[Adventure] [Dark]
Author: GanonFLCL / Assisted by The Living Couch / Bee Are / Devnator
Description: Twilight Sparkle and her friends find themselves in another universe, and their very being there threatens to tear their own world apart. They must find their way home, with the help of some new-found friends. But their quest is not without its obstacles, and this new world is ready to test their courage and their strength to their fullest...
Crisis: Equestria
Crisis: New World Order (New Sequel Part 23)
Additional Tags: Action, Fantasy, Discord, Harmony, Epic
(Potential spoilers in images!)
Fan Art by Starlightspark
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 1
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 2
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 3
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 4
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 5
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 6
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 7
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 8
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 9
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 10
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 11
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 12
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 13
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 14
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 15
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 16
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 17
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 18
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 19
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 20
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 21
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 22
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 23
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 24
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 25
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 26
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 27
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 28
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 29
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 30
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 31
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 32
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 33
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 34
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 35
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 36
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 37
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 38
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 39
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 40
CRISIS: Equestria: Chapter 41
400 comments:
@Ariathina
ReplyDeleteYou mean you can actually read those lines in the first place? I have no trouble reading them in an AJ-like voice, nor doing the same with the rest of the anti-6 in regards to their respective counterparts, but Curacao's accent is just so thick and full of so much gratuitous 'fancy' talk that making heads or tails of it can often take me two or three passes. Not that I'm complaining, she makes an all the better Element of Deception when I can hardly follow more than the most basic gist of what she's saying
@OtakuPatriot
I think you're taking it far to seriously. This fandom is full of shipping pairs within the mane-6. Specifically calling out the ones that just happen to involve RD just because she's a tomboy would seem to speak more of your own biases than others.
There's no stereotyping or political agenda here. The author has gone on record that Rainbow/Pie just happens to be his personal favorite. Furthermore, it's not like he's beating us over the head with it. This isn't a ship-fic. It's just thrown as something of an off the wall gag to create some awkward comedy, and because the author thinks they make a cute couple.
I find it funny that more you get through the story, the more... rude if you like, the mane ponies get- at first, they don't say 'damn' instead of 'darn' or something.
ReplyDeleteNot that this ruins anything. I love this story to death!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
ReplyDeleteI find it very funny that Curaçao has a french accent because it's my first language XD Even if sometimes, she brings up some misplaced ''la'' or ''le'', like when she said ''la problème''. It should have been le in this case. I get no problem with Applejack either though since she actually talks like that in the show.
@notdog1996
ReplyDeleteHmm... while it's likely just the author lacking enough experience in the language, it could be that Curacao's accent is actually just an affectation to create a false impression of herself in others. Being AJ's antipathy, the Element of Deception as it were, that would certainly be in character.
If that is the case, then maybe later in the story when she is sufficiently stressed we'll see her completely break the accent and start talking in a very brisk down and dirty.
Twitter: What’s your favorite kind of cupcake? Go!
ReplyDeleteTara: red velvet! With a twilight sparkle on top!
laugh.jpg
I really liked this story in the beginning but the Dark-Main Six are starting to kill it for me. The way they are is really more suited for the direct villain roll, with only brief screen time.
ReplyDeleteThat said the writing is great, the story is good, it is just no longer enjoyable for me to read.
interesting that of the Main Six, Laughter seems the strongest of all Elements. Not only is she/it rebuffing Despair/Bloodlust, she is actually WEAKENING her/it just by being... well, herself/itself. Honesty is screwed over by Deceit, Friendship by Enmity, Loyalty by Indifference, Generosity by Greed, and now even Kindness by Cruelty, but Laughter doesn't even need to do anything in particular to get Despair/Bloodlust exhausted and in despair herself/itself.
ReplyDelete@The Wandering Magus
ReplyDeleteI don't think those are quite the anti elements this author is using. My apologies if the following starts to sound like a lecture, it's just I've put a lot of thought into this matter.
As I see, it Red Velvet is the Element of Terror (or to more closely parallel Laughter, Screams). It's only natural then that her influence would have little influence on Pinkie, as granny Pie taught her to laugh all her fears away. Granted that may only be working at the moment because Pinkie is naively ignorant of the pure malevolence that is Red Velvet.
Likewise, I'm not sure all the other anti elements are such straight mirrors. Insipid isn't quite Greed. She's myopically focused on her own wants and desires, but more just in a way resembling a total lack of empathy rather than the material possessiveness that is usually associated with the concept of greed. It's more like the way young children are mostly incapable of conceiving that the world exists beyond their own limited viewpoint, or that others around them don't necessarily share thier own interests. Unfortunately, I haven't yet come up with a better term to use.
I would also argue that Havocwing is not Cruelty. Sure she is harsh spoken, but not particularly mean-hearted, her outbursts having more to do with building her own bravado than actually trying to tear others down. I would label her as the Element of Anger/Rage, concepts often associated with heat and fire, doing well to explain her combustive powers.
HOLYFUCKYOUDIDNOTJUSTENDITTHERE
ReplyDeleteWow... That last chapter... That was brilliant!
ReplyDeleteDoes that ending imply that violence is stronger than laughter?
ReplyDelete@AlexReffand
ReplyDeleteHE SPEAKS THE TRUTH
Music in background made me lol'ed. Story is now getting interesting. Want moar.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I lecture all the time :D
ReplyDeletehmm, I suppose that makes sense from a certain point of view, but I still think she's supposed to represent crushing despair in the face of danger to oppose unquenchable joy and hope.
Narcissism? It's still the opposite of generosity, focusing on the wants and needs of the self rather than that of others.
She seems cruel and eager to be cruel enough; her comments back when fighting the soldiers resembled Fluttercruel's, and more recently she cringes at being forced to show kindness to her opposite.
@Entro
ReplyDeleteIt's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something: That there is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.
Like I said, Hope and Despair. Joy in the midst of suffering, Laughter in the midst of trials. Pinkie, the embodiment of Hope, is the strongest of all. Even when it seems like all is lost, when all the world is dark, there remains hope eternal. All Pinkie needs to do is remember that. It is always darkest before the dawn. Where the dark is most prevalent, there the light is brightest. Come on, everypony, smile, smile, smile! Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine! Pinkie, you've got to stand up tall, learn to face your fears. They can't hurt you. Just LAUGH to make them disappear.
@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
ReplyDeleteInsipid's fighting style is exemplary of her element- take what you can, give nothing back. Hoard powers, steal mana, cling to your crush like you own them.
Wow, simply wow. That chapter was just amazing. So much shit hit the fan and all at once. The setup with Red Velvet cracking under the strain and going after Fluttershy, forcing Starlight into making a largely no win decision to keep the two groups together with no real way to convince Twilight without tipping even more of her own hand.
ReplyDeleteThen there was the fight. Brilliant, bloody brilliant, which is an apt word to use as the best of the fight was the bits between Pinkie and Velvet. The frustration in the later, the zaniness of the former. Fight music that changes when the boss powers up, chocolate filled piñata stunt doubles, BFS pulled from chapter 20. Pinkie can really flex those 4th-wall shattering cartoon physics powers to her advantage. Unfortunately for all her personal bravery she still had a chink to her armor, fear for the safety of her friends, and oh for the dreadful joy that discovery gave to Velvet which of course led to the Cupcakes reference we all knew was coming.
----------------
@The Wandering Magus
Yeah, like I said, Insipid is hard to define for me right now so I won't argue the point.
As for Havocwing, she has got more in common with the recent Assertiveshy then the Discorded Flutterbitch, especially now that she seems to have become Iron Will mk2. Still, the distinction is subtle enough that arguments could be made either way. As I see it though, her attitude isn’t not about putting others down, but about making sure no one messes with her. She not mean for the sake of being mean, rather it’s more of an anger management issue. Also she’s not very good at actually putting others down. Her insults are shallow, childish, and largely ineffective; her temper on the other hand is hair trigger and it’s easy for others to make her lose focus because of it. Plus like I said, fire powers make more sense as the boon of anger/rage.
Red Velvet though I'm not budging on and this latest chapter really backs me up. By her own admission the inability to invoke fear in those around her was weakening her. She is unable to best Pinkie in single combat, even with her Hemomancy, because the party pony is just so unflappable in the face of danger, and it's only when Dash gets injured that the tide turns. Pinkie has no fear for her own safety, but she has plenty for that of her friends, which is all the foothold Velvet needs to push her over the edge. There is an aspect of despair to all that, but I think you’re confusing cause and effect. Fear can lead to despair, but it very much seems to be the former that empowers Velvet, the later just being icing on the cake as it were. Note that in referencing Havocwing, she never caused her ‘sister’ to despair, but the fact that she is no longer even so much as nervous around Velvet is what is most distressing.
as you wish :)
ReplyDeletei suppose that makes sense. we will have to see how the author wants it.
so what is the opposite of fear to counterbalance it? Courage isn't an Element, although it is a great virtue to have. Hope can drive away Despair, and Joy can overcome Sorrow, but what can face down Fear?
@The Wandering Magus
ReplyDeleteSilly, it's laughter. We've known that ever since Pinkie's first song all the way back in episode 2 of the show.
"Pinkie you gotta stand up tall, learn to face your fears ... Just laugh to make them disappear!"
More seriously though, as I already said, I don't think the anti-elements are such strict and literal opposites to the Elements of Harmony. Especially as virtues/vices and emotions can be difficult to categorical delineated in the first place.
That said, yes, only time and the eventual admission by the author will yield what is true for this story. Though that's one of the things I find so intriguing about this story. Most authors would have defined/identified the counter elements early on, but here we are left guessing. I will say though that the author has gone on record stating that the law-vs-chaos interpretation of magic as espoused by Tick Tock is flawed, which further suggests that thinking of the anti-6 as strict opposites of the mane-6 would be equally flawed.
As a follow up, because this story clearly makes me wax philosophical and way overthink everything. When I started this story I rather expected the anti-6 would be much like the Discorded versions of the mane-6, but they have instead proven to be so much more multifaceted than that. Which of course only makes all too much sense as the author started writing before the season 2 premier.
ReplyDelete--Curacao isn't so much a liar, but more so a manipulative temptress. She weaves half-truths to put her target off balance while taunting them with what they desire, and then allowing them to jump to their own false conclusions.
--Havocwing isn't so much cruel, but more so temperamental. She seems to lash out at others not to make them suffer, but to protect her own insecurities.
--Insipid isn't so much greedy, but more so needy. She requires other to provide her with support and validation.
Past that we move onto characters that have even less in common with the Discorded mane-6.
--Red Velvet is a blood thirsty psychopath that has more in common with a typical Hollywood slasher than the moody grump that was Discorded Pinkie Pie.
--Starlight Shadow is an elitist that seems to value power and control above all else. Nothing at all like the broken and depressed wreck that was Discorded Twilight. She's more like her counterpart pushed to an extreme than an actual inversion.
Then of course there is the last of the six, but I don't feel that I've seen anywhere near enough of how Greyscale Force thinks or feels to judge her personality. We seem to agree that her element is Apathy/Indifference, but at the same time wouldn't a more 'proper' opposite to Loyalty be Betrayal/Treachery. That would seem to further support the notion that the anti-6 are not strict opposites of the mane-6.
The more I think about this the more I think that trying to define the anti-6 and the elements they represent as opposite to the mane-6 is wrong directional. Perhaps they aren’t so much the opposite of the EoH, but rather the absence of the EoH, and not really so much an absence of the element in indivdual but rather in the ability to see such virtue in others.
--Without Honesty there really isn't even such a concept as lies, just statements with varying degrees of convenience and expedience.
--Without Kindness there is nothing to stave off the insecurity that others are just looking for a chance tear you down and cause you pain.
--Without Laughter the world can seem an awfully big and scary place, full of senseless violence and cruelty.
--Without Generosity there can be no compassion for the needs of others, and thus no certainty that others could have any genuine care or concern for oneself.
--Without Loyalty there can be no bonds, nor reason to expect others to support you and thus no real incentive to become invested in the world around you.
--Without Friendship the only way to earn the respect of others is to assert authority over them, but while doing so can make you very POWERFUL, there is no real Magic to be had.
One last thing. All that philosophizing got me thinking more about Havocwing, and how of all the anti-6 she seemed the most off-put and unwilling to interact with her counterpart. The more I think about it the more I think that has less to do with how she is different from Fluttershy and more to do with how they are the same.
ReplyDeleteBoth are highly insecure, they just have different ways of coping with that insecurity. Fluttershy is timed and shy, but through genuine kindness hopes to appease those around her. Havocwing is crass and rude, trying to keep others at a safe distance so they can't become a threat.
This is also why despite initially being unsettled by Fluttershy, Havocwing has since become something of a protective mentor. Yes she is under orders to 'corrupt' Fluttershy as it were, but she seems to have become very genuinely concerned over the welfare of her assigned target.
@The Wandering Magus
ReplyDeleteIf to interpret hope as this: imagine the goal, and make yourself think it's great. But everything has a bad side, it's only a matter of finding or not finding that side in your goals. So the situation is that there are some ponies on a mission to corrupt something. What would be the way to fix that without compromises? They are now part of that world as much as Nihila. Any way of trying to change qualities or disable those anti-elements means corruption of those forces that are doing that. In other words, the Alicorns in this world made sure that the balance between good and evil is maintained (bipolar symmetry), so any confrontation in those directions is made useless. Agreement? As if it's possible to ever agree with element of Red. The others were great enough to not bring things into chaos, so far.
Also, Grayscale and Havocwing were kind of great characters so far...
@Entro
ReplyDeleteEverything has a bad side, but to focus on that is to ignore that everything also has a good side, no matter how small. In the yin yang, there is always darkness even in the area of greatest light, but at the same time even in the area of greatest darkness there is a bright and shining light. There is no good or evil, there is only the perception of it. Where there is a void, it can be filled. Where there is too much, it may be emptied. By going to their counterparts, and sharing both the high and the low, both are brought to balance, and is that not better for the both of them? Kindness without naivety, and realism without cynicism. Friendship without excessive lenience, and power without overbearing pride. When all parts are balanced, then there is Harmony. Even Discord is an agent of Harmony, though unwittingly, as a balance to Harmony itself. Nihila may call her realm a realm of Chaos, but there remains order- the order of the Laws of physics, of the Laws of language and speech which enables communication, of obedience from her servants. In the same way, even in Utopia there is Chaos- the chaos of the uncertainty principle which enables life, the chaos of Free Will, the chaos of language and thought. But, even in this darkest hour, in this multiverse of balance there must be a bright light. That light, is Hope, and that Hope is Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Just so you know, I cant shake the image at the end of this chapter out of my head. Whenever I see anything Pinkie Pie related I think about the end of this chapter. It makes me fear for her. You've done a tremendous job with that last chapter, but you better update sometime soon, otherwise I'll find it really hard to appreciate Pinkie when I see her in the coming days. Now, take your time to make it good obviously, but oh man that was intense. I have to say Red Velvet is significantly creepier than Frank from Blue Velvet (where I'm assuming she got her namesake).
ReplyDeleteAlso, that fight sequence between Pinkie and Velvet was amazingly done. The first song actually ended just as you gave a link to the second song, and that made me happy. Of course, the ending of that chapter made me lose all the elements of my happiness from that fight sequence, but I suppose that was your intent. Basically, this last chapter was one of the best things I've ever read. Pinkie Pie is by far the best fanfic character, and you really made her shine here.
Hey there everyone Couch here, one of Ganon’s friendly editor types. You don’t know how awesome I find this little discussion over the Mean Six is. Totally use that term by the way, we all do. It’s so terribly rewarding to see that those six mares are developing into full fledged and well rounded characters as they are. When you’re down in the nitty gritty of flowing plot and character interaction as I am its easy to lose track of the big picture some times. Not to mention I do love a good bout of philosophizing myself, heh heh. Anyhoo, I’m glad you are all enjoying the latest chapter. Keep on speculating my friends. The next chapter isn’t too far behind.
ReplyDeleteOw, really? No new comments since the beginning of March?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I JUST finished reading Chapter 16, and it was AMAZING.
At first I was actually feeling sorry for Red Velvet (even as I was totally cheering for Pinkie, and also quietly patting Fluttershy on the head for saying that she didn't want to be around Velvet anymore.) But then Red Velvet found Pinkie's weakpoint, and I predict she'll be nothing but terrifying from now on.
Like right now. *whimper*
@OtakuPatriot:
Lesbesians failing to be 100% Tomboys does NOT prevent certain Tomboys from being lesbesians. After all, Pinkie is the other half of this supposed relationship, and she isn't terribly tomboyish....she just really childish.
I'm not terribly sure if Rainbow and Pinkie really have done anything other than be really close. I think it might just have been Snapshot's identification that brought it up and now its in our minds.
I mean if AJ isn't getting together with Flathoof...
Rarity-Fluttershy and Insipid-Curacao are much more obvious. But even then, it could just be that Rarity is that overprotective and Insipid is greedy and vain and .... okay, you know what? Insipid's pretty obvious.
Another really good follow up chapter. Thanks for updating, now hopefully I can watch Pinkie Pie and not get scared whenever I see her. All right, now time for over-analyzation:
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love the way you've created Pinkie. The number one thing I love in fanfics is Pinkie (best fanfic character), and this is no exception. You've absolutely nailed her character. She appears invulnerable at first glance because she is one thing and only one thing: laughter. However, once you look into her you realize that she gains all of her laughter and all of everything she has from her friends. If you take away her friends, she is nothing, even less than Twilight. Her absolute invulnerability makes her naive to the point where we all could see her collapse coming, and when it was coming, it was going to come hard. Pinkie has no secondary lines of defense beyond her laughter, so if you break her, she gets broken. Well, she did, until now. Now that she's experienced being broken I think she's going to be ready next time. After seeing her broken I'm actually a lot more confident about her than when we saw her as invulnerable, because she's now prepared a second line of defense against Red Velvet.
Ok, so now that I'm done with Pinkie, lets see where the rest of the mane 6 are now. So, clearly, besides Pinkie, I dont see any of the rest of the mane 6 having any chance against their counterparts right now. I'm assuming that will change by the time they get out of the griffon kingdoms. Twilight has the potential to become even more overpowered than she already is, but I have a suspicion that those superpowers come with a price (Come to the power of the dark side!). Seriously though, in your universe, Twilight has more potential power than Celestia? Do you know how much power it takes to raise the sun? Well, it takes so much power an alicorn or a herd of unicorns to raise it! That's a lot of power, and Starlight has even more than that? Wow! The element of magic is really powerful, isn't it?
Ok, so now on to the anti-elements. I saw them changing a little bit and I figured it was something along the lines of both the elements and the anti-elements change each other. Its not as if the anti-elements are outright evil, but they just fill the void of what the elements lack naturally. The anti-elements have too much anti-elements in them, but eventually I imagine they are going to learn from each other, probably never so much that they'll become the same, but enough so that they will learn how to make up for their deficiencies. By the time this happens, I think evil boss dude (I forget his name) will be kind of screwed. He'd better have a good backup plan, because I think eventually 12 mares will be working against him. I'm only a little concerned about Red Velvet, she seems to be the only one who's aware of the reverse corruption, and is the only one who is actively fighting it. This makes her extremely unstable, and makes her the only one who would fight the boss guy for the wrong reason (for vengeance only). Indeed, I think she's the weak link in there.
TLDR: Pinkie is an amazing fanfic character and a bunch of other useless musings.
I like that there is a widening hierarchy of power; for all the power of Lord Silvertongue and the Enemies, there remains an unbreakable, omnipotent force beyond even the strength of lesser gods shrouding the remnants of a long-fallen kingdom. I also like how chronomancy at a high enough level can briefly annul even Starlight's powers. It makes you wonder how powerful the Greater Chronomancers are, being wardens and guardians of the multiverse. Likewise, it is good that thus far even the strongest of both sides of the conflict are barely system-level threats. A great many stories in both science fiction and fantasy tend to escalate threats to extreme levels, with sun-crushers and galaxy bombs or entities that consume entire universes. Not that I wouldn't like to see something of that sort at some point in this story; it would give the Six a minimally fighting chance at least. I do, however, believe that the anti-Six are Mary Sues in every sense of the term, and that is not what I would call a good thing. For a multiverse based upon the concept of Balance the two groups seem quite IMBALANCED. The last fight was a curbstomp like no other, with the Six surviving only due to an order from the sadist-turned-god who commands the anti-Six. Hip hip horray, everypony dies and Equestria undergoes Sugar Apocalypse, all hail Zalgo, all hail the end of Reality. The "fight" is laughable, the "counterattacks" jokes. So are all the efforts of the Six; for all their status as "Elements of Harmony" they hold ZERO power, ZERO ability, ZERO competency. It's like putting a baby in No Man's Land and calling it getting shot to bloody pieces an epic story. Characterization is all well and good, but at some point there has to be a limit to suspension of disbelief. Silvertongue and Rainbow are right; their unending streak of luck is becoming absurd, while the characters themselves lack even the POSSIBILITY of being anywhere NEAR capable of fending for themselves WITHOUT that luck. Helpless naive nudists show up in a city where they're more likely to get killed and raped, not necessarily in that order, than to be at the right building on a single street? No problem, there just so happens to be the city's ONE and ONLY nice policeman there to help out. Walking through a barren wasteland filled with creatures twice the size of Ursa Majors and stuck with a pathetic whimpering doormat that can't do ANYTHING AT ALL? No problem! You JUST got saved by the cavalry. Stuck in a cave in a mountain of solid gold with six creatures a million times more capable and competent than you at fighting and completely handing you your flank on a silver platter? NO PROBLEM, it JUST so happens that a few days before SOMEPONY received an INCREDIBLY hard to find MacGuffin which JUST so happens to be the ONE thing that can hold back the strongest of the ponies just DYING to kill you and eat your entrails. Chased by said creatures with no means of escape, having lost said MacGuffin? NO PROBLEM, the JUST so happens to be an impenetrable forcefield protecting you JUST as you're about to become deep-fried dinner. Take away all that luck and you've got level one free XP and loot. Barely enough to fill a stomach, let alone do anything at all worth doing. Frankly, as power levels go the Six SUCK BALLS. I'm hoping this changes, ever so slightly, in the future. Preferably near future. But it's your story. :/
ReplyDeletetl;dr story needs balancing imho.
ReplyDelete@The Wandering Magus
ReplyDeleteYour concerns are duely noted good Magus. To that I can only say but this, keep reading. I may say no more.
Well that wasn't quite how I thought this first conflict would resolve, but can't really knock it. I was worried that the mane-6 were going to basically get captured, or rather forcibly 'escorted', for the next chapter or two. I was quite glad to see Tick Tock get them out of that bind and with such flair too, mocking Starlight in the face like that takes gusto, failsafe or not. Really though, it was about time the girl got a chance to truly shine on her own merit, proving she can be more than an exposition device slash trouble magnet. Too bad it cost her mentor's Time-Keeper, and I do hope that won't mean a return to nigh impotence.
ReplyDeleteThen there was Silvertongue, who seems to have all but completely dropped the magnificent bastard act and gone into something of a fit of full blown psychotic villainy. He always had that edge of "You have failed me for the last time", but prior to now he seemed to do so with an amount of grace and civility, dolling out punishments more so to maintain standards than because it gave him wickedness jollies.
His punishment of Red Velvet was pretty much to be expected, even if a bit harsh to the extreme, after all surely he still needs her for whatever he's got planned. What was surprising though was his blatant execution of his Blutsauger. I mean sure the doctor hypothesized a scenario whereby Silvertongue himself might be at some degree of fault, but prior to now I hadn't imagined him to be quite so hypocritical as to dodge his own responsibilities by passing the blame, especially when the doctor backpedaled enough to suggest that it all could be an unpredictable variable related to the interactions between the clones and the originals. I should imagine though that part of his overkill on the doctor was due to being unable to properly vent his frustrations against Red Velvet, and all the worse that those frustrations were magnified by Starlight’s intervention.
Still though, I get that Silvertongue is under a lot of personal strain, not being used to meeting with these kind of difficulties and outright failure. He’s clearly someone who is very used to being in total control of every situation, but even so he seems to be cracking rather quickly under the strain. I do wonder how much of this is his true character showing though a well groomed facade versus how much it is the result of channeling Nihila's power and the subsequent backwash from creating Starlight Shadow which gave him a literal evil eye?
Anyway, good chapter, and all the more so for the speed of it release so as not to leave us hanging on the preceding cliffhanger.
@The Wandering Magus
ReplyDeleteI probably shouldn’t be sinking to this but, FLAT WHAT! Curbstomp battle, really? Are we not even reading the same story?
--Rainbow and Havocwing seemed fairly evenly matched. Even if the latter hadn't been holding back, the former’s speed and agility seemed up to the challenge and might even have been more than sufficient in the open air where she could push it all the way to a Rainboom.
--Likewise, Red Velvet was clearly getting schooled by Pinkie, even after getting the go head to use hemomancy by which point it became increasingly obviously the psycho was not holding much if anything back. That fight only took a turn for the worse when circumstance conspired to distract Pinkie and reveal a week spot to her fear craving adversary.
--Then there is Insipid, who even with her power theft trick was still nearly too incompetent to be anything much resembling a threat.
--Greyscale might have been out matching 3-on-1 odds, but now that they have a better understanding of her powers, knowledge that it’s gravity control rather than super strength, they should be better prepared for a rematch.
--As for Starlight, she may have a command of dangerously potent and seemingly limitless magic, but she also specifically states that Twilight is every bit as powerful only lacking the confidence and resolve to wield it as such.
--That leaves only Curacao, but her abilities don't seem like they'd be all the good in a straight fight anyway.
Yes the anti-6 are potently dangerous foes, but Mary Sues, no they aren't. The may have all manner of freaky powers, but the mane-6 are far from helpless foals and each possess their own unique, if less directly offensive oriented, abilities. More importantly there true strength lies in unity. Individually they might be weaker than their doubles, but together their power has proven enough to purify rogue a goddess and seal away the physical personification of chaos itself. If the anti-6 are Sues, it’s only because they were cloned from a set of the same.
As for the chain of luck that has kept the mane-6 safe, part of that is just the grace possessed by most fictional protagonists. Sure that can seem a bit of a stretch sometimes, but then again they have honestly had nearly as many randomly unexplainable setbacks, and have pulled their own tails out of the fire by skill and tenacity almost as often as by chance.
"I'll try to use small words so you can understand you [warthog faced] buffoon."
ReplyDeletePrincess bride? Yeah!!!
...Fuck Yeah!
The IDIOT villian, Silvertounge, is starting to piss me off with the apparent removal of almost EVERY SINGLE USEFUL PONY WORKING UNDER HIM. Seriously, if he refuses to accept that he MIGHT have done somethng slightly, and then kills the pony who kinda-sorta hinted at that, he should not be able to keep his empire thingy running.
ReplyDelete@1337pony
ReplyDeleteWell said, well said.
Apathy towards one another is detrimental to progress in achieving a team's goal, SilverToungue.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the events in the end of the chapter will galvanize the Mean 6 towards better teamwork hopefully. Though one must think that they may begin to question who they are answering to as well.
Also when will Flutterbrave show up? She's been a turtle in her shell most of the story and has yet to show her hidden strength.
@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
ReplyDeletethey were just beaten to a pulp and on the verge of easy capture when MacGuffin happened :/ fluttershy was The Load, Dash was cornered, Rarity got sapped to oblivion, Twilight, AJ and the others were pwned by a supremely bored Greyhoof, Velvet was pwning everypony except Starlight period, and Starlight didn't even try and still blasted a hole straight through the solid gold mountain range and clear to Pandemonium. Curacao didn't even need to do anything to help.
Starlight showing signs of caring, I'm going to call side-switch for later.
ReplyDeleteAnd Silvertongue has lost it and is now an amoral sadist. I smell conflict.
I've read this in like two days, and though I don't usually go for GrimDark, I've actually quite enjoyed it so far. The characters seem perfectly in-character for me (understanding that this is a darker story where even the "true" Equestria seems to be taken a little more seriously than the shwow), the OCs add to the story rather than detract, and it's just enjoyable. Also, while it took a while and is still rather subtle, the actual themes of friendship are actually here and once again seem like is going to be a core part of problem and possibly solution.
ReplyDelete@ Wandering Magus
I do agree that the Mean Six are dangerously close to crossing the Mary Sue line, but I don't think they are there yet. It's a very fine line, making a threat that's serious enough to cause real tension without strolling over to that territory. Still, it hasn't quite reached "Only the Author can Save the Now" levels yet, and between (hopefully) patching up some of the inner group conflict, some interesting intimations on what will happen between here and Chapter 20, and possibly Twilight accessing these hidden reserves of power that the story is constantly eluding to, I think they are a bit overpowered but not to an unreasonable degree.
I said it before, I'll say it again, if these doubles are Sues then it is only because they were cloned from a group of the same. Rainbow Dash, the first pony in recorded history to perform an actual sonic rainboom. Fluttershy, who can stare down a cockatrice, while it's turning her to stone no less. Twilight Sparkle, personal student of a god-like princess, magical prodigy of a caliber that no other unicorn seems to come even close to equaling, and who despite not understanding the value of friendship was able to unite with a group of strangers to unlock that self-same greatest magic of all. And all of that is just the fully canon stuff no less.
ReplyDeleteThen there is Pinkie Pie whose ability to bend the forth wall is impressive enough in the show, but in this story is so potent it allows her to reveal a life sized piñata double of herself that she has supposedly been carrying this whole time and to pull weaponry not just out of thin air, but from a future chapter. Applejack, who is possessed of such strength an resilience that she can still move no matter how much Greyscale turns up the gravity. Rarity, who can magnify an average unicorns abilities to a level approaching Twilight, and as revealed by Insipid’s theft can even magnify and enhance the innate abilities of other ponies as well.
When the anti-6 were first revealed I fully expected the first encounter against them would be a one-sided curbstomp, but that’s not what chapter 16 gave up, not by a longshot. Instead the mane-6 and allies were able to not only largely hold their own but actually fight back with more than reasonable effectiveness. Yes they lost that fight, but that was largely due to a lack of understanding their opponents abilities, and more importantly the unfamiliarity most of them have with true combat, coming from the peaceful world they do.
Furthermore, the anti-6 have more than proven that they aren’t any were near infallible or unstoppable, nor has their presence warped the personalities or reduced the competence the characters around them. In fact, quite the opposite seems to have happened as their attempts to corrupt the mane-6 seem to have backfired and begun uncorrupting themselves instead. When they were first introduced I could understand and even conceivably agree with anyone who wanted to make Sue accusations, but they have all proven to be far more interesting and multifaceted characters since then.
Flathoof started out and continues to be more of Sue than the any of the anti-6. Honest man living in a city of sin and coruption, with all the right contacts to expedite immigration procedures and find lodging for the mane-6, even catch the affection of AJ to the point were those feelings can be used as part of an attempt at corrupting the farmpony.
“♫ I rip your left... leg... out...”
ReplyDeletePyscho Pie is doing it wrong. You can't rip a leg out and rip it back in. That's not how the Hokey Pokey works.
@The Wandering Magus Quite honestly, I was expecting a curb-stomp but what I got was a much closer fight than I anticipated. While its pretty clear the anti-6 are stronger than the mane 6, they aren't that much stronger. I think Pinkie can beat Velvet in a rematch, and the guy with the long name (6283) makes a good point that Rainbow would be evenly matched with Havocwing in the open air. Rarity and Tick Tock seem pretty evenly matched with Insipid, and in the fight, that makes Greyscale the only one who appeared overpowered who fought. Admittedly, Twilight did kind of suck in this battle, which surprised me, but if she can summon the same power that Starlight can, we can cancel those two out of the equation for the next encounter. Applejack couldn't beat Greyscale alone, but next time with Flathoof I'd bet their odds would be better. Yes, Curacao was out of the fight, but you have to realize that Fluttershy was out of it too. I'm honestly not sure what Fluttershy could do to help significantly, as I dont think her stare would be optimal in this situation, but every little bit helps, and Curacao is better at manipulation than at fighting. Fluttershy probably has a healing ability or something that she hasn't discovered yet as she's the element of kindness. So, basically, this fight actually made the mane 6 a lot more even with the anti-6 than I first thought they would be. I definitely dont see it as a curb-stomp.
ReplyDelete[Shipping] tag unlocked! Quick, equip it!
ReplyDeleteNice chapter, although Pinkie is downright depressing now. I guess a speedy recovery was too much to hope for. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteI may have to read this...
ReplyDelete@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
ReplyDeleteDear "Base 16": That is a downright AWESOME explanation for the Mean 6's mental states. As such, I want to pass along my own little theory onto you, and see if you can pick it apart.
Specifically, I'm wondering about the whole "Magic" issue, and how it all REALLY works. Tic Tock seems to think it works in a triangular fashion Via Chaos, Order, and Void. Twilight, on the other hoof, seems to think it works on a polar Light/Dark spectrum. Me, I see it as being more of an X/Y/X setup.
Lets start with the classic D&D model. On the top, we have order. On the bottom, we have Chaos. To the left, we have Light. To the right, we have Dark. However, just as Discord was the embodiment of Chaos ~AND~ Disharmony, there must be another point of reference on this map. On one side we have Balance, or as the Equestrians call it, Harmony. On the other side, we have it's counter force. Disharmony is too big of a mouthful. Discord is too easily confused with the person by that same name. Lets call it Void.
Chaos & Order. Darkness & Light. Harmony & Void. The X/Y/Z accesses (this is a word, but is it the right one?) of magic. Am I anywhere close to making sense?
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ReplyDeleteAhh, the classic point in such stories where the heroes enter a place of 'sanctuary', a place of order, harmony, and light barring creatures and forces of chaos and evil, in which there exists the dungeon that only those purest of heart may enter. Here our heroes will face numerous dangers and obstacles they must overcome physically, mentally, and spiritually. Only when our heroes succeed in these trials of the soul will they receive the ancient and mystical power deep within to rid the world of the evil that has beset it. The Elements of Discord better watch their flanks, because the next time the 2 groups meet, it will be on equal hoofing...
ReplyDelete@Starcat5
ReplyDeleteI can see your point, though personally at this time I'm not yet willing to make any attempt at guessing what system this author is going for. There is just too little information to work with, and what we do have has been conflicting.
That said I have my own personal opinions that I would work from if I were ever to write my own fan-fic, which are based largely on the classic D&D model. Personally, I would consider Harmony to be largely synonymous with lawful-GOOD, everyone working towards a collective goal for mutual benefit (also note that while the unified concept of harmony might be lawful-good, that does not mean that each individual element is also that exact alignment, thus allowing for the more chaotic nature of Pinkie’s laughter). While Discord, or STRIFE so as not to be confused with the draconequus, is the counter point being synonymous with chaotic-EVIL, a state of needless conflict and selfish unrest. I can see a point to adding a third access of Void -vs- ???, though as I said before I don’t feel like I have enough of a handle on where this author is going with the concept. I could see it as somewhat like the 4e D&D cosmology, with the Astral Sea as the source of ordered stability, the Elemental Chaos as a source of wild creativity, and the Far Realm as a source of unknowable corruption.
I could, and would rather enjoy, going into greater detail about how I see a D&D-like alignment system in relation to the individual Elements of Harmony and their bearers, both current (mane-6) and past (the royal sisters), but seeing as none of that would likely have much to do with this particular author’s interpretation within this story, I don’t really feel like this comment thread would be the appropriate venue for that conversation.
I just want to say: nice call on Sherlock Pie! Now we know she learned her lesson from the episode today and once she discovered how to look for clues, she discovered she was actually really good at it!
ReplyDeleteNice chapter. I'm so glad Pinkie Pie is back, your ability to make me laugh with her is phenomenal!
ReplyDeleteYes! Yes! Power-ups! I SO saw this coming at least four-five chapters ago! Next fight is gonna be awesome! \o/
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great story.
Well this chapter was a bit exposition heavy. All of it fairly informative if a bit long winded, though I suppose we can blame some of that on Gilderoy's self-admission of such. Still, this is the first time I was unable to read a chapter of this story in a single sitting. I am however inclined to forgive the author for seemingly underestimating how much text it would take to get to this point as it allowed Pinkie to get in another wonderful wall breaking comment about her upcoming chapter 20 gag.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, as predicted the Mane-6 all have powers equal in potency to their counterparts, just less fully realized. Most of them are pretty much exactly what I would have expected. Rainbow's being more than just speed was a little surprising, but still feels like a natural extension. AJ was the biggest surprise, not so much that her powers are based on Geomancy but rather the direction in which it is expressed. I would have expected something perhaps more along the lines of earthbending from the Avatar series, though limited to close range tactile applications. Instead, as best I could gather, her powers seem more like the Absorbing Man. Although given her restricted ability to test out her abilities, we might not yet have gotten a good picture of their full function (though at a guess her ability to fully fill out Tick Tocks map of the gryffon city was an extension of her powers).
Then there is Fluttershy, her powers are no surprise, rather instead the interesting bit here is that in light of limited application given the lack of applicable fauna, she’s given an artifact to channel her power. Actually I was perhaps a little surprised she was the only one to receive such, at the very least I might of expected AJ to receive an artifact to help channel her powers into an offensive form. I suppose this might indicate another chink in the Anti-6 that could be exploited, as both Havokwing and Grayscale Force might be equally reliant on the hoof-boots they wear to fully channel their own powers. Back to Fluttershy though, I was a bit disappointed that she must bind her newly acquired spirit companion to a singular animal form. I was quite stoked when it initially seemed she would have an amorphous companion capable of shifting to take on whatever animal form was needed at any given time. It will be interesting to see what form it ultimately takes, though I have sneaking suspicion that it won’t be any of the obviously combat applicable animals she was considering and that it may all too likely instead end up something seemingly innocuous, like a bunny, only to prove itself surprising adept despite such a seemingly limited form. Although I suppose that it could go in entirely the opposite direction and end up as a giant dragon, which would be amusing given Fluttershy’s typical phobia thereof.
Finally there is the matter of the path the group will be taking to exit the gryphon ruins. The Red Death, eh? Seems like this might be related, if not identical, the Blood Mire from all the way back in chapter 7, which could well mean the return of Shadowstep, or rather whatever undead abomination he likely became. That would be a bit contrivedly convenient, given that Silvertongue’s punishment/gift always seemed oddly suspect, but if such an encounter plays out even only half as well as I imagine it should still be a spectacular pay off. Also, speaking of Silvertongue, if as Gilderoy’s story implied he’s the same unicorn that conspired to create the current world state, well he just gained a ton of new depth.
Arrrgg.... Since apparently my last post wasn’t overly long enough I have one more thing to say, though given the length of the chapter in question I feel no regret. :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I was a bit surprised and possibly off put by just how blatantly Pinkie was showing off her powers. I rather hope that was all just for the sake of example and her getting caught up in the excitement of the moment, as her zany exploits loose much of their comedic value when given such obvious focus, which given that they are supposed to be derived from her Element of Laughter is something of a key concern.
Yes I know, I’m not supposed to overthink this kind of stuff, MST3K mantra and all, and normally I’m fully inclined to do just that, but as I said, the scenes in this chapter had a rather blatantly “in your face” feel, calling way too much attention to the impossible nature of her cartoon physics power set.
@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996 I thought of earth bending as well when AJ learned of her powers as well. But perhaps with some trial and error she could perhaps emulate that to it's fullest. But I'll have to your second example is closer too it. Nontheless Earthbending AJ would be badass and I think it would be nice to see an example of that in this story.
ReplyDeletePersonally I think Dash would have known a little more about her powers before this expedition given her talent and immense involment on the weather team.
Hopefully with this new Developement with Fluttershy we shall finally break out of her Shell and start acting a bit more brave and less timid.
Long chapter loved the last quarter of it.
@Ikusa GT
ReplyDeleteAs I see it Dash's ignorance of her super power is the same as the CMC's ignorance of the talents that might lead to their cutie marks. Sure she knew weather patrol was something she was good at, but she never saw her talents as special because of how easily it came to her.
...and now this fic has more awesome artwork. Not quite as epic as the cover shot, but having single character portraits for each of the Anti-6 is cool.
ReplyDeleteThough Grayscale seems a bit colorful. Yes I know she's not actually gray, but I still thought her colors were supposed to be a bit more muted. Also, Isn't Havocwing supposed to have hoofwear as well. Oh well. great artwork is still great artwork.
This story is interesting, and I'll be brief as I may. Just gonna throw down some vague criticisms, as the boatload of other comments have probably nailed every possible thought I could otherwise have from six different directions already.
ReplyDelete-Very creative world building, especially the dystopia of Pandamonium. I'm looking forward to see if Utopia is all that, or if its strange, or what.
-there's a lot of contrived plot coincidences which you lampshade, than come back and lampshade again...
-Some bits felt like you wandered out of the story's course and tone just to snag a particular joke. I like the humour but a fair bit of it seemed forced sometimes for the sake of a punch line...
-the emotional setting seems a little uncertain. It shifts nigh randomly from silly to grim, I think some of that is with the jokey bits.
...Just in the case of Velvet, she's gone from scary quiet psycho to chatty cannibal, sociopathic maniac, comedic sociopathic maniac, ineffectual sociopathic maniac, all the way back to extremely scary psychopath and then back to quiet psycho. Phew. Its done this with every character, other than Ol' metal wings(if he's really dead O.o) and Silvertongue himself.
-The references. oh my there's a LOT. and that's just from within the show itself >.> imo, overbearing, but ymmv.
-combat scenes: they read like several independant fights going on simultaneously but not connected so much, again, imo, this took away from the pacing. (though the music is an appreciated touch) Otherwise, I didn't actually know which way the first 6va6 would turn out, so that was intriguing.
- Magic. -Solves- -Everything- 19 is pages and pages and pages saying it'll be even more so. I got a serious "avatar last air bender" feel reading it. You know, the library episode. explanations and demonstrations were quite verbose... again, lampshaded bluntly. Seeing the magic and its many many many schools of XXXXmancy... kinda makes me wish for a half brick in a sock.
-Quite liked the disparate group dynamics; the shifting little bouts of loyalty and conflicts, the asides with the EoD/antisix. would like to see more from their point of view, considering they weren't entirely sure of their own reasoning at the start of this trip. Elated with Silvertongue's worry that they might be fostering their own personal growth as characters over time.
-also am liking the three good oc's. the unsteady and uneven relationships they have help round them out
-I do believe there is to be a big ol' sword poppin' up for Pinkie Pie in 20. I'll keep an eye out for it xD.
-Take care ye author. yay for you're new pictures.
Just finished reading the whole thing. Here's some thoughts:
ReplyDelete-The ways the Elements of Discord contradict the Mane 6. Perfect, just perfect. I especially like how Insipid is a valley girl in comparison to Rarity's ladyness, and how Grayscale is this passive character whilst Rainbow is an active powerhouse. Also, Curaçao is an orange liqueur whereas Applejack is an alcoholic drink made from apples. Smart reference.
-Emotional trauma. The idea of Red Velvet traumatizing Pinkie Pie is so disturbingly epic, it boggles my mind. Red Velvet is a fantastic antagonist in her own right, a pony Hannibal Lecter, if you will. Definetly my favourite original character in the fic.
-The subtlety in the conversations. The way the characters interact you can really feel the emotions they feel rather than just read about them. Very well conveyed.
-Pinkie. 'nuff said.
-Twilight and Tick Tock's bickering is... funny, but a little annoying at times. They should at least get along a LITTLE, given the circumstances.
-Doctor Whooves seemed... off. I remember him as more spontaneous, more friendly and more compassive. Oh well, author's interpretation.
Aaaand that's my two bits. Can't wait for more Pinkie in Chapter 20 :3
Chapter 20 is here. ...and the sword showed up for all of six seconds before being pulled back in time and abandoned in a cave. *Facehoof*
ReplyDeleteANOTHER things that made me plant a hoof in my face was this:
~
“Pinkie Pie, there’s no such thing as zombies,” Tick Tock huffed, her patience finally wearing thin, “Bunch of superstitious nonsense just like ghosts are.”
~
I was just WAITING for Fluttershy to say "I am being followed by a Zoo full of ghosts right now. Your argument is invalid."
And now the BIG question brought on by this chapter: Just what IS the Blood Mire anyway? Apparently it works by trapping a pony's soul in their own lifeless husk, forced to endure a "living" Hell until such time as their fleshy prison is destroyed, and maybe not even THEN! And the City is using the place as it's dumping ground for their own dead? Generations upon generations of LITERALLY twice-damned souls, suffering for all eternity. I can't be the ONLY one who is wondering if the Blood Mire is less a dumping ground for dead bodies, as much as the City is a breeding ground for new zombies in waiting. Could Silvertoung's Mistress be using the suffering from all those Lost Ones as a power source? Is the Blood Mire the reason the City exists, rather than the other way around?
Well, the sword joke fell a bit flatter than I had hoped, otherwise though this was a great chapter. A little slow at the start maybe, but once the action got started it was all rather intense.
ReplyDeletePlus the plot thickens as zombified Shadowstep not only shows up for the expected showdown, but proves to be in full retention of his mental faculties, still in Silvertongue's service, and scariest of all able to ignore the Blood Mire barrier thus adding him fully back into the narrative's list of antagonists.
Fluttershy's familiar wasn't a bunny. I am disappoint.
ReplyDeleteOh well, still a good chapter.
Holy Epic chapter update, Batman!
ReplyDeleteI mean...my god.
Okay, so...
Applejack now can take minerals into her body (kinda useful in case Velvet wants to make some Apple-flavored cupcakes....unless she goes Molestia with her blood tentacles and cuts the inside of AJ...)
Fluttershy can summon spirit animals
Dash can call down lightning. She ends up being able to do that in a lot of fics. My little Chrono, Dangerous Business...
Pinkie Pie can tell physics to shut up and bend over (when she's in a silly mood instead of say, a HORRIFIED one)
Rarity can buff anyone to bring their special talent to new heights.
And Twilight can counterbalance Shadow's unique magic with her own unique magic.
Oh, and the three OC ponies got some spotlight in something that only involved each other. A nice way to explore their characters.
Good Chapter 19 finally over. Hey, did I just see a Starfox reference... and Pinkie Pie can... uh, nevermind...
ReplyDeleteAnd caught up! Loved every minute of this, can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteI finished reading the whole thing a few days ago and now it got updated, sweeeeet... :)
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your work, the story and characters are superb!
Holy crap the new mane 6 art, I love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd the new chapter was great too. Nice to see the mean 6 receive a good beat down of their own.
Pinkie Pie's fight with Red Velvet in chapter 21 had me laughing and giggling at both the antics and references.
ReplyDeleteAs a native French speaker, I winced a few times at the French lines, especially when Curaçao starts to panic and switches to French.
ReplyDelete"Quel est-il maintenant?!" doesn't make sense in the context where it is written.
"Fermer votre bouche, avant je fermer pour vous, putain" -> "Fermez votre bouche avant que je ne la ferme pour vous, putain"
That minor flaw apart, I find how her accent is transcripted absolutely hilarious. I could almost hear her speaking with that stereotypical French accent. Not only that, but the whole fanfiction is one of the best I have ever read.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Futhark, would you like a consulting job to help get Curaçao's French better? the occasional weekly email in exchange for better viewing access to the story?
ReplyDeleteI'm one of the editors, and you would be a much better resource than google translate or my own pidgin French.
I originally had the line as "Fermez la bouche, vous êtes battant, mécréant!" but the author changed it. I am more interested in flow than accurate "context" translations. "Shut your mouth" doesn't sound as fast in French as it does in English to me. I mean. I could be completely wrong. I've only studied French academically for a few years, your internal monologue might run in French.
That's the kind of stuff as to why I'd love having someone as an actual language consultant. :)
I hope you check back soon on the comments to see this. If you'd interested, give Ganon a heads-up on his DA: http://ganonflcl.deviantart.com/
La langue française est l'une des plus belle de toutes! (watch me screw that up c: )
Just read everything that's up so far.
ReplyDeleteholy bucking god that has got to be one of the greatest fight scenes i have ever read....pretty much everything was perfect.
Can't wait for more updates.
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ReplyDeleteRead the latest chapter. Gotta say, it was very cathartic... but now I sit back and wait for HER enlightenment.
ReplyDeleteI tried to put that as spoiler free as possible. Keep going!
This fic is now part of my top 5. At the time of this posting, it baffles me to notice that there are only 275 comments, when I feel it deserves 10 times more. Adventure, action, suspense...I can't wait to see where this is going.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I really disliked though? The fighting and arguing between the mane 6. I understand that this is precisely what the bad guys engineered to happen, but it kills me to see them arguing with each other, or worse, coming to blows. I'm glad things seem to be on the mend, but I'd much rather see confrontations between good and evil than in-between friends.
In any case, I'm dying to read more. This fic is bloody awesome and the artwork helps bring it to life!
I agree completely with Metapsionic, love the story overall, can not STAND the incessant in fighting, bickering, and drama within the group.
ReplyDeleteYes I understand the stress they are under, and it is handle pretty well, I just hate hate HATE stuff like that period, in any story i read/watch. especially when part of the issue is somepony/one simply not bucking talking about what's wrong *glares at AJ*. Not saying your doing a bad job using it, it's just one of my personal biggest pet peeve tropes.
Overall great fic and can't wait for more, just hopefully the drama ends soon.
The words I'm looking for to describe this story can't be found in dictionary how good this story is.
ReplyDeleteLove the RvB easter Egg. I am glad rainbow had a journey of self discovery. Now the true battle begins.
ReplyDeleteHow much longer will this take to complete, because although this is a very interesting and entertaining story I don't know if I can read past the first few chapters until this story is complete, because the waiting in between chapters might cause me psychological torment
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't worry too much about the waiting in between chapters. The Authors been very good with keeping a consistent update pace and the chapters he brings out are pretty sizable and gives you a lot to chew on afterwards!
ReplyDeletea day reading this fic is a day well spent.
Oh, that was excellent as always.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely curious about who or what the reflection was. And it's nice to see Dash get her head on straight.
This is an odd thought I've had throughout this story. The main six and their evil twins are supposed to be very powerful ponies, but one man with a rifle and the request experience could kill them all.
ReplyDeleteI realize that there are no guns in this story, I just strikes me as profound how meaningless their powers actually are. With patience and the proper application of knowledge and energy, one person could accomplish more with out powers than they have accomplished with.
This is the reason why pikemen replaced knights, and the crossbow replaced the long bow; why the assembly line allowed unskilled labors to do the job of artisans.
ok, all the negative stuff I said about chapter 22.....SO TAKEN BACK!, 23 was just bucking EPIC!. As much as I hate that type of situation, when done right, the point they realize what dumbflank Plot-Holes they've been and come out better for it, can make it worth it, and this..this was just bucking PERFECT...though really wanna know who/what that reflection was and why there was a bubble under water.
ReplyDeleteJust finished chapter 9. Red Velvet's song, OMG she's so evil its adorable XD
ReplyDeleteVery nice work thus far. I too would like to know the story about how Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash realized their feelings for each other. That story has a lot of potential for development how considering that Rainbow Dash sort of tries to hide it (or perhaps it is more in being in a relationship itself?) and that it is always interesting to see how that relationship developed over time especially when it is not conforming to a society's norm. I think that this is especially important considering the relationship became an important plot detail in the first fight against the doppelgangers. While I don't think the characters need a "reason" (does any relationship of any sort actually need to have a "reason"?) I do think it is important to find out how they got to this point, though the trick is can you do it by making sense in the story and without being contrived? I think you can as your work thus far has been great keep it up!
ReplyDeleteAlso how terrifying would it be if Red Velvet was set loose on Pandemonium? THink about it just scaring a small group made her that powerful what would she be like scaring a city that size? Powerful enough to put a little fear Starlight Shadow perhaps and if so how much would that boost Red's powers...
ReplyDeleteAw yeah, just finished reading the chapters I hadn't caught up on yet, and that was freaking awesome! In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have devoted a large chunk of my spare time towards reading a fic two weeks before my final, university-determining A-level exams, but hell, this one's worth it :D
ReplyDeleteYES! FINALLY, YES! Someone's putting 2 and 2 together and figuring out they've been manipulated. Maybe, FINALLY, the fighting will stop and we'll get to see a little *harmony* in there.
ReplyDeleteVery eager to see where this is going!
After reading chapter 22 (at last... but wait), I'm getting slight SMBZ vibes in Ep.8. Too bad that series has stopped.
ReplyDeleteWoah. Scream, Scream, Scream indeed.
ReplyDeleteRed Velvet is a straight up nightmare. Also, Dash is best pony once again.
Red Velvet's lines were a bit hard to read for a bit but still. SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM!
ReplyDeleteI SURE DO LIKE IT WHEN I CAN'T READ WHAT'S HAPPENING.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, chapter 24 was obnoxious. Red text and bold text are fine, and convey your point well, but I have no idea at what point Rainbow Dash arrived, and I have very little idea of what happened through that segment. I really hope that WASN'T the goal, because making your story unreadable seems counterproductive, but I suspect this was on purpose. The fic has otherwise been great, but don't ever do that again.
Peace,
Sonar009
We knew what we were doing, and that it would be potentially polarizing. I hope a few people found our endeavor more adventurous and actually slowed down to read if they found it difficult. Visual conveyance is a method that is not inherently inferior nor superior--you will notice in one portion the words followed the visual movement. :0) In any case, yes, it was to be basically a one-time thing. I hope your initial annoyance wanes, but be assured that your point is taken.
ReplyDeleteIs there a version of chapter 24 without the Zalgo-text? It is literally impossible for me to read, and trying to do so in this chapter started to give me a migrane.
ReplyDeleteI love the song. However I'm SOOOO having hard time to read what's Red saying in a monstrous tone.
ReplyDeleteI've discovered that using Google Doc's "save as" feature vastly reduces the impact of the Zalgo text, keeping it from spilling over onto other lines of text. It doesn't get rid of it entirely, unfortunately, but it makes it possible to follow what is going on.
ReplyDeleteI tried a bunch of them, and the rtf and doc options seem to give the best results.
Zalgo is created by characters, not formatting, so stripping the formatting doesn't remove it, but if you fiddle with the fonts, you might be able to find one that reduces the Zalgo text's impact even further.
Can't edit these comments for some reason, but it is the 'Download as' in the file menu in Google Docs, not "save as". My bad.
ReplyDeleteMy eyes are bleeding. I was cheering at Dash's entrance, because it meant I could ignore Red's words as background art. And then Pinkie pulled a Big Damn Heroes moment. And A.J. STILL doesn't know that Miss Changeling was posing as Rarity. One would THINK that the Mane Six would have compared notes by now, but NO! *Head Desk*
ReplyDeleteI....I have to agree, there were parts i literally could not read, it wasn't having to slow down...i literally could not make out what the words were supposed to be, or even in what order near the end.
ReplyDeleteI mean artistically I think it's great, it really works to convey the mood, but could we get a version where we actually know what's going on as well?
Though, i will say the way the, whatever the buck it was, moved along the page was damn creepy and effective, just, not when it overlapped the words.
ReplyDeleteOkay. Chapter 24 was fucking awesome.
ReplyDeleteBut....was there anything I was supposed to know happening in blacked out lines when Rainbow was searching for Pinkie near the end of the chapter? As far as I can tell, Dash found Pinkie and the power of their love jump-started Pinkie's magic and all hell broke loose.
Also, some of Velvet's text used characters my computer cannot read. What the hell did you use?
@Xaos
ReplyDeleteYeah I was having the same problem. Almost a third of the fight was ruined for me because Red's freaking dialogue was in God knows what. o.o I couldn't read any of it.
I think people are missing the point of the Zalgo text. It's supposed to be hard to read, Especally with the sections with Dash and Pinkie. The feeling of being lost in the horror is conveyed more to the reader by being lost in the typography of Velvet's speach. It was made even more fun by Pinkie in the end speaking in her own happy Pink Zalgo.
ReplyDeleteIt's so rare to see mood conveyed by layout and typography it novel form but it's quite fun when it is used well. Check out "House of Leaves" if you want to see a story full of this mood creating typography.
@Jagafeh
ReplyDeleteThere's a difference between that, and being simply unreadable, sadly. Until your post, I had no idea that Pinkie had her own Zalgo text. I had noticed that RD was apparently able to Hijack the Zalgo somehow, but only because her blue text stood out from everything else. I have no idea how she managed it, and it ended up just confusing me more, as I couldn't figure out what was going on.
Partway through the Zalgo section, Red Velvet stopped being scary, and was just confusing. I honestly couldn't follow the action, thanks to that.
@Jorlem
ReplyDeleteTypographical mooding is an acquired taste, sadly.
I can't talk for the author and his reasons with the Zalgo text but I enjoyed having to struggle to read the text round the Zalgo. It mimics the struggle of the characters to escape the soul crushing mood that Velvet puts them in.
This is especially true when Dash is lost looking for Pinky in the miasma that is Velvet's blackness. you get lost just as much as she does looking for Pinky.
Oh and it's pinky who mimics the Zalgo at the end of the chapter with her cry of Yatta, the blue and pink hues describing Pinkie's and Dash's final togetherness.
I agree that doing something like that is an artistic choice and can adds LOTS of depth and feel to a story, and convey stuff far in excess of the words...but not when it makes it unable to know what's going on. i have no IDEA what happened in the end, all i could follow was Dash got sucked in, did something, found pinkie somehow, then pinkie goes nuts.
ReplyDeleteLike i said, it LOOK amazing and DOES add a creepy feel, but can we get a footnote or a sidebar with readable text so we know WHAT happened other then it being creepy and weird?
I personally thought the text added a ton of creepiness to the situation. The fact that I was lost in the reading not completely sure what was going on got me more immersed in the story, because I felt the horror of everypony there. Maybe my eyes are just different or something, but I found it added more than it took away.
ReplyDeleteJust finished chapter 22, and it completely summarized why I don't like Rainbow Dash much.
ReplyDeleteShe's a complete moran.
In her rant she continuously tries to ignore what Tick Tock is saying which is exactly what SHE ACUSES EVERYPONY ELSE DOING TO HER. Then she claims that Applejack is not a good Element if Harmony, because she's not talking about a PERSONAL problem. Hey Rainbow Dash, did it ever occur to you that insulting, belittling, and not trusting your fruend's judgement ISN'T LOYOL AT ALL!?
The parts that really piss me off are when Rainbow Dash starts accusing Lpckwood off tricking Fluttershy into his pants. She can really judge character well, can't she? And of course, she claims that all of her plans are totally perfect. Except for the fact that they would get everypony killed, which defeats the point of the fastest route just a little bit, don't you think?
To top it off, she leaves, which really proves that she's LOYOL and that she'll stick with them. Yep. She's definitely NOT a pissed-off meanie pants at all.
Haven't commented in a while and I won't even try to summarize all my thought on this story since then other than to say that this story has continued to be a brilliant thrill ride.
ReplyDeleteIt sort of hurts me to see so many folks complaining about Dash's behavior in Ch22. It's hardly out of nowhere. The setup had been building for quite some time, and most importantly it's all to facilitate the glorious turnabout in Ch23. Anyone who stops at Ch22 is seriously missing out.
I would also like to throw my support towards the artistic choices made with the visual text towards the end of Ch24. Yes it was nightmarishly hard to read, but that was the point. It put me very much in the minds set of when film puts so many audio filters on a character that their voice becomes barely more than indistinct noise meant more to convey mood then information. In both cases it's an effect that if over used becomes annoying, but I don't think its use in this single chapter crosses that line.
It's also not like it went full out all at once. It builds slowly at first, creating a sense of dread as we can visually see Velvet's power reach the point that it starts bleeding out of her text. Then it just gets worse, and worse, until her text becomes more a terrifyingly indistinct background than actually important information. Yes by that point it is basically impossible to read what she's saying, but by that point we don't really need to read it either. The point is that she's nearly transformed into a Cthulhu-like abomination, and as such even trying to comprehend her should drive us insane. One doesn't so much read Velvet's text directly, but rather around the edges and out of the corner of the eye.
Anyway, great job, keep up the good work, can't wait for the next chapter, and all that other jazz. Seriously, this has been and continues to be one of my favorite fics.
Sir Visceral Clottington McKillicutty the Third, Esquire is now on my favorite OC list. Also great chapter to finally see Silver Tongues plan come into action and for the mean six to find out they were clones.
ReplyDeleteThrowing in my two cents.
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't read the latest chaptesr, watch out, we've got some spoilers coming!
Commenting on the past few chapters, I found the point where Rainbow Dash boils over and leaves to be natural. Yeah, it's totally out of character and makes everyone face palm, but then again you got to remember that she's been listening to Grayscale and no one else for a long time. Obviously, that screwed up her perspective on things and made her blind to her own shortcomings. But even with this massive failing on her part we still got a legitimately good thing out of it.
She basically gave the "Why you suck" Speech to each mare specifically. If you ask me, that was something that all the characters desperately needed to begin the long process of healing their relationships and becoming their usual selfs again.
Then we come to chapter 23 and Rainbow Dash finally gets the wake up call from Harmonia herself (That's not a fact, that's just an assumption.) I found it to be a little poetic that the one whose been the most corrupted ends up the one being purified and knows the source of the taint. So it was a very triumphant moment for me as a reader to see Dash fly out of the storm renewed and finally back to her senses. In short, this story is great! Every chapter lends something to the overall plot, and that moment creeps up on you and surprises you when it actually starts to happen.
Then we hit chapter 24 and we see probably the most perilous fight yet with the two teams. Team Harmony has serious handicaps and Team Discord are fresh and raring to go. I absolutely love how the relationships between the two teams are being explored and built up while fighting (Fitting and very entertaining to read) I find myself disliking Insipid more and more with each passing fight. (Not in a way that detracts from the story, but in a way that makes me want to read and find out how she ends up.)
I found myself worrying that, yes Team Discord might just win out today. But when I saw Red Velvet start to lose it I started to breath easy again because it represented the chink in the armor for me. Yeah, it was pretty unsettling to scroll through that morbid text and terrifyingly grim perversion of "Smile Smile Smile" but come on, it's Red Velvet, of course she's going to be all spooky. (This only succeeded because of how well you built up Red Velvet as a character) So kudos' to you! (Er, take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm in no ways an expert when it comes to story telling)
The latest chapter, (SPOILER ALERTS ABOUND.)
Holy Moly, I really don't know what to make of that little plot twist you put in there. Silvertongues either some sort of deranged zealot of Harmonia still or just a power hungry Unicorn that wants it all.
I found myself a little disheartened to see Nihila's fate, in a way, I'm not to sure how I should feel about her. In one hand, she's the goddess of all evil and it's probably a good thing to see her go away... but on the other, Evil is still very much apart of light and to see such actions taking place to forcibly remove evil just seems misguided to me. You can't just take away evil in the world, that's just a recipe for disaster.
Although, yes I am aware that Silvertongue has that beacon to keep the powers in check so even if he truly did kill Nihila, the world would be fine. Now I'm speculating that Silvertongues planning the demise of Harmonia now. He's got the power for it. the beacons are in place. Killing Harmonia wouldn't have an averse affect on the world. But, Silvertongue would be the undisputed master on the world. It seems fitting.
Long comment, is long. Sorry for that but if you've read it all congrats!
Red Velvet just got even better, I wouldn't have guessed that was possible.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved seeing Silvertongue's plans come to fruition, though I suspect he will come to regret cutting the Elements of Discord loose and tell them the truth about their origins like he did there towards the end.
.....
ReplyDelete....WHOO!
BEST. UPDATE. EVAH!
OMG, OMG, OMG! So much awesome! The Elements of Discord are going to be even more determined than ever.
Well, fanfiction has some of its great extras in this story: fanart, links to external-content, feedback...wow. Thanks for including it.
ReplyDeleteI loved chapter 23. It was really deep and an extraordinary insight in Rainbow Dash, and it fitted well with the otherwise action-packed narrative.
Hello again,
ReplyDeleteMy 2 cents :-)
That fight in the canyon was scary as can be: Team Harmony is running on vapours of vapours. If I were them I'd be screaming at the heavens, demanding why oh why this keeps going. I feel so bad for them. And apparently Team Discord can teleport stupidly far and thus have access to food and rest whenever they want.
I really hate Insipid, but it's a flattering kind of hatred I guess. I hate her for her personality, which is very well fleshed out, if impossibly shallow. What scares me is that there doesn't seem to be a limit of how many powers we can copy over. If she had the brains to, she could grab the powers of both teams and become an unstoppable force. I'm glad she doesn't have 2 braincells to rub together.
Curacao has all the braincells though. She's scary smart and she knows it. I'm glad she was only in charge temporarily. And now we get to Velvet...as deranged, psychotic and scary as ever. She's great.
Now I must take a break here and shower you with praise. Velvet is a very fleshed out character, and all this buildup led to an AMAZING fight. There was no way anyone could stand up to her. The corrupted version of Smile Smile Smile was nothing short of glorious and sent shivers down my spine. And the special text added to the mood so much! *Especially* the part where Dash is kind of lost in the creepy universe and needs to find Pinkie. The fact that you took the time to format the text comic-book style to really make it sound like Velvet's laughter is disembodied and all over the place...take all my internets. You'd deserve 5 stars right there!...
Sadly, you took it too far. All this buildup, this story, this fighting, this mood...ruined. The formatting of the text makes it unreadable further down the pages. It broke the wonderful creepy illusion you created. At first it was annoying, then it became a struggle, and at the end it was hands down the most frustrating fanfic experience I ever had. I was cursing you out loud. I can't just skip ahead when it's this interesting, 24 chapters down the road. And no matter what I tried I couldn't get plain text back. I'm begging you, please go back over your chapter and fix it so that it we can read it easily. It's a crying shame that something so well written and executed be completely ruined by bad formatting.
I'm out of steam to comment much on chapter 25. I just hope that for the next confrontation, since Team Discord is pulling all the stops, then Team Harmony will be well-rested and well-fed. Please, they've suffered enough.
As always, I eagerly await your next chapter <3
This story is very very ridiculously awesome and I'm only sad that I'm catching up too fast and will soon have to start waiting for new chapters.
ReplyDeleteOddly the questions I asked above have now been answered to a degree (or at least the idea behind them has been brought up).
ReplyDeleteStarlight Shadow was brought low by Red Velvet by here own fear and it did give Velvet great power at the time. Very exciting. I was wrong about the primary reason. I thought that Starlight was going to fear losing control of the group/situation/etc and that was going to be the lynch pin (and something that would build on itself as the more she would fear losing control the more powerful Velvet would get which would make her harder to control causing more fear...) but instead it is a far more "human" fear of losing the affections of another. Very powerful stuff.
I also liked that Velvet mentions feeling the fear from the city. I had commented before that the city was likely a place where she could grow in power even if that is no longer the case...
I also think it is interesting that while the mane 6 feel very much like close friends their doppelgangers (so to speak) are starting to feel more like they are family (dysfunctional of course). This may be due to their similar origin and goals rather than closeness (I find that in certain cases friends can be as close or closer than family and this may be one of those cases). The way they stick together but act so against each other reminds me of a more sibling relationship rather than friend (some of the mane 6 have this with specific characters but generally have a more "friend" type interactions IMO). I think that is also an interesting dynamic to contrast the two groups if you so desire as the doppelgangers sort of have a "blood is thicker than water" thing going on whereas the mane 6 have their close relationships based off of past experiences and working together.
The latest chapter was simply awesome. It really developed Velvet and the rest of the EoD characters. Can anyone this quick question though and it's a little off subject, but is Pinkie and RD in a romantic relationship, friends with benefits, or just a running gag from the author?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo how does one edit comments here?
ReplyDeleteWe still don't know how many types of magic there are. We know of light/dark, order/chaos and arcane/void dualities.
And (since Cadence is a unicorn ofc) we all know that Alicorns come in pairs.
Now. Having finally read it all. Oh dear it looks like EoD minds have been broken. They may have determination to kill the girls, but with even Velvet questioning validity of murder I think their confidence in themselves is as low as it can get.
While they have their rage now, and wish for vengeance upon EoH, it will take some time to catch up with them. Time for self doubt to work.
And I guess that "divine" whispers could help those self doubts once they get south of equator.
Looking at how Silvertongue mentioned to his secretary that her happy time in Utopia could be very short, I think he is either planing to take over the entire world or to cause an apocalypse.
@Respected author
How many more chapters are you expecting? Story looks like its approaching culmination. I'd guess we are around 2/3 trough?
Rainbow: *screaming to the heavens* "KEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"
ReplyDeleteOh god my sides. This chapter is great. i love the mst3k reference
ReplyDeleteFlathoof: "Gristle McThornbody!"
ReplyDeleteXaos: *taken aback, but caught up and rides stream of stars, asteroids, and other galactic phenomenia, which he rides while staggering from side to side until finally returns to earth* huff puff *holds head* That was....Cosmic!
Oh wow. This chapter is HUGE. I mean, its pretty big, but I mean its got so much going for it. Its got worldbuilding, laughs, the girls finally getting FOOD, introduces new characters.
This chapter is.....Cosmic.
oh wait. I'm not quite done reading it all yet. I don't know if my body is ready....
*peeks back at Google Doc, only to ride cosmic stream again.*
as one of the editors, Sun Ray, I'm going to say: yes, you're overthinking this. you're really selling Lockwood short here by having connections so somepony like that :P
ReplyDelete@Sun Ray I thought that too, but @79be20d4-a140-11e0-8488-000bcdca4d7a argument kind of kills it.
ReplyDeleteThis story's pacing is getting waaay too ridiculously slow for me. Chapter 27 had just under 25,000 words of Twilight's group eating dinner and getting new clothes. That's it. Nothing else. 25,000 words for that. This was followed by roughly 5000 words of plot development. A 30,000 word chapter, and only 5000 of the words were actually relevant to the story. This happens in most chapters, with things taking far too many words to happen, but chapter 27 is an especially extreme example. This fanfic is becoming far too much of a chore to read, which frustrates me because I'm genuinely interested in finding out where this is going. :\
ReplyDeleteI'm also not a fan of the more Dragon Ball Z-esque fight scenes with all these superpowers, but that's more an issue of personal taste.
Oh my god, was that finally movement on AJ figuring out that her earlier conversation wasn't actually with Rarity?
ReplyDeleteAnd Twilight demonstrating how much of a badass she is is always welcome in my book, especially when she does it by helping save Lockwood.
I just wish this fic was on FimFiction, so I could get alerts when it updates. I've missed several past updates, and had to archive binge to catch back up, which is kinda annoying.
ReplyDeleteHello :D Can anyone tell me how long it takes for a new chapter to come out? Mine currently says its up to chapter 28, but its been a few weeks and im suffering withdrawal :) thanks
ReplyDelete@metapsionic
ReplyDeleteSee 62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996's earlier comment regarding the formatting.
What I'd like to know is why we haven't seen any Youtube versions of Scream Scream Scream, that would be so awesome if done right...
ReplyDeleteI'm loving the latest few chapters. Yes, they were a bit long and on the word-y side, but it's a welcome change on the constant life-threatening situations. I particularly enjoyed the drinking contest, and the whole thing with Lockwood's operation.
ReplyDeleteNow the Element of Discord are all set to attack though. I'd really prefer if they didn't take down that shield though...so many innocents suddenly vulnerable!
Ive posted before, but Metapsionics last comment has pretty much answered my question. My computer still says tht its up to chapter 28, but im pretty sure its further than that now, and i cant reply to Metapsionics comment to confirm that it is in fact up to chapter 29. can someone please help?
ReplyDeleteGreetings Steve_Clam, this is one of the editors for Ganon, your computer isn't lying, we're currently at chapter 28, as we're still finishing the final parts of chapter 29.
ReplyDeleteAhh thanks for the reply :D sorry, i would reply to your comment directly and say my thanks, but i have not been able to find out how to do so. A few peoples previous comments confused me. one of which stated that EQ daily may not update instantly to a new chapter. in addition, Metaspionics last comment piqued my curiosity, as i believed it contained spoilers from a new chapter.
ReplyDeleteAgain i apologize, this is the first time i have had to wait for a new chapter, and did not know how long it would take. I feel privileged that an editor of the story has come to my aid. I must say though, Crisis: Equestria is my favorite facfic. You guys are great, keep up the awesome work :)
it's partly my fault, Steve. I'm one of the other editors. I haven't been able to have the time to finalize very specific speaking patterns--though we still have issues with our fact-checker and our word economist, fortunately enough, so I'm not the only one with stuff left to do. Have to apologize for adding such a wait. Will be helping Ganon on the last bits of the fic in the very near future. At least partly tonight.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't blame yourself, I just think of it like this, the longer it takes, the better it'll be :) perfection takes time. Thanks for the apology, although in my eyes, it isn't needed. I didn't mean any disrespect with my comment about the wait (Just wanted to make that apparent). Haha, i don't mind waiting, as long as it gets here :P, I'm not sure what i would do if i could never find out how it ends.
ReplyDelete@Steve_ClamIf this works, I've found out how to reply, and have finally figured out my password...
ReplyDelete@Nuke_Equestria
ReplyDeleteWOW, amazing job at completely missing the point of everything ever.
Protip: Not every fic has to have Military and Firearms Porn in order to be good.
P.S.: Also, you can make more people enjoy the ideals of progress, industrialization, and the enlightenment if you don't act like a smartass while you do it.
P.P.S.: Also, learn to read the room and find where your comments are relevant and appreciated, because as it is this comes out of fricking nowhere and kills the mood of the comments section.
P.P.P.S.: Also, what you just said is invalid anyway because it has already been proven that Grayscale can make a projectile drop like a fucking stone.
P.P.P.P.S.: Also, you are making an argument for mass produced firearms on a site about colorful cartoon ponies, so you should probably find a patio to sit solemnly on and seriously reconsider the direction of your life.
P.P.P.P.P.S.: Also, nobody gives a shit.
Love,
A concerned commenter
When is the next update going to be? Shit is going to hit the roof
ReplyDeleteAmazing story! Can't wait for the next chapter!
ReplyDelete@Sun Ray
ReplyDeleteIt was the first thing ~I~ thought of, too. /)^3^(\
Poor Volt, but he went out like a hero.
ReplyDeleteAnd poor Fluttershy. Makes me want to reread the last 10-15 chapters to watch Lockwood's behavior. It does explain why Lockwood was so inexplicably important to Hope's Point.
I was seriously hoping that Twilight would get pissed in the fight at the end and just knock one of the cruisers out of the sky.
DAT CLIFFHANGER.
ReplyDeleteThis fic is absolutely terrific, probably one of my favorites. How long must we wait for the next update?
I think I may have an idea why Rainbow Dash supposedly "hates" stallions. But I can't be sure nor do I want to believe it.
That chapter was MASSIVE! Oh my god I never want to stop reading!
ReplyDeleteSo much going on! The Queen is harsh, almost robotic. I'm glad she had this outburst earlier, it pony-fied her a bit.
And I SO cheered when Pinkie came to the rescue blarring on AC/DC!
That cliffhanger is evil. I'd pay to have the next chapter right now. I'm so totally addicted to this fic, I wanna print it into a book and cherish it forever!
Also; Lockwood being engaged was HARSH. Poor Fluttershy. Someone will get Stared to death for this.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to think of more awesome moments, but they all just blend into one another. Cheers everyone, you're doing an absolutely fantastic job!
@metapsionic By damn, I would buy that book set! This story is so god damn awesome. In my opinion, thats something coming from me, wanting to buy something pony related. I mean, i dont like to advertise to everyone that im a brony. Still somewhat a closet brony (although all my friends know, just my brother im avoiding telling)
ReplyDeleteNot taking a shot at the creators or editors or anything, but the wait is agonizing! Also ditto, i would also pay for the next chapter :)
Also, this is the same Steve_Clam as above. forgot my password and everything. If this works, i've remembered the password for this one too :)
@Nuke_Equestria
ReplyDeleteChapter 30 kin of muted your point about the sniper.
I swear that Lord Silvertongue could be the pony version of Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing...
ReplyDelete@4thIsBroken ...qua? Since when was Integra an Omnicidal Bastard? Are you sure you don't mean Blackburn?
ReplyDeleteAt one point I had some sympathy and hope for the redemption of the chaos 6. Not any more. The bit with Pinpoint was just about too dark for me.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap did it hit the fan at the very end of the chapter. There's no way AJ is dead though, so that gives me hope for Flathoof and Briarthorn. Pity about Gagdet and, er, the other guy. Crosswind?
quick question. I've read the first few chapters and there seem to bee hints of Dash Pinkie pairing. is this confirmred at any point in the story? Im not really a fan of it, and dont want to get too far into the story.
ReplyDelete@John Doe
ReplyDeleteYeah, it gets confirmed. Fairly quickly, actually.
@Cedric Bale
ReplyDeleteWell, relatively quickly. (no edit button :|)
@John Doe: It gets confirmed, but I believe they're too busy staying alive and saving the world to have make out sessions, if that's what you're afraid of.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to sympathize for the Evil 6. They started out being manipulated, struggling to find a purpose in a wicked, wicked world. But right now they're not afraid to kill, maim and murder, for the single purpose of murdering the Mane 6 and prove their self worth.
ReplyDeleteI like them, but they are definitely the enemy now.
Also, that whole bit with the sniper? Masterful and brilliant! It's incredibly refreshing to see that someone can be that effective without fancy magical powers. I could feel the suspense. I loved every bit of it. I might just re-read it all.
Can't wait to see more.
Regarding Chapter 30:
ReplyDelete"She lifted off again and charged at the nearest trooper, punching its head clean off with a heavy-weighted hoof. She swept towards the next nearest trooper, kicking it hard in the midsection and shattering it into pieces."
While reading the chapter late at night, the repetition of "the nearest trooper"/"the next nearest trooper" was the only thing that jumped to my eyes, making me wonder if someone was trying to give the fight a mathematical description. For me, it just breaks the pace of the description. Replacing "the next nearest trooper" by "another", or something else?
Btw, read part of the planned changes, I agree with it.
@Nuke_Equestria
ReplyDeleteYou don't read comic books do you?
Skill is the greatest super power
Good to have that confirmation that Applejack is alive. A bit less comforting to know an escape pod was used with no confirmation that there was others for Flathoof or Brairthorn to use. Even if there were, they probably would have been busy trying to stop Shadowstep.
ReplyDeleteStarlight is a bit blind not to see what is bothering Curacao, but it is understandable, seeing how they are technically under a month old, and they are the Elements of Discord.
I wonder if Applejack, the elements of discord, or the rest of the elements of Harmony will make it to Utopia first.
BTW, now that Growing Pains is on permanent Hiatus, and The immortal Game only have its epilogue left, I most look forward to updates on this than any other fiction.
@Nuke_Equestria
ReplyDeleteOn a seperate note, it is almost as if the author wrote chapter 30 just for you
A.J. is separated from the others, but has found a new party member.
ReplyDeleteThe Anti Six are still trying to balance out being naturally and LITERALLY "Chaotic Evil", along side realizing that they actually DO have souls and free will.
And like @Randomnessincarnate, I too am mourning the loss of Growing Pains. This fic and that one were the two pillars rising out of the Smooze-like quagmire by which I charted my Pony fiction travels by.
...wait... Smooze... Gak... Holy Faust, mother of Luna... *Faints*
Oh dear god, that Hanabel lecter joke in chapter 31 was hilarious...
ReplyDeleteHmm... Can someone tell me what happened to the Authors notes at the start of chapter 30? It was there a few weeks ago when the chapter first came out, but when I want to look at it; it's gone. It had a link to the changes made to the previous chapters, and I only just got around to seeing it. However, to my dismay; I found it had been removed. Is there any other way I could find out what changes were made without going through all 30 chapters? I mean, I love the story; I just don't have the time to go through it again.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to see the Discord 6 interacting each other and growing as ponies, as opposed to revenge-driven clones :-)
ReplyDeleteIt always takes me so long to get around to reading these chapters, but when I do it enjoy it so.
ReplyDeleteIt's like when FoE: Heroes updates.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI think Rarity just found herself a Prince.
ReplyDeleteSo, this new Zircon character.
ReplyDeleteIs anyone else extremely reminded of Zack from Final Fantasy 7? With his looks, giant sword and flirting with Rarity...?
Well, having just read through the whole thing, I have some thoughts, most of them geared towards the later chapters because they're the ones I finished most recently.
ReplyDeleteI'm not big on the Pinkie/Rainbow ship in the story. It seems completely gratuitous and doesn't really have anything to do with the story quite frankly. In the earlier chapters, it wasn't a big deal because it was reasonably subtle, but it's way too in your face with it in Chapters 28 and 29 and it's irritating.
For that matter, Chapter 28 itself could be cut in half, because practically everything after Lockwood gets cured is very superfluous (I can't even give the "it reveals character" excuse because it doesn't really tell us anything new, nor can I dismiss it as a breather chapter because the previous chapter was that also). That's an issue I have with the story also: There's a tendency for things to either take longer than they should, or for a bunch of time to be spent on things that aren't really that important. The aforementioned Chapter 28 wasn't the only example of this, but it was the worst of them and the one I noticed most readily.
The sniper part was cool, but at the same time a bit disappointing because after the sniper does all this cool stuff, they get unceremoniously killed off. It honestly made me really like them and wish their character had either stuck around longer or been better introduced to us beforehand.
Still, those complaints aside, for the most part it's a good story, and the Elements of Discord are cool characters that I like seeing. Interested in seeing where their story goes.
Well I've returned to this fic to see not one but five new chapters for me to read. :D, I spent all yesterday afternoon diving right back into the world you've crafted.
ReplyDeleteBut I find myself with a dilemma my mind with the Anti Six. (Btw, I'm going to go spoilery on you so watch out new readers!)
~~~~BUFFER ZONE~~~~
My Particular problem is with the fight with the Hopes Point Miltia. Oh, don't get me wrong, it was quite suspenseful and you did an excellent job with writing the scene and following action.
But the Anti Six really pushed the moral event horizon (the line where a character crosses to become irredeemable and a total monster.) Some people are already posting that they have no more pity for them.
And that's what is kinda getting me. I like these characters. So it's kinda sad in a sense to see them walk down the revenge road (all you gotta do is look at Kratos from God of War to see where that road leads)
The sniper was straight up Badass, I'm not going to lie. But man, just seeing him die so quickly after his defeat makes me question why we even went through all that. Okay, yeah, it did show that the Anti 6 wasn't invincible. But right after the conflict all injuries the guy inflicted were instantly negated by regeneration (in regards to Velvet's wound) or blood magic healing. (Curaco's wound and yes I know I didn't spell her name right)
It's odd, I was actually rooting for the Hope's Point Militia to win out against them or at least beat them back. (But rooting for them was like hoping that a boat full of holes would float.)
But then again, Velvet didn't regenerate all at once, maybe the hole in her stomach will come up again at some point?
But all in all, I'm still quite taken with the story. You've got just the right mix of dark and humor to keep things from going overboard, while still maintaining a serious tone. Not many stories can do that.
Can't wait to see this story completed!
Just read chapter 32. For the love of Luna and Canterlock, please visit this wiki page and read the grammar section for help with Early Modern English grammar (like where to put your thy, -est, and you).
ReplyDeleteI love reading this fic so much, so it's really painful for me to see such a great story have mechanical issues like that.
"It was an odd taste, blue, not quite like purple but lacking a distinct quality that Twilight couldn’t place."
ReplyDeleteThe word you are looking for, Twilight, is Red. Blue is missing the rich Red undertones that Purple has.
Also, two un-Discorded, four to go.
And finally, Lockwood just can't catch a break, can he? *Facehoof*
How many chapters will be?
ReplyDeleteTOM AND JERRY! I FINALLY GOT THAT!
ReplyDeleteGanon... do you realize what you've done here? In less than two years' time, you've written a story about ponies (let me repeat: about PONIES)on such a scale that you've actually managed to outmatch the entire 'Lord of the Rings' series, including 'The Hobbit', for length. Writing quality is the best I've seen in a fanfiction, -period-, the characters are all excellently portrayed, you're a master of dramatic tension, and the only real problem I have with this story at all is chapter nineteen. (Seemed too convenient to me. I'm a notorious nitpicker, though.) I've not been able to put this story down once I picked it up any of the three times I've read it, and just want you to know how much I have truly enjoyed your work. Keep it up, Ganon. Can't wait for more!
ReplyDeleteWhen is part 34 and the others
ReplyDeleteWhens the next part like chapter 34 and the rest of it im tired of waiting for them
ReplyDeleteWhen are you going to finish? I don't want to rush you or anything but I NEED to see what happens later. This story is too epic.
ReplyDelete@Sun Ray I apologize for wanting to go back to prior chapters to fix glaring spelling and grammar issues, fix continuity and characterization issues, make the fight scenes flow more smoothly, and generally make improvements on everything for both new readers and the audio play crew, the latter of whom are dedicating their time, energy, and talent to do something incredible with my characters and world. My priority *is* the fanfic.
ReplyDeleteWell now, that was pretty awesome. I think I've simply lost count of how many levels in badass Dash has taken at this point. Really sad that Ophanim is apparently dead, as well as a little concerned as without him Shy is pretty vulnerable in a fight.
ReplyDeleteAnd ah hah! I've been suspicious that Briarthorn wasn't dead. Unless there's a body, there is always hope. Same goes for Flathoof.
holy moly this looks amazing
ReplyDeleteHah! I had a feeling ol' Briarthorn was still around. His "death" still seemed rather vague.
ReplyDeletePoor Fluttershy, loosing Ophanim like that...
I wanted to use a Pokemon joke here. Specifically:
ReplyDelete"Ophanim used Self Destruct! It was Super Effective!"
...but it just doesn't seem to be in good taste. At least now 4/6 Mean Six members have been purified, and Briarthorn has been confirmed to be on this side of "Not Dead". One can only hope Flathoof made it as well.
Well like I said elsewhere. Fluttershy felt way way WAY to OOC here to be believable. And switched WAY to fast, and at far to high a cost. Yeah just, hated it happening like that. And could NEVER see Shy acting like that, and taking it THAT far. No just no.
ReplyDeleteThe RD fight was AMAZING! but the end, it, it was just weird. I couldn't follow just what the hell was going on, it felt like it was simply trying to be "awesome" and spending to much time on that, then on actually explaining what the hell was going on.
And, Briarthorn alive...... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU------------
nononononononononononononNO! Of all the utterly amazing and magnificent OC's that get killed off in this thing, it's HIM that gets to survive, that drunken, obnoxious, lecherous, useless asshole? hopefully, it's only so he can be killed off properly very very soon. Preferably in a way the totally erases him from existence at all points in time so the Mane 6 never had to deal with him at all.
And yikes, lot of negative. There was still good in the chapter. All the fights were amazing, it was just Fluttershy's attitude, and the lack of clarity on what the hell was going on at the end of RD's. That pissed me off. Queenie continues to be 50 million types of amazing. And, HOLY FUCK YES SHROUD!!!!!
Thre was still good here, but on the whole, has got to be, for me, the weakest, most frustrating, and least liked chapter of the story, that doesn't have Neelixthorn inflicting himself on the readers. hopefully some of it can be fixed, or better explained. It just, I really cannot buy Shy acting like that.
Holy shit, you guys.
ReplyDeleteYou guys. Holy Shit.
I could never have DREAMED that Rainbow and Gray's fight would've gone to that ridiculous an extreme.
I wonder what the other Mean five's reactions would be if they learned that Grayscale tried to destroy the world.
Hmm...
Insipid: I'm, like, speechless?
Curacao: Je suis horrifié...
Starlight Shadow: I'm aghast...
Havocwing: I'm mindbucked...
Red Velvet: I came....
@Seraphem
ReplyDeleteYou know, its funny.
When Rainbow Dash gets bent out of shape, there are an army of people who comment "Ugh. This is why she is the worst character" in the most unfair manner possible.
But, when Fluttershy does most the same while under the same kind of stress, suddenly people start crying "Foul!" and "Out of character!", just because she is usually gentle.
All the ponies have gone to extremes at different points in this story, just to brew up drama. But for Shy, its actually the most real.
She just got dumped by her first, which is always hard, and she had almost no time to digest this sudden shock before Blackburn (who I do consider the meanest member of the supporting cast) pretty much finds multiple ways to hit her when she's down.
(Technically, Lockwood could've just said "There's someone else" without saying who. He could've said he wasn't interested. He just never worked out the gumption to do so when he had the chance.)
I kind of suspected that Havocwing was going to be facing a very, very scary Fluttershy when she met her like this.
This doesn't make Fluttershy's behavior right, and indeed, I kind of picked up that in her current state of mind at the beginning of the chapter, she was beyond all reason But, I picked up that she felt she was all alone. It could easily seem like everyone was asking for consideration and sensitivity FROM her, as opposed to anyone standing with her when she felt she needed it.
Much like how Rainbow Dash was unable to read the difference between her friends failing to stand up for her and she herself pushing them away.
Fluttershy is not a saint. She's just sensitive. In some cases that sensitivity is a virtue, in others...
Well, I'm reminded of Jesu Otaku's character analysis of Takato from Digimon Tamers.
http://blip.tv/jesuotaku/digimon-tamers-part-two-takato-5918868
"Takato is the embodiment of a pure Protagonist. And one of the greatest tropes tied to puriy is how easy it is to flip extremes. True love becomes the most potent hate, innocence breaks the hardest, and yes, the cute ones are capable of the cruelest outbursts. Partially because purity is defined by the absence of limits.
In other words: Uncompromising good guys become uncompromising bad guys."
Oh, and the subject Jesu was talking about? It was when Takato, who was under no small amount of stress, pushed his Digimon beyond its limits, reaching for power he was not adult enough to handle...
...He created an evil digimon that was out of control and endangered the fabric of the digital world by its mere existence. Megidramon
After reading this i feel like i should make a comic it'll be like 37 issues and ill make one each week
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this i feel like i should make a comic it'll be like 37 issues and ill make one each week
ReplyDelete@ Xaos
ReplyDeleteNo, I complained about how OOC RD was as well. But even she wasn't as bad as 'shy. That is the biggest failing with this story IMO, it at times handles the mane 6 rather badly and has trouble keeping them in character. Well that and the shear painful annoying torture that is trying to read through any scene with freaking Brairthorn in it, again out of all the amazing OC's that have died, it is THAT useless, annoying drunken pervert that gets to live.
And granted it doesn't help I felt the entire shipping parts are just plain stupid. Why the hell is Rarity that damn dumb? They are all trying to get home, will be spending less then a month there and then never see any of these ponies again, why in the hell are any of them concerned about romance? So yeah the fact this is the result of the ponies being morons in the first place doesn't help. Just makes it feel even more contrived.
Yes Fluttershy isn't perfect, but that was way way to far removed from anything even resembling her. The only times she ever been that bad, for that long, was when Discorded, or when being written by Merriwether Williams.
I get what gannon was going for, but he went way way to far with Fluttershy, and had her flip far to quickly for how far gone she was, at to high a price, and by realizing something she would have had to be a moron NOT to have know by that point.
The whole reason for this happening is just stupid, it required every single pony involved to grab the Idiot Ball and hold tight. And I'm just pissed she had to lose him because of this contrived mess.
Still love the story, but my god was everything about the attempted shipping annoying and just plain idiotic, all leading to a contrived and annoying ending.
The concept for the Relativistic Space Showdown between Rainbow and Grayscale was almost entirely done by the CRISIS team's own BeeAre, so give him a round of applause for coming up with an idea that would make Spacebattles proud.
ReplyDeleteFun Fact: Rainbow Dash's status as a Metomancer has been upgraded into the much more impressive-sounding "Meteoambulus." It's been this way ever since she became capable of morphing her body into a Lightningbolt, but her Energy Being form in the latest chapter is a sign of her having achieved full mastery over the elusive magic of Ambulancy.
Sadly, as Ambuli don't exist in Equestria-IV, she won't be able to take this ability back home with her. But still, it's quite an achievement; there are only two other characters in this story with a full understanding of Ambulancy, and she was able to master it without even knowing the theory behind it.
Too tired to formulate a proper critic, but I still love this fic to bits!
ReplyDeleteETA on chapter 35?
ReplyDeleteRed Velvet is best EoD. Like, seriously. I can't get enough of her. And whenever her and Pinkie battle, I honestly spend the majority of it laughing out loud. And i may or may not skip 75-100% of chapters that dont have Red in them.
ReplyDelete@Seraphem
ReplyDeleteAnd granted it doesn't help I felt the entire shipping parts are just plain stupid.
Outside of some parts being paced too slowly, I think the shipping is probably the biggest flaw in the story. You've already explained why the Fluttershy bits were problematic, but the Pinkie Pie/Rainbow Dash ship bugs me too, because of how stupendously irrelevant it is to anything. Fluttershy's part might have had serious problems, but it at least had a purpose, I've got no idea why Pinkie Pie/Rainbow Dash is a thing in this story. I've always hated pointless shipping in a story, and to be blunt this might be the most pointless ship I've seen in any Friendship Is Magic story. I suppose a positive is that it's so marginal I don't have to put up with it much (unlike the stuff with Fluttershy, which made the most recent chapter a real pain to read through for a while), but I still feel it's so unnecessary it should've just been removed. And now we have Rarity's potential romance that basically comes out of nowhere and isn't with a character we have much reason to care about.
To be fair, the romances between the OCs are okay for the most part (Blackburn/Lockwood is okay if you don't count all the dumb stuff with Fluttershy), but any romance involving the Mane Six hasn't been very good at all. At best it's pointless and distracting, at worst it's an utter pain to read through. I don't know why so many authors feel the need to weigh down a perfectly good adventure story with unnecessary romance.
@ Terraceth
ReplyDeleteThe Pinkie/Dash ship IS relevant, if only because of one thing: the "Rainbow saves the day" part from Chapter 24. She managed to get through a maze made of pure fear just to save Pinkie (and the others as well). Check the small note at the end of that chapter.
The romances remind me a little of those from the Harry Potter series: they're not the best ones I've seen, but then again, they are not so bad and irritating as some say they are.
What @Mr. Yoke said. While I try not to pester authors with cries of "MOAR!", for some reason this current space of dead air seems longer than usual. Either the writing/editing is running long, which is fine, or something has happened and we have not been informed, which is not.
ReplyDeleteEdit: Ah, yes. That thing with Bogyle Bronies. That could be a factor. I had forgotten about it.
ReplyDeleteHow can I contact with author, I have some important question to ask regarding all this editing that is happening.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was amazing! I finally caught up, and now I'm anxious to find out what happens next! In the mean time, however, I created a tribute on my DA account: http://ramamole-crowforest.deviantart.com/art/The-Mean-Six-382340648
ReplyDeleteHope you like it!
@markoatonc
ReplyDeleteI'm one of the editors. Massive editing is going down because of an Audio Play being made for the fic. We're at chapter 20 for edits, and Ganon goes between editing and drafting new stuff, and goofing off with the cast of the play. >_>