Author: Tinwhistle
Description: An over-read My Little Pony fan finds himself in Equestria, in what seems like a fanfiction. Can he figure out the reasons behind his "misplacement" and what it means? A half-parody of self-insert fanfiction and fanfiction in general.Imposition Part 1
Imposition Part 2
Imposition Part 3
Imposition Part 4
Imposition Part 5
Imposition Part 6 (New!)
Additional Tags: Human in Equestria, Parody, Overwritten,
115 kommentaari:
"Should I just march into town, and quickly insert myself into the solving of their personal problems? Should I just wait around until I become important in some sort of ancient and mystical plot?"
VastaKustutaHAH! Avoided both in Arddun Lleuad! WOO!
Anyway, this was a GREAT read, really love the wording and the writing style. Had me laughing more than once, and once right out loud. Will keep an eye out for more!
- Pride
Sort of interesting, I hope the this was the end of exposition and your on to plot now though.
VastaKustuta@Pride
VastaKustutaYou didn't self insert, you aren't allowed to compare yourself to this!
It would be Pinkie Pie.
VastaKustutaThis is etnertaining, please continue.
This is pretty good.
VastaKustutaHighly entertaining.
VastaKustutaOne question not regarding the story is who is the girl in green in the image up top?
@MushForgive me if my memory is failing me, but I believe that is Number 3 from Kids Next Door.
VastaKustuta...
VastaKustutaDat nostalgia!
Oh man, I remember reading this on RDN. Tinwhistle can be one witty son of a gun, and this story is a wonderful example.
VastaKustutaCan't wait to read more! :D
Wait I just realized, how is this crossover?
VastaKustutaI like this a lot. I can't help but feel reminded of Gulliver's Travels. I'm also glad the narrator is able to keep a rational mind through the story. I can't wait to read more.
VastaKustutaHANG ON! Lemme find my thesaurus! Not that it's obtuse to the point of illegibility but please, it sounds more as if the author is imitating some of the more ... flamboyant writers of the past? No, not flamboyant, as that was their way. It's very, well, formal. Almost archaic in the word usage and selection. If this was the intent, by all means ignore me. If not, uh, either you are a very well-spoken individual or you need to stop with the 'right-click/thesaurus' function in Word.
VastaKustutaAlso, if you are nostalgic about CN:KND then I must be frightfully old.
However, apart from the vernacular, this is a story that is very well done. I would love to read more.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaIt feels as if there is purpose behind the author's choice of using more "archaic" words and sentence structures, rather than it being a mishmash of a few things that just sounded pretty. I believe that his other skills in writing speak to him being a very well-read individual with an aptitude for formal writing. It may be a bit on the side of purple prose compared to other works, but I feel the quality of it is able to shine against the faults inherent to the style. Besides, it lends very well to the story and is overall refreshing for the fanfiction community.
To the author: Wonderful job. It is both funny, well-written, and you make the premise feel new, even though the setup has almost been beaten to death. I very much look forward to further entries.
The prose is purple on purpose.
VastaKustutaBeing a fan of Self-Inserts and 'Humans in Equestria' stories, I found this parody to be absolutely HILARIOUS. It is as if the author is keeping one step ahead of the game!
VastaKustutaI lol'd.
VastaKustutaI liked the imitation of Nabokov's style, and am looking forward to moar.
Man I really like this story.
VastaKustutaCan't wait to see what happens next!
I laughed so hard at that line about Spike in part 3. This is a masterpiece of satire.
VastaKustutaCleverly written, wonderfully humorous, and your use of the second person is brilliant. I agree with many of the other posters here in that your use of a more, for lack of a better word, archaic style makes for a very enjoyable read. I look forward to more.
VastaKustutaDammit! such a short chapter. and just when it was getting good too... quite honestly i cannot wait for another chapter, one thats a bit longer pleas :D
VastaKustutaThe dry wit and lavender lexicon which fill this story are simply amazing! I hope you can keep it up, as I'll be eagerly looking forward to future chapters.
VastaKustutaIt's like Dante's The Divine Comedy in a way, just without herllfire and towers in the middle of oceans and a mass of souls orbiting around a celestial deity.
VastaKustutaVery, VERY well written, and the complicated grammar only adds to the comedy of it. This is BRILLIANT writing!
Interesting plot? Check.
VastaKustutaInteresting writing stlye? Check.
Interested Bear? Check.
Can't wait for part 4! I'm loving every minute of this story!
"She stopped in her tracks, as if she had just read a bad simile."
VastaKustutaThis is a brilliantly hilarious line. Keep up the great work on this story, my good sir!
I love everything about this story.
VastaKustutaThe author's jokes are just so unobtrusive (without being too subtle so as to never notice them) and genius that you can't help but laugh your ass off when you read them. And the way it's written is mighty refreshing.
6/5 stars.
"I stared sheepishly. They stared ponishly."
VastaKustutaXD
OK Mr. Author, now you're just making fun of me and my 'too wordy' comment. :P Fine, Mr. Wilde.
VastaKustutaThe best overwritten thing I've ever...read... I never thought I'd say that.
VastaKustutaSeth, how can this be 6 star with less than 60 votes?
VastaKustutaIt made my day to see that chapter 3 was finally out.
VastaKustutaThough, in the interest of constructive criticism, I have to say: I didn't particularly like the line that the author chose to end the chapter on. It didn't really fit with the style of the rest of the story. More specifically, it was the type of ending that would work in a story that was told in the present tense, but seems awkward in a primarily past tense story. Especially when the tale is told by an author that seems predisposed to self-reflection (it reads as though the narrator has practiced the story many times, rather than this being the first telling) and thus would be unlikely to be making the note only just now.
Despite my slight rant there, I really did enjoy the story. It's just that the last line sort of detracted from it, and any mar made upon perfection stands out all the more because of how great the work surrounding it is.
Amazing story, but I can't help but feel you wrote the entire thing with a thesaurus at your side for every 5th word
VastaKustuta^this is me being retarded and not even reading the tags/comments
VastaKustuta"we deal with hurricanes mainly by running"
VastaKustutaAh, so true, to have winged horses moving clouds around would be so nice :3
yeah right, Like Angel's gonna let him in peacefully.
VastaKustutaI liked this story, please take your time when releasing chapters, I hope this to be a long story!
VastaKustutaOk, this is the first time I try reading something with humans in equestria. It was quite funny, but I still can't tell where the story is going, soooo... still not rating it, but I'll keep reading it for sure ^_^
VastaKustutaAt first, I was like "...what?"
VastaKustutaAnd then I lol'd.
This is absolute comedy gold, and SO. QUOTEABLE.
VastaKustutaThough I must say I find the inversion of the Mr. Ed role especially droll, as a talking human in a world of horses.
I am so very glad that after initially dismissing this piece based on the description, I went ahead and read it anyway. It was very much worth it!
Those waiting for some grand adventure storyline are likely going to be disappointed. Sure, there are going to be twists and surprises, and a plot that develops, but it's not going to be a Serious Business Epic Adventure. This is mainly for the fun and giggles.
VastaKustutaI guess you gave up on this one, sad. It was pretty good read.
VastaKustutaPlease tell me that the anon above is wrong and you're planning to continue this. Because I'll be damned if it wasn't the best fanfic I've read on this site.
VastaKustutaStill writing, geez. Gimme some time!
VastaKustuta@tinwhistle
VastaKustuta:D
Eh, bu, pf, STOP IT. Stop it, stop it, stop it! I'd stamp but my feet hurt.
VastaKustuta... I mentioned one thing. ONE THING and it was only a possible thing. At least I'm being made fun of by someone who has decent writing skill. :P
This is SO GOOD. Some of the satire in here is solid gold.
VastaKustutaI love it so far, it's so clever and well-made! Please keep it up, it's such a wonderful piece of work ^^
VastaKustutaI took a moment to enjoy your pun.
VastaKustutaThat's numbuh 3 in Codename: P.O.N.Y
VastaKustutaPony Organisms Not Yoghurts.
I made that in a minute.
This is... positively hilarious. I burst out laughing at the coffee table segment.
VastaKustutaThis is the most blatantly overwritten thing I've ever read and it's fantastic.
Your writing style reminds me of Rose Lalonde...
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaIt's certainly because of all the purple prose
And now we've all seen how it's supposed to be done.
VastaKustutaThe way this is written. . .
VastaKustutaThis may possibly be the most brilliant fanfic I have ever read.
This is indeed quite fantastic...
VastaKustutaIt seems we have found a goldmine of overwritten purple prose that is also heavily entertaining. I approve.
VastaKustutaThe Spike line caught me so dead in my tracks it indeed felt like hearing a bad simile. No, wait, that came out wrong...
Also, the sticky question of meat. I approve of the creative response ;)
Hilarious! Such good writing, and I'm frankly surprised I understood all of it. You, Tinwhistle, are a Renaissance master of the written word.
VastaKustutaLove it :D
VastaKustutaOh boy, I wonder what that Tyrant Celestia wants with the huamn!!!!! SEND HIM TO THE MOON!
VastaKustutaYou have to be good to pull off this level of purple prose, and by God this guy can do it.
VastaKustutaAlso, the intro to the fourth part was just awesome.
I enjoy what I'm reading here. I love the writing style. I don't get what everybody's talking about with the "overwritten" and "purple prose", but I've really never read much fiction.
VastaKustutaSoooo... wait ?
VastaKustutaDid the author forgot that in Part3, the rest of the Main Cast had ''agreed'' that the human had to sleep at Fluttershy's cottage ?
...I know that she's shy and etc, but why does she prevent the human from entering and sleeping where he was SUPPOSED to sleep ?
Pony-amnesia or something ? (and ''being scared'' isn't a valid point when it was stated that the human HAD to be with her, unless she forgot that too ?)
>You are to accompany us to the royal court to be tried on offenses that I am unable to disclose.
-Displaying no reasons to arrest someone when doing it... must be a popular Royal-trope or something...
Personally i greatly apreciate the verbocity of this particular story. As this is the type of prose i tend to enjoy and employ, it has convinced me to grant it a rating of five stars out of the maximum possibility of five.
VastaKustutaA Quick sumation for those to uninterested or busy to read the main body of my post: This was an excellent story and i give it the highest rating.
TL;DR: good story, 5/5.
Oh goody, not only does Celestia have a small country's worth of anonymous guards, but now she has an Exalted Imperium. Just what we needed.
VastaKustutaOn a side note, I really enjoyed this story. The wording and storyline are perfect. I must say though, the "verbal masterpiece" and the sage pun were what made me laugh the most. I'm also expecting many "sent to the moon" references in the next chapter, but excited about it nonetheless.
I simultaneously love and hate this Celestia...
VastaKustutaTrolololol lololol trololololol...
VastaKustutaOf Celestial proportions it might seem.
now this is getting good!
VastaKustutaI laughed. It was funny.
VastaKustutaNoooo.... I'm on vacation! I'm supposed to be hanging out with family, not reading fanfiction!
VastaKustutaTinwhistle Y U NO write bad fanfiction?
This is the best imagining of Celestia ever.
VastaKustutaAlso,
>Abacus
>PinkieDash
yes mad
Throne room requirements:
VastaKustuta> one (1) room with at least four (4) walls
> at least one (1) throne
sounds about right
I wish more could be written faster! However, given the quality if writing here, I would be in bad taste to rush. Keep up the great work!
VastaKustutaOh my God, this is... this is an interesting way of presenting Celestia.
VastaKustutaTinwhistle, you're amazing.
Loving your work! I only wish it'd come out somewhat faster.
VastaKustutaStill, ALL MY 5 STARS!
The protagonist has excellent taste in shipping.
VastaKustutaGah. Kill it with fire. NO MORE TROLLESTIA.
VastaKustutaVery entertaining to read, well written (any mistakes in prose/whatever would be way over my head anyway), looking forward to more!
VastaKustutaMy reaction finishing chapter 5 was, quite literally, a spoken-aloud "What!?"
Well played.
WHAT A TWIST!
VastaKustutaPinkieDash shipping is best shipping.
VastaKustutaOk I wasn't sure about this one at first...and then we got to chapter five and I think it became the BEST self-insert, or at least human in equestria, fic EVER!
VastaKustutaViva Brolestia!
The story just went sideways!!
VastaKustutaWonderfully... Gloriously sideways 6_9
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaIf this is a self-insert, I applaud the author for being... well, such a character.
I can't breathe!!!! XD Celestia being a brony... It's just... I can't... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! And just can't WAIT for the mother of all flame wars to happen between the author and Celestia! Ok... I'm calm now... In all seriousness, the first half felt somewhat rushed, but it was MORE than made up for with the second half. Please continue.
VastaKustuta[DIRECTED BY M. NIGHT SHY-MARE-LAN]
VastaKustutaTrollestia? This just got awesome. Can't wait for the next part. :o
VastaKustutaDuh. Everypony knows Twixie is best.
VastaKustutaThe style of this reminds me of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The droll narration and wandering about in plaid pajamas makes me think Arthur Dent in Ponyville.
VastaKustuta>I crossed my arms and glared disapprovingly.
VastaKustuta>“...I prefer Dashiepie.”
-And I approve his disapproval... also, RainbowPie sounds way better. But, 'Dashie' IS her best nickname ;).
... Also, well, meh I don't know ?
Part 1 to 4 had an interesting kind of ''meta'' (that's the right word ?), but for some reasons Part 5 seems different, slightly less 'interesting' ? ...
@Nova25
VastaKustutaWell, part five is when it quit being a satire and the fourth wall got broken, so I know what you mean. Now the characters are standing around saying, "Well, it was all a big joke," and it kind of yanks the momentum out from under the story.
Personally, I think the only proper way to end this sort of thing is with the characters awkwardly shuffling off-stage.
VastaKustutaEpilogue coming soon.
K, you're only fooling the stupid ones. Good chapter, can't wait for the inevitable next one. :p
VastaKustuta*reads part 1*
VastaKustuta"Ceci n'est pas une cloud."
Making a reference to my one of my most favorite paintings?
You have my interest.
Welp, there it goes and ends itself. I was enjoying the interactions with the regular ponies as well... It seemed very believable.
VastaKustuta@Part 4 "Leave the tea."
VastaKustutaTake the canoli?
XD Oh Celestia this fic would be so much fun to riff. Self-Parody Writer VS. Riffer; a classic battle of wits and humor...
The fourth wall is there for a reason. That reason is not target practice.
VastaKustutaSelf-referential solipsism is not clever.
Your fic is bad and you should feel very bad for doing it.
two thumbs down.
Huh... well that ended... oddly.
VastaKustutaI mean, talk about out of left field. I can't say it was BAD it was just... Odd... and Meta as all holy hell... SO much so I think my eyes went full derp for a sec...
I'm really not sure how to respond... I think I would have preferred something slightly different but I'm not sure how to complain about this ending either...
...
OHGODIMSOCONFUSED
But nice work
I think?
Yes.
Haha, the ending was a bit underwhelming. I bet this was a bit tiring to write. And you seem to have been very inspired by Lolita
VastaKustutaGreat meta-writing, pretty good 4th wall breaking, and my favorite version of Celestia yet. I tip my hat to you, sir.
VastaKustutaWhen I first started reading this fanfic I like how the character interacted with the world and I also liked how you handled the characters first interactions with the mane cast. However, after the character was taken prisoner and brought in front of Celestia I lost faith in this fanfic. You had so much potential with this and you ruined it.
VastaKustutaI was REALLY hoping this story was going to lead into a larger story arc. I really enjoyed what you had going here. Sad to see it end so soon.
VastaKustutaYou're all more than welcome to write your own, because that's all I got for this one. Ah well.
VastaKustutaGonna keep writing other fics, you may see them.
OMFG!!! BEST THING EVER!!!! Soooooo well written too! Are you like an English major or something?
VastaKustutaIt could have been even funnier to have you freak out all the ponies with all that you already know about them.
Also: thanks for so much Fluttershy! She's the best!
This was amazing until the last chapter ruined it forever.
VastaKustutaFair enough the author admitted it was experimental so to hell with 'proper' story writing. Also the first five parts deserved their five stars.
VastaKustutaAs for this final part, still, WTF?
The main core of the sixth part was the joke list. Had I the time to be a pre-reader, I would have said, "the joke's list made my eyes glaze over even before I finished it".
I feel kind of let down by the ending. I got all excited when I saw that the fic updated, then I found out that >nope.avi it's just a list of jokes.
VastaKustutaThe tag under the story still says "incomplete" though, so I'm going to pretend it was a joke final chapter, and that the story will continue in a chapter 7 to be released in the future.
(Also, I thought that "Imposition" was poking fun at the fanfic "Stuck", by using a synonym that was more fitting into the purple prose of the passage.)
>Also, I thought that "Imposition" was poking fun at the fanfic "Stuck", by using a synonym that was more fitting into the purple prose of the passage.
VastaKustutaDammit, I should have thought of that.
Anyway, yeah, I was just messing with you guys. Part seven is incoming. Unless, of course I'm messing with you right now. Hehe.
I didn't like the ending... =/
VastaKustutaGetting abducted by a brony Trollestia? No. I don't like that, especially if it abruptly ends a really interesting story full of hilarious self-aware humor.
Aaaw, apparently I was one of the few who actually got the humor.
VastaKustutaIt's funny precisely because of the self-referential style. Actually, for some reason, I thought it was absolutely hilarious when you called yourself funny. I think it's because if comedians remark on their jokes people expect them to insult their jokes, but you instead give them over-powered praise.
When I saw that you had compiled every joke into a list I promptly read it all and snortled the entire way through.
I absolutely love your style of writing. It's intelligent, parodical, and yet still funny. Storywise, yes, I believe that you cut off the story way to short; however, I never felt like my time was ever wasted.
Please write something again in this style, it's absolutely hilarious. (Did you see that comma right there in the middle of that sentence? Yeah, that was a reference to when there was a comma in Lolita.)
Holy balls, the ending caught me off-guard.
VastaKustutaYes, it was hilarious and unexpected, but it was EXTREMELY abrupt, and killed my high hopes for a long and epic quest. Instead, I got a quick (albeit laugh out loud hilarious) joke, and a "The End".
Good work, overall, though.
This was totally hilarious. I loved the style; the wording and self-aware humor was fantastic. I'm going to keep an eye open for more of your stories.
VastaKustutaHaha, this was so crazy! As others have said, the self-referential humor is hilarious; I love all of the ways you paint the fourth wall. Furthermore, Brony Celestia is my favorite variant now, I think.
VastaKustutaWhy is there still an Incomplete tag? It seems hard to continue the story after this ending... I nearly didn't read it because I though it was incomplete and would have missed out a lot. But the list of jokes in the end was unnecessary, the joke is just not funny if you have to explain it.
VastaKustutaWow this is quite possible one of the best pieces of parody I've ever read.
VastaKustutaThat was a good read.
VastaKustutaYou know, I would've liked this to become an adventure through time and space, but whatevs.
VastaKustutaGood Humbert, if that is not an oxymoron. I disagree with the people who were upset at the final chapter; I thought it was a fine ending, and some long adventure enclosing a rational explanation would not be an improvement. Nabokov would like to talk to you about using "it's" as a possessive.
VastaKustuta