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Author: InsertAuthorHere
Description: At long last, Luna has found the perfect prank to outdo Celestia: turn her into a filly and stage a fake takeover of Equestria! That is, it would have been perfect were it not for that pesky fine print..My Little Alicorn
Bringing Up Blueblood
Waning Moon (New Story 3 Part 3!)
Additional Tags: Totally Unnecessary Sequel, Magic Kindergarten
531 kommentaari:
Trolluna? I have to read this.
VastaKustutaCelestia's so cute... /hugs
VastaKustutaAdorable filly Celestia pic is utterly adorable.
VastaKustutaOh god this sounds too cute :D
VastaKustuta*Hugs filly Celly and clicks link*
Who can resist that face?
VastaKustutaMUST... NOT... SO... CUTE... CAN'T RESIST.... Dawwwww
VastaKustutaTrollestia AND Trolluna? This I have to see.
VastaKustutaOh for the love of Christ. Please LOCK the fic from editing! Please! People are going absolutely nuts with messing around in editing it!
VastaKustutawhy the hell is public editing enabled?
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaSadly the document is being troll'd, and in fact was just entirely deleted. The author set it so that everyone could edit it.
VastaKustutaShame, what I read of it was good.
THE HAY! Dammit now the doc is GONE you TROLLS! I was trying to READ it.
VastaKustutaJust so everyone knows, I'm the one who ctrl-A + backspace'd the thing.
VastaKustutaI'm sorry, but the entire editwar farce was too stupid for me to let it continue.
please re post the doc i want read
VastaKustutasomeone said that hey saved it before it was deleted so hopefully it will be re-posted.
VastaKustutaHopefully the author'll actually put it up for real, WITHOUT public editing, shortly. I really wanted to read the thing.
VastaKustutaWow... this fic was quite literally trolled to death :(
VastaKustutaIt looked really fun too...
I feel sorry for the author...
Wow, that was quite the farce bronies. Nice job.
VastaKustutaFortunately the author can hit file-> view revision history and recover it.
VastaKustuta@banjo2E
VastaKustuta... so you DELETED it? what if that was the authors only copy! he could of written the entire thing IN docs for all you know! I just hope that docs can do a restore (pull up a previously saver version)
http://pastebin.com/y1MwVPKN
VastaKustutano formatting because laziness.
Good news, everyone! Someone posted a copy on pastebin!
VastaKustutahttp://pastebin.com/y1MwVPKN
Unfortunately, there's no formatting.
@nifboy
VastaKustutaoh good, I wasn't sure how that worked with docs
I really can't respect an author who leaves his fic unlocked like this. Two stars for your giant fail.
VastaKustuta@Ryex
VastaKustutaI'm sorry if this sounds heartless, but if that was his only copy he should use something non-cloud for writing his fics. After all, you're only one save error away from having trolls take over your fic and insert whatever they like into the story wherever they like. I personally use LibreOffice.
Besides, there's an unformatted copy on Pastebin. I'm not sure if it's the actual original, though.
@nifboy
VastaKustutaAh, wonderful. I feel a bit less terrible for doing that thing that I did that I felt was necessary to save the fic from being totally unreadable due to constant revisions.
Seriously, guys, you froze my browser three times.
Um, guys?
VastaKustutaI actually managed to save the doc into a personal word file only about a minute before it was deleted. I could probably put it up into my own Google Docs pretty easily at this point. But I
don't know if I want to do that without author permission.
well, on the pastebin one, ctrl+F penis doesn't bring anything up, so I think it's fine.
VastaKustuta@banjo2E
VastaKustutaI love the minimalist revision you made!
Seriously though, dick move.
@banjo2E
VastaKustutaOh it was YOU?
Oh thank GOODNESS! I was worried that when I tried to copy-paste it I had accidentally hit "cut" instead and ruined it for everybody else...
Now I feel a lot better
*Facehoof*
VastaKustutaNice going, guys...
I could probably format it into something readable. I'll clean it up from super wall-of- text mode, post it on Google Docs and give him full credit.
VastaKustutaSome bronies have no respect.
VastaKustutaHay guys, an open fic.
MUST ADD THE WORD WINGBONER
I thought bronies would act far more... mature than that.
I am disappoint, also, credit to Banjo for saving it from further destruction.
Wow, seems as though this fic got screwed. And I was so looking forward to a thrill the second I read the tags. I mean Trolluna? That could be the first and best one!
VastaKustuta@Varanus
VastaKustutaHey, at least I have the courtesy to admit it.
And to spam "@everyone: Read this story's comments on EqD to know why it's blank" in docs chat so everyone knows why it's blank.
http://pastebin.com/y1MwVPKN
VastaKustutaBlargh, I understand why but I cant read that wall of text.
Right, Delete Post, Re-post story, Lock Editing, Re-post post.
VastaKustutaThen try again.
"Role reversal"--Maybe WE were the story.
VastaKustutacan someone make this redable PLEASE
VastaKustuta@Dust Fire, I'm pretty sure @SuperGiantRobot is working on that.
VastaKustuta*slowclap*
VastaKustutaWay to go, guys.
http://static.divbyzero.nl/facepalm/doublefacepalm.jpg
VastaKustutai managed to finish reading it b4 it was taken down, and out of curiosity was that link 4 part 2 legit or wut?
VastaKustutaFilly Celestia and trolling Luna? INSTANT READ!
VastaKustuta*clicks story*
*doesn't load*
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/original/u_u.png
Okay. I think I've managed to reupload this to MY Google Docs if anybody wants to see it there. Bear in mind that I'm something of a Noob with Google Docs so it may be a little off. Hopefully, though, it hasn't got the same "editable to anyone" issue as before.
VastaKustutaAlso a preemptive apology to InsertAuthorHere. I'm sorry it came to this and I'm sorry I uploaded it onto my Google Docs and if you want me to take it down I would be perfectly willing to do so. Just say the word.
Here is the URL:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kTVgZf1CKV5Ed82L2f6X4ngqkX1jlmzp3k6K_KefBWE/edit?hl=en_US
@Tricky The story is blank, it got deleted by trolls.
VastaKustuta@Rainbow Smash well at least anypony can't edit this 1
VastaKustutaEEeyup, deleted. Shame, wanted to read this.
VastaKustutabut so was the link to a 2nd part in the original 1 (well b4 it got deleted) legit or wut?
VastaKustutaIt's not loading up.
VastaKustutaReading through this, all I have to say is "Yowtch."
VastaKustutaI'll have a link soon.
@Rainbow Smash
VastaKustutaBefore I read and notice problems, was this getting spammed and edited b4 you copied it?
@Muffinsforever
VastaKustutaYes, that is true. I went into the doc while it was getting spammed and edited. If there are little changes or inserts here and there where they don't belong then I didn't put them there.
Actually, I'm only just reading this for the first time myself now. I put it up as soon as I could after saving it so that others could read it too. ^^;
@Rainbow Smash
VastaKustutaThanks a lot, good to see that someone saved it.
To the story: Not bad, I was expecting more Trollestia to justify Luna's actions a bit more, but it still worked. Nice end of the first chapter, didn't expect Luna to have such a good poker face.
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw I just loved it
VastaKustutaIs it weird that I could imagine Celestia perfectly, including her sobbing and angry cutsie-little face? x3
Awesome!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/15h1RK8xqPKbFUbZZveXEMniAeiKPnu6UFlbiqiiIEN8/edit?hl=en_US
VastaKustutaOh god. Hillarious ending.
VastaKustutaSaw it was public edit mode, went into address bar and changed 'edit' to 'preview', then I read it without crazy highlit sections and obtrusive toolbars. Haha, no problems for me!
VastaKustutaI enjoyed it, though there were a few typos throughout, and some clunky prose.
Now I'm gonna read the next chapter.
@WizardWannabe, could you post the link to it?
VastaKustutaGotcha! XD
VastaKustutaI didn't manage to catch the link to the second chapter when I saved the document apparently, so that's an unfortunate drawback...
VastaKustuta... How can I pull a take over when the current rulers are so cute.
VastaKustutaHahahah! Ya know, something tells me things are about to get downright hilarious. The prank went off without a hitch, yes, but if there's one thing I know it's if a spell's forbidden, it's forbidden for a reason.
VastaKustutaOn a second note, I just had a hilarious image of the mane 6 joining in on the fun, sooner or later. I doubt it'll happen, but it's a funny image none the less.
@Rainbow Smash Thanks dude. You have rescued me from missing this story.
VastaKustuta@t-arndt chapter two: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18kNLqbuaaIAvHIA63p8ygYZD7NGD7dVje6WMDlY1gno/preview?hl=en_US
VastaKustutaChapter three: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1J97_2kkzRu9CdjAg4by3E-BryIDI3diVx7CbBHMOnLg/edit?hl=en_US
Feels weird to be adding the links to someone elses fic. Reading the comments, looks like some crazy stuff went down.
LOL, Trolluna
VastaKustutaWith the exception of a bit of the first chapter i actually managed to read it before it got nuked. It was brilliant, absolutley brilliant.
VastaKustutaI almost felt sorry for Luna by the end of chapter two, this looks to be interesting and when its back up i'll have to give it a reread.
The whole thing is Brilliant and gave me a good laugh
Also need to think of some suitable pranks for revenge on Luna, she can't have all the fun.
Um, yeah, this is actually the author here. (Yeah, different username, I know.)
VastaKustutaI had someone else proofread the story before I sent the link, and left editing on so they could fix it beforehand. I...forgot to turn it off. Sorry.
The chapter's back up. I'll email Seth and see if we can get it fixed.
@WizardWannabe
VastaKustutathanks for the links to chapter 1& 2
Trollestia vs Trolluna? EPIX!
VastaKustutathat was great! on to chapter , if I can find a reliable version.
VastaKustutalots of tension, funny payoff. The bit about celestia and the frogs evolving was my favorite part
Fillestia! And this is probably a better image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/34de5f98b5c4cf2f1f195c576e87f68e/42906%20-%20age_regression%20artist%3Asinistra-sundown%20celestia%20filly%20luna%20role_reversal%20sisters.png
VastaKustuta@pg13fresno
VastaKustutaHey. You want I should remove the one I saved and put up?
Well, now that I've actually gotten a chance to read it without a huge edit war in the way, this was a pretty awesome story. I quite liked Luna's little evil schpiel before she revealed it was all a big prank :D
VastaKustutaOh dear... Uhh... Let's go with Hasbrotia in this one... The third chapter, the very last two paragraphs... Best joke ever, seriously!
VastaKustutaokay.... the next two chapters are pure gold. This should be the script for the season two opener. Screw Discord, I want Trolluna. Oh god... chapter 3, those last 2 paragraphs. Latias ^ is right. in the running for Best Joke award.
VastaKustutaI love these versions of Celestia and Luna. Celestia seems sooo much more interesting in this, and actually has developed character. Luna's neat too. hell, this is just universally awesome!
I lol'd
VastaKustuta"“So says the pony throwing a temper tantrum.”
VastaKustuta“I AM NOT THROWING A TANTRUM!”"
I'M NOT SHOUTING!!! ...WELL, ALRIGHT, I AM!
I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOU-
*is hit on the head by a fallen brass candlestick*
*crumples to the floor, unconscious*
is there a part 4 yet? or is that in production?
VastaKustutaHhm... Now Luna is going to have to take up the full seat of power... and see that it's not all it's cracked up to be.
VastaKustutaI wonder if Twilight will have to explain what happened to Celestia's "book" at the end of chapter 3. . .
VastaKustutaI was not expecting that
Wow, this is really amazing! I have to admit the first chapter got me. Oh, Luna, ya big trickster! Five stars from me!
VastaKustutaI had this exact same idea A MONTH AND A HALF AGO, and someone made it into a fanfiction before me, and it got posted on equestriadaily... Excuse me ladies and gentlemen I have a date with a 44.
VastaKustuta6/5
VastaKustutaHA HA HA HA HA!!! (Spoiler alert)
VastaKustutaRoyal porn collection... LOL.
Incredibly funny AND incredibly cute at the same time. I can't wait for the next chapter.
VastaKustutaI kinda would like to see those pictures that Luna took of Celestia... (snickers)
@Rainbow Smash
VastaKustutaNow that everything seems to be sorted out, I guess there's no need for the copy anymore. Thanks for saving it, though. Man, I feel like an idiot right now.
lol the ending for the 3rd chapter. great story btw can wait for the next chapter
VastaKustutaRoyal Porn Collection eh?...strangely I don't find that surprising.
VastaKustutaGood story so far, filled with both hilarious and heart warming scenes.I'm certainly looking forward to the next chapter.
Also Prince Blueblood needs to be struck with a friendship beam.
Even if it was pornographic in nature, wasn't it rather out of character for Twilight Sparkle to destroy it? I imagine she would've rather carefully set it aside instead.
VastaKustutaNow Celestia is going to have to rebuild her collection! Can you imagine how hard that is as a little foal?
Hahahaha royal porn? lol really liking this fic.
VastaKustutaPoor Twilight had to see the royal porn.
VastaKustutaAnyhoof, loved this story!
Regardless of a few flaws in the writing style, and the first chapter being a bit overdone, and being a bit slow-paced (Though, it does help build tension, and trick the reader into thinking something else is going to happen. Great red-herring planting.) this is a very enjoyable, and adorable fanfic.
VastaKustutaI also like how it really puts you in the heads of Luna & Celestia at times.
Your description of "little Celestia" makes her sound very adorable, and I like the comical way even Luna finds her (now little) sister so "d'awww-worthy" cute. (Though, gets more serious when she realizes... Not going to spoil it.)
I never really liked to think of Celestia as a "troll," but you did a good job showing she never ment any harm with her pranks, and show she's still very kind-hearted leader, and apparently Luna took them to seriously/personally. (Kinda mirrors how this fanbase gets the wrong idea of Celestia.)
Aside from the joke at the end of chapter 3, (wich might be kinda pushing it, but was still funny, I admit) it almost feels like an actual episode of the show in some ways, and I look forward to the future chapters, and see what goes down. :)
Would be nice to eventually see some of Twlilight's friends in this though, but I guess a story focusing on Twilight, Celestia & Luna is a nice change of pace, as well if you don't have that planned.
Chapter 1: Luna used a spell to turn Celestia into a filly.
VastaKustutaChapter 2: Luna's sick and torture to her "younger sibling" if it were a joke.
Chapter 3: Twilight Sparkle is the voice of reason.
Chapter 4:Pinkie Pie show up in a cake and burst through the cake(Oh wait that's not going to happen unless the author has any idea of how the cake will get there)
Anyways I do think the fact that Celestia turning into a filly is a good idea or a practical joke gone wrong.
@Dusty the Royal Janitor
VastaKustutaThis shows the hidden face of the fandom...
Everyone showing a mask of goodwill and etc, but at the first occasion they have, many will VERY quickly change into weak Internet-trolls.
Anyway... this are back to ''normal'', for now...
-----
*Read the 3 stories so far*
A couple of small errors, here and there (like 'Celesia' with missing 't'), but it was interesting.
... Wasn't sure about that whole ''troll-luna'' / ''troll-celestia'' thing in Part 1 (and half part 2), but it got better (more details, better context in Part 3) later on ...
... I wonder how well the cute-filly-(age regressed)celestia will be used, Hopefully, more ''playful-like'' than ''whining-like'' ...
@Retsamoreh
VastaKustuta^--''Blarg ! I'm gonna poorly judge the quality of one's work because of a simple error and a bunch of moron-trolls. Blarg !''
this is really cute and looks like it will be a good story
VastaKustuta@DesertStar
VastaKustutaShe is to young for those books.
LOL
'Royal porn collection'? maybe the place is better taken over.
VastaKustutaJust finished Chapter 1... took me a while to stop laughing so I could post this. Beautifully written!
VastaKustutaSeriously can't wait for more of this. :D
VastaKustutaOkay... this was pretty cute. Now we have Baby Nightmare Moon and Baby Celestia! Wohoo!
VastaKustutaLOOKING FORWARD TO CHAPTER 4!
VastaKustutaI'm loving so much this fanfic!
5 star rating! /)(^ε^)(\
Chapter four, do want.
VastaKustuta@DesertStar:
VastaKustutaHow much do you want to be betting that the porn collection was Blueblood's?
Ummm... Why is everyone calling the Unicorn/Pegasus Hybrid kinda thing Alicorns? An Alicorn in the whole mythology of Unicorns is the horn of a Unicorn...
VastaKustutaI mean... Don't get me wrong, I like MLP:FiM... I am a fan... But... who came up with this??
I love the story, and I found the joke at the end of chapter 3 to be hilarious... But no matter HOW HORRIFIED Twilight Sparkle ✶ is at the contents of a book, she would NEVER destroy one. I don't think she's capable of such an act. What if the book was a collection of intimate moments between Celestia and long past lovers (Assuming it was Celestia in the book... well that or Luna). Imagine if someone burnedone of your photo albums simply cause it was you with your partner.
VastaKustutaEven if it was simply collected porn... It wasn't hers. Who is she to deem what is and isn't acceptable by the ruler of their land, a being that for this story's intent is depicted as some sort of deity or something.
I think at WORST, she might have magically flung it to the WALL, but NOT into the fire... At BEST, she'd slam it shut and try to not think of it. I think the ONLY way this book could possibly burn under Twilights watch was if the fireplace were ALREADY LIT, and the panicked blast of magic propelling the book had no intended direction... Of course, she should then be panicking over having just destroyed a VERY personal possession of her dear mentor and teacher, princess of all Equestria, ruler of the land, and commander of the very sun itself! Oops!
As OOC as it is for TWILIGHT to BURN A BOOK, if you INSIST on such an absurdity, I hope you're willing to alter that end to bring Twilight into character and make it an accidental burning, and I also hope it's a magical fireplace... You know, like the other end of Spike's message breath... :D
--Trollestia AND Trolluna faces--
Rather interesting, yes indeed! One is looking forward to chapter 4!
VastaKustuta(THough one has to agree wit the somewhat OCness of Twi, though it's KINDA hard to argue for or against it, as in the show, they would never even MENTION or HINT at Porn, so for all we know she WOULD burn it, but... IDK. Throwing it against a wall would make ME feel better, if anything else. Just doesn't seem right, Twilight wanting to burn books, even IF it's porn. I mean, it's not like it was her book to burn, anyhoof...)
~ Magical Trevor
Oh god, that book belonging to THAT pony! (No spoilers just yet) I'd do the same too, trust me.
VastaKustutaAnd Blueblood, keep your royal flank out of business that is not yours. Seriously, Luna might hit you with the spell as well.
Filly Trollestia is BEST Trollestia! NO BETTER WAY TO PUNISH TWILIGHT for burning a book, than to put THAT IMAGE into her fragile little mind! LOLWTFBBQATFNBACBS
VastaKustutaPipBuck....clicking like crazy....Dawwww levels.....outta control....gotta get away from that pic.....and take Dawwww-Away....
VastaKustutaThinking about it... I'm still bothered that Twilight did it... It seems so OOC for her... but again! I LOVE YOU for THAT punishment! ALL MY STARS!!!
VastaKustutaOh my.... What will that next reunion be like! AWKWARD!!!
Also... What will Luna decide to do when Blueblood decides to pester her haunches off... and over his grudge against her 6 SAVIORS no less!
Blueblood, as Zecora once said at the tail of one of her rhymes... You're DOOMED!
Looking forward to reading this one when I get home from work. Gotta love Luna.
VastaKustutaChapter 3, last 2 paragraphs.
VastaKustuta"Gee, I wonder what the comments are going to be about!"
Just read ch. 4 And how is Luna going to respond to both to Spike and Blueblood. I mean, Prince Blueblood and Spike want to see Celestia okay and dandy as possible.
VastaKustuta(Scrolling through ED)
VastaKustutaDum dum de dum-!
(My Little Alicorn updated)
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!
(Reads)
Ha! Here's your planet, make something of it.
Ha! First she thought it was her second "mother"'s book, now she knows it's her first mother's book.
Hhm... I was hoping for more from this chapter, I loved it, but I was looking forward to Celestia maybe getting into being a kid and Luna dealing with day long duties. But, the two problems on the horizon look like they should make the next chapter very interesting.
More.
VastaKustutaNow.
....
Please?
Well that's one way to get the rest of the mane cast involved...
VastaKustutaAnd OH SHI- Blueblood. Hee.
I've been fervently waiting for this update, and you didn't dissapoint! Easily one of the more enjoyable stories on this site.
VastaKustuta@MLPfantvfreak
VastaKustutaIt's been 'alicorn' for months. It was the term used when I joined the fandom back in March, so I know it dates back to at least then.
I know originally it referred to just a unicorn's horn, or the substance from which the horn was made, but the meanings of words can change over time. It's now widely accepted, thanks to the fandom, to refer to a Pegasus-Unicorn.
CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FANFIC READERS! YAY!!! 8D
VastaKustutaXD Seriously, keep it up! It's awesome!
~ Magical Trevor
this awsome!!!! cant wait till chapter 5 is up ( when will that be???) this is a soo cute story!!!
VastaKustuta"As Spike finished reading the scroll, his very complexion turned deathly pale. “Twilight’s helping Princess Luna? Princess Celestia has gone on vacation? But...the princess has never taken a vacation in her life! And Twilight should have asked me to come over and help, not stay here in a crummy old library. She must want me to stay away from Canterlot. That can mean only one thing: Princess Luna has turned evil again, banished Celestia, and turned Twilight into her slave! She must have made her write this to throw me off-track! I’ve gotta get the others!”"
VastaKustutaOh how does this amuse me, because that's exactly what happened in my story. XD Nightmare Moon returned, banished Celestia, defeated the Elements, and then enslaved Twilight. XD
You know, a certain picture of Blueblood has come out and people have already been saying someone should work it into a fic. I wonder if BB will push Luna to look into other spells.
VastaKustutaI didn't like it.
VastaKustutaIt's unfunny, it's mean spirited (both to Luna and Celestia) but worse of all, its so very cliche that its annoying.
The way you portray Luna and her banishment, how Celestia react to the Nobles, how Twilight feel, the guard subplot... wooden and just mean spirited.
Meh!
Please Sir/Ma'am, I want some more.
VastaKustutaQuite the enjoyable read if you ask me.
VastaKustutaWill be looking out for more of this.
Luna stuck listening to Blueblood? We may yet see the return of Nightmare Moon.
VastaKustuta@richfiles
VastaKustutaOOC ?
Twilight does LOVE books a lot... ***Studying*** them, of course... But, she isn't a Crazy-Book Lady (like a Crazy-Cat Lady).
I doubt that ''royal porn'' is one of the subject she considered studying in a nearby future (though there's probably a lot to learn from a several thousands++ Princess-Goddess's ''personal habits''. If it's her or Luna in the book, anyway).
I think when Blueblood learns what is going on is when the S*** will (finally) hit the fan.
VastaKustutaOooh, royal porn collection.
VastaKustuta....POST MORE PLEEEASE. <3
VastaKustutaPart 4:
VastaKustuta>a planet without a working ecosystem or even a sun and moon – and told us to make something out of it.
-Meh... No sun and moon ? Seriously ?
Would have been quite better with just the ''not working ecosystem''... That way it leaves interesting possibilities AND make more sense than just a random rock in space, with no orbit, moon or stars nearby (making you wonder why the planet was there or was formed in the first place ?)...
>She didn’t actually drool over it, but the feelings were the same. She just loved cake.
-It's funny to think of Celestia has having a ''cake problem''. Too much cake and she's gonna be Plumplestia ;).
>“Because I can remember a certain pony sitting her young, helpless sister down every night and forcing her to eat one disgusting meal after another.
-Alfalfa monster, GO ! :D : http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/170/d/0/alfalfa_monster_blank_by_egophiliac-d3jam2z.png
>Of course, it’s so obvious. Why didn’t I see it before?
-Humm... Because 'author' said so ? I don't get it either.
>“I know you’re right, but I can’t help it either. She’s still a princess, no matter how she looks
-*COUGH* ...Luna is ALSO a Goddess-Princess, in case ''Twilight'' forgot... And ''raging'' in front of a Royal-Goddess is usually a bad idea for your health.
SPOILER ALERT!!!
VastaKustutaDoing my usual commenting/editing-suggestion thing.
-Not really liking the need for a diagram, goes against the spirit of how unicorn magic works in the show. But it is a convenient enough plot point, and a lot of other writers do it so...
Luna’s horn glowed brighter than ever as she read the finishing blow.
-I believe you mean "readied".
No luck; the room’s one window was barred, and Luna was between her and the door at the moment.
-I take it she can't normally teleport like NMM could? Shoot, even Twilight can do that (then again, she may not have Twilight's versatility).
effectively head butting Luna right in the nose.
-With her horn? Or with a different part of her head?
Will post separately for each chapter.
@Draco Dei
VastaKustutaProbable *spoiler* for you :
Filly-Celestia doesn't have much magical powers in this young form.
(You will see an exemple during a 'Diner scene' later)
ASSUME ALL MY COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD ARE SPOILER-Y!!!
VastaKustutaLuna’s heart threatened to melt in her chest, travel up her esophagus, and puke itself on the floor.
-Dunno if that last phrase doesn't shatter the mood... just a bit. :P
Luna’s patented kung fu grip
-*snerk*
Of course not. You were taking my place.
-For which you should be very grateful Luna...
Right now, Twilight’s chances of survival were sinking faster than raft carrying a thousand grand pianos.
-An apt analogy perhaps, given that I suspect that pianos would float fairly well, being largely wood.
She was still dizzy from the concussion, but that wasn’t what was troubling her. The mere fact she had a concussion was the problem.
-Given that I would expect the Alicorns to have skin that would require anti-tank rounds to penetrate? Well... you probably aren't using that level of toughness for them.
countless millennia spent inventing court protocol and royal etiquette,
-So how did it end up as something she didn't like if she invented all of it? I guess it does make sense in that it is the fear, not the formality that she objects to?
She couldn’t even imagine either of the goddesses as anything other than their current, seemingly eternal forms.
-Are you sure you mean "current" given that Celestia is currently a small filly?
The edges of Twilight’s mane and tail began to flicker and smoke, the same way Celestia’s did when she was well and truly angry.
-"Rapidash" joke... I like it.
It’ll take forever to find one to undue something this big!
-You mean "undo".
Chapter 3:
VastaKustutaShe would have continued to scream had a zipper not suddenly appeared over her mouth.
-Win.
but also possessed the same refinement and inner strength she seemingly lost two hours ago.
-That Luna seemingly lost, or that Celestia seeming lost.
The spell’s first effect takes the form of a green, mist-like snake.
-No snake was mentioned. Is this a continuity error, or a plot point?
Too tired to comment on chapter 4, although I did read it.
VastaKustutaYou forgot to link 3 to 4 properly I think.
BABALITY!!
VastaKustutaWell shit it seems that author may have abandoned this one.
VastaKustutaHe said in comments for other fic (Story: Of Fillies) that:
"A MUCH better Filly Celestia fic than that piece of crap I was working on."
I'm not trying to bash either of these fics and certainly I don't want to start any stupid flame wars. But I just feel that readers should know that this one may never be finished.
@Damazania
VastaKustutaNot true. Chapter Five is about halfway through production, and the fic WILL be finished. I just thought the other one did a little better with the idea than this one.
So...yeah, sorry if there was any confusion there.
@pg13fresno
VastaKustutaThat's good to hear because I really like this story and I would hate to see it left unfinished.
Just a heads up.
VastaKustutaChapter Five is all written up, and will hopefully be ready to go by Sunday at the very latest.
After that, I plan to go through and start making some edits, addressing some of the issues people have pointed out and the like.
If you're one of those, then thank you. It's actually been an eternity since I wrote anything, and I guess I'm way out of practice.
Thank you all for reading.
Umm... I have NEVER understood this obsession by some authors to derail forward progress to do edits on things people have already read. Edits are for completed projects, in my personal opinion.
VastaKustutaI can't stop you, but it makes waiting for new content excruciating, and only the most vocal of the complainers will even go back to read it again. If I were to read it again, I'd wait till it was DONE, so I could absorb the entire story in a single sitting. That's where edits belong.
At the completion of a story.
It's edit breaks like this that lead people to think stories have been abandoned.
When will authors ever learn...
I LOVE this story, and that's WHY I hate seeing mid completion edits. Wait till it's done. Get that new content out. Not rehashed old stuff that I and 95% of the readers won't even think about looking at again till the story is completed.
@richfiles
VastaKustutaI...was actually talking about fixing up some spelling and grammar mistakes, not rewriting the entire fic from the ground up. There might be a thing or two I'll add later, but not until the entire fic is finished. It shouldn't cut into chapter six's time at all.
BTW all, Chapter 5 is up. Just follow the link in Chapter 4.
Oh Twilight, you dun goofed big time!
VastaKustutaI just continue to enjoy this story. Celestia and Bookdor was probably my favorite bit, though I must admit I was hoping for a "One does not simply walk(trot?) into Bookdor" line.
VastaKustutaOh Twilight, way to open your big yap and make everypony want to kill Luna.
VastaKustutaBlueblood getting chewed out was awesome!
VastaKustutaGotcha.
VastaKustutaIt's just that some events have just gotten me really paranoid about this subject lately is all. Here is what I've seen on a few other fics...
I'll explain...
There seem to be some really anal OCD bronies out there, who will not be named, who seem to love to bash every technical error or OOC behavior or reaction, as if it somehow actually prevents them from enjoying a story at all. They have no desire to see where the author's directing takes the narrative. Politely informing an author of a mistake is fine. I've even done it myself. Sharing ideas on where you think or would love to see the story lead are fine too. These people are different though. These types of people seem to be unsatisfied to move on until there are no significant mistakes and the characters and events in the story flow to their OWN liking. I've witnessed people claim to 1-star a story just over their dissatisfaction with grammar or spelling, or that a character is OOC, and even suggest their own major revisions to the story's CONTENT as the only viable way to correct the "problem".
If an author feels the desire to build upon their story with constructive criticism, totally awesome! There is a limit though, and some people have been rude and argumentative about it in the past. Bribing authors into major revisions with the promise of huge star swings is something I despise. I always prefer to let a story reach conclusion before I ever make a final judgement. I'll comment on the way there, and I LOVE speculation. It's fun, and casually saying what I thought could have been about recent events is cool to, but when people start to try to demand authors to make major changes cause they don't like the author's direction... That's rude.
I've seen great stories like Past Sins and others go into outright revisionist hell, rather than just moving forward and just finishing. It's kinda led me to develop a bit of an OCD in the other direction. To let things be until total completion.
I've read stories that I loved, but had a terrible ending, or stories that I found painful to read, but ended so right. I hated what happened at the end of The Eversleep (though the epilogue is pure dawww), or the depiction of Luna in that recent massive journal style fic, Celestia as an overlord or some such thing. I hated all the pain and suffering in Sunset, but loved the almost everything is back to normal and your friends still love you ending. All these stories got 5 stars from me. I don't KNOW if there were any major technical mistakes, cause I filter them past my head and ignore them if they are present. The parts of a story that I don't like, I weigh against the overall completed work, and judge it as a whole. That overlord thing... Parts felt so broken, and GOD... that Luna... but it was depicting a BROKEN princess. Her mind loosing itself to insanity, so I took what I liked and let it override what I didn't, and 5-stared it. Arden Lluadd, or however it's spelled. I LOVED 95% of that story with a passion, and then raged over it's absurd ending. I maxed out 2 or 3 posts with my opinion of the end, and even compared my hate for the end with my hate for Rainbow Factory... and then 5 stared it, for drawing such emotion from me, and for having a 95% perfect masterpiece... that pissed me off!
I rarely notice technical errors, and I ultimately judge a work based on the _experience_ it gives me.
And yes, I'm TOTALLY OCD about revisionism. What's past is past to me. I move forward. Why the hell do I want to suddenly belt out Kamina quotes suddenly???
That's just my worthless 2 bits anyhow.
I am SO glad though, to hear this story is alive and kicking. I thank you for it. I love all I've read so far. I trust your direction, and look forward to seeing it's completion!
Considering I keep a "don't read until at least 5 parts are done" rule, I can finally read it. Filly Celestia has made me want to break that rule since the first part was up.
VastaKustutaOverall, very entertaining and enjoyable. I lost it when I realized Celestia was playing with the toy ponies rather. Reminded me of when I was young, except that we used VHS tapes for our buildings.
And ofc, Twilight has to open her mouth and make everything worse. Seems like a common theme for her.
Also interested in what Blueblood cooks up. I so enjoyed reading about him getting chewed out by Luna.
Or the TL;DR version...
VastaKustutaI hate when authors bow to reader demands out of fear of complaints or ratings.
I prefer to let the author guide a story all the way to it's end. If there are broken bits, bad bits, or bits that deserve improvement, be they technical or content improvements, I just STRONGLY feel they ought to wait till the end.
An author is welcome to take reader feedback in developing a story, but I feel that once an author chooses a path, it's the path I will trust to follow.
That wasn't too long, I guess.
This chapter was so cute... of course all the prior chapters had dangerous levels of weapons grade dawww.
VastaKustutaBookdor was so epic, and I loved Spike vowing his revenge for "Pink Pony Princess". I LOLed! ;D
I'm so glad Twilight has a loud mouth. It makes stories so much more fun! Squee!
@richfiles
VastaKustutaI -completely- agree! I've said this in another fanfic topic; someone just kept saying about how that's not how Rainbow Dash is meant to speak, or how the way the story is written is all wrong. Downright preposterous; just enjoy the story for what it is. I really even despise stories that use words that I have to enter en.wiktionary.org/wiki/(word) to understand what they are. Keep it slightly advanced, and enjoy the darn story.
Just enjoy the darn story. Spelling mistakes? Cool, report them. Grammar mistakes? Awesome, call them forth. But seriously, some of these demands of people to change the entire base of the story to their own likings are ridiculous.
Luna got to yell at blueblood? no fair! I wanted to do that *sulks*
VastaKustutaShe sniffed the air. "Why does this room smell like bananas?"
VastaKustutaand with that I realized that for this reference alone, it is the best story ever.
@Scary Scott I don't get it. What's that a reference to anyway?
VastaKustuta@Forb.Jok
VastaKustutahttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4f9m4OYkCY
MY Celestia, what on Equestria was this evil, and I mean EVIL pony going to do.
VastaKustutaBrain:Try to take over the world
M. Bison:Of course
Oh Blueblood you will never get your way.
@richfiles
VastaKustutaI see it as something of a symbiotic relationship. Author writes something, people write what they like and what they don't, point out mistakes, illogical things, OOC, whatever. Some are polite, some are not. Author then takes what they say into consideration or not.
Some people (including me) wrote that Twilight wouldn't burn a book. What happened in next chapter was worth it.
I wrote several posts criticizing some things in Fallout Equestria. Kkat thanked me for feedback, and wrote she will not change already written chapters, and her physics is similar to both the show and Fallout. I'm fine with it, and she gets some feedback.
My opinion is that as long as people don't get out of their way to be asses (or at least wait for several days before posting something abusive, possibly editing it in the process), and authors can take criticism, feedback works.
It is also OK to do revisions and stealth edits as long as it doesn't turn into trying to please every reader and version hell, where no one remembers what happened and what was edited away. Author of this story is aware of this danger, and willing to do some minor adjustments after the story is finished, so it should be OK.
@Maklak
VastaKustutaI too found it shocking... I simply couldn't fathom it. I even suggested that I found the idea to be absurd. I suggested that if I had done it, I'd have written it as a random vectored throw, and an already lit fire... pure chance at their meeting. I said what I wished was different...
And of course I ended my message with:
"--Trollestia AND Trolluna faces--"
But anyhow, I didn't truly expect change. Once I had voiced my utter shock and disbelief, I also proceeded to move forward with my thoughts on a possible scenario for the next chapter, my thoughts on how the story could move forward in a funny way.
You know what... the author took a very different path for the story, but was MORE funny than my idea! And I loved it!
Let the author do his thing, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the plot.
Royal trolls are the best trolls.
VastaKustutaOh snap, the plot done thickened so thick that you could choke on how thick it is....
VastaKustutaHere more ammunition to go "DAWW" with
VastaKustutahttp://ponibooru.413chan.net/post/view/42906
(older image....inspiration?)
Huh... why is there a bunch of people going all crazy, all of a sudden ?
VastaKustutaAuthors do whatever they want, listen to whatever they like, and change whatever they decide to change...
... anyway ... I think there's a story to read there, no ?
-----
>“Now come on, Twilight Sparkle. We’re having waffles!”
VastaKustuta-It's the 3rd story I read in a row where ponies are eating waffles for breakfast... not that it's a bad thing : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDU0CTDMk2g
>all while a reality warper kept making things a living nightmare.
-A ''reality warper'' ? ...huh, is that a reference to Discord ? Or, was there really a trans-dimensional anomaly on the planet ?
>Spike finally spoke. “So, if you don’t believe this brilliantly-coded letter
-Spike seeing a secret meaning from the words of a normal letter ?
Well, sadly... it's something that some people apparently do sometimes with others' words, trying to find hidden meanings OR giving it one when there's none...
>“Cause a certain filly flooded Ponyville with molasses last week!” she shouted.
-Wait ? It already has been a full week, since Twiligth left ? ...I didn't see that mentioned in the previous parts ?
I thought it was, like, just 2-3 days so far ?
Also... heh, 'molasses flood' ;).
>her mind kept wandering back to those two two-bit toys Twilight had brought her.
-Filly Celestia playing with a doll and an action figurine... Surely, it will be an adorable sight. ;)
>They will think Princess Luna, the former Nightmare Moon that tried to destroy Equestria only a year prior, is behind all this!
-Many in the universe, including a falling potted plant and a whale, must be wondering how that pony managed to stay alive so far ?
>“…And how will destroying Ponyville help me?”
-There's no way anyone(pony) with a brain would think that destroying and killing a whole town is a good idea for anything... That's why Blueblood wants to do it, he has no brain.
Luna, her, she has a brain, there's NO way she could possibly agree with this, seriously.
>All light in the room instantly vanished. In its place was an unrelenting darkness, chilling every bone in Blueblood’s body.
>Luna’s voice boomed through the hall, betraying something fierce and terrible inside her.
-Go, Go Power Luna ! :D
>She sniffed at the air. “Why does this room smell like bananas?”
-Bad puppy, bad ! Huh, I mean, ''bad reference''.
>He sank coastal towns and turned their inhabitants into sea ponies.
-Well, the seaponies don't seem to mind... they just like to sing and dance a lot, that's all. :)
>He was finally free of that burden. It was time to celebrate.
-What ? Was it like the copy of the 'Necronomicon' or something ?
>“There it is gentleponies, the legendary fortress of Bookdor!”
-Reenacting scenes from Lord of the Rings ? ;)
>Her pan was gone, having slid off during the initial assault
-Frying pan, the most devastating weapon a Princess can apparently equip... as shown by Princess Peach (Super Mario RPG, being a good example). ;)
> Then, we grab the Elements and use them to seal Luna way for another thousand years!”
-...? Seriously, Spike seems a bit too clearly 'hostile' ?
>but in any case, her curse had served one useful purpose: no Blueblood.
-Just for that, it was worth it. ;)
>The six newcomers froze before slowly turned back to Luna. Gone were the warm, inviting looks of friendship; now, they only screamed betrayal and lies.
-And apparently they, conveniently, all chose to forget that Celestia 'seems' to not mind too much... oh, and that she's right in front of them too...
Wait, so the CMCs were fermenting rum?..
VastaKustutaCUTIE MARK CRUSADER RUM DISTILLERS, YAY!
@Nova25
VastaKustutaI hope this doesn't come off as overly defensive or anything. It's just a few things you pointed out that I probably need to clarify, maybe chalk up for revision once the fic's finished.
>A ''reality warper'' ? ...huh, is that a reference to Discord ? Or, was there really a trans-dimensional anomaly on the planet ?
-Discord reference. He just fit the Celestia/Luna backstory I had for the fic so well I had to throw him in.
>Wait ? It already has been a full week, since Twiligth left ? ...I didn't see that mentioned in the previous parts ?
I thought it was, like, just 2-3 days so far ?
-It's late morning on the second day. Chalk that up to "things to fix once I'm done."
>What ? Was it like the copy of the 'Necronomicon' or something ?
-Kuchen is pretty much the pony version of Abdul Alhazred. I'd say why I didn't give him a pun name based on that, but that would spoil a plot point.
I also have to apologize about any OOC screw-ups I had with the rest of the Mane 6. There is an explanation for Spike's hostility towards Luna, but that's for the next chapter.
To be honest, only one of the non-Twilight ponies was going to appear (again, spoiler), but when I sat down to writing, I couldn't find a reason for only they to go to Canterlot and leave the others behind. What I'm saying is, they will have some impact on what's going on, but the main focus will always remain on Celestia, Luna and Twilight.
Man, I can remember planning this whole fic to be only eight chapters. We're on chapter five now, chapter six is outlined and ready for production, and there is no way we're going to reach that goal.
@pg13fresno
VastaKustuta>Man, I can remember planning this whole fic to be only eight chapters.
-Well, it's usually a good idea to spread things (to a point, of course) between parts, and not have everything compacted too much, if possible.
But then again, it depends on what you're trying to do... effects and stuff.
I think twilight might get herself banished for that slip up, that is if the mane cast don't make this worse
VastaKustutaBrilliant! *Waits patiently for next chapter*
VastaKustutaBookdor!
VastaKustutaThis is the most adorably awesome thing I have ever read, You sir, have made my day!
I'm sorry it's taken so long for an update. The chapter was supposed to be ready by last week, but work, an illness, and two rewrites have delayed things. I haven't even been able to go back and do the edits yet.
VastaKustutaIn short, the chapter should hopefully be up by Sunday, aka the day after the next episode completely invalidates the fic.
I was just wondering about this story today.
VastaKustutaYay, an update.
I really like this, its funny, its well written and the characterisations are good.
VastaKustutaIts one of the more enjoyable things i've read, I think the idea behind it is brilliant. I feel a bit sorry for Luna though, everyponies still afraid of her.
Curse cliffhangar endings, I was wondering that too when I read it. I now have to wait for the next chapter to see.
Besides it was fun too! I never get holidays.
Going to need to think of a few revenge pranks for Luna though, apart from *ahem* forgetting to tell her she no longer has to use the royal Canterlot voice to adress people in public.
.... and then pinkie pie blows my mind.
VastaKustutaThanks you.
~CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FANFIC UPDATERS! YAY!!!~
VastaKustutaSerial though, Trevor begs you to keep it up! Trevor loves this story!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
That last chapter...
VastaKustutaLE GASP! PINKIE IS SPY!
Most curious indeed. I didn't catch that Pinkie Pie bit at first either. Very well done. I have a few ideas as to the direction the story could go, but trying to pick one would be impossible. I'm excited for the next chapter. Keep up the good work!
VastaKustutaBecause she's Pinkie Pie. Duh.
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaPinkie broke the 4th wall and read this story...that's obviously how she knows the name of the book!!!
VastaKustutaIt's just Pinkie being Pinkie. There, mystery solved!
VastaKustutaWhat?? Thats the standard answer.
Seriously, this was a great chapter to a great story. Looking forward to the next. Thanks
This is definitely one of the Best things I've ever read
VastaKustutaWell let's see:
VastaKustuta1) Allusions to Blueblood spreading the word to whatever media exists.
2) The fact that Frosty Gaze mentioned people were aware of Celestia's 'disappearance' due to seeing Luna raise the sun.
'It was under E' anyone? I'm betting Pinkie got it from a newspaper or something.
I mean, she's random, not clueless ... or magically omniscient, even if she does break the 4th wall constantly.
Though I guess that doesn't really explain how the name of the book itself got put out there.
Hmm...
Beyond that, thoroughly adorable and funny. Can't wait for the next one!
I see a relationship between Nightmare Moon, the book and Pinkie. Pinkie possessed? They said Luna was transformed by something into NM. Would be fun to see something try and do the same to Pinkie.
VastaKustutaDun dun DUUUUUUN!
VastaKustutaI do actually wonder how Pinkie knew that :3
Maybe Pinkie is the descendant of that crazy pony? That would certainly be interesting and explain a few things.
VastaKustutaAh need MOAR!!!! PLEASE!!! I AM IN THE AGONIES OF DEHYDRATION!!!!! I THIRST FOR THE KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VastaKustutadragon fell 3 inches to it's doom LOL
VastaKustutaI noticed the end of chapter 6's plot when I read that part and was about to post about that as an error... Glad I didn't because it would have ruined a lot of ponies suspense :( Still an epic story!
VastaKustutaAlso, check your anyone/anypony and everyone/everypony'ies. There is a couple in there.
The plot chickenz!!!!
VastaKustutaAt the end of ch.6 I was all "OH SHI-" and then Twilight was all, "Then who was phone...?" <_<
VastaKustutaSweet Celestia I can't wait to hear the explanation to that one.
I am thoroughly enjoying this. I love how you can weave into the existing narrative new information from season 2 :)
VastaKustutaChapter 6 had a very good ending. Pinkie broke through the 4th wall.
VastaKustutawating horribly for yet another update. How much blood do you want?
VastaKustuta@wutdo
VastaKustutaI want fifty gallons, all neatly stored in individual one gallon containers.
In all seriousness, the next chapter should be ready sometime next week. Sorry it's taking so long between chapters, but I haven't had a lot of free time lately to write. Things should speed up soon.
Please please please please please please, tell me this is going the way I hope it is. 2 baby alicorns, Mane 6 playing babysitter and trying to hold it together while Blueblood plots a coup. The eye-twitch reactions alone!!!
VastaKustutaOh my. This could get interesting.
VastaKustutaIf my assumption that the spell now has affected everyone in that room...
Daym, that's a lot of fillies running around. Both princesses and the national heroes, fillies? Canterlot's going to freak!
Also, I sense the d'aaawpocalypse coming. xD
W-wait a second... Recast spell... O.O Ohhhhhhh BUCK! If you cast a younger spell on a filly, won't that kill her?! She won't exist! Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh!!! NOT GOOD!
VastaKustuta~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. Trevor likes how we all have our own theories, Trololol.