled out some hasty and trite shipfics during the interview process, and then he soon found himself on the payroll of the Equestria Daily pre-readers within minutes. Even more horrid, he's managed to keep his job even though he's been living out of his cubical for the past three months - in which nopony has even noticed.



    Pre-reader #13

    Bio: The pre-reader known as #13 completes his task anonymously due to certain restrictions placed on him by the Fish & Wildlife Bureau. In his youth, he fell in a with a rogue's gallery of obscure essayists who all advocated a form of discourse that involved yelling breakfast cereal ingredients at aquatic mammals. Condemned for minor heresies involving a street-sweeper, aluminum siding, and the original Broadway cast of Oklahoma!, he laid low for a number of years as he travelled the world in the guise of a used sportswear salesman.  #13 began writing fan-fiction during the Monroe administration. He was introduced to the EqD Pre-Reading Staff during a shoot-out in the streets of Istanbul (not Constantinople) concerning the ownership of a time-travelling monkey. He has been lowering the quality of the blog's reviews ever since.


    Nick Nack

    Bio: I try to pay forward the time I use from others' who help me on my work. On top of the reviews I give for personal acquaintances in Ponychan's /fic/ community, I have my advice emporium, a public program to foster one-on-one writing aid.

    I preread for Equestria Daily as a crossroads between helping others improve their writing (sometimes, part of improvement is being told you're not good enough,) but also to keep me involved in the show and the happenings of the fandom. After all, I'd scarcely be helpful if I didn't know what happened past when I stopped enjoying the show.

    So stop by my emporium for advice and I'll help you. Or submit a story to Equestria Daily, and I might measure you.

    Or do neither. Either way, I hope you keep writing.


    Pre-reader Who Is Also A Bear

    Bio: Grrrr. GRRRAAAAAAAAWR. Hrrrr grrrrrrrr grawr aaaaoooooooohhhh. Aoooh. Aoooooh. OOOOAAAAAWR. Rrrrrrr.



    Seattle Lite

    Bio: Seattle_Lite is the staff alcoholic. Besides obsessing over what illegal substance he wants ingest next and writing disturbing, horrific fan fiction (Moving On, not Divergence), he also pre-reads for Equestria Daily, belching out some semblance of a comment for the ficboxers to organize into coherent speech before returning to his drunken slumber, usually accompanied by one of the many local working girls. The snoring keeps everyone awake at the office, and eventually, one of the staffers could take it no more, and set Seattle's bed out into the middle of the street, hopefully to be crushed by some van or tour-bus full of Japanese schoolgirls. But alas, this was not meant to pass, and Seattle returned to the office, now sleeping in the ceiling tiles so nobody can remove him without risking being crushed.
     


    Twilight Snarkle

    Bio:  Snarkle makes marsupials cry. Especially wombats.

       He shot both JFK and JR, knows where Hoffa is, invented New Coke, and told Mary Kate and Ashley they could act. He is personally and directly responsible for the French. He throws rabid chinchillas into retirement home socials. He switched the decaf for regular. He wears briefs. He has a sea monkey named Clive.

       He instructs small children in the finer points of armpit-music. He tears the tags off mattresses, marks heavy packages C.O.D., and has an extensive collection of Gone With The Wind memorial plates.

       He invented AOL's marketing campaign, genetically engineered Bill Gates, and sold off his controlling share of Mac stock when investors were nervous. He wrote Verant's "Vision" and promptly began negotiations with Sony.

       One word: Teletubbies.

       He wipes his arse with holy texts, corrupts nuns into posing for Playboy, tells Sunday school children about the virtues of Ayn Rand, and can belch 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic'.

       He is an interesting shade of rhubarb.

       He formats the 37th disk of 38-disk installs. He is the fly in the ointment, the bee in the bonnet, and the ants at the picnic.

       He is the reason American beer sucks, and why they cancelled Punky Brewster but let The Facts of Life wallow for several seasons.

       He makes colors run in the wash, sweaters shrink in the dryer, and socks disappear at will. He made sure that human males only had enough blood to run one 'important' organ at a time. He invented corduroy slacks for chubby children.

       He wrote Britney Spears' songs. He convinced Barry Manilow and Tom Jones to redo old Beatles hits. He scratched your CDs before you bought them.

       He knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

       And he loves you all.


    Cold In Gardez

    Bio: Cold in Gardez was unanimously voted the pre-reader with the most nonsensical pen name, and he rode that victory to a successful career impersonating Twilight Sparkle at writing conventions. Every moment of his life is spent in fear that someone, somewhere, is about to finish and publish a story on the exact same topic as whatever he is currently writing. He specializes in comedies, magical realism, and emotionally manipulating his readers with shamelessly overused tropes. His hobbies include reading, writing, and making lists of people who have wronged him.



    Amacita

    Bio: Amacita is the byproduct of certain industrial processes. He was raised in Sandy Hook, New Jersey and lowered in Berwick, Pennsylvania. It was there that he was recruited at an early age to admonish stoplights for their churlish attitudes. He gained an interest in literature when he was challenged to single combat by a second-edition copy of Anne of Green Gables. He was recruited to join the EQD Pre-Reading staff after it was discovered that he was, in fact, not Burl Ives. Amacita divides his time between his studies in the field of advanced monkey lubrication and his charitable advocations of handing out vintage automobile parts to passersby on the street and defending the civil rights of creamed corn.  


    Bradel

    Bio: It took twelve clever stallions and three quarters of a cheese wheel to perfect the algorithm that animates Bradel Bound. Early trials were performed in Japan, where the algorithm was used to teach interpretive dance to impoverished beet farmers. For reasons that remain unclear, a beautiful young nun provided new subroutines that allowed the algorithm to emulate natural language—and to love. The algorithm set out on an epic quest of self-discovery, making many new friends and learning about the magic of fanfiction.


    The Mysterious Pre-reader Do-Well

    Bio: His OC is an alicorn, and that's okay. He once reviewed seven fics and wrote the same scathing review for all of them, in which each individual author then thanked him and offered their daughters for retribution. He rides to work every day on a manticore's back... and rides home standing regally on top of Sethisto's head.

    He is only known as the Mysterious Pre-Reader Do-Well.




    Burraku Pansa
    A baffling, bipedal ape-thing, pre-reader Pansa is known more for how unknown he is than for anything else. When he's not tripping and falling headfirst (only having two feet will do that) into new positions of authority, he does his best to trip and fall into publishing. More often than either, though, you're liable to find him just sort of standing there.

    Past his vacant stare and monotonous grunting, pre-reader Pansa has a wealth of experience telling people that they've messed something up, and he's excited to bring that go-getter attitude to this role.


    Retired Pre-Readers


    Moronsonofboron

    Bio: MoronSonOfBoron hasn't been prereading since summer 2011. When he isn't shunning humanity or drawing softcore porn, he can be found in the place good little bronies shouldn't go. If you must seek him out, bring fifteen cents, a nail, and the shell of a great-great-great grandfather snail.



    Moonlight Harmony

    Bio: A quiet individual that is often a ghost around the staff, he has been a pre-reader since it's inception and maintains an optimistic view when reviewing, helping to give stories a second opinion or a first when submissions fall behind. Friendly and open, he continues to try to do his best in getting to know the others on the team and doing his job as a pre-reader as well. Both a mediator and observer, he does what he can to keep some semblance of peace, something that is increasingly difficult as the team continues to grow. Change is inevitable but it is both welcome and something that gives reason to be cautious moving ahead.


    Midnight Shadow: Pre-Reader and Fallout Equestria/Conversion Bureau Specialist

    Bio: Long a controversial topic of discussion among New England lobster fishermen, the world at large first became aware of Midnight shadow when he debated Iggy Pop and a bag of Gummi Bears(TM) over the topic of obscene cereal production techniques in the European Union. During his university days he famously used logic to disprove the existence of Pat Sajak, and founded the western world's only competitive whale-insultng team. After a few months touring with Eiffel 65 he deserted the europop scene in order to concentrate on his efforts to develop sentient forms of housing insulation. His love of literature stems from his possession of one of the few remaining copies of Fucard's Minor Plumbing Heresies of 14th Century Constantinople. As one of the most dedicated pre-readers, he's been known to arrive at the homes of other pre-readers and stare at them balefully until the pervading sense of unease makes them review more stories.




    Krypqe Forgetterson

    Bio: Krypqe is one of the many bronies roped in by /b/ over on 4Chan. He became a brony upon a day in Feburary, a week or so before 'the bannings' happened, or whatever they're supposed to be called. Anyhow, the ponies captured his heart, and he's been a devout member of the pony cult (We're a cult, right?) ever since. Whilst stalling over his final year of A level exams (Yes, in the real world,) he decided to re-kindle the fan-fic writer within him, and type away about said ponies instead of studying like any good student like Twilight Sparkle would. (Krypqe is not a good student. However, He did pass most of his subjects, despite the ponies' best efforts.) 

    Foolishly, whilst sending the first chapter of his fanfic in, he accompanied it with the line: "P.S. Also, If you're ever running low on Pre-readers/Proof-readers, I can lend a helping hoof."

    And then, that was it. He's been swimming around in fan-fics ever since, doing his best to review what he can, even with his status of #1 procrastinator in all of England.
    Despite what he may have you think, he loves it, and is really bloody happy at the moment.



    Hawksyu

    Bio: Hawksyu (Previously: prereader 3.pi) is a common misspelling of Hawkysu.  Hawkysu made his writing debut with "Rejection."  When the call for prereaders went out, he bravely signed up to battle the tide of fanfics.  He wrote a few more stories, ran a podcast, and edited a butt-ton (equal to a regular ton, but measured in butts) of stories.  After a couple years of service, he finally retired to "get some of that college stuff."  Hawkysu can now be found wondering on campus in a stupor, wishing he'd been paid for all that work.



    Blueshift

    Bio: Blueshift is the best pony ever. He enjoys writing stories in which ponies are inanimate objects that love each other, or try to kill each other. His main ambition is to move from being 'the jAaM guy' in Transformers fandom to being 'that guy who writes weird lobster porn' in the pony fandom.


    BronyCray

    Bio: "Brony Cray worked with EQD, Bronycon, and 4chan in the early days of the fandom before leaving for greener pastures. He still swears he will one day finish his magnum opus fanfiction, but writing about cartoon ponies is hard when you don't really follow cartoon ponies anymore. In these days of his retirement, he's happy to pass the torch to newer fandom members and still hangs around to bother his old prereader buddies from time to time."



     Nathan Shepard

    Bio: Author of seven stories featured on EqD, he holds the dubious honor of having written the first fanfic to ever be posted on the blog! Joined the fandom January 7, 2011. Became a pre-reader on June 23, 2011



    Daffodil

    Bio: Daffodil was buried at sea seventeen miles southeast of Halifax, Nova Scotia on March 23rd, 1954 following a horrific accident involving seven tons of herring paste, a rhesus monkey, and the original Broadway cast of Oklahoma. His dying soliloquy is considered the greatest post-war work of neo-classical Latin beat poetry. Local legend states that his ghost can often be seen preaching to the local dolphin population about the evils of the metric system.



    Ninestempest

    Bio: Attention yay! Hi there, I'm Ninestempest. I first discovered ponies in mid-february (some friends linked "The Greatest Moment in Cartoon History" on his facebook. I was entranced), and started frequenting /b/ (I used to frequent /vp/ and /v/, so migrating to /b/ was easy!) again for pony threads. That was fun for a while. Then I asked somepony for fanfiction because I was getting the itch to write fanfiction (I have awful terrible mary-sue deus-ex filled pokemon fanfiction from just two years ago, eugh) around early march, and somepony linked me Equestria Daily. And, uh, nothing important in my life has been accomplished since. The archive was amazing, I liked the news that was coming up, and writing fanfiction for the blog and the fandom was enjoyable. I started taking it upon myself to read... basically every fic that was posted for a few months, attempting to review as much as possible. I noticed some authors wanted help pre-reading, so I volunteered for some of these positions (I helped for lots of Memories of Days Long Past), and eventually saw that Seth wanted more pre-readers. Having just completed my third fanfic for the fandom, I emailed him, and bam, here I am. Been pre-reading since June 23rd. Whoop.




    Pineapple Skitter

    Bio: After being hooked into the fandom with a pony/starcraft 2 crossover, Pineapple stumbled onto Equestria Daily and started submitting terrible fanfic. After a post about the ridiculous queues of content that gets sifted through, he thought about giving something back to the community... so joined the pre-readers!

    Since then Pineapple has tried to keep up with the artists and writers training grounds on deviant art in the desperate hope he can write/draw something to be proud of. In the meantime, he plods through the inbound fanfics and does his best to pick out the gold, and offer tips on shining everything else.


    Kits

    Bio: Kits is a computer engineer whose special talent is radars and rockets. She sort of fell into that field one day and BAM: cutie mark. Which is an apt description of how she came to work for blogpony in the first place. She's currently working off the debt she incurred when a rocket propelled mishap ended up with Equestria Daily missing a wall and an entire days worth of fan fiction going up in smoke. Health and Safety is still trying to decontaminate that section of the building and doesn't know if it'll ever be habitable again. Apparently she's doing a decent job with this pre-reader gig since nopony holds it against her and she's not visiting Midnight on the moon.



    Narwhal's Bend

    Bio: "I'm the size of a bus and can attract females with my horn. I also love halibut and communicating with a series of loud squeals, trills, and clicks."



    Benman

    Bio: Benman is a big fan of ponies and a bigger fan of the brony community that sprang from the internet, like Athena from the head of Zeus. He struggles to balance his pony time between reading fanfiction for fun, reading fanfiction to offer ostensibly insightful critiques, and getting his own writing out the door. His favorite stories usually contain melodrama, humor, and/or adorableness. When not thinking about ponies, he... oh, who are we kidding? He's probably thinking about ponies right now.

    NTSTS

    Bio: NTSTS is a pretentious jerk. He is a lover of big words, meaningful prose, music, and equine anatomy. His favorite horse is Ponka Pone, and he enjoys when horrible things happen to good (and bad) ponies. He does not like your story.


    Ebon Mane

    Bio: Ebon Mane lurks the dark hallways of the Equestria Daily offices at night, slinking from room to room with his big, red 'REJECTED' stamp and waging a constant war against words and the people who write them. His shriveled, black core holds no pity, only heartburn. Every time your fic was rejected unfairly, every time your favorite fic couldn't make the cut, every time a prereader clearly didn't understand your OC's greatness... he did it. He even rejects fics from his favorite authors and his fellow prereaders. He likes to write stories that make people cry and start multi-chapter fics, write enough to get people interested, and then never finish them. He probably makes more money than you, but you can tell that he doesn't work as hard. He never holds the door open. Your hatred only makes him stronger.



    Argembarger

    Informgation: this person is called argembarger on the internet and one time he decided who to got to live or die in a online horse storeybook world as gateskeper in the front of the queue line. maybe you wrote a story that didnt make it? sorry? if you made it in youre welcome though no prob he got your back. he also wrote a story of spingerse now to be an hbo special feater after the primetime classic bresking bad staring danien day louise.

    he doesnt the previous parageraph anymore because of a video game programming lifestyle though alright :(??



    Keiro

    Bio: The derpiness that is the Keiro knows no bounds. Often found reading, tinkering with things, the derpmeister is one known to flit off into the great unknown and reappear at the strangest of times. When asked what one should do, his response is usually, "LET THE DERPENING COMMENCE!"




    Vimbert

    Bio: Vimbert wandered into the offices of Equestria Daily one day, carrying a small mound of papers with his reviewing experience and published stories with him and muttering something about "killing the grammatical unbelievers for the coming glorious dawn." Security also had to relieve him of several items, the nature of which could not be printed.

    Despite of (or perhaps because of) his eccentricities, he fit right in with the pre-readers, and can frequently be found in or around the break room, looking at stories while drinking from a flask, often ranting to anyone nearby about whatever awful or awesome thing is in whatever he's reading. The most common response of the staff is to mumble something to the equivalent of "Uh huh Vimbert... I'm sure that you don't like that story just because it has one of the ships you like... Oh, yes, I'm sure Twilight having a dream about Celestia holding her while murmuring poetry in her ear is symbolic of all kinds of—LOOK, A MOOSE!" then quickly grabbing a cup of coffee and leaving.



     Cassius

    Bio: Known for despising anything and everything to exist, ever, Cassius is the staff curmudgeon. His colleagues regard him fondly from his territorial trappings of the upper attics, making certain to avoid letting him know when anything good or amusing happens. In some display of cosmic irony—Princess Luna’s involvement is widely suspected—Cassius managed to produce the hilarious fiction “A Game of Twits.” In between viciously crushing the dreams of aspiring writers and reviewers alike, Cassius spends most of his time lurking the darker corners of the Equestria Daily offices, most likely seeking out new hiding places for the bodies of those who taunt the color scheme of his OC.



    Drakmire

    Bio: Three out of every seven American homes already have a Drakmire of some variety, usually in a spare drawer or kept in the garage. Drakmire has many principal uses, including (but not limited to): an industrial lubricant, an exfoliant, and a salad garnish. He became interested in reading and literature at an early age, as he was raised by a copy of The Old Man and the Sea. He is noted in many circles for being noted in many circles. His pioneering work studying the philosophical and theological underpinnings of dental floss have earned him seven degrees from prominent universities: four earned, two honorary, and one taken at gunpoint. Drakmire became an Equestria Daily pre-reader when he and his future self both asked to have their parking validated. The actual hiring was the clerical error that resulted. He currently lives in the air ducts of the National Air and Space Museum where he makes models of suburban shopping malls out of household cleaning supplies.



    Chrome

     Bio: There was a PRE-READER here. It's gone now.


    Dub


    Samurai Anon

    Bio: I enjoy literature and the benefit it brings to all those that practice it. I have done what I can to ensure it improves in all facets, fan or original. I can only hope my efforts will help you.



    Mystic

    Bio: Way too young and (probably) grossly unqualified, Mystic was forced to use every single sneaky, devious and underhanded technique he’s picked up at law school to swindle, cheat and con his way into the pre-reader position. He is a lover of clean and emotive prose and a sworn enemy of dull writing and a lack of narrative technique. When he isn't drowning himself in reviews, he occasionally likes to throw some words together and shake his head at the result, writing almost exclusively high fantasy or post-apocalyptic adventure. While he will read and review just about anything, any 'sad' stories that cross his desk better be amazing, for if there is one thing Mystic can't stand, it's poorly executed and overdone emotion.

    He likes to laugh way more than is necessary and is a firm believer that practice and determination makes perfect. He also comes from Australia, which is the best country ever.



    Mourning Zephyr

    Bio: This space intentionally left blank.



    Voile

    Bio:  Pre-reader Voile served a brief three-month stint at the beginning of 2014. Formerly a regular of Ponychan's /fic/, he brought deconstructive analysis to his decisions: if you were rejected, at the very least, you'd have in-depth reasons for it, and some direction on where to go from there. An eventful semester unfortunately put an end to most pony commitments, and so he lurks in plain sight on Fimfiction, still reviewing and bringing exposure to worthwhile fics.