Author: GreatSnapper
Description: Things between Celestia and Luna are getting worse than ever, with both Princesses unable to reconcile their guilt over the events surrounding Luna's banishment. With the leadership of Equestria fraying, outside forces long forgotten by the subjects of the sun and moon take the opportunity to settle an old score.Natural Order Part 1
Natural Order Part 2
Natural Order Part 3
Natural Order Part 4
Natural Order Part 5
Natural Order Part 6
Natural Order Part 7
Natural Order Part 8 (New!)
Additional Tags: Long, Conflict, Siblings, Rivalry, OC Ponies
39 comments:
Very ominous ending...needs moar chapter.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see a continuation of this. The premise seems moderately original, and NMM is an interesting force here.
ReplyDeleteYES! Original concept! Equestria is not the only country on the pony planet ruled by alicorn deities. I find this idea of divine political tension to be very tantalizing.
ReplyDeleteGreat start. Looking foward to more.
ReplyDeleteI love the story so far. The addition of the winter alicorn kind of made me weary to continue at first but as I read until the end I kind of enjoyed her more.
ReplyDelete*agrees with Moon Shine*
ReplyDeleteThe presence of another Alicorn is sort of a warning bell, but this seems to be rolling well. I'm interested to see how it plays out.
Seriously can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteThis story should have more comments than it has. Solid OC entries. The four seasonal alicorns is a nice touch.
ReplyDelete*snicker*
ReplyDeletePears... Funny what makes you crack up late at night.
Paer 2?
ReplyDeleteSethisto is such a silly pony.
seth...
ReplyDeletego to bed xD
Seth man, you gotta get some shut-eye...
ReplyDeleteSeth, go home and be a familiy man.
ReplyDeleteGet some sleep. :)
Reminds me of the time Cereal broke the blog and a picture escaped the frame. Paer 2 indeed.
ReplyDeletePaer 2! Just what I've been... wait...
ReplyDeletelol Paer 2
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to new installments, because I like where this seems to be heading... Also a fan of the idea of more alicorns around, but each with different responsibilities is a clever touch. :)
ReplyDeleteahhh yaaaaay.
ReplyDeleteI'd missed this story on my search thru the archives, solid read.
ReplyDeleteNice that you're working with the idea of the seasons being controlled by some power, I've only ever seen that used very briefly before in a rather short story. Something of note though, Aurora questioned the idea of someone being able to control the sun and moon but why didn't Snow Drift think of the year before? When Nightmare Moon came back, it was before dawn and she made it so the night was twice as long, surely the ponies of these other nations noticed something like that.
ReplyDeleteHmph, Winter Chill seems to be blinded by revenge since she seems to not acknowledge the fact that they've been playing on the Celestia's remorse and love for her sister which she shouldn't have if her allegations were correct. Unless of course Dead Leaves has been funneling misinformation about the state of Celestia's feelings and thoughts.
Where is the Summer alicorn?
ReplyDelete@Specter Von Baren
ReplyDeleteI went back and watched the first couple episodes again after I read your post. I had forgotten that Nightmare Moon had extended the night. The way i had remembered it the whole thing took place the night before the Summer Sun Celebration, so I goofed there. I wonder if it lasted all day and the next night too, or if Equestria just has a different day/night cycle now, since Celestia raised the sun at the end of the episode.
I need to find someone to pre-read this thing, since I can't really tell when I'm making mistakes like this.
As for Winter Chill, she has had a long time to brood on what happened and for her memories of the events to become twisted. Whatever her motivations may be she feels justified. Also, she wouldn't want Snow Drift to see her as the villain.
@Kitty Kat
Summer will show up eventually. Her part hasn't started yet.
Thanks to everyone who has read so far!
This story doesn't get near the attention it deserves. After past sins, it's my favorite in progress one.
ReplyDelete@GreatSnapper
ReplyDeleteI'd be willing to lend a hand in the regard of pre-reading. I'd love to be able to give you input and fix any small errors for ya.
@Specter Von Baren
ReplyDeleteThat would be super helpful! I'm working on part four at the moment so the timing is good.
@GreatSnapper
ReplyDeleteJust E-mail me the link for editing and I'll get on it when you're ready for me.
Okay, I'll need your e-mail though (unless it's listed in your profile somewhere and I'm just blind).
ReplyDeleteYou can pm me on my fanfiction.net or deviantart accounts if you like, I'm GreatSnapper on both of those as well.
@GreatSnapper
ReplyDelete[email protected]
Aww man, now you have me on the edge of my seat!
ReplyDeleteHeh, literal cliffhanger, nice.
*sigh* A shame that more people haven't commented.
ReplyDeleteOoh, this is shaping out to be pretty good. My guess is that Dead Leaves is somehow related to what's been going on with NMM, but I'll probably end up being wrong. :P
ReplyDeletethis is so great, cant wait for Part 6!
ReplyDeleteHhm... you didn't send the fix to me to look over before posting. Did ya forget?
ReplyDeleteI did in fact. I haven't updated in like two months and sort of forgot. I'm working on the next chapter at the moment though so you'll be getting that one, since it looks like you are still following it. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent so far. Looking forward to new chapters, keep going sir!
ReplyDeletei would very much like to read more of this, any word on when next update might be
ReplyDeleteIt becomes nicer chapter after chapter ! The OCs are quite nice, even though I don't like the idea of other unicorns (and the evil manipulation of the two sisters, they have enough struggle to bear with, already !).
ReplyDeleteBut the all things work pretty well alltogether and the OC ponies are nice, as I said.
I hope for more frequently updates !
Merry christmas !
Y U NO UPDATE FASTER!?
ReplyDeleteI heard a rumor and I hope it's just that but did this fic get dropped? I really enjoy this one a lot. apologies for never posting here =(
ReplyDeleteAnyways I'm am still much eagerly awaiting the next chapter in this OCliscious fic <3