Description: One day, the sun sets for everyone. As Twilight Sparkle's time comes for her, she must say goodbye to the home she has come to know and love.
magnus the blue....really?
and, first :P
short my ass X)
Not to be mean, but this was just kinda... there. It didn't do much, and it didn't really deal with any concepts that I hadn't seen done basically the same way before.That being said, it was technically well written as far as I could tell, so I'll still 4-star it.
*Reads the description*...I'm going to cry after I read it, aren't I?
@Select FewManly tears will likely be shed, yes.
I am getting so tired of reading these, yet I can't help it. *tries to dry my eyes"
SO BEAUTIFUL!!! T_T But I feel ever so sorry for Spike... such a young one for a dragon having too see his dearest friend and family in life leave him... poor dear... :( 5 STARS!!! ★★★★★
Good story. Probably should not have read it at work, while Blue from Cowboy Bebop was playing on the mp3 player.Damn these ponies!
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-No, I'm not crying. I just have... something in my eye.
@John Christensen Better then what I had playing. I was re-listening to Winter Wrap Up in C minor while I read it.
I tend to keep away from sad stories, and I should have kept doing that. Stories become so hard to read when you're wiping your face every 5 seconds.
Damn it, should i read it or not. The thought of tears frightens me :/
Not bad... But I posted a very different take on this subject, over on FIMFiction.net, that some of you might find interesting. Check it: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/2937/The-Last-Parade
I liked it, it was in fact sad, and well written. 4 stars.and not to be picky, but the image for it doesn't match. oddly enough, I do recall an image that would fit it perfectly in one of the recent Drawfriend stuff editions.. have to look for it, but why not use that instead?*edit* sorry, i messed up there. my bad. but anyway, found the image i was talking about http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jLxV0W7NZ4Q/Tr8atJGB2YI/AAAAAAAAT70/nbdp6YFkpWA/s1600/Harwick+-+one+last+parade.jpg
Considering how short and well-written this is, it is definitely worth reading. It's difficult to portray such a strong message in few words, and the author did a good job of that.Read it if you're not afraid of a few manly tears, at least on the inside (or the outside too maybe)
I'll give it a four out of five. There really wasn't anything too unique about this story - just about everything that's happened in the story I've seen before. But on the other hoof, the writing style and grammar is excellent compared to a lot of sadfics I've read, and the story did flow smoothly without getting too hung up on details/events.
This is something that I often thought about late at night. What if I do outlive family and my closest friends? But after my grandmother passed away, I don't worry about it anymore. I've learned to treasure everything and everyone in life. And to never forget. The day I forget is when they truly pass away.OK, enough sob stories from this guy. If being a brony means bringing out the emotional train wreck in you, I should pull out while I still have the chance (day 4 for me.)
Nope, I've had enough of sad. I refuse to read anymore sad stories. It's just getting down right depressing! *Says as I write one*
So much sad lately
Not good, not bad, nothing special.It's not that sad at all, at least I don't think; perhaps I need a working heart :/
I read the beginning, then skipped to the end, then went back and finished it properly.Frankly, I wonder if this is a real issue that they should discuss in the show. I dunno, it seems very depressing to me, but then again, it's part of life and probably an important life lesson. Maybe as part of a grand finale... ugh, my heart breaks to think about it. Poor Spike, Celestia and Luna.Anyway, the writing itself is good, but the plot isn't really very original. Still, pulled off comparatively well, and I prefer reading Sad over Grimdark. 4-starred.
Confound these stories.They are making me depressed.
It was ok...I HAVE b'awwed PLENTY of times over sad ponyfics, but this just wasn't sad. The tag should be [Happy].That being said, you're clearly a talented writer, and definitely shouldn't give up on fics. Just try to make your next sad fic.... sadder.
god I always cry at this stuff :*C
I think the term people are looking for is "generic". Amongst many "sad" fics, this one.. doesn't really do anything different. Not enough focus on the 5 that already passed, nor on those still alive, and what info is given is pretty "standard". Still a tear-jerker when you think of the concepts of the mane 6 passing on as a whole, but it's nothing "special" like many others.
sad enough for me :(
:*(I should stop reading [Sad] stuff .. it makes me so.... yeah... sad ..Now I have to cry!*hides under a blanket*
@Tchernobog:Very true. They're the Elements of Harmony! They saved the world, twice! I wouldn't think they would just...well...die! Although I suppose that would fit with the idyllic town that is Ponyville...But I can't stop thinking that Applejack, on the last day of her life, sleeps out in the fields, and the next morning, all that's left is a new apple tree sapling...Or Fluttershy dissolves into a cloud of butterflies, honoring those who saved her life and helped her find her cutie mark...
I enjoyed it. Short and sweet. Although, Magnus, I was going to write a story extremely similar to this one, but you beat me to it. Aw well, it was well written.
OMG Responses!Yes, I'm not going to argue that it isn't generic or hasn't been done before. I can't really argue that's it's even anything special. In fact, I don't have much of a defense. All I can do is hope people like it anyway.Somepony mentioned it not being sad enough. The reason I gave it a sad tag is because some people would find it sad. I was aiming for happy-ish, but I guess that couldn't really happen.I do want to apologize for being unoriginal. I don't read much sad fanfiction, so I have no point of reference, but I thought I would give it a shot anyway. Thank you to everyone who liked it, I'm definitely not trying to sideline any of you guys! :DAnd yes, J.E.E. Gutierrez, this really is my name. XD
I managed to not cry, but did have manly tears well up. Excellent work, 5 stars
Wow, that is the first time I have shed tears reading a story. Curse these amazing writers.
Oh, this was beautiful....Excellent story, just excellent.
I still don't believe it. I cried. Shit, you're amazing.
Confound these ponies, they make my eyes leak.
I must not cry my manly tears... I must not...OH GOD I CANT HELP IT!
*Bangs head against desk.* And I -just- finished reading Decay too. Am I seriously not allowed to have dry eyes today?*Starts reading~
This was so sad... yet so happy at the same time. It made me think to the future of what things will be like when I pass away. And yes, it did make me tear up and cry a little. Great job!
I'll give it 3. As others have said, this concept has been used a bit too much in previous fics. The writing was effective, though. Don't mistake that.*listens to Evanescence - My Immortal*
I really enjoyed it. It was sad though thinking that that they were all dead :( One thing i think that is depressing though that luna&celestia will have to live forever without probably the best friend they ever had :l Great job!
@Magnus the Blueim a 40k thausand sons player, if i dont say something Tzeentch is going to be mad at me xD[and i love sad stories (quite a paradox)]
Manly tears were shed, and I regret nothing!
@J.E.E. GutierrezI also love the Thousand Sons, in case you couldn't tell! XD
@Magnus the Bluei have some ideas concerning a mlp/40k fanfic, but im not an english speaking person. you want in?
Is this based on the terribly sad comic where Celestia dies?
I enjoyed it. Doesn't matter if it's been done before. Go check it out, it's a quick read and a great short story.
@WhitbaneNo idea, not really even sure of the comic you're talking about. Got a name for it?Also, sad comic was sad =(. Yeah, I'll agree, the concept of it has been done to death, but the writing was definitely solid. Not to mention, for whatever reason, the idea of Celestia and Luna crying really hits home with me. To make an immortal goddess of several thousand years cry... you've gotta be something special. Twilight definitely fits that bill T_T.
Nighty night everypony! At least here on the east coast :/Another big thank you to everyone who has given their support with nice comments. It really is a confidence boost.And as for the others, I can still appreciate the fact that you took the time to give it a try. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and your criticisms are perfectly understandable.Thanks again! :D
This was beautiful. Simply beautiful.
Finally! It's up! Congratz Magnus, I've said it before and I'll say it again; this is amazingly well written!
Hey! It's finally up! Congratz, Magnus, for writing this epic work!
You should continue writing stories like this. It's simply amazing, maybe short, but well-writen. And it actually doesn't need more words.
This was the first time I have cried in years. Nothing else has brought me to this level since grade school have I cried this much. I thank you, and regret nothing.
This was a pretty good story. It was definitely worth the time spent reading it. The most impressive part of the story was the setting. I was really drawn into the world by its description. Also, I have a particular soft spot for these stories that cover the distant future for the mane 6 (or in this case, the last of the mane 6). Speculation about how the future for our favorite multi-colored equines plays out is almost a guilty pleasure in these fics for me.The only thing that did not quite work for me was the dialogue. It was by no means bad, but there was definitely a difference in the quality of the dialogue and the quality of the non-dialogue description of the world and feelings of the characters. It got the job done, just not as elegantly as the world was described. Oh yeah, and the other thing that just got me. IT WAS SO SHORT! I acknowledge that this is not in any way a flaw or a mistake on the author's part, but dammit, I want more. Sad fics are a guilty pleasure, and I like my guilty pleasures to last. Anyway, good story. Not perfect, but definitely worth the time (ignore that it was a very short amount of time). I'd give it 4 out of 5 stars.
@TwinkiePinkieThank you for the in-depth critique :DI know what you mean, in terms of dialogue. It's not my strong suit, and I'm glad it was at least acceptable XD
Manly tears have been shead for this great story, thank you.
Today just isn't my day for stories. i read this and then finish the last season of the BBC Robin Hood show. and now i cant stop crying.
That was a good story sad but good =)
I am crying. But what a great story...
I wouldn't have it any other way..
Very well written, even if it WAS generic. BUT, I was unable to get manly tears from this. Wierdly, I'm unable to get manly tears from most of the sad fics. I just wish one of these would actually get sad enough for it to work on me. Anyway, As a story, 6/6.