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Equestria Daily Settings

  • Story: The Brony International Guard (Update Sequel!)

    by Cereal Velocity


    [Comedy] [Random]

    Author: psychicscubadiver
    Description: Twilight is an intelligent mare, and always has something to say. But when a group of bizarre creatures shows up at her library offering life long service and devotion, for once she's at a loss for words. Which is too bad, because she'd really love to ask: what's a human and why are they so weird?
    The Brony International Guard
    The Brony Guard Unlimited (Sequel) 

    Additional Tags: If you could wouldn't you?
    Sunday, February 26, 2012 op 10:00 AM
    Labels: Author: psychicscubadiver, comedy, Complete, Fanfiction, Random, Star-5, Story, Twilight Sparkle
    Open in app
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    67 comments:

    1. BombedrumbumFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:00 AM

      I'll read it for the LOL's

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    2. Cosmic driveFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:01 AM

      Cool story bro

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    3. ZeroHeroFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:02 AM

      Agreed, Bombe. This should be good for a chuckle or too. :3

      And if i could, i probably would too. :P

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    4. Renegade the Last ShadowboltFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:02 AM

      What?
      My dreams have come true

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    5. BombedrumbumFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:04 AM

      Okay, it's convinced me- IM READING IT.

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    6. EvyaFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:04 AM

      The description actully makes me want read HiE... added to the To Be Read list:O

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    7. DPV111February 26, 2012 at 10:06 AM

      Yay, this finally got on here.

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    8. CaptainDashFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:07 AM

      Is this going to be a "What are these apes doing in my house?" kind of story?

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    9. LunaInSocksFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:08 AM

      I read this on FimFiction last week. It is bucking hilarious. Even if you don't like HiE, it's worth reading for the sheer absurdity of the situation.

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    10. MasterofRokuFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:17 AM

      Sounds interesting. I'll save this for later. I got stuff to do.

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    11. Fuzzyhead12February 26, 2012 at 10:22 AM

      Why they finished the transdimensional portal before me!!! and how they get my navigation source for ponyville , Reatarded Steeeler

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    12. VanOriFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:22 AM

      this will be my emblem from now on :D

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    13. DerpGardeFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:24 AM

      Sounds like sheer fantastic comedy. Must read!

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    14. Sir Le FlourFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:34 AM

      I would so do that~
      Now to read.

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    15. 11monkeysFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:38 AM

      Yep, I had many lols with that one.

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    16. MysteriousSpoonFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:42 AM

      I never read any fanfics, but this one made me mildly interested, I took a read and found that it was hilarious! Good job, I demand more ;3

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    17. ZabuzazminionFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:46 AM

      Loved it! thank you for that good read man.

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    18. Donkey_PotatoFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:49 AM

      Seriously guys, you won't regret reading this one, lols to be had here.

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    19. Derpy BronyFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:50 AM

      Hehe, this was a fantastic read.

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    20. MikeFebruary 26, 2012 at 10:58 AM

      Consider my curiosity piqued.

      That doesn't happen often. I haven't read a fanfic in a year.

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    21. Dr.Dͪ͊ͦḮ̘ͯS̔̐̓C̹̔Ã’͓͙̫R̀͠͞D͙̫February 26, 2012 at 11:02 AM

      lol another crazy story

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    22. NikoFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:12 AM

      Took awhile for this to get here

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    23. CaptainDashFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:14 AM

      Oh hey Look whose in the story.

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    24. PersonaFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:14 AM

      That was hilarious.

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    25. AnonymousFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM

      That was really funny hahaha, I love it!

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    26. The MungomanFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:24 AM

      I SO JELLY.
      But really, great story. Very funny concept and great execution.
      I won't say the ending wasn't a LITTLE dark, though.
      Still, a very fun read.

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    27. Sunset SprinklesFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:31 AM

      Ugh...I hate HiE...I'll read it.

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    28. AlexanderFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:40 AM

      Hahaha, this was hilarious. I eagerly await more.

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    29. ThatGuyWhoDidThatThingFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:41 AM

      Finally! This got on here! I wonder what's Seth's reaction was upon reading this...

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    30. BronyhubFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:44 AM

      I usually avoid HiE but this sounds awesome and you guys seem to like it. Off to the "to read" pile with ya!

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    31. AnonymousFebruary 26, 2012 at 11:55 AM

      This was just awesome. Absolutely awesome. It actually made me laugh out loud several times and was amusing all the way through. It was a bit disappointing to see so little of the Rainbow Dash Division, but you can't have everything.

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    32. Dr.Dͪ͊ͦḮ̘ͯS̔̐̓C̹̔Ã’͓͙̫R̀͠͞D͙̫February 26, 2012 at 12:04 PM

      of course "they" would be in this story XD

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    33. Grumpy-McfartFebruary 26, 2012 at 12:11 PM

      to anyone on the fence


      READ THIS!

      you will not regret it.

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    34. Mather MaddoxFebruary 26, 2012 at 12:16 PM

      I read this last week as well.
      FRIGGIN' AMAAAAAAZING

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    35. DragmodNotlocFebruary 26, 2012 at 12:20 PM

      awesome read, loved the ending

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    36. JRFebruary 26, 2012 at 12:21 PM

      Very funny and cute, 5 stars.

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    37. BronyheadFebruary 26, 2012 at 12:22 PM

      Brilliant, just brilliant!

      But the Twilight Division needs a few more Germans. Science and engineering is what we do best (except brewing beer). :D

      She can have me.

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    38. Jason ShadowFebruary 26, 2012 at 1:08 PM

      This is probably the best, most thought-out way for bronies to actually travel to and stay in Equestria. Quite the amusing story, too.

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    39. Papyra ScribeFebruary 26, 2012 at 1:09 PM

      So the people who comment here get considered first to go, right? lol I would be torn between the Luna and Rainbow Dash divisions. This was an awesome read, well done!

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    40. artsyfartsy1998February 26, 2012 at 1:37 PM

      The Fluttershy division was SO WONDERFUL!! And I'd definitely choose the Pinkie division.

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    41. rbwhiffetFebruary 26, 2012 at 1:38 PM

      To the MOOOOOOOOOON!! Heh.

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    42. BronyBlobFebruary 26, 2012 at 1:47 PM

      Lyra subgroup, oh yeah

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    43. SlevacFebruary 26, 2012 at 1:49 PM

      I would go, and totally be in Luna Division. I REALLY like her mane. LOL

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    44. TrippnFebruary 26, 2012 at 1:55 PM

      That sounds hilarious think I'm gonna give it a read.

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    45. garturo62February 26, 2012 at 2:20 PM

      Lol it's a good story I lmao at trollestia

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    46. acsinclairFebruary 26, 2012 at 2:30 PM

      This was so brilliant. Thank you, just thank you. I so so so hope there's going to be more. This read like the perfect pilot to a much larger series. Made my day.

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    47. 3p1c_d3m0nFebruary 26, 2012 at 3:08 PM

      Why did it have to end?

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    48. UnknownFebruary 26, 2012 at 3:09 PM

      TROLOLOLOLOLOL
      well the ending should have been expected.

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    49. Fuzzyhead12February 26, 2012 at 3:21 PM

      ok that ending did i expected, and seththisto is the Twilight follower? i thought he like trixi moar.

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    50. TrippnFebruary 26, 2012 at 4:06 PM

      That ending was good.

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    51. David L. ShererFebruary 26, 2012 at 4:07 PM

      "But as Pinkie saw Twilight her face brightened, losing its haughty expression. “Hey Twilight! We’re playing a game! Do you want to join in? You could be the royal magician protecting the queen of sweets from the terrible machinations of tooth decay and other villains."

      TAKE MY STARS! ALL OF THEM!

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    52. ArdashirFebruary 26, 2012 at 4:10 PM

      So humans go to Equestria and Dashie, Pinkie, and Rarity promptly go mad with power.

      And dare we ask what will become of Trixie's loyal minions?

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    53. OMGitzTom1February 26, 2012 at 4:13 PM

      The division leader checked the list again. “Item number thirty-four.”

      “Refresh my memory.”

      “We will not, and I quote, ‘Help you get your groove on with Rarity’.”


      iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

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    54. Stormy SeasFebruary 26, 2012 at 5:08 PM

      Hilarious! Loved every moment. This is the kind of story HiE fics should strive to be like.

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    55. HexplosionFebruary 26, 2012 at 5:12 PM

      I understand that this is just supposed to be a funny story, but I can't help but be creeped out by this. There are enough of you that enjoy Cupcakes and plot pics, not to mention the fact that I know for fact that some of you would willing partake in something half baked like this, gives it an eerie vibe.

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    56. Winter StormFebruary 26, 2012 at 6:09 PM

      Yes! Read this on FIMFiction, I knew it would make it to EqD!

      Poor, poor Celestia Division. Its gonna get mighty cold on the moon.

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    57. Luna360February 26, 2012 at 7:33 PM

      Our flag has been formed my brothers and sisters of the herd.

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    58. SeraphemFebruary 26, 2012 at 7:54 PM

      That, was bucking hilarious, pleasepleaseplease write a sequel/continuation.

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    59. SeraphemFebruary 26, 2012 at 7:57 PM

      That, was bucking hilarious, pleasepleaseplease write a sequel/continuation.

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    60. gigitygoogFebruary 26, 2012 at 8:48 PM

      Imagine if he had said princess molestia lol

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    61. EPHorizonFebruary 27, 2012 at 12:24 AM

      I feel obligated to read this for some reason.

      And if I'm being honest, I'd probably pledge lifelong servitude so long as I got to live in a perfectly canon world. Hell, that's true for most Disney-like worlds. Everything's colorful and you can solve all problems using friendship? Count me in.

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    62. anzulFebruary 28, 2012 at 8:05 AM

      pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
      make a sequel!!!!!!!!!!
      make this a long big-ass series!!!!!!!!!

      seriously, this was cute, awesome, interesting, funny and a lot of good things! :D

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    63. MarioMaster9664February 28, 2012 at 1:31 PM

      @Fuzzyhead12 It was explained that the B.I.G.'s leader (who can be assumed to be Sethisto) wanted to be in the Trixie division, but the others convinced him to stay in Ponyville so he joined the Twilight division.

      As for the story, I was intrigued enough to insta-read this and I loved it! I was laughing a lot throughout and I loved how Seth and Cereal are in it. I wonder if they know they're in here, and if so, what they think of it.

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    64. Nova25February 29, 2012 at 4:49 PM

      >“Eskimo ponies are mighty cold.”
      -‘’Eskimo’’ ponies, you say ? ...which would be, like, kinda-extra fluffy to better resist the cold climate ? ;) ... :D : http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyri30jRKg1rodjx7o1_500.png

      >“Uh, hey Twilight?”
      >there’s a group of … creatures on the front lawn.”
      -Oh no, those are humans ! Quick Spike, use the insecticide before there’s an epidemic !

      >“Ponyville goes through a different crisis every other week. Can’t I sit one out for once?”
      -Well, this starts good. Twilight with a light, yet interesting sense of humor. :)

      >and yes, we can speak your language.”
      -Aliens always can perfectly speak English, when we encounter them, so why not ponies from another dimension ? ;) (Any speak French there, by any chance ?)

      >Until a triumphant voice in the crowd broke it. “Aha! Told you they were real, Bon-bon! Who’s the crazy pony now?”
      -Ahh, Lyra... You can bet she’s gonna LOVE this situation... and their opposable thumbs.

      >These creatures are crazy, and if anypony knows crazy, it’s Pinkie Pie.
      -She even wrote a thesis on the subject. It was written in chocolate milk.

      >“Yes o’ sugary one.” They shouted in return, their expressions amused.
      -Heh. This is quite silly and funny at the same time. ;)

      >You could be the royal magician protecting the queen of sweets from the terrible machinations of tooth decay
      -That’s Colgate’s role, obviously ;).

      >Their small, revealing shirts made Twilight confident they were females. The upper abdomen was an odd place for udders
      -Oh wow... even if I knew a joke like that was coming, that’s still quite awkward... yet funny, yes. ;)

      >The horrible gelatinous blob hissed as the humans darted closer forward
      >“there’s a reason I said not to mess with anything in Twilight’s lab.”
      -Twilight has her own trans-dimensional portal ? Does it led to the 666 layers of the Abyss (D&d) ?

      >our hands, especially our opposable thumbs, let us manipulate tools and objects with precision.
      -Hurray, for our opposable thumbs. ;)

      >most of us are from America, but there’s a few Brits and Canucks mixed in.
      -Huh... what about the load of Europeans (and Russians, etc) ?
      Also, «"Canuck" : slang term for Canadians. Its origins are uncertain.»... Uncertain you bet ! I (and anyone I’m asking) never heard that word in my entire life... and I live there.

      >Until now they'd just acted like two-dimensional characters, and annoying ones at that.
      -Well ? Twilight is awfully fast to judge, isn’t she ?

      >Your team is all scholars, mostly science majors.
      -I’m surprised that Twilight didn’t instantly ‘perked up’ after hearing this.

      >The B.I.G. has more than enough to pay for all the extra animals.
      -Huh, wait... Didn’t one of the groups’ leader say they were ALL doing stuff ‘for free’ (or something like that), no ?

      >“All the finances are being handled by the Rarity division.
      -I bet this division’s leader is one of those fancy/eccentric multi-billionaire(or just millionaire) guy ;).

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    65. Nova25February 29, 2012 at 4:49 PM

      @Nova25
      >They brought back several gems. We sold those and used the funds
      -Owww... No fancy eccentric rich person financing the operation ? That would have been interesting...

      >“You’re welcome,” called the division leader as she left. “Oh, and my name’s Cereal−”
      -Ahh... I see ;). I suppose the leader of Trixie’s group is Set--...

      >And as for my name? You can call me Seth.”
      -Wait ? ...huh, it’s because of what the guy at Fluttershy’s cottage said, right ? That he’s not with Trixie, right now ?

      >He sighed again, staring morosely at the lunar landscape. Yeah, that did not go as planned.
      -Celestia ‘THAT’ much of an angry pony, seriously...

      Also : Owww... Finished already ? Well, let’s see when the next-..
      >Labels: Complete
      -NOOOOOOoooooooo !

      -----

      It was a quite a silly, but also funny story... with a good number of cute and also rather ‘awkward’ moments.
      Certainly one of the best, if not THE best story about ‘humans in Equestria’ in those last few months (that I have read, between the many stories I read).

      I somewhat hope this isn’t really a 1-time only story... would be interesting to have the author’s answer about that ?
      There’s SO MANY things left hanging and/or unresolved, that would make for a very suitable continuation. I’m sure many would agree.

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    66. Nova25February 29, 2012 at 5:01 PM

      Also... Mmh... If I had to chose ONE(1) group, which one would it be ?

      ''Mmm'', indeed... If for 'real', this question becomes harder to answer...
      Some hesitations between 'Pinky Pie', 'Twilight Sparkle' and 'Luna', honestly.
      Would probably be on rotation, between the 3 of them.

      And, about ''time''...
      >Additional Tags: If you could wouldn't you?
      -Again, harder to anwser.
      Most probably be a ''vacation''-like thing... Like, going only during Summer, and during the Holidays, you know ?

      Also #3... So many thoughts and theories about the 'Future' of those groups and stuff and etc... Quite interesting to actually think and theorize about stuff.

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    67. EvyaMarch 3, 2012 at 4:13 AM

      The premise was interesting enough to make me read HiE, and the story did deliver!

      I feel there should have been a few smaller divisions(maybe instead of 25 in Trixie one, 5 each) for the few other ponies we hold high like Lyra, BonBon, Vinyl and Octavia for example... argh this needs a sequal!

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