• "All Bottled Up": Episode Followup - AKA Teacup AKA Confessions


    I knew funneling all of EQD's ad money toward brushables, funko figures, plushies, cards, and body pillows of her would spur Hasbro toward forcing her into more episodes! I figured out the formula YEARS AGO. I may now be up to my eyeballs in debt and unable to move three feet without stabbing the bottom of my foot with sharp pieces of blue plastic, but it was worth it. Welcome to the results friends. This ride is full steam ahead~ Every scene, expression, vocal tick, and moment spent in her presence is the SHINIEST of treasures!

    And to top it off they paired her with Glimmy! My personal favorite addition to the show.

    Like an edgy teenager discovering fanfiction.net for the first time, expect some shipping. We are going in DEEP. This is what happens when your life is ponyponypony for six years.

    Uhh, there is some actual analysis in there too I think.

    Now go! Venture into six seasons of madness COMBINED below.


    Here we observe the rare and majestic Trixieus Magicus deep in concentration in her natural habitat. Note the incredible amount of determination she exudes upon the task at hand. One would be hard pressed to find a unicorn more willing to advance her magical talent.

    Over twenty years of magical failure weigh heavily upon her as she attempts a complex tranfiguration spell that even the most exemplary of academics struggle with. We may see many a failure as she struggles to come up with the solution on her own.

    But what is this?  A quick five second lesson by a real mentor and she completely mastered it! Even Twilitus Sparklepuss struggled with this type of magic back during her initial attempts in the 6th episode of season one, and she's considered a genius!

    Is this the reality of Trixicus? Has she really been the greatest and most powerful unicorn all along outside of rampant boasting? Were her failings simply the cause of bad teaching?

    And just look at how loving and cuddly Trixieus Magiucus is now with Glimerus Glamerus. Some would say the image above is a metaphor for something. In fact, artists fond of the pairing have already transformed it into works far above our age rating. I have seen them all good audience, and my brain has been branded for rewiring due to the crippling corruption it has caused.

    Whether you agree with those creations or not though, the reality still stands - when connected to her bestie, Trixieus is at her bestius~

    And with just half a minute of practice, we see her ascension to godhood! A brand new race of teacup shaped canines is formed out of her ever-present spectacularness. It may have been screaming in agony with it's lack of ability to intake oxygen, but one cannot refute that the creation of life, however primitive, is just another notch on the Greatest and Most Powerful unicorns ever-growing belt.

    That's enough of that.

    I cannot think of a single smart thing to say about this that hasn't already been done a million times. If I see another titanic meme on Twitter I'm... going to continue to be jealous that I didn't start it first. Don't lie. Starting a trend feels good. It's what gets people up at night. People might call you a terrible person, but in reality, they are jelly too.

    Regardless, this entire scene is DA BEST.

    I have to admit though, bluenicorn is pretty oblivious this episode. If Starlight is the princess at failing to reading between the lines, Trix is the god-queen sitting upon a throne built out of the bones of her enemies. Enemies who were actually just potential friends she accidentally misread.

    And so begins the eviction of the mane cast for our new mane duo. It was a good 6 seasons everyone, but the Starlight and Trixie show has already been primed to take over going forward. Watch as they have way more fun as the fandom implodes again.

    In all honesty though, Trixie and Glim bias aside, these two have a really awesome dynamic going. Having two ex-villains team up for some intense friendshipping is one of the least explored tropes in media, and an airheaded a distracted pony like Trixie here fueling it is an absolute joy.

    The mini-twilights, the sarcastic remark about friendship magic, and the general Trixie level ADD is just a nonstop barrage of perfect for anyone that has ever been a fan of her. As I write this at 1:00 AM with the adderall wearing off hours ago, I can't help but feel connected to her in some weird and wonderful way.

    She's the perfect challenge for Glims. A chaotic force that both overshadows her inner self esteem issues, and guides her on a completely unstable path to maximum friendship at the same time. You want to potentially sacrifice Spike for the sake of magical progression? Old Glims would do it in a heartbeat. New, enlightened Glims only does it if she's sure she can get away with it. A big difference.


    Twilight continues to exceed expectations at being the most... eccentric princess of friendship.  A team building exercise for the team that has already saved Equestria six times is the perfect use of an afternoon. Who wants chilling at the spa when you can solve puzzles! It's perfect!

    A lot of people like to piss and moan about their old minimum wage first timer jobs, but outside of not wanting to do anything other than play video games all day, they weren't so bad. People like Dashie here were always a blast to serve as you grinded through your hours half-caring about what went on. She FIRED YOU UP as she charged in and got you involved in whatever crazy plans she had.

    This guy is secretly lovin it. Time will fly way faster with the overly obnoxious customer. He's going to be home sippin mountain dew and munching cheetos while marathoning whatever TV series Netflix has released this week before he knows it.

    That and crushin' on her friend the yellow shy one. Ain't no one resisting the yellow shy one.

    I'd make a hurr dee durr hot cheerleader joke like that terrifying "Cart before the ponies" followup turned into, but I just can't do that to Pinkie. Something about her makes the usual "pony in a skirt = lewd bait" thing not work anymore.

    That being said, this followup isn't staying normal for long~



    This episode is OVERFLOWING in Trixieness. People have been saying she's the cancer killing EQD, for six years now, but how the hell can I not spend this entire followup squeeing at her everything. It's  pretty much just my livejournal at this point. 22 minutes of Trixie driving Glimmy nuts and I love it.

    There isn't even anything else to point out other than smug ass Trix blowing spells and making Starlight crack. You may see her first attempt at teleportation a failure, but she wasn't even aiming for that. A disappearing spell is what she wanted, and she pulled it off with ease. In Trixie's mind it was a huge success. In Trixieland she nailed it.

    Glims isn't any less wild though. We've seen a lot of unicorns freak out over the years, but she's the first that literally has to channel her frustration toward ripping apart space time or mass mind control in order to control it. This friendship is a trainwreck for the peaceful citizens of Equestria and I can't get enough.

    I don't think I've ever seen any other show take the concept of "bottling your anger" at face value. Leave it to pony, the show that keeps on givin.

    I can't not cap this face.

    Hell, this entire episode is filled with the best type of Trixie face:






    What is she so joyous about? Could it be the ever-elusive spark of... love?

    Fifty Shades of Glimglam - (Unofficial) Part 3
    Written? by: ???????
    (Based on best seller Fifty Shades of Glimglam Part 1, Part 2) 

    "I'm sooo happy we are such goood friends Starlight! Being able to share my most intimate thoughts and desires with somepony I trust makes me feel like a million bit mare!"

    "Aww, I feel the same way about you Trix... Twilight is an amazing teacher, but you have always been the real motivation that keeps me going every day~"

    You know, I'm having the hardest time remembering what I was thinking of when I teleported the map. Maybe we should... go about this another way? Spark a few synapses back at the castle... behind closed doors, with a soundproof spell up?

    "Well, I have to admit... I've been feeling pretty pent up and frustrated today. Maybe a bit of chillax time with my bestie would do me some good?"

    "Worry not my dear Starlight... Let the Great and Powerful Trixie help soothe some of that stress. Don't pretend like you didn't see me notice. Follow me! I have the BEST idea!"

    "Oh Trixie, you have no idea how much I need this."

    "W...wait Trixie. Isn't this Twilight's room? We can't! She'd kill me if she ever found out!"

    "Oh Starlight~ Where is your sense of adventure! Twilight won't be back for another few hours and she has by far the most comfortable bed in the castle. Haven't you ever been at least a tiny bit curious? Twilight is a pretty attractive pony isn't she?"

    "Y...yes Trixie, you are right. I can't deny that. Living with Twilight here for so long has awakened some pretty hard to resist urges.  She's my teacher though! Isn't that weird?"

    "Don't you worry your cute little head Starry. Worrying is what stressed you out to begin with isn't it? Let Trixie take care of everything~"

    "You're right. I do worry too much. Alright then! Let me just dispel her door protection charms... and... done! W-Wait! S...Sunburst?!"

    "Why, hey there ladies~ I heard you were looking to have a good time. Want to do a bit of co-ed with the Sunny D? I promise, my extensive knowledge of magic means extensive knowledge on how to please a mare when I need to~"

    "Oh Sunburst! We can finally make up for all those missed years when you left!"

    "W...Wait. P... Princess Celestia?! Er... What are you doing here?"

    "My Little Ponies! It's so good to see such an incredible expression of friendship! You wouldn't mind if Big C got in on this would you? It's not a rumor that I've sent a mare to the moon before with these skills~"


    "Errr... Twilight. I'm not one to judge, and you know I value you immensely as a pupil, but maybe that's enough fantasizing for one day?"


    I guess the happy didn't last forever. As my senpai DWK said on Twitter, "She really tossed Trixie's nutsack"

    This furthers that whole "pony manes and tails are an extra limb" thing right? Kinda like Applejack manipulating a rope with hers? I can't really see any other reason why it would start randomly drooping. I'm surprised no one has analyzed the magical properties of manes yet.

    She's really cute with a droopy mane though.



    I have no idea if this song was supposed to be serious or not, but I like it. 

    Only flutterbutter would find a bear mauling you comforting.

    Yeah, this one can't be serious. I'm just going to slap some fun screencaps here since I feel like this followup needs it but I have no idea what to say about it. Kinda like how it repeated itself. Gotta fill those minutes with something. Even I'm struggling to find different stuff to point out when 90% of the episode was Trixie and Glimmy being awesome.



    Many hats.

    I'm out of steam here.


    The Starlight I love is Passionate~ Oh Trixie, you do know how to cause a fandom meltdown don't you? All I see now are teacups and shipping. Or maybe that's because I have a problem.

    She is the absolute worst influence though. Glimmy is over here learning to not use magic to solve her problems after many a near-apocalypse, and Trixie is askin' for MORE APOCALYPSE GLIMS LETS GO! I can't wait to see what kind of trouble she gets Starlight into in the future. I have a feeling this isn't the last we will see of their unique dynamic.

    And what better way to wreak havoc than assist Starlight in her totally obvious princess training! Are you ready for the toys? The books? The season finale ascension? The winged Glimmy taking to the skies to spread magic to all of Equestria? The brand new castle overlooking her crazy cult town?

    I kid I kid. Have a mare that looks like Button's Mom relaxing. I hear you all have a thing for her or something.