Author: Wynneception
Description: What happens when you take two socially awkward ponies, add the nerves of being in love for the first time, send them out on a date together, then throw in their meddling friends for good measure? You get this story, that's what.Once Bitten, Twice Shy Part 1
Once Bitten, Twice Shy Part 2
Once Bitten, Twice Shy Part 3
Once Bitten, Twice Shy Part 4 (New!)
Additional Tags: TwiShy, Meddling Ponies, Hilarity Ensues
141 kommentaari:
Comedic Shipping?
VastaKustutaand TwiShy?
must read.
Somepony finally did it! I came up with this title months ago and was waiting for somepony to use it. So here I am, deciding I might just write it myself, and this comes out! Funny how things work out...
VastaKustutalooks interesting, oh and maybe First!
VastaKustutaLike the title of this one, when I feel like a shippy story or have a boring hour i'll give it a read.
VastaKustutaI'm horridly picky about comedy though. so long as its not too over the top it should be fine.
Also I think i've only ever seen Twishy once before, maybe twice.
(Reads description): "Two socially awkward ponies? I wonder if this is TwiShy.
VastaKustuta(Reads Tags): "Huh, turns out it is."
(Reads title again): "Well, now I feel stupid."
Also, I forgot to add, I'm about halfway through the second chapter now, and I already love it! :)
VastaKustutaI love this story! It's the right amount of comedy, not overdone.
VastaKustutaA Fluttershy shipping fic?! AUTO-READ! 8D
VastaKustutaGah! The title nearly destroyed my brain.
VastaKustutaCross references of TwiShy, Twilight-Vampires and Vampire-Twilight. And the Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GEZUZ! Now I think I almost understand how Pinkie Pie thinks.
XD WHy has nopony else thought of Sparky as a nickname for Twi from Pinkie Pie?! XD
VastaKustutaXD Referance from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, hmm?
XD Chapter one was really good! *Keeps reading to chapter 2*
I rather enjoyed this. Adding to my list of things to watch for.
VastaKustutaMust admit, when Rarity said "There's a fine line", Diary of Jane popped into my head on full blast. Hope I'm not the only one :P
Think of dragons! This started funny and got better all the way through chapter 3. 5/5 easily.
VastaKustuta@DPV111
VastaKustutaHow I think? How do I think? What do I think? Why does my tail taste like cotton candy? Did I leave Gummy in the tub again?
@Pinkie Pie
VastaKustuta1: You don't want to know.
2: Because.
3: Yes.
This is a really funny fic. And I absolutely loved the Beauty and the Beast reference.
VastaKustutaWhile Trevor DID find it SOMEWHAT amusing as to FLuttershy being dragged to the Library, he DOES have THIS to say... You pick on Fluttershy any more, and he'll... Umm... Write some VERY MEAN COMMENTS! *Hmph!* (XD)
VastaKustutaXD Trust Pinkie Pie to have tons of fun! XD YESYESYESYESYESYESYES! Shesaidyes! Shesaidyes! Hey, this is fun, Dashie, you should try it! XD Perfect Pinkie Pie!
XD And she already had some invitations written... She's SO IC that it's AWESOME! 8D
... Okay, somepony get on a picture of Rainbow with that hat STAT! O.O
XD Fluttershy's scene after it goes back to her is so adorable! XD That scene alone made her seem even cuter than before, and Trevor didn't think that that would happen! (Trevor was already shocked enough when he saw how much more adorable she was in RD's style! O.o)
XD FOREVVVVERRRRRRRRR! /pinkieinbasketofsponges.jpg
SHIT! I just sprayed Root Beer all over my laptop thanks to you! (From Pinkie Pie's "TWILIGHT LOVES FLUTTERSHY?!") I swear, if it messes up my laptop, you're getting sent the bill! *Eye twitch*
YAY! On the chapter three! CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FANFIC READERS! YAY!!!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
twishy?!
VastaKustutabe still my aching hart. Still i will resist the urge to click, im tracking so meny stalled stories at the moment that adding another narrative to it will just confuse things.
Meanwhile, on the other side of Ponyville, Fluttershy hadn't made it far before her wings locked up, and sent her spiraling into somepony's garden, where she smacked straight into a pot-plant.
VastaKustutaWho's cultivating what now?
"Cheer up Charlie"
VastaKustutaDude, that made me piss bricks
Love it, love everything about it
THE DIALOGUE IS SOOOO GOOD. I love rainbow dash's lines. Every one of them is brilliant, and fluttershy is so deep in character its hard not to imagine the animations playing out in my head.
VastaKustutaI continue reading eagerly.
One question tho: I know its and MLP fic, hence girl on girl is essentially the norm... but not once do the mane six question twi and Fluts filly-fooler status? just kinda go with it don't they. only qualm I had with chpt 1. Would have liked to see them at least realistically acknowledge the odd revelation that the two were gay before loving and tolerating the shit out of them...
"Gosh, Dashie, you're such an airhead," ... XD Cracked one up! (Good thing that Trevor finished his root beer... *Glares at Author again* )
VastaKustutaI DID! I DID SAW A PUTTY TAT! (XD At least, that seems to be the reference that Trevor got from that! XD)
YAY! End of chapter! *Grinning like a Cheshire Cat*
One forgot that there isn't another chapter out yet! GAH!
*Glares at Wynne* OI! You owe me another chapter for making me spit Root Beer at my Laptop from your story, so get working!
(... Please? At least sometime within a week or two? Please?)
~ Magical Trevor
Really amazing, I am eager to read part 4 already
VastaKustutaonly thing that disturbed me a little was the fact that rainbowdash sounded like a slut in it, an heterosexual slut
I like the idea of rainbow being sexually mature but it it kinda puts me off in that. Probally because the majority of lesbodash or even straightdash fans tends to picture her as someone coming in terms with her sexuality and also very insecure about it
As a lebodash fan I can assure you that even if it was 2 mares, it would have sounded a bit weird
But I honestly loved the story as a whole, I literally lol'd at some parts and Its pretty near from making my day as for today, since its already 5PM
Love this pair too
thanks for that
@R-C
VastaKustutaWould it make more sense to you if you Imagined a RANDOM tag up there?
I love this story, and eagerly await more.
VastaKustutaSPROING
VastaKustutaSrsly, funny ship is funny and you win a 5 star
Such a lovely story! I love the characterizations, and I could easily see the dialogue you've written passing very well in an actual episode (subject matter not-withstanding). That and TwiShy is one of my more preferable ships next to TwiLuna. :D
VastaKustuta@DPV111
VastaKustutaits way too much incharacter to be considered random imo :l
as people said on early answers, its like we could see the whole animation behind the words
Just finished chapter one, really enjoying your writing style here, Wynneception.
VastaKustutaA TwiShy fic?
VastaKustutaHooray!
This is really great :D looking forward to reading part 4 :) 5/5
VastaKustuta"You mad?"
VastaKustutaI fell off my chair! OUCH!
Why is part 4 not out?
VastaKustutaThis is brilliant, we need more twishy, well I'll read any fluttersy ship ^_^
This is amazing, recommend , recommend, recommend!
VastaKustuta“YOUR EYES ARE GREAT,” Cracked me up. :3
Couldn't stop alternating between daaaaaw and laughing out of my chair.
VastaKustutaAnd then someone wrote a ship fic with a Great White song for a title.
VastaKustutaI'll be reading this.
Top notch dialogue here, folks.
VastaKustutaPlease sir, can we have some more?
VastaKustutaThey're ADORABLE like that! Eee!
*coughs, attempting to recover some semblance of masculinity*
*wishes he hadn't had equally awkward dates in the past*
Hilarious. I WANT MOAR.
VastaKustutaThis is awesome. I love AJ and Rarity bickering, and I love Dash and her hat. I love drunk Fluttershy and ponies being clueless about wingboners. I love Twilight weeping for her notes. About the only thing I didn't like was Pinkie's fourth-wall breaking. That was a little too goofy on top of everything else. I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
VastaKustutaWhy does this all feel like a setup for Dashiepie and Applety also? Regardless this is all kinds of adorable. Please sir, can I have s'more?
VastaKustuta"Does she like butter-tarts?!"
VastaKustuta"Steal My Sunshine" FTW!
This is both HILARIOUS and amazingly adorable at the same time.
VastaKustutaAlso, the author did a fine job keeping all of them in character. This could pass off as an actual episode.
"Good evening," the Maitre D' greeted them. “Have you got reservations?"
VastaKustuta'Several,' Fluttershy thought to herself.
Alright, I'll give you credit; that was a good pun.
Oh god. An awesome fanfic that isn't Past Sins. Which means that I'm most likely not going to get another chapter too soon.
VastaKustuta*Le sigh*
This story is effin hilarious.
VastaKustutaOH CELESTIA YES. This is brilliant.
VastaKustutaI have no more words. I d'awwed too hard and dropped them all.
This is both cute and hilarious.
VastaKustutaCan't wait for the next chapter!
Part 4 needs to be out NOW.
VastaKustutaNot to be a party pooper but i have a few things to nit-pick:
VastaKustuta#1 pinky scares me a little..
#2 I love how nobody questions homosexuality.
overall i give it a 4/5
Okay, I'll admit that I had some MAJOR concerns after the first chapter. Three of them, actually. One of them was that none of the Mane 6 thought it was in any way strange that Twilight and Fluttershy liked each other. I know that in fanon homosexuality is completely normal, but all of them are really quick to go along with it. No "Oh, I didn't know you liked mares," or any genuine surprise. Not even a passing mention! It detracted a bit from realism, if realism even exists in an MLP fanfiction.
VastaKustutaThe second thing was Twilight's characterization. There was a line in the first part that really sounded painful, the one on the first page about the "noble name of Twilight" being associated with "melodramatic moping." And yeah, Twilight is a smart cookie with an extended vocabulary and a penchant for alliteration (as seen in Applebuck Season), but something about that sentence didn't feel like natural dialogue. And yeah, she's bookish and a bit more introverted than most of the others, but compared to Fluttershy she's basically a social butterfly. I feel like she should be able to lead conversation a bit better.
Which brings me to criticism three: not enough exposition. I feel like a giant piece of the story is missing here--when and how exactly did Twilight and Fluttershy go from platonic friends to unable to speak around each other? With a context like that, it would make at least Twilight's behavior more believable and in character. Fluttershy makes sense even without that context, because her shyness is already clearly established.
Based on those three gripes alone, I was willing to ignore parts two and three and be on my way. Then I noticed all the five star votes and decided to give the next parts another shot. I'm really glad I did, too--all the characters, Pinkie Pie especially, are written extremely well in character. The date is an expertly paced comedy of errors and makes me laugh and facepalm at the same time, and pushes me forward and makes me want to know what else could possibly go wrong. The scene with Fluttershy's wingboner made me laugh harder than I have in a long time.
I guess what I'm getting at with this comment is part one really would have benefited from a fresh look and some editing--the rest of it really is 5 star material. I really did like it after I gave it another chance, but for future reference, the first chapter should always be spot on if you want to keep your readers going.
I take of my hat to you, sir. I haven't enjoyed a comedic shipping fic as much since Ballad. The one thing that struck me as a bit odd was that "noble name of Twilight" thing. But really, whatever. I'm quite surprised there is going to be more to it, I was fairly sure it was complete at three chapters the way things were going. Obviously, its a good thing there will be more.
VastaKustutaIts been a long time since I gave anything 5 stars. It might actually have been Ballad, come to think of it. Regardless, this definitely deserves it. I tend not to vote before a story is finished, but in this case I will gladly make an exception.
Normally I avoid shipping fics like the plague, but this one caught my eye for some reason (Comedy tag + Adorable Fluttershy pic? Maybe).
VastaKustutaGlad I did. Writing is impeccable. Very fun to read. :D
I want this animated soooooooooooo very badly. Its a crime that it isn't. The body language described, the dialogue, its all such gold. The only challenge would be how to portray their internal thought processes (which author does a great job of doing), but still, god do I wanna see this in animation
VastaKustutaI normally hate shipping, but this fic amuses me too much to dislike.
VastaKustutaI mean the cuteness factor was cranked up to 12, and THEN Pinkie sang "I know what boys like".
Nearly spit my coffee at the screen. You win.
Moar please! Im a sucker for TwiShy!
VastaKustutaI enjoyed the first two chapters, they had the right amount of humor and shipping. The third chapter however seemed to focus less on Twilight and Fluttershy and more on the ramblings of the others. The story became less of a romantic comedy to simply a reference filled, random, comedy with a small hint of romance (possibly, as long as you still remember they are on a date).
VastaKustutaWhile the characters were somewhat in character I felt that many times they changed and simply did not fit with how they are portrayed in the show. Rainbow may be quick to anger/agitate but she would not have simply left her friend there after all that she had done.
There were many references in this story, a few is fine but at some point it just became too much and felt forced if anything.
Oh my gawd this is the most adorable thing ever. It's so sweet I need to see a dentist.
VastaKustutaFluttershy's list of worries. HNNNGGGGG. It's like the inside of my head but a thousand times more adorable.
"Do you want this flashback or not!?" Snerk. You have officially made me laugh out loud while sitting in front of my computer. Good job.
Oh sweet merciful pony-Jesus. Their not-date is pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen. Somebody get me some insulin! Stat!
"When you're this cool, you don't have to understand words." Ahghguhdjgh. You've managed to capture every pony's personality perfectly. Dash, Pinkie, and Fluttershy in particular are just perfect.
"THE MOMENT." Yeah, that settles it. It's official: Rarity is best pony.
"TWILIGHT LIKES FLUTTERSHY!?" Okay, I'm changing my vote to Pinkie. She's clearly the new best pony evar.
Yeah. Senor Pinkasso? Pinkie is definitely the best pony.
Never has so much been said with nothing but punctuation.
"And that's how Fluttershy became an alcoholic." Pffff. I literally can't type properly from laughing so hard.
Oh god drunk Fluttershy is so sad. ;_; All of my tears. All of them.
"I did! I did! I did saw a Rainbow Dash!" -_-
Okay, this is fantastic. I need MORE.
Fluttershy with wingboner,
VastaKustutaDrunk,
Twilight being adorable, the two of them together.
No Trixie.
I'm throwing my money at my phone, but it's not happening. Just take my money.
Wait a second.
VastaKustutaEveryone immediately accepting TwiShy.
Rainbow Dash hitting on colts.
"Can't two friends of the same gender share a meal..."
Oshi- Homosexuality must be the "being straight" of Equestria. Liking the other gender makes you gay. :O
Hahaha.
This is an amazing piece. Everything about it screams fantastic writer. The tension and pacing work so flawlessly throughout, and the comedic bits are brilliant.
VastaKustutaI eagerly anticipate more.
This fic.
VastaKustutaTHIS fic right here.
You win, Wynneception. This is really THE best comedy FiM fic, bar none. Seriously, laughing almost the whole way.
Only one liiiitle thing I noticed. 'Coltinova' -- Twilight actually calls Spike a 'Cassanova' in one of the episodes.
Put me down as another non-fan of shipping that is loving this story. Just delightfully adorable and hilarious throughout, with such great characterization.
VastaKustuta"You want the hat, don't you?"
I'll admit i don't normally care for romantic stories but you have done it.
VastaKustutafunny and adorable without over doing it.
:) nicely done! can't wait for the next chapter.
I read it. I thought it was a bit over the top but also really humorous and nice to read.
VastaKustutaFluttershy and Twilight were adorable and Fluttershy's characterisation was pretty good. Drunkshy made me feel bad but I laughed.
This comment would be massive if I commented on everything I liked and disliked so i'll just say it was good overall and one of the better comedy fics i've read. Now im stuck waiting for the next chapter though.
Even Celestia herself is reading this fic if I'm supposed to believe Celestia is Celestia.
VastaKustutaThis is the funniest awkward flirting story I've read in a long while. :D
VastaKustutaI demand RariJack before this is over!
VastaKustuta:P
But, srsly, I think it would work as a nice side-story in this fic.
Oh my god I could not get through two paragraphs without cracking up. Rarity and Pinkie were a little over the top, but the rest was so brilliant I don't care. I will never get over 'Failure level critical. Abort. ABORT.'
VastaKustutaPlease write more. Please. If I knew you I would rarity-whine at you for more. I want to read more and I can't do that until you write more.
Waiting on part 4 ... I know it is coming soon :D ... GROWING IMPATIENT NEED PART 4 NOW
VastaKustutaIz a new bronie (\*3*/)
VastaKustutaI'm usually irked by having to to wait on fanfictions updating, but this one's unbearable due to the magnitude and scope of its epicosity. You sir have earned one internet for your efforts.
VastaKustutaNormally I hate shipping but this seems to be pulled off rather nicely :)
VastaKustutaI CAN HAZ MORE? :3
VastaKustutaI will go Pinkamina if I can't.
Pinky and Rainbow in Part 4 are the funniest things I've ever read.
VastaKustutaI sure picked a great fic to be my first read :D
VastaKustutaI pulled a Twilight. Nuff said. O ya and Rainbow Dash dresses in style... I see what you did there... Sequel I can has?
VastaKustutaSo... Much... Cute... HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
VastaKustutaDear Princess Celestia,
VastaKustutaToday I learned all shipping fanfics have no more than 5 chapters.
Seriously.
Oh my God.
VastaKustutaOH MY GOD.
ALL OF MY JOY
THE NEXT VERSION BETTER HAVE A VERY PASSIONATE KISSING SCENE OR I WILL BE UPSET
WOW. That was very well done.
VastaKustutakudos to you, Wynneception.
I now expect a full-blown sequel (with some more action, please).
Thank you for not going rule 34 on TwiShy, though.
YEAH! What Pinkie Pie said! Sequal! (Looks like it would be an RariJack, if you did.)
VastaKustutaLooking forward to any other stories you untend to so! AWESOME JOB! 8D Loved every second of it!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
@Twilight Spark
VastaKustutaAu Contraire! The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle is 13 chapters long and counting! (And it's fairly awesome IMO. Good balance of comedy and romance, while still having plot!)
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
I really liked this one. It was cute, awkward, and funny and was generally an interesting read.
VastaKustuta@Twilight Spark
VastaKustutaGo read Thunder and Lightning. Best ship there ever was. 6 chapters.
I enjoyed this fic a whole lot. nuff said. It was pretty damn good. superbly written, with exciting plot and character interaction a oh god above did I laugh my ass off at the scene with AJ and Rarity's horn. Hell, any time those two exchanged dialogue it was gold!
BUT! 3 qualms I had with it...
1:Not once is the fact that twi an fluts are gay brought up. completely sidestepped that little plot detail. their friends don't even bat an eye. not even a line or two about how they accept them regardless and love 'em? or something.
2: Rainbow is an ASSHAT in this. just an unfeeling egotistical troll. Pinkie wasn't much better. Overdid her character a little maybe.
3: (this one is in regards to the fandom, less to you author) Why does people seem to regard twilight as really socially awkward? Introverted? hell yeah she is, but other than maybe in Look before you sleep, twi is a take charge pony and leader of the group who is really confident and never struggles socially, and is far from being awkward. Fluttershy sure can be, but not twi. I was waiting for her to take charge this whole fic!
otherwise? fuck yeah author, keep up the awesome.
That was a beautiful story.
VastaKustutaThough I can never look at a unicorn horn the same way again.
Oh Luna that was funny. Pinkie and dash's jokes had me in tears as did applejacks realisation.
VastaKustutaAnd I agree with pinkie about what she said at the end ;)
P.s. Fluttershy is bestpony
That was a very, very good fic. I gotta say, we don't get enough FlutterTwi Fics.
VastaKustutaThis is officially, my all time favorite pony fanfic!
VastaKustutaThis was a very good story. I was laughing very frequently while reading this. I hope to see more stories from Wynneception.
VastaKustutaAww, that was kinda cute.
VastaKustutaOh nice futurama reference.
VastaKustutaGreat fic. Tremendously enjoyed everything about it.
I think I have diabetes now, thanks.
I must say I enjoyed this. The humor was a bit rocky and seemed forced at first, but this last chapter really flowed nicely. You got me laughing and everything felt natural. Love seeing the progress as it went on, and I will to enjoy to see it continue when you write more.
VastaKustutaOkay now for the less helpful...
Oh my lord I love this pairing!! There aren't enough fictions of these two out there, so thank you for adding a good one. Please make some more! And though I love how you used Rainbow being straight in this fic, even if I am a Rainbow/Pinkie fan ^^ but I do enjoy getting to see a look into the other option that's ignored often.
Great work, cant wait to see more! You earned the 5 stars ^^
Absolutely hilarious, and I disagree with Risky about Dash. Dash had sound advice and the only time she was trolling was when she wouldn't tell Twilight about wingboners. Getting Fluttershy to lick Twilight's horn was a pretty damn good idea, and the only flaws were awkwardness and Twilight momentarily thinking that Fluttershy had done it without intent to get with Twilight (which really was just cause Dash didn't fully explain about Fluttershy to Twilight IIRC.)
VastaKustutaI do agree that Pinkie was overdone. She's best as a "oh and btw she just broke the universe while doing that musical number" rather than "and then she broke the universe for the twentieth time that night and then directly talked to the reader."
Also, I think Rarity is awesome if she intentionally left AJ in the dark about what Fluttershy did just to make her freak out about giving Rarity a hornjob. Sure that means she kinda took advantage of AJ, but AJ had it coming rubbing a pony's body part just to see what happens.
I have to admit, this is a damn good fanfic. Actually, it's so good, I almost don't wanna finish writing mine because I know that mine won't be half the story this one is. Everyone was in character, except for Pinkie. i mean, she was, but the author kinda over did it with the over-the-top, fourth-wall-breaking cartoon-y stuff. I liked the story as a whole, I just think that the whole thing with Pinkie kinda takes away from the story a bit.
VastaKustutaquite good...absolutely cracked up when AJ figured out about the horns and wings
VastaKustutasame with Pinkie/RD trading jokes at Twilight
Steal my Sunshine reference on second page, must read entire fic
VastaKustutaJust when i thought i could read shipping without feeling slightly embarrassed chapter four happened.
VastaKustutaStory was brilliant though and most characterisation was spot on, I laughed when AJ figured everything out and actually enjoyed reading this despite my usual pickiness with comedy.
The ending was good and made me feel better about what happened after the matchmaking advice ruined everything.
Overall I really enjoyed reading this despite it making me feel embarrassed every so often.
*runs off to send Twilight embarrassing congratulatory letters*
Because of this story and all of the random powers and seemingly limitless ability to spawn objects and props from thin air, I'm convinced that Pinkie Pie really is a demi-god of some kind.
VastaKustutaNow that I've voiced that, I'd also like to say that the story itself was great. Funny and touching at the same time.
When I read "I love Twilight" my mind instantly wondered over to the thought: oh shit! Fluttershy's a Twilight fan! Noo! Sparkly vampires!! XD
VastaKustutaThere is so much irony in that joke!
I just LOVE this, nothing else to say.
VastaKustutaYou sir, are an absolute artist.
VastaKustutaThis is probably one of the best shipfics I've ever read. Your characterization was beyond perfect. And your comedy style is just the kind that makes me rofl.
Also, if you write a RariJack fic from this, I will love you forever.
only real problem i had was
VastaKustuta??? wtf? where did rarity get illusion magic from
@Risky
VastaKustutaWhy is it a bad thing the fic doesn't put an emphasis on that Twi and Flut like other females? We DON'T know how things actually work in Equestria outside of that ponies work 'normally' and that marriages happen, but any interpretation of how they consider homosexuality is pure fanon. In THIS fic, apparently, it's not enough of a deal to be worth mentioning. Nothing wrong with that, at all.
@All Glory to Fluttershy
Watch Suited for Success. It's quite obvious that all the backgrounds and stuff are Rarity making illusions.
Er, that is at the fashion show at the end of Suited for Success.
VastaKustutaShe'd never thought she would live to see the day when Rainbow Dash dressed in style. I actually lol'ed.
VastaKustuta@All Glory to Fluttershy
VastaKustutaEpisode 14 Suited for Success :P
it was just on a higher scale in this fic
Pinkie was right. This demands a sequel.
VastaKustutaI think this needs to be a six, honestly the best fic i've read so far.
VastaKustutaAlso we need some art for RD wearing a trilby hat, like naow :D.
VastaKustuta@King Kay
VastaKustutaNormally I would avoid them too. I've started to realize that the high rated ship-fics are usually really good, and not creepy like I assumed they would be.
OK, so I've now read the whole thing, and I have this to say: I love it. Mostly.
VastaKustutaI wanted to offer a few thoughts about the last (part 4) piece, because I had some concerns with it.
1) The innuendo with the horn and all...did not need to be that thick. Once the horn came out it started shifting from cute and funny to "uh...am I about to read some porn?" I got the joke but it felt overdone.
2) The fight between all 4 "helpers" towards the end felt forced. Maybe play it up more a bit earlier, so it doesn't feel so abrupt.
3) Twilight's "I HATE YOU FOREVER!!!! OK I'm cool" felt even worse. It was like you wanted to develop that plot thread but didn't want to drag the story out more. Better to flesh it out totally, or just not include it at all.
My heart melted in several places simultaneously.
VastaKustutaSweet, awkward and cute. Loved it, thank you for sharing :-)
VastaKustutaAlso, I demand Rarijack sequel! Seeing AJ and Rarity awkwardly dating would be quite interesting and hilarious. Or at the very least an epilogue. It would be nice to see how Twilight and Fluttershy end up.
VastaKustutaI'm about 2/3 of the way through chapter one and I'm literally laughing out loud as I read this. The characterizations are spot on and the entire story is hilarious. Fantastically done!
VastaKustutaI did literally laugh at loud more than once (My roommates probably think I'm a freak), but I felt the characterizations of Rarity and Pinkie Pie were just a bit overdone. I did enjoy reading this though.
VastaKustutaWow, this was just so incredibly funny, and touching, and cute, and in-character. This is a definite home-run right here.
VastaKustutaWhy? Why is this so adorable???
VastaKustutaThis was so well done! This story really made me happy and I'm soooo glad I read it.
VastaKustutaMust resist...urge to...re-read!!!
VastaKustutaon second thought, why fight the perfection that is this story, all the characters seemed so...in-character ^w^
Am I the only one who thinks it's hilariously in-character that Rarity would freak right on out at the idea of matchmaking? As in going completely crazy over the top with it to no possible end, maniacal laughter and all?
VastaKustutaI wish I could art that on up.
Kill Me.
VastaKustuta"When an eel's beady-eyed, mean and ugly and bites, that's a moraaaaaaay,"
VastaKustutaI would like to nominate this as the best line in the fic.
cliche... but hilarious!
VastaKustutaSparky! Hah...that's brilliant. Dashie needs to call Twilight Sparky in an episode!
VastaKustutaThis fic is Spectacularific!
VastaKustutaAWESOME STORY, Love how Applejack and rarity argue like a old marry couple and the bit with fluttershy and twilight were cute!
VastaKustutaAt the time I found this fic, I was skipping over all shipping fics. So when I find this one...
VastaKustutaI see the shipping tag and think "next".
My eyes read the Description anyway and I think "This could be worth a read".
Reads it. Enjoys it. Makes me wonder what I was missing skipping over other shipping fics.
Goes back to read some more of them.
Yes, this fic got me in to shipping. DANG!
I just finished with part 2. It's just so increasingly amazing I just don't know what to do. Wait, yes I do, parts 3 and 4! :)
VastaKustutaRarity: Do you understand life? DO YOU???
VastaKustutaHOLY JESUS. THE ROOM. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY SMILES
Laughing so hard I had to take frequent breaks from this heartwarming trainwreck. Their dates were so unbelievably, painfully awkward. Wynneception, you've done wonderful work with this story. You should be proud!
VastaKustutaTwilight and Fluttershy are indeed the most socially-awkward cute couple ever. This story felt truly like My Little Pony... almost as if it could be an episode. Almost.
On that note, AJ's discovery and Rarity's "Worth it" were possibly the funniest bits. Although there was a lot of competition.
Loved all the call-backs to the show.
Dash would look stylin' in a trilby.
Pinkie Pie seemed extra random. I enjoyed her fourth-wall destructions... they were just rare enough to be fun.
Many, many great lines. I loved this one particularly:
"Oh, there is is," Rarity commented without even looking. "Welcome back, darling."
I got a kick out of Fluttershy reminding herself to think of dragons! Also, winning an argument with "Thank."
Overall, this is a story I heartily enjoyed reading and definitely recommend.
Okay I started reading this at 12:30 and it is now 3:56 in the morning.
VastaKustutaAnd I don't regret losing that sleep. this piece was truly comedic and had me laughting to the best of my third-awake-state that I'm in right now. I especially enjoyed the whole thing where Pinkie Pie actually looked to the fourth wall to a very confused reader and directed a page break. Pinkie Pie was perfectly executed through and through. The others had some rough points at times but minor.
Kudos for making something so truly entertaining
NOOOO! Ummm... dead kittens, MAGGOTS! oh, old nuns, REALLY old nuns... wait DRAGONS!
VastaKustutaNever Again
VastaKustutaWow...that was a hell of a ride! Funny, funny, funny, ridiculous, a wee bit sad, and a ton of d'awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Glad that Twilight and Fluttershy managed to finally get it right in the end! Twilight's gesture was so cute. :) Moral of the story: DON'T LET YOUR FRIENDS PLAY MATCHMAKER.
VastaKustutaAbsolutely gobsmackingly good! Please, please do a RariJack sequel.
VastaKustutaOh sweet Celestia... that sexual innuendo... was hysterical.
VastaKustutaThis was brilliant. The characters were spot on, the humor genuine, and the fourth-wall breakages rare enough to still be funny. I admit when the part with the horn came up, I nearly stopped reading because of the direction I thought it was going to take things, but I continued and was rewarded by a heartwarming and, yes, humorous ending. We Need More FlutterTwi
VastaKustutaAnd we would have gotten away with it, too, if not for you meddling ponies!
VastaKustutaSorry, I just had to say that. XD
"She never thought she would see the day when Rainbow Dash dressed in style." I smell a g3 reeefeeereeeeeeeeeeence!
VastaKustutaAlso, in the sequel, I smell PinkieDash and RariJack shipping perhaps?
This was SO GOOD! The writing made me feel like it really was an episode of the show! You, my friend, got yourself a new FanGirl!
VastaKustuta