Thursday, January 5, 2012

Story: Hell's Angels (Upate Part 2!)


[Grimdark][Adventure][Shipping]

Author: Zamoonda
Description: After an inexplicable explosion ripped apart the Everfree Forest, the sun that blessed Equestria and its neighboring kingdoms and city-states has evaporated, and Celestia was gone with it. Few remain upon the Earth to ponder if it was mere coincidence, or what was the royal army doing so close to the forest. A unicorn, a griffin, and several uncanny companions begin an epic journey to ask, answer, and cheat the question through will, loyalty, and pure luck: What happened to Equestria?
Hell's Angels Part 1
Hell's Angels Part 2 (New!)

Additional Tags: Time Travel, Mane Six, Long.

32 comments:

ftfc said...

I've seen this image alot.
also BOOM!

Jelfes said...

Sounds interesting enough, I'll give this a read.

My Little Phony Fiendship is Tragic said...

Hey, Sethiso, you there? I sent two emails. ;)

My Little Phony Fiendship is Tragic said...

@Applebloomismywaifu
Who cares? It's annoying too.

@Me *Sethisto*

ThunderIce said...

Although I generally stay away from grimdark, this definitely looks interesting. On an unrelated note, why was the RSS icon removed from the right sidebar?

ajc said...

Am I the only one having problems
Opening the story?

Zamoonda said...

Oh god this is published, time to hide.

@ajc


Oh, what do you mean? There should be a link in there to the story (because the page derped, somehow.)

Zamoonda said...

@Zamoonda
And I forgot to give you the direct link, derp.

Here it is, if you are having difficulties opening the initial document.

https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B1zC1Gv0NHeaYzk1NzFmYzctYzQzMS00ZGY1LWEwN2UtOWI0Y2EwOTg4NGQ3&hl=en_US

ajc said...

@Zamoomda
Still didnt work but thanks anyways. I think because
I'm on my iPhone but other story's work for me

Zamoonda said...

@ajc

Oh I think I know the reason. Try the alt. document.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1773KC2VykCZfvkUKZ00k1myhE9O8AAEUdQXqjaJLxyw/edit?hl=en_US

chappers27 said...

I have read so many stories today... And now another cool looking one! A grimdark shipping story is best story

iisaw said...

Uhmn... sounds like a cool premise but the summary is confusing and not very well-written (By "convenience" I assume you mean "coincidence" and... "cheat the question"?... I've got nothing.)

That sort of first impression doesn't exactly make me want to rush to read it.

ajc said...

@zamoonda
It worked. Your awesome

Lulzaccount said...

Fanfic is good, but I wonder why is there so many grimdark stories in the fandom? Is Equestria really such an attractive scene for massive destruction, death and despair?

Visiden Visidane said...

First thing that came to mind from the title was a gang of biker ponies.

AlexReffand said...

@Lulzaccount

Rule #58: The more beautiful and pure something is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.

Present Perfect said...

This is the kind of grimdark I love: post-apocalypse. It starts off with a really good hook and I can't wait to see more. :D

DPV111 said...

Sounds intriguing from a plot standpoint, but if the writing in the fic is as bad as the writing in the description I would consider this unreadable.

Zamoonda said...

@DPV111

Have no fear, the description has received absolutely no revision since the first draft other than replacing a word and replacing the semicolon with a colon. I had completely forgotten about it, which is why it is poorly written — please accept my apologies on the situation.

DPV111 said...

@Zamoonda

Ah great to know.
If you do revise it, would you consider adding a minor content disclaimer? I am a strong advocate of slightly descriptive content disclaimers being posted to stories with the Grimdark tag. This helps people avoid certain content that is distasteful to them as well as well as letting people who fear the worst know that a story is OK for them to read. The tag is used for too wide a scope of content for people to be judging if a story is for them by the tag alone.

Zamoonda said...

@DPV111

I'll be sending the fixed synopsis with the next update. And you are completely correct, I'll add after a break something along the lines of, say,

"[Grimdark] tag contains post-apocalyptic environment, several combat scenes, some descriptions of corpses, as well as bloodied scenes."

Fair enough Or what did you have in mind?

danielmajors1 said...

None of the links work, but ill check in the updates for this story, sounds good

DPV111 said...

@Zamoonda

No that works fine IMO. Non-specific so as to avoid spoilers, but informative enough to let readers know what to expect.

The main things to watch out for are main character death, explicit gore, torture, rape and character corruption (portraying a good character as evil without plot defined reason).

I've read stories where Nightmare moon attempts to rape Twilight, Tyrant Celestia rapes Rainbow Dash, and Twilight is subjected to physical, emotional, psychological and sexual torture.
These are all on EqD and theONLY reason I read them is because there was NO INDICATION AT ALL that these things were in the story until the relevant scenes.

Zamoonda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zamoonda said...

@DPV111
Have no fear, I can't even call a scene I wrote in a draft of Chapter 3 torture, no matter how I try. There is no explicit gore, nor rape. The only thing I can tell you is that there will be plenty, and I do mean plenty of deaths. I suppose I'll add 'death' to the list.

Torpluss said...

I must say, this was quite epic, looking forward to the continuation of this series. 3,9/5 is a suprisingly bad score for something of this caliber, this definatly deserves to be between 4 and 5 somwhere, at least in my opnion.

DPV111 said...

The low rating is probably due to a group of vigilante trolls who low star anything with tags they find objectionable.

Basically the Shipping tag os star death for any story for a month now, Grimdark tag to a lesser extent.

I think it's about time we stop allowing anonymous voting as we did anonymous commenting. That and monitor the voters for obvious troll behavior.

The Editor said...

It could do with a bit of improvement, but I think you should do, contact me at the theeditor42@gmail.com if you're up for a collab project. Just tell me, do you like Sci-Fi, and more importantly what do you know about Warhammer 40,000?

Zamoonda said...

I'm sorry that it's taking so long, life's not been kind to me. But the next chapter should be up soon, and a future reference to everypony — I do not create OCs unless I have no other choice. That is to say, I have to make OC wolves, OC griffins, and so on (because I hate Gilda [and Trixie], but shh). So long as I have no other choice (for some reason), no pony would be an Original Character, and if we have background griffins, dogs, or other such race that I might implement in the future, then they will also be present as well. If you're not certain of a name (let's say Davenport), simply look them up in the MLP Wikipedia. I.e. mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Davenport

Lord Pimpington said...

I like the idea, but like The Editor said, it needs a little work. Feels too disjointed. Espacially when it comes to who is doing what. Not trying to get you down, I do like it, just needs brushing.

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