[Normal] I'm... not really sure how to pronounce that title. Cuh-pree-zee? Iono.
Author: Heliopause
Description: Rarity is unprepared when success comes from an unexpected source.Easy Come, Caprese Go
Additional Tags: Episode style, Slice of Life
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55 comments:
First to read it thorugh
ReplyDeleteFOR THE NEW PHOE REPUBLIC
ReplyDeleteI, for one, welcome our new Phoe overlord.
ReplyDeleteDOWN WITH SETHISTO'S TYRANNY
ReplyDeleteI was wrong.
ReplyDeleteMy body was unprepaired.
Im liking this new setup!
ReplyDelete@Lord Bloomberg
ReplyDeleteI quite like Sethistian Tyranny, its not not being the tyrant for once.
Anyway this looks interetsing, will give it a bit later.
Hail Princess Phoe!
ReplyDeleteuh, guys, I think I'll throw my lot in with Seth.
ReplyDeleteAnyone else just want to 5* this because Phoe posted it?
ReplyDelete@Desert Rose
ReplyDeleteyes
Phoe, is it your birthday?
ReplyDeleteAnd so the great divide ripped apart the land of Equestria Daily as the Phoe Republic rose up against the Sethestian Empire.
ReplyDeleteIt's a very good story.
ReplyDeleteThanks for submitting this Helio. It made my day when a sweet, lovable story finally made it to my inbox. More like this!
@Desert Rose
ReplyDeleteand
@kelzae
Really? Seriously? *face hoof*
I am now reminded why I never have anything to read later in the day, I always cave and read it immediatly.
ReplyDelete*spoilers*
This was a really good read and very enjoyable. The characterisation was almost spot on, it was funny thoughout and did a very good job of feeling episodic.
The CMC (Cutie Mark Crusader caprese makers, yay) and Applejack being honest but a bit stubborn were brilliant.
I thought Button down made a good rival for Rarity and I Really liked the end, it was very fitting and he really deserved that for what he did.
Certainly worth reading, I really liked it.
You are not prepared.
ReplyDeleteAll hail the new phoe reublic her blog posts shalll shake the very foundations of the Internet to there core And tear asunder the skies of equestria and the sethistian kingdom will fall with a wimper into the abis of forgotten souls THIS IS PHOEQUESTRIA!! ...if that's ok with you that is...
ReplyDeleteNormal tag? Just normal? Praise be to Phoe, this is exactly what I wanted!
ReplyDelete@Kits @Celestia
ReplyDeleteThanks! There's a link to my first fic at the end of this story, and I'm working on number 3...
Good story, but a tad predictable. (Also a bit dark)
ReplyDeleteI think it's only predictable because I can see common traces of thought for the plot to travel along. Right on down to the obvious conclusion.
I can honestly see a sequel being easily made because of the ending.
You spelled and used "jerry rigged" correctly! Yay!
ReplyDeleteThis was a good story, and enjoyable read.
@Muffinsforever
ReplyDeleteI knew Illidan Stormrage, and you, sir, are no Illidan Stormrage!
@Heliopause
ReplyDeleteI've actually already read it though I didn't realise it was you who had written it and I forgot to comment. I liked it as well, your episodic style is very good.
Though I wouldn't banish Twilight to the moon, it would give Blueblood some company.
Phoe Republic?
ReplyDeleteSethistian Empire?
Let's have some love for the Velocity Democracy.
Libero Cum Velocitate.
I think my experiment with enabling Google Docs comments has failed. I can't access the document any more, it keeps timing out.
ReplyDelete@Heliopause
ReplyDeleteIt still works for me though is there any way to disable seeing the comments?
That dratted highlight and their placement makes them very dstracting.
When I reload the page, it comes up in read-only mode, and all the comments are hidden
ReplyDelete@LCDRformat
ReplyDeleteNever, all my love is for Rainbow Dash and Phoe... at this moment.
@Heliopause
ReplyDeleteAh, I didn't realise it was in edit, it hadn't been till I refreshed it.
cuh PRAYT zay, if I remember my Top Chef lingo correctly.
ReplyDeleteA Phoe fanfiction, i am so reading this even though i should be sleeping now
ReplyDeletewe now need to see a PICTURE of these "Caprese" things on a pony.
ReplyDeleteI tried Google image search--- but only got a bunch of images of salad, for some reason.
Wonderful story. The writing is admirably tight, though I admit I would perhaps have liked a bit more pathos from Rarity when she was down. I'd say her characterization could have used a touch more melodrama, more hamminess.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the ending does come off as... rather dark. <_<
"Caprese" is a real word, but as you found out it's mainly used to describe a kind of salad. The caprese outfit is something I invented for the story.
ReplyDelete@BornIn1142
ReplyDeleteOne thing I didn't like in the recent Lesson Zero was how dumb Rarity looked; she was used mainly as a running gag. I prefer episodes that show her intelligence like Suited for Success and Dog and Pony Show.
I agree about the ending, and worried about it a bit, but comments seem to be 50/50 between "too dark" and "awesome!"
Some bronies seem to think Phoe personally selected my fanfic to post. I don't think that's the case, is it, Phoe? It just happened to be at the top of the queue...
ReplyDelete@Heliopause
ReplyDeleteWell I did enjoy it, but the real reason it's posted is because it was ready to go up and the slot was available.
Thanks, Phoe, that's what I thought. I didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression.
ReplyDeleteI like this system. I hope that every new fanfic on Google Docs enables comments.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic read! I'm not too sure about Applejack's part in the story though... Would she really be so manipulative as to utilize the gullibility of children for her own goals?
ReplyDeleteI loved how resolute Rarity was in the second half.
Hey,
ReplyDeleteCackle. It's fantastic. Sweet Apple Acres Sweatshops... tee-hee. Poor half-crazed Rarity, with shades of the 'Suited for Sucess' episode. The comments are pretty funny at the meta-level, too.
JMH
@Spikely Whiplash
ReplyDeleteThe comment system has been fun for me, too. This story went through many revisions and pre-readers, but you guys still caught stuff nopony else did. And I liked the feedback on which sections were unclear or off character.
It got overloaded pretty quickly, though. I tried to respond and resolve comments as quickly as I could, but I got locked out at one point. I think only 50 people can have comments enabled at a time.
It's a solid episode fic. If you enjoy A Dog and Pony Show and Art of the Dress, this episode will probably stick with you. If you think the CMC are a blast to have around, this fic'll probably get a laugh out of you.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not into any of those things in particular, but want an episode fic to spend 45 minutes with, this'll do well enough to scratch that itch. Worth reading.
Ha. I called it an episode. I meant fic. Naturally.
ReplyDelete@Retl
ReplyDeleteBest. Possible. Compliment.
I must say that I liked the story, It was entertaining and believable.
ReplyDeletethe ending however rubbed me the wrong way due to the fact that rarity essentially tricked somepony into becoming a slave.
This is made even worse by the fact that from his behaviour I at first thought that he would have sent some of his earth pony workers to check it out instead of going himself, thus making the victim someone whose only crime was (possible unknowingly) working for a jerk and a plagiarist.Also I found the jerk mostly
now even through my complaint is larger than the rest of my comment, I would like to stress that I still liked the overall story.
All this Phoe taking over stuff is fun, but I regret that it is invading the comments on this.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good read. It's very episodic. Maybe a bit predictable, but not in a bad way. It's the same kind of predictable that MLP;FiM episodes have.
Why does Rarity get so many one-shot stories? And why are they all so great?
Great story! Very episode-like. Poor Rarity!
ReplyDeleteFor the Cerealvelocitian communist party
ReplyDeleteOh they'll rescue him in a day or two.
ReplyDeleteAssuming they NEED to... remember, these are the diamond dog morons who got put through a "Ransom of Red Chief" by RARITY of all ponies...
Okay, the thing that kind of rubbed ME the wrong way is Rarity's reaction to "commoners" glomming onto her Capreses and making them a fashion hit. First off, Even RARITY has to be aware that this was gross snobbery.... and I would have expected either Rainbow Dash or Applejack, at least, to get mad at her for looking down on other ponies like that. So what, she's afraid their "commoner-ness" will rub off on her if they wear her capreses? Even though she finally adopted the capreses at the end, she (and the other fashionistas) never got called on it.
ReplyDeleteSo How fashionable something is can be measured by how few of a rare elite would actually ever wear it? By that logic, Princess Celestia's ratty old bunny slippers are the ultimate pinnacle of haute couture. That's hipster logic; it's only good if nobody's ever heard of it or even likes it. And hipsters make me want to punch them in the face.
A wondefull story, it definitely gives off a vibe like the show.
ReplyDeleteRarity's revenge on her rival was sweet but a bit Dark for my liking, but that maybe because I know he lacks Rarity's whine powers.
Overall very awesome.
A firmly enjoyable read, even if it conflicts with my headcanon for Rarity. (I figure that even if it's not her personal taste, she still appreciates the value of simplicity and elegance, and understands that the best designs integrate both form and function. She's Steve Jobs!)
ReplyDeleteI liked it. Very much so.
ReplyDelete