• Equestria Girls: Opening Night Follow Up

    As we come to the last few days of another decade, we come to the final results of all the hard work, determination, and Snips and Snails being terrible stage hands. We got some interesting options here and for good reason. With this being the big performance and all, of course the thing to go wrong is a certain timid performer is getting stage fright…again. Can’t say we’re beating a dead horse anymore. This is just how it is with her. Add in a technical difficulty and you have the main recipe for theater gone wrong. But let’s see how our choices deal with someone who only needs to read one line and how she screws it up.

    Well I guess we can call it semi-canon that Pinkie’s rock farm family might have coal miners in it. Since they have the same diet, I can only imagine Pinkie hearing about a distant cousin talking about how a magic fairy gave her diamond boots to make it into the big city. I’ll give credit to Twilight and Flash putting on some good old people lines on their face to age them out. Good make up choice.
    I do love the callbacks we get in this short, including Bulk Biceps being just a lump of coal. But I’m sure the artists made him a little more buff in this just because he was working out for this role. I can’t tell the difference, but I’ll be optimistic about it. Also he’s very light on his feet with the twirling on his toes. And of course Rarity is hamming up the performance as much as possible that I’m surprised she didn’t bring her fainting couch with her.

    Oh…oh no. This is bad. Just bad. I will lose hope in Rarity’s fashion designing if I find out she did this costume for Rainbow Dash. It’s literally a fairy dress with an ugly shoe covering it. She’s also named the Fairy Boot Mother. I’m sure if we had this version in any form of Cinderella we’ve seen on the big screen, it would probably give the story more personality, but…maybe not use this costume. Ever. My eyes are burning while typing this caption right now.

    So many callbacks!!! I will restrain myself to not use Silver Quill’s “Continuity” gimmick, but all these callbacks are great and it lets you see what options from the previous Choose Your Ending shorts went through. The red rope is Twilight’s machine that moves the stage set and the train Bulk Biceps flexed out of was fixed so he didn’t need to destroy it again. I also have to point out the boots Rarity is wearing look horribly clunky they just look uncomfortable.

    Applejack: “See Fluttershy. No matter how badly you mess something up or get nervous over every little thing, the bronies will always love and support you and your cute introverted personality.”

    So Fluttershy literally has to say one line and ring a bell. It would be an amazing sight to see how someone can mess up something so simple. But it’s Fluttershy. Just like Pinkie Pie, we don’t question why and how. We just go with it and leave the fan favorite alone. Also a little more callback with Applejack being the one to help her with reading a line. I guess the Applejack clones helped her more than holographic images and fog machines. Don't worry Vinyl you're still best effects master.

    So just to clear the air and not have the Fluttershy fans track my IP address to say why Fluttershy is best pony, this really wasn’t her fault. Once again, Snips and Snails are the worst stage hands and seem to cause more of the trouble in these shorts than I thought. So now the bell rope is broken, Fluttershy doesn’t do improv acting, and the audience is waiting for the show to continue. Let’s look over our options.

    Applejack’s Option

    Applejack has become what she’s always wanted and desired to be, a magic talking apple tree. Oh wait…Fluttershy wanted to be a tree, didn’t she. Why she didn’t play a tree for this (regardless of this taking place in a coal mine with no plants around) is beyond me. But at least she made it onto the stage.

    Applejack not only has best eyebrow, but I think she can give Twilight a run for her bits with best painfully awkward smile. This is literally the smile of “OH MY STARS FLUTTERSHY RING THIS DARN BELL ALREADY!!!” Applejack is truly the best we have in terms of mother friend, the friend who watches over you, takes care of you and makes sure you’ve eaten.

    And the crowd goes wild for the talking apple tree and the one line that needed to be said so incredibly that it makes the lights turn back on and gives our cast a sweet breath of relief. Not a bad option and truly in character for AJ to always be there to help a friend even at the expense of wearing a terrible costume on stage. Can't dislike something so wholesome that it feels straight out of a sitcom.

    Twilight’s Option
    I have not a clue why we have Twilight as the smart one again. Other than the science lab in her basement, inventing the McGuffin plot device for the Friendship Games, making a robot dog for her boyfriend, and wearing glasses. So she’ll know everything about math and science, but will forget that she has magic levitation powers in a snap. But at least magical unicorn girl Sunset still remembers.

     So like the sheep we know background characters can be, they somehow forgot that magic exists, they’re had to run from it, been brainwashed by it, and know that these six have superpowers that have been used to save them from other magic. Why they’re impressed by something David Blaine could do in his sleep is beyond me. 

    Yes everything magical on stage is caused by the fairy in the old shoe costume. Nothing out of the ordinary or inhuman on this stage that can’t be explained by the fairy with the cardboard wand dangling from a harness instead of actually flying.

    So other than a good bonk on the head by this heavy bell, this was pretty much a common sense idea. Twilight did the work, but it was Sunset’s idea to have Twilight use her magic. Not bad, but nothing amazing. Just like in the other short about moving the heavy stage piece across the stage, all things in life can be solved with magic. Hopefully Twilight can remember she has the most over powered magic out of her group of friends.

    Sunset Shimmer Option

    Well you can’t say Sunset doesn’t do her very best with being head stage director of the play. Leave it to her to jump right on that stage without a single idea of what to do or say to make this better. Reckless, but noble. But also a really, really bad idea.

    So you know Twilight has a habit of under thinking sometimes where a solution is simpler than she makes it? Sunset is pretty much the exact opposite where she over thinks something and makes the situation bigger than it needed to be. So now the fallen bell is a metaphor and the audience is not understanding her underrated, indie message plot point where you just have to read the book to really understand the reason for certain things. Trust me, it makes sense in the books later on.

    Sunset: “The pressures of life turns us all into diamonds.”

    If you need a quick translation of whatever Sunset’s monologue means, it’s basically “blah blah pressure, blah blah symbolism, blah blah everyone make bell noises so I don’t have to hold up that heavy bell”. In an overly artsy way, this ending was just hilarious.

    Sunset: “Am I good or am I really good?”

    Ok Sunset, put those smoldering eyes away. This was a pretty funny option in how artsy cringe it was. This was the overthought plot of some indie movies and tv shows that makes you try to understand something simple in the most roundabout way possible. It’s effective in theater to be able to act and improv a line on the fly, but Sunset just did a whole monologue about letting go of what holds you back to become the diamond you want to be. As the self-proclaimed Assistant Director of the Play of Life, I can only expect the move rights to this play going to Sunset alone for this. Someone give this girl an Oscar. 
    So that was Opening Night and my goodness was that some opening night. Of course Snips and Snails would be the catalyst that gets the problems going…again…but at least it came with some inventive ways to derail a technical malfunction. Don’t know how versatile Twilight’s option was, but the other two at least helped in the most embarrassing way possible to take some focus off of a stage frightened Fluttershy. I might like Sunset’s option a little more just because of how entertaining it was to watch her bluff her way out of the situation. Twilight’s option had her involved, but it still took Sunset to remind her that “hey, can’t you move things with magic without anyone noticing?” Applejack’s was just sweet and helpful as always and made for an entertaining way of helping Fluttershy while giving her some confidence. I just think Sunset stole the show in this one regardless of her not even meaning to be on stage. Believe it or not, there’s one more of these to complete the full road to the school play and I’ll be sure to cover it next year. And by next year, I mean next week. Every creature have a great and safe New Years and I’ll see you all in the next decade.

    You know, I do wonder where Pinkie Pie was in all this commotion. What could she be doing this whole time the play has been going on?

    Ah. That explains…something?