• "Three's a Crowd": Episode Followup

    Image courtesy of Silentmatten

    Greetings, salutations, and how do you do, fine bronies of the internet!  I’m Discord, lord of chaos and disharmony in Equestria… and since the usual staff of Equestria Daily found themselves mysteriously indisposed, I’m also your episode followup host on this fine day.

    Technically, PRB was supposed to do today's followup, but as you can see in the header, he got cold hooves at the last moment.  The rest of him looks pretty cold as well.

    It’s probably for the best.  None of those reporters are worthy of discussing my theatrical brilliance anyway.  So follow me as I take you through a behind-the-scenes look at my star-studded performance!

    And the ponies too, I suppose.  Although this show would be much better if I was the star.

    Ah, Spike.  What a lovely way to begin.  He’s a trooper, that Spike.  His life is full of chaos even when I’m not around.

    This scene was almost certainly a callback to the scene from my first glorious appearance back in Season Two.  Spike even gets sick afterwards!  Maybe that was supposed to be some obscure foreshadowing for my upcoming big moment.

    Eating paper, Fluttershy?  I must be rubbing off on you.

    It was interesting to hear a mention of the Breezies, though.  This important schedule of events sitting on Sethisto’s desk says something about them appearing in that episode scheduled for March first.

    Well, I’m sure it’s not important.  After all, that one’s not about me.

    See what I mean about Spike?  He doesn't need me in his life.

    Although this was my first time in the spotlight since the season premiere, I have been keeping an eye on those ponies, and I notice that Pinkie Pie’s mane and tail seem to be drawing ever closer to sapience.  Here’s hoping they try to take over Equestria before the season is out.

    While leafing through some of Equestria Daily’s files, I found a useful little list of things that are worth pointing out in these followup things.  Item number one says, “ponies in cute clothing,” and this picture.  Comment on how adorable Fluttershy is in a hat and scarf, everyone!  That’s what you do, right?

    Oh, by the way you EQD reporters, while digging around in those filing cabinets, I may have accidentally misfiled a paper or two.  Or ten thousand.  Shouldn’t take you more than a few days to get everything back in order, right?

    And so, a heartrending goodbye is cut short by “something floaty”.  Truly tragic. 

    Item number two: Point out details about Equestrian lore.

    Why you readers would find something that isn’t about me so interesting is beyond me, but here you go.  Starswirl the Bearded, who has only been mentioned in passing before today, clearly has a white coat.  Go revise your fanfictions.

    Breaking the fourth wall, Twilight?  How unprofessional!  Rainbow “Professionalism” Dash would not approve of such an acting foible.

    These amateurs really need my grand entrance to save the show at this point.

    Princess Cadance sure knows how to travel in style.  This train would be downright intimidating if it wasn’t, you know, pink and baby blue.

    Fun fact: They’d cast two crystal guards for this scene, but one of them fell ill on filming day and needed an understudy.  We grabbed some other pony to take his place.  I forget his name.  Fish Senility or something ridiculous like that.

    Whatever, he probably wasn't anypony important.

    Or was he?


    Forget Twilight, Rarity is the one with acting skills.  Just listen to her warn her friends about the incoming projectile.  Simply gorgeous.  I’m surprised the glass didn’t break.

    The Ponyville fire department was standing by while we filming this scene, and the train station still burned down before we got a good take.  Twice.

    And finally, yours truly makes his first big appearance!  This scene was, in my oh-so-humble opinion, the saving grace of an otherwise mundane show.  My only complaint is that I didn’t get my big moment until the end of the first act.  Such a waste.

    I took a moment to see how those other EQD ponies do followups.  If another one of them was writing this followup, he'd probably have captioned this, “And then there’s Rarity.”

    Yes, yes, I hear you yelling at me.  I stole your joke.  Get over it.

    I think Pinkie Pie’s mane looks better that way.  She, on the other hoof, was less than appreciative.

    In my defense, I said I couldn’t lift a spoon.  I never said anything about Pinkie Pie.

    And before you complain, I’ll have you know the tree was just a prop, made of ultra light and decidedly fire-resistant material.  Pinkie Pie was heavier.

    Hey!  Are you calling me fat?

    Of course not, Pinkie dear.  Now run along, I've got a stolen website to run.

    Somepony told me you bronies are suckers for these hats.  How delightful!

    Pinkie taught me this one!  Extra limbs for comedic effect.  Priceless!

    Here's another fun fact: Blue Flu is actually a term for workers who cannot legally be on strike instead avoiding work by calling in sick.  It's always been a fake illness!

    Well, it was fake for me.  Less so for Applejack and Rarity.

    I notice Twilight's Starswirl costume puts all the others to shame.  She's like that one person who shows up at a convention in the two-thousand dollar show-accurate fursuit, while everyone around her just has a colored wig on.

    I mean really, Cloudkicker?  That's just your hat from nightmare night with a cone taped to the top.  Shameful.

    Oh right, I should look at that list of important followup points again.

    Item number three: talk about new abilities the characters demonstrate.  Cadance's "health bubble" is one of the more unusual spells I've seen anypony use.  Of course, there was never a health risk to begin with, so for all I know that could be nothing more than a light show.  I guess we'll never know.

    Item Number Four: Keep track of the best faces in the episode.

    Well, looks like I'm winning.

    I guess you could say I was "looking pretty blue" in this picture!

    And of course, a performance this good would never be complete without a musical number!  Luckily I've got unparalleled finesse with the ol' vocal cords.

    Oh dear, it looks like Cadance may be beating me for the best face award after all.

    What do you think?  It's my Steven Magnet impression.

    I'm surprised Rarity hasn't caught on to the latest fashion trend.  Noodles are hot, hot, hot!  Look at Twilight and Cadance, they're simply stunning.

    Acting, singing, and fashion!  Is there anything I can't do?

    I believe this applies to item number one on that list again.  Twilight in a waitress outfit.  Those glasses don't quite suit her, though.  Shoulda' stuck with the noodle outfit.

    It took us ages to get this scene right!  I swear, that Twilight Sparkle has four left hooves.

    I made it work, though.  Dancing is another of my many talents, of course.

    She's stronger than she looks, though, I'll give her that.

    You know, they put me in a Slytherin uniform, but I don't know how accurate that really is.  After all, I have body parts from the animals that represent all the houses!  Except Hufflepuff.  No one likes Hufflepuff.

    Oh, and Twilight, those glasses suit you much better than the ones from that waitress outfit a moment ago.

    Poor Bon-Bon. There's nothing worse than being in the middle of a shower when forces beyond your control expose you for all the world to see.

    I would know.  The same thing happened to me in the season premiere.

    That's no alpenhorn, you nimrod, that's a sousaphone!  If you're going to do a parody, at least do it right!

    Masterpieces, the both of them.  I'm truly an artist.

    Which one clashes worse?  I can't tell.

    This poor chap was upstairs trying out for a role in Littlest Pet Shop.  He didn't get the part, sadly, but found his chance at stardom mere minutes later with us instead.

    I find the lack of water in my glass disturbing, Twilight.

    I wonder if they know the way to Las Pegasus?

    Right here is undeniable proof that the Great and Powerful Trixie is a hack compared to me.  Her golden throne was dragged along the ground by two colts.  Mine is whisked through the air by a pair of alicorn princesses.  Checkmate, Trixie my dear.

    You're only cursing at me because you know it's true, Sethisto.

    Item number five: Talk about new locations.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I was reminded of those badlands the changelings were launched off to.  Wouldn't it have been just grand if they'd come across one, considering Cadance was here again?

    Irony.  Sometimes, it's almost as entertaining as me!

    And then Roger, the dreaded Tatzlwurm, appeared!  Roger is just a pleasure to work with.  A good sight better actor than Twilight and Cadance, I might add.

    There's something oddly familiar about this.  Like I've already seen it this season.  Twice.

    Just a coincidence, I'm sure.

    So, I'm no expert, but I've stopped by Princess Luna's chambers for a round of video games now and then.  Was anypony else hearing this during that battle?

    Tom Cruise has nothing on this draconequus.

    Two halves of a friendship necklace.  I'm brilliant, right?  You don't have to say it.  At this rate, I'll master this friendship stuff even faster than Twilight did!

    I suppose when all was said and done, these two realized they'd still had the quality time they'd wanted.  A shame, really.  There's nothing worse than spending your whole day trying to ruin someone else's and ultimately failing.

    At least I got one small consolation prize, though.  Take that, Cadance!  The best face award is mine once again!

    Moral of the story: Tatzlwurms are disease-spreading vermin.  I'm glad we all learned that lesson.

    Well, my dear patrons of Equestria Daily, it appears that your usual staff members have finally defrosted... er, I mean, returned from their unexpected hiatus!  I suppose that means my brief stay here has concluded.

    Do try to enjoy the rest of the season.  I know, I know, episodes without me can't possibly compare, but hey, maybe those ponies will get something right every once in a while.