• 5 Things That Would Make Season 7 THE BEST

    As a veteran in all things MY LITTLE PONY, I obviously have the best opinions. So good in fact, that I'm going to grace you all with a tiny percentage of them today. Too many and you might be enlightened to the point of exploding. I wouldn't want that.

    Season 7 is a few months away, (or next month/cancelled/tomorrow depending on which email you read in our submit box) so I figured it would be a good time to re-visit our favorite pastime of guessing plots for the next season then crying on the inside when they never happen. Except Trixie. She happens a lot. I'm more than alright with this and ever-grateful that someone on the staff at DHX is as lost in Trixblivion as I am.

    Journey into the madness that only happens after dedicating yourself to colorful horses for 6 years below~

    The Greatest and Most Powerful Trixie and Discord ADVENTURE

    These two totally hit it off didn't they? You can see their burgeoning friendship from a mile away all throughout the finale. The Loneliest and Most Single Friended Trixie needs to spread her roots a bit just in case the whole Glimmer thing falls through, and what better companion than the self-described most powerful entity in Equestria? Not that she wants to find a way to steal his power or anything.

    Imagine an entire episode where they drive each other absolutely insane. A plot filled with snarky ass Trixie having to deal with an unexcited Discord as they journey toward a carefully designed official friendship mission that Twilight Sparkle secretly created to get them the hell out of Ponyville for a week or two.

    Embrace their weirdly strengthening relationship as they both desperately try to hide their growing appreciation for one another by erecting fortifications built of insults, and making everypony they interact with wonder what the hell these two are on and why they won't just get a room already. See the rise of a new dastardly duo as they finally arrive in Ponyville with a more than successful mission behind them and a completely bewildered Twilight at this seemingly impossible friendship.

    How's that for a letter to Celestia~ 

    Blah Blah Celestia Episode Obvious Section

    6 seasons
    6 season and we still don't really know Celestia

    What makes her tick? What is her agenda? Why is she so easily captured, disabled, or imprisoned? Was this a regular occurrence before Twilight started saving the world every few weeks? I can't imagine the 1000 years without Luna were anywhere near as tumultuous as the last six if Sunbutt hasn't already been permanently removed in some way based on how often she gets jettisoned from the throne now. Her guards must be the most useless security force in modern cartoons.

    Maybe something happened when she adopted Twilight that sapped her of her powers? It could even be the reason why she's taking on an apprentice right now to begin with. Maybe she feels her magic or life waning after all this time and needs a replacement... How dark.

    I mean, think about it. The gap of time between her failure to get Starswirl to Alicorndom and her second try with Sunset Shimmer was a thousand or more years. Obviously that initial failure left a mark. She failed again with Sunny, and wasted no time at all in picking a new one in Twilight. Is there some kind of deadline requiring a new alicorn suddenly? So far Twilight's job seems relatively pointless, or easier solved by a well trained diplomat as opposed to someone that just discovered friendship a few years ago.


    Journey to Zebrica: Starring Apple Bloom and Zecora

    There was a time way back in the early days of the show when a potentially amazing storyline was happening between Apple Bloom and Zecora. It was revisited a few times throughout the years, but never really fleshed out in a way that made a whole lot of headway as Bloom's butt symbol popped up for a completely different reason. Instead of an epic new career, she now spends her days trying to figure out what the hell it actually means. I'm talking of course about ALCHEMY!

    Think of how cool it would be if Apple Bloom was that one Apple family pony that decided to split off and chase her own destiny. Traveling the world for rare herbs, brewing mysterious potions, and saving her fellow equine from devastating afflictions via a supreme knowledge in all things botany. The stories she could tell! The apples she could avoid bucking! The bland family business you fall into when visions of grandeur fade, and world changing goals eventually die some time after the late 20's. 

    She could join Zecora on a mission to save her fellow Zebra after a hastily written note arrives via trained bateleur speaking of a terrible plague wreaking havoc on her old home. They would journey deep into the Zebrican jungle where the now revealed grandmaster alchemist coaches Bloomy on the various magical plants combinations that she will pass down to her new potion jockey in training.

    Future episodes could even revolve around Apple bloom experimenting with various concoctions, maybe even growing Scootaloo's stunted wings or getting into trouble by accidentally transmuting the wrong two herbs and unleashing a demonic mind-controlling plant beast upon Ponyville. Wouldn't that be exciting?!


    EEEEEEEEEEEeeeEEeEeE eeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEee
    EEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE eeeeeeeeeeeeEEEe
    eeeeeeEEE EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE

    Translation: As representative of the Everybat Enters Eequestria Establishment (EEEE), it has come to the attention of our esteeeemed founders that the bat pony race has been severely underrepresented in the current iteration of My Little Pony Generation four. We would like to formally request that future seasons of said cartoon program be more inclusive, not only for the sake of educating the youth on their overwhelmingly friendly neighbors of the night, but also in an attempt to better reach an understanding between the followers of the sun and attendants of the moon.

    One must simply gaze upon the wonders of Hollowshades and the magnificence of Bat Pony fashion to understand the value in assimilating thestral culture into the Eequestrian psyche. It would behoove the writers at DHX to solve this issue within the coming months as we move on into the seventh season of the show.

    Thank you for reading our request. We hope to hear from you soon.

    New Changelings Living in Equestria

    Now that these guys are all colorful and redeemed with an uncontrollable urge to... share love, how about we explore their new interactions with Equestria and it's citizens? I'm guessing hyper-colorful butterfly things might not be as scary as creepy black creatures with holes in their hooves to your every-day equine, and more than welcome to a spot in pony society as long as they don't steal existing jobs or something.

    Think of all the lonely stallions and mares out there that could really use some completely platonic love in their lives. "Cuddle" brothels would open up throughout the land, where ponies can hug out their frustrations in all sorts of perfectly safe for work ways. Friend zoned by your bestie after years of building up to that big moment of admitting your undying love for her? Thorax's House of Love has your back! Bring a picture in and spend hours in lovingly PG rated embrace with the mare you just can't quit. It's completely healthy. Drown your sorrows in whatever weird chemical Changeling love is. Also probably healthy.

    Who would be their number one customer I wonder? Would Spike's dreams finally come true via an afternoon with Rarityling? Or maybe Moon Dancer can finally get that weirdly frustrating Twilight fantasy out of her head by spending the night booping her nose repeatedly while giggling to the tune of "row row row your boat" in a pirate costume? It's not hurting anyone if they don't know about it.

    I think there is a second part to this coming due to me being too lazy to change the header image and accidentally writing seven instead of five. Hope you all enjoyed this one. Feel free to recommend other ideas for part two.