• Story: CP Violation (Updated Finished!)

    [Crossover] No, that image wasn't chosen at random, this is in fact a Gordan Freemane story.  Unfortunately he has his normal name.  This time written by Albatross Apparently this was a way early entry to the friend off.
    Description: Another failed experiment lands the legendary physicist Gordan Freeman in a strange new world.
    CP Violation
    CP Violation: Episode 1 
    CP Violation: Episode 2
    CP Violation: Episode 3
    CP Violation: Conclusion (New!)

    68 comments:

    1. This could turn into a Twilight shipping story so easily XD

      but anyways, awesome read!

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    2. If this happened to Gordon later on in life his first thought would be...

      "At least it's not more aliens/zombies/monsters"

      I'm pretty sure Isaac Clarke and a few other people would be relieved to end up in Ponyville after going through what some people would note as "That one day everything went wrong".

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    3. Sorry for posting twice but is it that Google Docs is being a jerk or is this really the last paragraph of the story, it seems like its missing stuff. (Google docs is a bitch to me sometimes...)

      Paragraph:
      “I think it looks cool.” Rainbow Dash said, happy to give her two bits.
      “Yeah Gordon, why don’t you let Rarity make you a few things?” Gordon shrugged, signalling his indifference. Rarity nearly tackled him trying to get all the measurements, knocking him back and dazing him once more.

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    4. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.

      This is an awesome fanfic.

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    5. awwwwww that was nice..
      kinda wish thou that Gordon would have been ponificated(?!)/ponified while changing dimensions :3

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    6. Is there possible chance of a second part? This sounds like it could really go further.

      Just curious.

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    7. Im giggling like a schoolgirl and I have no idea why. Write more!

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    8. this is pretty cool. i want more of this.

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    9. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 2, 2011 at 3:02 PM

      @Anonymous
      This is the first part of a potential 3-parter.

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    10. this has been one of the better story's read so far.
      i hope this will continue

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    11. Now I can't get the image of Pinkie resting her head on Gordan's lap out of my head. This story is definitely intriguing!

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    12. fun concept, but i'm going to go into d/ic/k mode for a second.
      and just in case you're not aware, /ic/ is the artwork critique board, they are notoriously brutal with constructive criticism.

      for one, the opening paragraph exposition feels rushed. perhaps you could explain it all in a more extended dialogue between freeman and another scientist....with freeman mostly just nodding or making expressions.
      also the descriptive usage throughout is a little light, stretch it out a little, give us a detailed image.
      in fact everything is moving a little quickly, i'm not sure if that was your intention?

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    13. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 2, 2011 at 4:03 PM

      @Anonymous
      This is only my SECOND official fic. (The other is The Fires of War, in chapters)
      and I'm still learning. But yes, a small bit WAS rushed. I do appreciate your critique though. It's going to help me learn. I may go back and expand some of the dialogue.

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    14. This is pretty funny stuff! Very cute.

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    15. OH! That wasn't the "CP" I was fearing from the title. LOL.

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    16. Oh good lord this was so stupid that it gave me a lobotomy... and yet, NOW ! MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!

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    17. /ic/ mode initiated.
      Eh, I dunno... this story kinda left me cold. If there's going to be a conflict in the plot, it should probably be either showing up or being foreshadowed really soon -- you're risking a loss of momentum. Slowing down to add some character interest would help that a lot. Right now, they're all kind of acting like caricatures of themselves. (Side note: considering they have hammers and electronics, I'd think they would know what a crowbar is.)

      If Gordon is gonna be your main character, you need two things: first, glue that camera to his head and stick with it. You keep jumping between Gordon and Twilight -- which is fine, if you stick with each for a while and make it clear when you're switching. Check out Cereal Velocity's fanfic writing guides for more on that. Second, once you're glued to Gordon's head, give us some internal monolgue! If the poor guy can't talk, he'd better exposit like a motherfucker in his own head. Immerse us in what it's like to be Gordon Freeman in this new, weird-ass world.

      I'm also a bit confused where in the Half Life chronology this is supposed to take place, not that it's critical.

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    18. I vote part two!

      It was quite good, I writing. The begining part made me a bit sad, but the rest made up for it.
      Got to say, though, in less head crabs invade there is no hope for a plot other than "Human scientist meets and studies ponies"

      Could get an interesting thing of him and Twi trying to use magic (which I am sure he will react interestingly to) to get him back.

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    19. lol oh bronies you know what exactly to deliver :D

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    20. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 2, 2011 at 7:42 PM

      @LordOfTheWrongs
      I have a LOT of things planned for the next part. And foreshadowing WAS present. You just have to look a bit harder.
      Oh, and it takes place approx. 5 months before the Black Mesa Incident.

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    21. Man, this was so awesome. I loved it to bits.

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    22. OH GOD WHAAAAAAT. Seeing my Gordon Freemane on the front page again surprised me. This story was fun, Half Life + ponies always = YEAAAA. :D

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    23. it still is awesome but episode one doesnt feel as good as the first part. i do enjoy the internal stuff though.

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    24. "Are you a wizard" holy crap that made my day.

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    25. well... no offense but I can't help but think that you seem kinda pissed off. You seem to spend more time snarking at little plot holes from the HL2 universe then just enjoying the story.

      Was still fun though.

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    26. Can't wait for the next parts.
      I hope that the Combine will somehow get involved in this too. That'd be cool.

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    27. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 4, 2011 at 5:14 AM

      @Anonymous
      Because of me describing the Orbifold? I just felt creative, so I thought I'd explain in. Sorry if I seemed angry. (Not sure how you'd see that in text, though.)

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    28. Ok, I don't know anything about Half-Life, exept that Gordon is the main character. You got me interested, I might watch a LP of this.

      Anyway, I do quite enjoy reading this, only thing is that he seems to cuss alot, not that I mind, but it seems slightly immature. But I really shouldn't say anything before I know more about Half-Life...

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    29. So, um, what the FUCK happened at the end there? The entire last part just seemed so out of place.

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    30. While I enjoyed both the first chapter and Episode 1, I just have one gripe about the second chapter:

      Even though many unexplainable things happen (and trust me, they do), it really doesn't have to be a curse-fest. Next time, tone down the cursing by a lot, make him only curse once in a while but not all the time...just seems immature to me, that's all.

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    31. *Reading*

      Hm, this new chapter is cool. Hey wait, didn't I mention head crabs in a comment? Odd. Got to say, I love the way this guy is writing it all together, making it even seem to fit, if haphazardly. Hey, wait, wants this about the hallway...



      ...WAT.

      OH HELL NAW! HE DID NOT JUST...

      ...he did.

      I am disappoint that this was posted here, a bit.

      That is some pretty graphic stuff.

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    32. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 4, 2011 at 1:36 PM

      @Anonymous
      Made some changes. Reduced the language by as much as possible without actually damaging the document. Hope it's a bit more appealing.

      ReplyDelete
    33. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 4, 2011 at 1:38 PM

      @MasterMask
      The harem scene? Or the fall? If you mean the Harem scene, it's rather clean compared to almost all of the shipping stories here. And the fall? Well, if you've played the original half life, those are actual phrases the suit says (Except the blood pressure phrase).

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    34. i'll stay anon right now
      kind of ok but the "hallway scene" uh if that is what i think it was then idk if that should be there. . . im sort of new here so idk what the age appropriate content level here is but atleast it was minor graphical.
      Gordon celestia shipping
      (sorry for my bad spelling btw =3 )

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    35. I was liking this before, but you just gained way more respect from me when the second installment was labeled episode 1.

      ReplyDelete
    36. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 4, 2011 at 9:13 PM

      @Anonymous
      Theoretically, there IS no age limit here. At least, not what I'm aware of. And besides, there are several borderline fap-fics(fanfictions centered around purely sexual content, very descriptive) here. This, in no way, is sexually GRAPHIC, not compared to the other fics here. Just go and look. Really.

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    37. @Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr y
      ok im posting for your reply to my ANON comment
      thanks for clearing up the age limit issue i had and for being cool with my "new" comment, i was acctualy expecting someing going "lolololo newfag lololo gtfolololol"

      ReplyDelete
    38. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 4, 2011 at 10:04 PM

      @swordman600

      We are far away from /b/, friend. Equestria is home to ALL bronies. New or old.

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    39. @Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr y
      i think im gonna cry now being so far away from the assholes =')
      but what is this feeling i have that fills me with dread in the far future?!?!

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    40. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yMarch 5, 2011 at 12:50 AM

      @swordman600
      Your lack of Pinkie Pie. It disturbs me.

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    41. lmao, this is awesome.
      Also, Celestia getting laid.

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    42. I agree with some of the above: the harem scene and cussing aren't necessary and only serve to hurt an otherwise interesting story. Hope to see a part 3 soon.

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    43. 'the fuck did i just read?

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    44. Great story. Up until i started reading episode 3.

      Then i got depressed.

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    45. Okay, about chapter 3?

      Right now, I hate you. It is very important to me that you know that.

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    46. Episode 3 made me laugh. Thank you author. Thank you.

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    47. i think that that part three was the best of the parts. had everything that anyone could ask for from a stori.

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    48. First part rocked, second one seriously dropped off, and the third somewhat made up for it. 3/5 overall.

      Oh yeah, and the video version of part 4.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw4rc3MKS9Y

      ReplyDelete
    49. I opened that fucking episode 3 link.
      I then proceeded to shoot my cat in a blind rage.
      You see what you did mister author? You killed my cat, I hope you're proud of yourself. You best be planning on finishing this mess.

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    50. Episode 3 *click* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEEE

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    51. Um... lol? I just dunno what to say...

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    52. Noooo, send me back!
      I don't want to be back here in the crapsack world, I want to be in the nice, happy world.

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    53. a nice happy world filled with (soon to be) dead ponies? maybe its for the best that he stays at home.

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    54. I like it, and have happy faced whenever I see that a new chapter is up.
      But the transition from episodes 1 to 2 was confusing....
      At the risk of being SPOYLAR,
      It was see sexing->RUN->JUMP->black out->wake up->XEN

      But yeah, I like it.

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    55. Cop out ending. no me gusta

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    56. Okay, I gotta admit, I'm VERY disappointed in the "ending"... That wasn't much in the way of resolution. It seems like the author just fizzled out.

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    57. crappy ending possible sequel

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    58. HE MUST GO BACK, FOR THE LOVE OF PONIES HE MUST GO BACK.

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    59. And what really sticks in [i]my[/i] craw is the absolute lack of any attempt to explain WHY CELESTIA WAS HAVING AN ORGY!

      I seriously cannot fathom why that was even in there.

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    60. wtf am i reading and why isnt there more of it

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    61. is it ok if i read Gordan's voice in the voice of Ross Scott's Freeman's Mind?

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    62. Ha, i just now get the "CP Episode 3" joke im roflmfao

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    63. I was literly rofl-ing XD
      so much redernces to memes in one chapter
      i´d realy love to see more of that
      also nice idea to give gordon a backgroundstory ^^

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    64. Well, This episode 3 came out on time.
      (hint hint)

      ReplyDelete