• A Guide to Pony Tears - Season Seven

    Howdy, folks! TheSlorg here, and I'm back from an extended hiatus of my own. Why? So that I could once again go through every episode of the season and count all the tears that our adorable little pony (and non-pony) friends cry. I've done so with each of the previous seasons, and this season won't be any different!

    Season seven was a roller coaster of emotions, and it contained arguably some of the hardest-hitting moments of the show. But is it the teariest of all seasons? Will the current overall champ Rarity continue to maintain her stranglehold on her title of Teariest Pony, or will a newcomer take over? Head on down below the break to find out.

    Before We Begin

    As usual, I will paste the following explanation from the previous posts in this series:

    So why bother with researching such a thing as pony tears? As we are all aware, the characters we know and love are a complicated lot, with a much larger emotional spectrum than what you might typically find in a show targeting the demographic that it does. Tearful moments are but one small part of that spectrum, but they do tell us a lot about one's personality!

    Additionally, watching an entire season of a series in search of something as specific as tears can be a daunting task. You have to ask yourself what, exactly, counts as crying, for instance. For the purposes of this article, I have skipped over a lot of close calls, or instances where a character came close to crying, but didn't quite make it. I didn't skip them all, however, and will make a note of them as they appear. The rest of the moments I have listed will either have visible tears, or will have the character's eyes visibly shimmering. This time around, I've also looked at why the characters cry, and will include an additional instance for each new reason they cry, even if the tears haven't technically stopped.

    Finally, as much time as I put into trying to keep the list as accurate as possible, there is always the chance that I missed a moment or two. There will also likely be some who would contend what, exactly, counts as crying. If you find anything I missed, or wish to challenge a moment that is listed here, feel free to comment below. And now for what we've all been waiting for, let the tears begin!

    Season Seven

    Celestial Advice - Twilight cries in anguish when she imagines Starlight and Sunburst perishing in a magical mishap. Princess Celestia tears up when she realizes she should send Twilight away. She cries again when struggling to go through with it. Twilight cries when she finds out that Celestia struggled to let her go. Pinkie cries at Starlight’s graduation. Starlight cries after Twilight presents her with her gift.

    All Bottled Up - Starlight tears up when Trixie explains the things she loves about her. Twilight cries tears of pride when she thinks Starlight is taking initiative in her lessons.

    Flurry of Emotions - Pound and Pumpkin Cake both cry as they fight over a toy. Flurry Heart has a close call when she throws a tantrum for Twilight, but as there are no actual tears and it was only for show, we won’t count this one. She does cry very real tears twice after Twilight shouts at her a few moments later. Shining Armor and Cadance both cry after realizing all the art they look at reminds them of Flurry Heart.

    Rock Solid Friendship - Cloudy Quartz tears up at Maud’s graduation. Reigning champ Rarity tears up when Maud mentions how common all the gems she’s digging are. Pinkie Pie cries after Maud leaves for Ghastly Gorge. She cries again when Starlight reveals how Pinkie was getting in the way of her friendship with Maud. She cries yet again after going to Ghastly Gorge and confessing her mistakes to her sister.

    Fluttershy Leans In - Angel Bunny cries after hurting his foot attempting parkour. Rainbow Dash actually tears up when Fluttershy describes her dream of an animal sanctuary.

    Forever Filly - Rarity cries when she realizes she hasn’t spent quality time with Sweetie Belle in ages. She continues to cry as she goes over a photo album with Sassy Saddles. She cries a third time when Sweetie Belle runs off in anger. Zipporwhill cries when she thinks her dog no longer loves her. Rarity cries once again after realizing how she should be treating Sweetie Belle.

    Parental Glideance - Bow Hothoof cries prideful tears when he sees Rainbow Dash training with the Wonderbolts. He cries again when Fleetfoot tells him that he raised a great flier in Rainbow Dash. Windy Whistles tears up slightly as she comforts him. Both parents cry again when Rainbow Dash yells at them. Scootaloo cries at this as well, and Rainbow Dash cries after realizing how she acted.

    Hard to Say Anything - It took 8 episodes, but we finally have one completely devoid of tears!

    Honest Apple - Applejack cries tears of laughter upon seeing Miss Pommel’s fashion designs. Lily Lace, one of the fashion contestants, tears up when Applejack insults fashion. Rarity cries when the fashion ponies storm out. She cries again when explaining what happened to Pinkie Pie. Applejack cries again when she realizes how her honesty has hurt everypony else. Rarity tears up yet again when she sees how much Applejack went through to make sure the show went on.

    A Royal Problem - A foal in Luna’s nightmare tears up. Starlight Glimmer cries when she feels as if she’s responsible for creating a bigger rift between Celestia and Luna. Celestia cries when she’s overcome with the burden of stopping Starlight’s nightmare. She tears up again when Luna tells her how much she believes in her.

    Not Asking For Trouble - The second tear-free episode of the season!

    Discordant Harmony - The third tear-free episode!

    The Perfect Pear - Burnt Oak tears up when Big Mac asks if he can visit to hear more stories about his dad. Pear Butter cries after Grand Pear tells her they’re moving to Vanhoover. She cries again when she explains the situation to Bright Mac. She also tears up at Bright Mac’s proposal. If you blink, you’ll miss it when Mrs. Cake (or Chiffon Swirl, at the time) wipes away tears at the wedding. Pear Butter tears up again the moment her father chooses not to recognize the marriage. She cries again when forced to choose between her father and her love, and finally cries after her father disowns her. Apple Bloom tears up when she realizes that Grand Pear has moved back to Ponyville in an attempt to get to know his grandchildren. Grand Pear cries when confronted by the Apple siblings. Granny Smith cries as she apologizes to Grand Pear for not filling him in on the details of his family while he was gone, and Grand Pear tears up again when admitting that he never should have left in the first place. Finally, Granny Smith and Grand Pear both cry at the sight of the intertwining pear and apple trees planted by their children so long ago.

    Fame and Misfortune - Rarity runs off crying after overhearing ponies talking about how she didn’t deserve to be included in the Friendship Journal. She is caught crying again later on when she is ‘stress sewing.’

    Triple Threat - Another tear-free episode!

    Campfire Tales - Rockhoof tears up at being made fun of for being scrawny. Sable Spirit cries when Mistmane restores her beauty.

    To Change a Changeling - The fifth episode totally devoid of tears!

    Daring Done? - Rainbow Dash tears up after failing several times to get a crowd of ponies to rally in support of Daring Do.

    It Isn’t the Mane Thing About You - Mint Flower, a background foal, cries when she sees Rarity’s mane. Rarity, in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, tears up for a fraction of a second after two ponies cut in front of her to purchase flowers. She cries again whilst hidden under her cloak after Zecora explains that there is no magical remedy for her mane issues. She cries yet again (this time hidden under her dress) when Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack can’t bring themselves to lie and tell her that her mane looks good.

    A Health of Information - Despite several close calls, this episode is the sixth without any tears.

    Marks and Recreation - There was a close call by Apple Bloom, but no actual tears, giving us a seventh tear-free episode.

    Once Upon a Zeppelin - Twilight Sparkle cries when she realizes that she missed the Northern Stars. Star Tracker cries when Twilight stomps on his hoof. He cries again when Twilight scolds him for being in her way. Twilight cries again when her family reenacts the Northern Stars for her.

    Secrets and Pies - Pinkie Pie tears up from laughter when Twilight asks her about her pie baking. She tears up again after refusing to blink until she sees what Rainbow does with the pies.

    Uncommon Bond - Starlight tears up after Sunburst shouts at her when she casts a spell on them both to reenact their childhood. She does so again when she admits to Twilight that she has nothing in common with Sunburst anymore.

    Shadow Play (part 1) - Rarity tears up when the caretaker of Mistmane’s palace smacks her hoof with a trowel. The caretaker, who is unnamed as of this writing and will simply be referred to as ‘Caretaker,’ tears up when Rarity restores the garden.

    Shadow Play (part 2) - Starlight cries after realizing that, had Starswirl been around when Twilight confronted her, she might have been banished just like the Pony of Shadows. Twilight tears up when Starswirl praises her wisdom.

    So Who Cried the Most?
    As mentioned before, season seven hit us with some of the most emotional moments of the show's run. As such, there were a lot of tears! But is it the teariest season of all?

    Of the twenty-six episodes, seven of them were devoid of any tears. That means we now have 126 out of 169 episodes containing some form of tears. This maintains our last average of just over 75% of all episodes featuring crying. But how do the individual characters stack up? Let's have a look.

    Here is a list of all the characters who cried in season seven, from least to most tears:

    • Angel Bunny - 1
    • Apple Bloom - 1
    • Burnt Oak - 1
    • Caretaker - 1
    • Cloudy Quartz - 1
    • Dream Foal - 1
    • Lily Lace - 1
    • Mint Flower - 1
    • Mrs. Cake - 1
    • Pound Cake - 1
    • Princess Cadance - 1
    • Pumpkin Cake - 1
    • Rock Hoof - 1
    • Sable Spirit - 1
    • Scootaloo - 1
    • Shining Armor - 1
    • Zipporwhill - 1
    • Applejack - 2
    • Flurry Heart - 2
    • Granny Smith - 2
    • Star Tracker - 2
    • Windy Whistles - 2
    • Bow Hothoof - 3
    • Grand Pear - 3
    • Rainbow Dash - 3
    • Princess Celestia - 4
    Hrm. Four of the Mane Six are missing from the above list, so that means they each take the top three spots, right? Hold your horses, though. Starlight Glimmer is also missing from the list above. So there are 5 ponies in the top 3 with a tie for 3rd? Nope. Because another certain somepony is also missing from the above list, and she most certainly had a good reason to cry this season! Behold:
    • Pear Butter - 6
    • Pinkie Pie - 6
    • Starlight Glimmer - 6
    • Twilight Sparkle - 6
    • Rarity - 14

    Well, now what do we have here? Rarity has absolutely destroyed all challengers this season with a record-breaking fourteen instances of crying! But also surprising is the fact that we have a four-way tie for second place. Twilight, Starlight, Pinkie, and newcomer Pear Butter all ended up with 6 times crying each! In fact, Pear Butter now holds the record for most instances of crying in a single episode, as all of her tears came in The Perfect Pear. EDIT - And would you look at that? Fluttershy didn't shed a single tear all season!

    The next-teariest pony of the season was actually Princess Celestia, who tripled her total tear count this season and came in 3rd place, or 6th depending on how you want to look at it. 

    In all, season seven featured 78 total instances of tears, which is a new season record depending on how you count the changelings from season six, and firmly puts season seven in first place in the overall rankings. Season five drops down to second place with 70 instances of tears, then comes season two in third place at 66 times, season six is in fourth with 50 (90 and 1st place if you count the changelings), season four in fifth place with 47, season three in sixth place with 41, and season one is still in last place with only 31 instances of tears shown.

    That brings the grand total to 383 instances of tears within the series of 169 episodes. (423 with changelings).

    Well, gee, Rarity. Way to blow the competition out of the water. How am I supposed to keep the revelation of the overall Champion of Tears suspenseful when you were already leading at the start of the season?


    At any rate, here's the updated list of tear totals for the entire series up to this point:

    • Berry Punch - 1
    • Braeburn - 1
    • Breezette - 1
    • Bulk Biceps - 1
    • Brown Dragon - 1
    • Burnt Oak - 1
    • Caretaker - 1
    • Cloudy Quartz - 1
    • Cranky Doodle - 1
    • Cream Puff - 1
    • Daisy - 1
    • Dream Foal - 1
    • Fluffy Clouds - 1
    • Gabby Griffon - 1
    • Hacksaw McColt - 1
    • Harry Bear - 1
    • Lemon Hearts - 1
    • Lightning Dust - 1
    • Lily Lace - 1
    • Mane-iac - 1
    • Meadow Flower - 1
    • Mint Flower - 1
    • Mrs. Cake - 1
    • Mrs. Shy - 1
    • Noi - 1
    • Party Favor - 1
    • Pinkie Pie Clone - 1
    • Plaid Stripes - 1
    • Queen Chrysalis - 1
    • Raspberry Beret - 1
    • Red Dragon - 1
    • Rock Hoof - 1
    • Royal Guard - 1
    • Sable Spirit - 1
    • Seabreeze - 1
    • Seabreeze's Wife - 1
    • Sea Swirl - 1
    • Shoeshine - 1
    • Sky Stinger - 1
    • Snails - 1
    • Sunburst - 1
    • Teddie Safari - 1
    • Vera - 1
    • Windfall - 1
    • Yak Guard 1 - 1
    • Yak Guard 2 - 1
    • Zephyr Breeze - 1
    • Zipporwhill - 1
    • Angel Bunny - 2
    • Countess Coloratura - 2
    • Discord - 2
    • Gilda - 2
    • Matilda - 2
    • PiƱa Colada - 2
    • Prince Rutherford - 2
    • Scouts Honor - 2
    • Star Tracker - 2
    • Twilight Velvet - 2
    • Windy Whistles - 2
    • Big Macintosh - 3
    • Bow Hothoof - 3
    • Flurry Heart - 3
    • Grand Pear - 3
    • Lyra Heartstrings - 3
    • Moon Dancer - 3
    • Pound Cake - 3
    • Princess Luna - 3
    • Pumpkin Cake - 3
    • Snips - 3
    • Steven Magnet - 3
    • Trixie - 3
    • Diamond Tiara - 4
    • Princess Cadance - 4
    • Shining Armor - 4
    • Apple Bloom - 5
    • Granny Smith - 5
    • Thorax - 5
    • Pear Butter - 6
    • Princess Celestia - 6
    • Sweetie Belle - 6
    • Scootaloo - 8
    • Spike - 17
    • Applejack - 18
    • Starlight Glimmer - 20
    • Rainbow Dash - 23
    • Fluttershy - 29
    • Twilight Sparkle - 32
    • Pinkie Pie - 38
    • Changelings in Disguise - 40*
    Yep, that's right. Even if you count the changeling horde from season six, Rarity still beats their total by another 20%. Unless something drastic happens in the upcoming season 8, Rarity will not only remain champion, but she will win her crown by an ever-increasing margin! Nopony else even comes close!
    • Rarity - 50
    This season saw Fluttershy, the pony many thought would challenge Rarity for the throne early on, fall to fourth place behind Twilight Sparkle, who is creeping up on Pinkie Pie in a bid to steal second place away from her. It also saw Applejack jump ahead of Spike, meaning the top six spots would be controlled by the original Mane Six again... if Starlight hadn't bumped Applejack back down to take up the sixth position for herself!

    Lyra Heartstrings remains the teariest background pony... if you still consider her a background pony! She's been getting more and more speaking roles as the seasons go by, so who knows at this point? Scootaloo is still the Crusader who cries the most, Princess Celestia has now surpassed Luna and Cadance to become the teariest princess, and—speaking of Cadance—she and Shining Armor are now tied at 4 cries apiece. Isn't that sweet? If you count Pinkie Pie as an Apple cousin, then the Apple family is responsible for 80 instances of tears, which is 21% of the grand total! However, Applejack only accounts for 4.7% of that total.

    And that's it for season seven! What were your favorite moments of the season? Did any episodes make you tear up? How is your favorite character doing in the rankings, and can anypony ever hope to catch up to Rarity? Let me know in the comments below, and keep an eye out for new Pony Guides coming soon!