[Normal]
Author: C. Theron Vulpin
Description: Taking a very different perspective on the term "Twixie," this is the tale of a mind-swap spell gone wrong.
Of Two Minds
Additional Tags: Magical Mishap, NOT Twilight's Fault!
Story Two After the break!
[Normal] Story 2
Description: In the weeks following the defeat of Discord, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony have been worked to the bone tracking down and cleaning up the pockets of chaos that somehow avoided the spell that sealed Discord away. After so much hard work, a week’s vacation in Manehatten is a welcome and well-deserved break.Multi-Mental in Manehatten (New Chapter 6+epilogue)
However, Discord’s influence was not limited to Ponyville and Canterlot. After chasing an oversized squirrel into the Silver Halter Theater, the girls discover that the Spirit of Disharmony has one more “game” for them to play, with a twist that Twilight finds disturbingly familiar.
Additional Tags: MMO taken to the next level
101 kommentaari:
NOT Twilight's Fault?
VastaKustutaAmazing.
Gonna read that :3
Sweet, this is out, and... I'm not credited for the idea? Vulpin, Y U NO credit me?
VastaKustuta@Fawful
VastaKustutaSorry Fawful.
Yes readers, Fawful there came up with the idea for this and let me run with it.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaWoah, what?
Not Twilight's fault? Wait, what?
VastaKustutaThe premise of this seemed similar to a fic I started writing a long time ago. Well, at least the idea of Trixie and Twilight swapping bodies and empathizing with eachother. But then you took it in an interesting direction with them both being in the same body. I really like where this one's going.
VastaKustuta@Vanguard
VastaKustutaThere can be any number of reasons someone could have something like that favorited.
lets not be judgemental guys, lol.
Also, feeding troll.
To be honest, writing stories usually involves fake things, be it characters, setting or historical liberties.
VastaKustutaSo, hell, why not ponies.
Nice fic man and I'm going to be looking forward to the next chapters.
VastaKustutaWow, I'm right in the middle of writing a second chapter of a fic where Twilight and Trixie switching bodies is the main premise. Well this bites. Its a good thing this guy's story is so different, and that my story has technically hit the internet first, or else I might have to stop writing it completely. I hope that when I submit mine to ED that no one thinks I'm copying. :/
VastaKustutaNOT TWILIGHT'S FAULT.
VastaKustutaI read it and it was not twilight's fault.
Good Fanfic, I will read more when it comes out.
VastaKustutaHehe, such pitiful trolls.
Already told my opinion on the IRC channel, but:
VastaKustutaI like it =3 The challenge talk got me frowning about some bitter memories (OMM), but you handled your premise pretty well. The shared mind was way more organized than my previous experiences on the matter.
Well, I've put this on my list of must-reads.
VastaKustutaSeems like it should be a fun read...
@Vanguard
VastaKustutaWhere's da proof bro?
Oh great Twilight screws up ano-... Wait a minute..
VastaKustuta*Reads tags*
>NOT Twilight's Fault!
>NOT Twilight's
Well then, I guess I'll have to give this a shot then.
Not bad at all, good foundation laid out for the story, and everyone seems to be in character so far. I do believe I will be checking out further updates as they become available.
VastaKustuta@Rainbow Crash:
VastaKustutaPersonally, I found the failtrolls to be hilarious in a "lolwut?" Sort of way. However, I see your point. I would rather read comments about the story (read: on topic) than comments about whether one prefers pics of naked humans to pics of naked anthropomorphic animals. I figure that as long as people keep that kind of stuff to EqAD, then I don't care.
On topic:
Liking this fic so far. The setup for all this is well done, and the first conflict looks like it will be interesting indeed. While I was at first horrified that Pinkie Pie would be the first to bump into them after the accident, I later realized that her nature probably makes her the easiest of the mane cast to deal with in this situation.
Well, that was weird...it seems that the comment I was replying to as well as the anonymous troll comments have disappeared.
VastaKustuta*reads tags* NOT my fault?
VastaKustuta...I'm reading this on principal.
And I like it.A very interesting take on the "Body/mind swap gone wrong".
But this sort of thing is dependent on what happens later... I shall wait and make my judgment after about chapter 4 or 5.
I'm so happy the anon-troll comments got deleted, they made me quite sad, and this story didn't deserve it.
VastaKustutaSeems like a pretty nice start, I'll be interested to see where it goes.
@Bugsydor
VastaKustutaFunny story, I didn't have a real account until just now so my comment vanished along with the troll.
On topic: Have to reserve judgement until there is, you know, some meat to this story. Great teaser though.
I like it so far - looking forward to seeing more =D
VastaKustutaI was pleasantly surprised by this one. The two-minds-in-one-body thing was done very well.
VastaKustutaLOL, MMO.
VastaKustutaI like it, though I'm a big fan of these type of stories in general. I do think a few things were a bit rushed...but otherwise looking forward to more.
This is very good, and I'm not surprised that you beat my own fanfic in rating! While I was reading, I thought, at least, Pinkie Pie isn't there... I spoke to soon.
VastaKustutaVery nice so far. Characterization seems good, what's out so far is funny, and I look forward to further installments.
VastaKustutaI'm really enjoying the story so far, this is good stuff.
VastaKustutaThis would actually be a good basis for an episode. Very entertaining.
VastaKustutaI bet it would be easier if Trixie's body had Trixie's voice all the time.
VastaKustutaGreat story. Look forward to more.
VastaKustuta@banannagram
VastaKustutaPerhaps, but it wouldn't be as fun to write. :P
Trying to picture this as an episode...
VastaKustutaIt's a good episode.
I don't know... their personalities were fleshed out in the first chapter but it seemed like they became nearly identical (personality wise) after the second chapter. That's just how I feel.
VastaKustutaAlso, people seem to portray Twilight as a serious and hardworking pony, forgetting the times she outright bursts into cheerful glee. So at times she's like a more intelligent Applejack, and at times she's 20% of Pinkie Pie. Most writers tend to stick to only the former.
Sad.
Chapter 4 - Good work. You're really showing off some talent here.
VastaKustutaSomehow I can't stop reading this.
VastaKustuta@lakilester00 you say that like it's a bad thing...
VastaKustuta@CTVulpin Nope, it's a good thing.
VastaKustutaChapter 5 already.
VastaKustutaSo far you set everything good. I would have reacted the same way if I was as rash as Rainbow was.
I lol'ed when Spike called them by the name shipping name Twixie, but alas, what would you call them if you were to lazy to decide which was currently dominant.
VastaKustutaI'm happy a new chapter is out, I just suggest adding more content to them, since it didn't go too much further than the last chapter.
VastaKustutaDat ponynapper Rainbow!
VastaKustutaI'd cheer for her, but it's Twilight's problem too! Poor Twi!
@Trunklord
VastaKustutaSorry. I guess I've gotten too focused on word counts...
I think I like where this is going... Is there a Trixie vs Gilda catfight looming on the horizon?
VastaKustutaTrixie and Gilda fighting next story.
VastaKustutaMan Trixie is going to end up earning her spot again. While Pinkie Pie, was cheering Trixie up in the midst of her "defeat" in Ponyville. The Griffons are attacking the town wrecking it.
A GOOD READ
VastaKustutaIs the OC the one in the story where Luna absorbs the internet? He seems pretty well played.
VastaKustutaHuh? Oh. NO. Ashen Blaze is from Order-naries.
VastaKustuta@banannagram
VastaKustutaWhich you should definitely read. It's awesome.
It's 3 stories in 3 genres. And some very well done OCs.
@CTVulpin
Pretty awesome ending to a decent story. I love how it was spinoff-y.
Second story? *fanbrony squeal*
VastaKustutaHere we go again...
VastaKustutaNow will they all be shoved into one incredibly complicated gestalt or paired up?
Oh god. It's not over! squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
VastaKustutaOkay..Ninja squirels.
VastaKustutaFor that alone you'd get a 4-star.
Oh my word STORY TWO!
VastaKustuta-hops around excitedly-
Very nice ending to the first story!
VastaKustutaYou really stepped it up a notch in the second story. I really like it!
Also, Trixie eating a pinecone?! I wonder where you could have gotten that! ;P
>Read the second story
VastaKustuta>"Rodent of unusual size"
http://myfacewhen.com/115/
I love it already :-). Great first chapter of the 2nd story.
VastaKustutaStory 2 Ninja Squirrel:Okay and it mastered Naruto's techniques. :P
VastaKustutaLoved the first story, looks like I'm going to enjoy the second one.
VastaKustuta"Somepony wasn't a hundred percent committed to the spell."
They never should have tried separating Pinkie from her chocolate rain.
Hey, the sequel has Discord in it! In a believable way! Without being some ridiculous ship! That makes this the first fanfic with Discord that I'm actually LIKING. Kudos!
VastaKustutaChapter 2 is up.
VastaKustutaOh this will be fun.
VastaKustutaTwilight:Rainbow Dash get out of my head.
VastaKustutaFluttershy:Pinkie Pie don't party to much in there.
Applejack:Don't make a mess, Rarity!
Fluttershy with Pinkie inside...
VastaKustutaThis can't end well.
If I've said it once, I've said it a billion times.
VastaKustutaI. Hate. Discord.
Pinkie trapped inside Fluttershy's head?
VastaKustutaPoor Fluttershy...
Also, on a side note: someone should make pictures for this.
VastaKustutaHmmm... of the three items, I think I know what the second one is: pearls.
VastaKustutathis is looking to be an interesting story in general, I liked the first one a lot, and did not really expect there to be a sequel, but I am happy that there is one, AND that it ties in with Discord! So much WIN!
VastaKustutaIf somebody wonders too, where the update is: The author extended the 2nd chapter – go (re-)read it, it is worth.
VastaKustutaTo have Pinkie in your head is like hell, I can imagine.
I think I figured out #1 and #3. But it can be wrong too
VastaKustuta1. Cinnamon or Nutmeg
2. Pearl
3. Thunder(I think)
Just a great story all around.
VastaKustutaYou've got me hooked.
I wonder what would happen if Rincewind the Wizzard met The Great and Powerful Trixie...
VastaKustutaAnypony?
@Magnanimous
VastaKustutaHmm... How about you take that idea and run with it? I think we could use another Discworld cross-over.
Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustuta@CTVulpin Well, I would, but I've submitted about 4 fanfics, all varied, and they were all rejected. I should prolly take that as a sign to leave it to the professionals.
VastaKustutaWell we see what happens if they try to purchase anything that could possibly help them in getting their items. Nearly fell out of my chair during the money scene.
VastaKustutaI'm curious about that other voice, either Discord's developed a split personality or he's playing with someone (possibly his harmonious counterpart?).
Love the bit with AppleJack's hat.
VastaKustutaI've read the first 3 chapters of this and so far, this fic reminds me of Stephanie Meyer's "The Host" Have you ever read that before? Maybe drew on that for inspiration? Or is it all just coincidence?
VastaKustuta@Kile Anderson
VastaKustutaCoincidence. Multi-mental was inspired by the earlier story and a TS-as-RD pic I saw.
Fluttershy fighter of Bears and keeping order within the world of Equestria.
VastaKustutaHa Pinkie Sense and the Stare.
So if Pinkie has the Pinkie sense and her sister can sense auras then what can sister#3 do?
VastaKustutaEitherway that was a fun read. Fluttershy keeping order and Pinkie being her regularly random self they're like a living representation of balance.
So far the 1st success in Discord's little game, so that just leaves Rarijack and Rainlight still in play.
Interesting ideas presented in this fic. I like the buildup of the plot nearing the end of chapter 5. Concluding with a letter was really sweet
VastaKustutaHowever, i feel that the full potential of the mind swap idea has not been fully utilized. More focus can be put on how twilight's friends are convinced that trixie has put some terrible spell on twilight, throwing trixie into hot soup and further deepening the plot. Perhaps twilight shouldn't have her own voice while being in trixie, making things even more complicated. Then there'll be a lot of things that can happen.
it's still a good read though, i just feel it has the potential to become better. (:
Hmm. How did Twi/dash get food without money changing hooves?
VastaKustuta"It would be like if I found the dial marked "Awesome," turned it up to eleven, then tore it off and ran away laughing!"
VastaKustutaThat line right there needs to be the show.
Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustuta@Sindri
VastaKustutaBecause them eating wasn't doing anything to help complete their task, outside of the whole "continuing to live" factor.
hmmm I am going to say this Rainbow Dash makes a good teacher.
VastaKustutaVery strange, very interesting, well written, creative, applaudable fidelity to the characters. Well done.
VastaKustuta"Girls, would be so kind as to help me?"
Fantastic. ^_^
Aww right! That was a fun story. Twi got to fly! AJ used magic! See ya when you're ready for more CTV.
VastaKustutaSPOILER ALERT!!!!
VastaKustutaGoing to go the opposite of my usual review style and just say that the overall motivation of Story 2 feels like an excuse. Perhaps you could do better if you put more discussion between the two voices at the start maybe... something to flesh out why they are even having this conversation... I mean one of them shouldn't be ABLE and the other shouldn't be WILLING if one takes the most obvious interpretations. Despite all this it is a reasonably interesting story.
A little on the later chapters I guess...
"Who the hay was that other guy?
-Guy? I assumed it was Celestia...
I'm reading 'Of Two Minds' now, and I'm a trifle confused. There keep being references to Trixie's second visit to Ponyville, but I don't believe I've read that story...
VastaKustuta@Fred M. Sloniker
VastaKustutaMeh, keep reading. I didn't read her "second" visit to Ponyville, but was still enjoyable.
In fact, I don't plan to unless the author was going to use that event.
A story of Two minds is quite entertaining and enjoyable.
VastaKustuta@Fred M. Sloniker
VastaKustutaThat was a nod to the events in the author's other story "The Ordernaries".
These stories take place in the same version of Equestria.
I am shocked at the ending. Multiverse meaning more than one universe. Equestria is doomed.
VastaKustuta@DPV111
VastaKustutaThat's "Order-naries," not "The Ordernaries."
I tried to make these stories able to stand on their own, but reading the Order-naries fics (there are three) will help your understanding a little.
"...it cracked open slightly and a thick pink mist hissed out and surrounded the ponies."
VastaKustutaohshit Pink Clou-
right. Not in Fallout Equestria. Calming down...
I liked both stories quite a lot, but the connection to order-naries irked me. The first story was quite fun and built around Trixie and Twilight, but suddenly an OC arrives and fixes everything? That felt really weird.
VastaKustutaThe second story had the same problem, but it got even worse. I would have liked to see what was behind a character that would be willing to work together with Discord. Instead we have a very vague ending and none of the characters knew what was going on.
Basically they were just given a "gather 10 X" quest by Discord for no discernible reason, then they completed it and that was it, end of story.
For the second story:
VastaKustutaI agree with @Acriaos that it has a vague and abrupt ending, it needs to be concluded clearly.
Also, theres this huge logical gap in the story: the mane 6 were initially forced into the game as they were confined to the room, but after they were released, why didnt they seek help from Celestia or somepony else? That should be the most obvious choice, given that Discord is unlikely to play fair. I think there should have been at least a small section about how the mane 6 tried to get help but were stopped.
Theres also a lack of emotion. the characters just went around solving their problems and stuff without much feeling. some stretches along chapters 3-5 were a little boring.
On the other hand, i enjoyed the idea of a riddle. the items were all satisfyingly fitting and linked to the characters. The plot was brought out well and there were good links to the traits of each character. Most of the chapters were pretty nicely finished. I think the strength of this fic is the ideas. Nice story :)
Ugh such a small chapter. Good though.
VastaKustuta