[Normal]
Author: StarswirltheBearded
Description: The legendary Starswirl the Bearded and his assistant Auburn investigate the disappearance of ponies in Ponyville. In their pursuit, they discover the danger of power.Obscure Unicorn History: Starswirl and the Magus Magnus
Additional Tags: Magic, history, adventure, serious, descriptive.
[Normal] Story 2 (New!)
Description: One of Starswirl's earliest adventures. Starswirl joins forces with the venerable Princess Luna to discover the source of a strange affliction that is spreading across Equestria.Obscure Unicorn History: Starswirl and the Lunar Princess
Additional Tags: Historical, Action, Adventure, Serious, Tense.
11 comments:
I've been waiting for something like this.
ReplyDeleteA story with Starswirl the Bearded? Sounds like fun! :D
ReplyDeleteMagnus? :D Just like...sorry, sorry couldn't help myself.
ReplyDeleteliked
ReplyDeleteI just realized the author is Starswirlthebearded.
ReplyDeleteThat's bucking awesome.
A story about Starswirl the Bearded written by StarswirltheBearded? Ponyception.
ReplyDeleteWill read as soon as I finish Combinatorics, I'm on last section.
STARSWIRL IS BEST PONY!
ReplyDelete(This comment is full of SPOILERS):
ReplyDeleteI'm not usually a fan of stories where the moral is "Some things are better off left unknown"--to me, willful forgetting/refusal to learn seems less like an exercise in responsibility than a willful abdication thereof. Nevertheless, the writing here was good; sedately paced but rarely dull, it really did feel like a history book which had been adapted for casual readers.
There were some pretty significant plot holes, however. The biggest one was Starswirl's offer to battle Magus to the death, in exchange for the latter letting Auburn and all the prisoners go. I have no idea why Magus didn't just say no and then battle Starswirl anyway. I mean, they're trapped, aren't they? And they have no means of rescuing the prisoners on their own. Just what could Magus possibly gain by accepting this offer?
Now, it's possible Magus was willing to accept because he just didn't care; after all, he was about to ascend to becoming a being of pure energy, and he probably felt it really didn't matter whether or not word of what he was doing leaked out after that point. But Starswirl and Auburn didn't know any of that, so why would they make the offer in the first place? Why would they think he would accept? They're asking him to make what they perceive as a major concession, and in exchange they're essentially offering nothing.
There were other things that were similarly glossed over. I've reread the description of the climactic battle twice, for example, but I still don't understand how Starswirl won. Could any sort of energy attack have simply destroyed Magus at that point? If so, it seems like Celestia's fear that ponies will delve too deeply into the secrets of magic are overstated, since it would appear to make them vulnerable to unavoidable destruction by any unicorn more powerful than Snips and Snails. If there was something else going on, I couldn't find it in the text.
Overall I'd say I enjoyed the story, but in the future you might want to take especial care make sure your writing doesn't skip over explanations and motivations which, while they may be obvious to you, are not to the reader.
Why do all significant historical events seem to occur in that town? You would think at least one would occur in, or at least near somewhere important...
ReplyDeleteI like the new story even better than the last! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I found this new story disappointing. I recall the first as a comedic epic with excellent characters. This features none of that. The writing is dry, rushed and relies too much on telling. It diverges from canon (Ponyville is only as old as Granny Smith, while Star Swirl lived before Equestria was founded). The story is over before it gets up a head of steam, and I find myself scratching my head at mention of a statue. I think that's supposed to be Discord, but I don't recall having read anything about it previously. Maybe I missed something.
ReplyDeleteThis is 3 stars at best. I hope if you do another of these, you'll take the tack set out in the original.