Guys. Guys. Guys guys guys guys guys. Guys! Oh. My. Gosh. This thing is working! I'm actually on the internet! With humans. This is just so... I mean I don't even... eeeeeeyeeeeaaaah! I'm sorry, I swear I'm not normally like this, but seriously! Just wait till I tell Bon Bon what I did today!
Ok so like, I don't actually know if I'm supposed to be here or anything, but when I saw this computer sitting at Twilight's house I just knew I had to try and talk to you guys. But then I was thinking, I though, "Lyra, what are you gonna say to all those humans? What do you even have in common?" And I totally wasn't sure so I was thinking maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, but then it came to me! Sitting!
So ok, you ready? Hold onto something, because I am totally about to blow your minds.
I just picked this bad boy up a little while ago. It's called a... hold on a second, an "Aeron", and it is maybe the best thing ever. Okay, okay, okay. So it's a chair, right? But instead of cushions that get all squishy and lumpy, it's got this weird meshy stuff that sort of molds itself to your body. I kid you not, it's like jiljiiljus inja fshubj. Awww, shoot. I was doing so well! Where's the delete button on this thing? Eh, whatever. So seriously, this chair is like sitting on a cloud. And, trust me, I know a thing or two about sitting on clouds.
I could actually feel this thing bending and supporting my spine. I could sit in it for hours and never get a neck cramp, not like the park benches we have back in Ponyville. Bon Bon's always telling me ponies aren't meant to sit like this, but man, she's never seen this baby. I can't even get over how comfy it is. But that's not even the best part! It's also got these little wheels that you can push yourself around on, so you never even have to get up! It's super good at spinning around, too, but you have to be careful or else you'll get sick. Just... just trust me, ok? Leave that to the pros.
The Aeron is also super shiny. You guys like shiny things, right? The sales guy was telling me it's like 94% recyclable or something, but I wasn't really paying attention at that point because pretty much everything in Equestria's like that already. Besides, I'd just found all of the amazing levels and knobby things at that point. You can totally move them, too! With your fingers! They make the chair go higher, or lean back, or get the little upper-hoof resty things to move around or, just... gosh. I bet if you fiddled with it enough you could probably get it to turn into a robot or something!
So now that we've pretty much covered all the reasons this is the best chair ever, you're probably wondering how to get one, right? Well, here. This is the internet place where they talk all about them, including all the places you can get them from. The guy I bought mine from told me it cost seven hundred dollars, but when I pulled out some bits and asked me how much that was he just kind of went wide eyed and didn't take more than maybe ten. I'm sure you guys have at least that much just sitting in your pockets. You're so lucky you have those, you have no idea. So anyway, there you go. A super comfy super awesome chair at what I'm pretty sure is a super cheap price. How can you lose?
And, um... if you guys, you know, liked this then maybe I could... you know, do a few more? I promise I'll find all the best places to sit and then tell you all about them! Don't you worry your pretty human heads: Lyra Heartstrings is on the case!