Monday, November 28, 2011

Story: She Will Be Loved (Update Part 4!)


[Sad]

Author: Strange Phantasm
Description: A chain of events leads the Cutie Mark Crusaders to discover a terrible secret locked away beneath Canterlot Castle. A secret that will change the history of Equestria, forever.
She Will Be Loved Part 1
She Will Be Loved Part 2
She Will Be Loved Part 3
She Will Be Loved Part 4 (New!)

Additional Tags: Grief, Love, Hope, Friendship, Magic

59 comments:

wackypony said...

hey, a chapter format. me gusta.

Dublio said...

I love Scootaloo fics. -hugs-

DJ-Pinkamina said...

Love that song <3 but I'm not in the mood for sad

Pinkamina Diane Pie said...

Hmm, interesting. Will read later.

rainboom91 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DerpyHooves91 said...

Sad Scootaloo? It's always that or a chicken joke. May read, sounds interesting.

mrsteroids said...

more scootabuse? >_>

ScootaDash said...

+ 5 Internets to the first commenter for not saying first.

GaruuSpike said...

Ohhh boy. Sad tags are a reppellant for a lot of people, but they are a MAGNET for me. I absolutely must read every sad story I see on this website. Because I love that feeling of empathy they cause.

Will read, after I finish my physics homework. guhhhh

The Numberman said...

Scootaloo
Sad

Why do we love making Scoots sad so often? Gonna read this later.

DPV111 said...

Sad tag just means there is sad content not that the entire story is sad or has a bad ending. Big difference between a Scootasad story where Dash finds out she is an orphan and adopts her and A Scootasad story where she dies alone and everyone cries, the end.

The description for this sounds like neither of those but who knows what future chapters have in store.

DPV111 said...

Oh and authors? Please stop referencing the G3.5 Scootaloo slogan. It gives me nightmares.

Heavybull said...

lol read all 5 chapters so far, its pretty good and is making for a decent story. just to quell a bit of the "sad" turnoff thoughts, has nothing to do with scootaloo dying, has to do with her life, and its not a constant downer

Timber said...

Grrr it's not loading for me. Just takes me to my doc history.

RDash said...

This is great so far, keep up the good work!

Half_A_Taco said...

-spoiler-


Oh is Scootaloo gonna learn necromancy?
I hope she learns necromancy... *gasp* maybe she will use it to bring back her dead mother 0.0 or at least try.

Salzvatik12 said...

I really love this story. The OC pony I've seen so far is really, really cool.

Pinkamina Diane Pie said...

Agh! It takes me to my fic history! (which is probably about as long as the fic, sadly)

THEjetking said...

Call me crazy, but the sad, character-bending, somewhat possible concepts always make me really happy.

THEjetking said...

Call me crazy, but the sad, character-bending, potentially possible stories always make me really happy.

THEjetking said...

sorry for the double post, log-in glitch.

Strange Phantasm said...

Hey guys, author here. Thanks for the comments so far. Since some people seem to be having problems with the story loading, here is the address for Chapter 1. I've added forward/back links at the bottom of the chapters as they apply. Once again, thanks for reading!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1P9WK8HgO5ZU4hHQUJrXTgbP2YG42ohoPWHv7bWxDMl0/edit

Ogopogo said...

Just confirming that so far it appears not to be a "sad" story in a sense. You could nearly toss in the adventure tag too.

I believe the sad stems more from Scootaloo's family.

Yelliaes said...

I can't believe what is happening here. I was gasping at every shocking bit. I want MOOOOAAARR!!

Strange Phantasm said...

Oops, looks like that was the wrong one. Here is the correct address.

https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=1P9WK8HgO5ZU4hHQUJrXTgbP2YG42ohoPWHv7bWxDMl0&sort=name&layout=list&pid=0B-XykMIHqKPRNzA3MTc2OTItNmE0Zi00YzY5LWEzZTgtYjBlNjEwYmViYTAw

Olivier 'LuaPineapple' Hamel said...

I'll be keeping an eye on this one for sure. I do wish the chapters would be longer.


I'm also glad it's actually consistant with other fanfics (looking at PMW specifically, even complements it to a degree), whether intended or not.

Zexoguy said...

Awesome story so far. I'll definitely keep an eye on it.

infohippie said...

Has poor Scootaloo ever had a happy fic? EVER?

Aullie96 said...

One of the most interesting plots I've ever read in a mlp fic. Although the story isn't really sad. More like light grimdark or maybe even tragedy. It even has its humorous momments from time to time

Phantom240 said...

Stunningly well written. I want more!

Phantom240 said...

@Aullie96
It is merely the first act, my dear.

Naly said...

@Half_A_Taco
Wouldn't she have to be a unicorn to use magic? She will prolly end up aiding in the spell somehow, though.

Anyway, I finished reading chapter 5, and was like "Oh crap. Some serious shiz is going to go down in the coming stories."

I will be waiting eagerly for the next act. :3

jeff said...

i really want to know what happens next... bleh i hate having to wait....

game_girl_1993 said...

I adore that picture you have there, it's so dang pretty and makes me wanna hug the both of them!

So far, I really enjoy this story. I've come to find if i can hear the actual characters from the show talking when you are reading the story it isa very big plus. Or I'm just crazy.

Have to say the plot twisting will be interesting to see play out. Keep up the good work~!

hookshot12354 said...

Wow, this is really good. The new character is awesome, and I cannot wait for more.

Wheelz said...

Must read next Act II!!! Hopefully it will be on EQD as an update so I don't forget.

Melodia said...

Is this really even sad? It's more just drama so far.

The summary and title drew me in, and so far pretty good. I hope it doesn't go in a truly sad direction as it could....but...huh.

OtterMatt said...

It's good. The chapters are really short, so I kinda get ejected from the story just as I'm getting into it, but I like what I'm reading so far. It's certainly original. Gonna see where this one goes in the future.

mycutiemarkisagun said...

lol all the cool sadfics are named after a sad rock song nowdays

Ryllian Dash said...

you left out Pinke Pie when you introduced the mane cast to Twilight's parents :p

read the first five chapters. you built the plot, felt a little rushed, but then again its better than being bogged down in 15 pages of details. but the story just didnt grab me. Chapter five idk, I just think Luna, being an immortal goddess of unimaginable power could of done something more, not to mention Dash could of just flew and caught scoots. the "bottomless" pit would have enough room for Dash to catch up and get Scootaloo. all this to a chained up and unable to use his magic unicorn. idk. I guess the suspension of disbelief to advance the plot wasnt there for me.

TL;DR good story but not for me.

keep writing! never want to discourage talent as the story was pretty well written so far.

Strange Phantasm said...

Sorry you didn't like it, can't please everyone I guess. Thanks for catching the bit about Pinkie Pie though, it's fixed now.

MaSc said...

pretty good so far... please hold this quality in the next chapters :D

jeff said...

whARE IS THE NEW ACT I WANT IT NOAW!!!!

markus jussila said...

ACT 2! NAO! That was SO awesome.

The Old Dog said...

I've really enjoyed the story so far, but as an English major a couple of decades past, I have to get this out of my system: one winged pony is a pegasus; two or more winged ponies are pegasi (some use pegasuses, but that just doesn't seem eloquent enough). It's like hippopotamus and hippopotami.

Praise Celestia for Applejack, the voice of equine reason. That scene could have gone south really fast if she hadn't been there to keep things in perspective.

And poor Spike. He's going to have faced a lifetime of drama before his wings even bud. Thank goodness he's up to it.

Really good story so far. Looking forward to the continuation.

Strange Phantasm said...

Strange Phantasm again.

Fixed all instances of pegaproblems. I hope. Once again, the author would like to thank his readers for creative criticism.

I'd also like to apologize to the readers for not finishing the work before submitting. Honestly I wasn't expecting to have such a great response. For Act 2 I'm not sure if I'll submit new chapters as they come along or just save em up till it's done. We'll see.

StyxD said...

So far, the story is mostly well written, but had some rather weak points, too.

The beginning is too drawn out, the entire first chapter adds nothing to the story and could be skipped (to the moment when Twilight gets the letter).

Can I just say that Dusk Shadow's escape is very badly contrived? The type of cell you can enter and not leave is good when you want to trap intruders, not when you want the world to forget about what's inside. The "bottomless pit" serves no purpose other than to allow Dusk Shadow to pull Scootaloo into it.

I also hated the flashback in chapter 8th. I think it was the worst part of the fic so far. It's boring, has no impact on the plot at all and shows us exactly nothing new about the characters (not to mentions most of those characters are dead anyway, so what's the point?). Even its narrative structure falls apart - those are supposed to be Dusk's memories, but the POV is initially Dandelion's, then it without warning jumps to Meadow Breeze (granted, it gave me a jolly moment when I thought Dandelion regrets that he has a girlfriend because he's so handsome, etc.). Why? It makes no sense.

Other than that, I may end up liking this fic - but only if the next chapters will focus less on cheesy thousand-year-old romance and more on necro-Scootaloo. ;)

On another note, this story could totally have a subtitle "Looking for Scootalove in wrong places". :D

JoeyH said...

Are the links correct? The links for parts three and four just go to the folder for part two.

BeatleBrony said...

@JoeyH
I have the same question.

Melodia said...

Dunno what's going on with the links, but the story is all there....
However, the update (from way back at Christmas) is actually part *8*. Part 7 was up last time, at least last time I read it.

MaSc said...

it seems that this story is going to be very very great.
Its a shame that it took a pretty long time for every update

sabersword said...

look for the girl, with the broken smile.
ask'er if she wants to stay awhile...

JoeyH said...

@Melodia

If I recall correctly, Ch1-5 were released as part I, and Ch6 and Ch7 were released as part II. Now it says there's a part III and part IV, but only one new chapter is visible. Anypony else remember if this is correct or not?

Zexoguy said...

The flashback in Ch. 8, while appearing not to serve any purpose, was probably there to tell us a little more about Meadow Breeze. But yeah, the things about it being Dusk Shadow's thoughts but him not thinking anything during doesn't really make sense. Nor does the thing about switching POV's like that.

I still love the story though and will continue to read.

TuxRug said...

@JoeyH I have no idea either... I just got confused. Chapter 8, part 4..?
Also, Parts 2-4 link to the same folder.
Also, I read Chapter 8 already.
Also, I'm confused again.

Hoping for a Chapter 9, but expecting it to show up as part 6...

Corni said...

which part is new? i'm so confused I read all these already Dx ;-;

Strange Phantasm said...

When I submitted an update for Act 2 I didn't realize they would make a new link every time, so it's kinda confusing. There should really only be two links, one folder for Act 1 and one for Act 2.

I'm not too sure where the extra update came from myself.. o_O


About the flashback and point of view business, it was never supposed to actually be Shadow's memory and thus a pov shift should have been fine. I'll fix it to make that clearer, along with revising the "escape". Again, thanks for the feedback readers.


Scootafans are best fans.

RDash said...

@Strange Phantasm Is this story still alive? I'd hate to see it go; it's one of my favorites! I'd appreciate it if you could put my wonderings to rest whatever the answer. If you are still working on it, keep up the awesome work!

Also, you should really get Seth to fix those links haha. Maybe you could put it on FIMfiction that way all the links are in one place and you get even more exposure. Other than that, I don't believe that there's anything else that I could add to help make your story better; it's perfect in my opinion!

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