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Equestria Daily Settings

  • Story: Doing the Nasty

    by Sethisto

    [Shipping] [Grim] [Random] [Crossover]

    Author: Present Perfect
    Description: Nightmare Moon and Discord have at long last achieved together what they could not do alone: defeating Celestia and conquering all of Equestria. Now that victory is at hand, might their professional relationship become something more? Rated GRIM for discussion of off-screen conquest and pony corruption.
    Doing the Nasty

    Additional Tags: They Totally Do It, Guys
    Monday, October 3, 2011 op 8:00 PM
    Labels: Author: Present Perfect, Complete, Crossover, Discord, Fanfiction, Grimdark, Luna, Nightmare Moon, Random, Shipping, Star-4, Story
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    90 comments:

    1. LazOctober 3, 2011 at 8:00 PM

      what...

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    2. IncorporatedstatesOctober 3, 2011 at 8:00 PM

      Gotta love dem tags.

      Faust?

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    3. Pedro B.October 3, 2011 at 8:01 PM

      Wait WHAT

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    4. DaffodilOctober 3, 2011 at 8:02 PM

      Just read it. You'll understand.

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    5. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 8:03 PM

      So it's grim...but not dark?

      ...I see.

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    6. Videogame9October 3, 2011 at 8:03 PM

      "They Totally Do It, Guys"

      IT'S PERFECTLY FINE, PEOPLE. MOVE ALONG.

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    7. ToonNinjaOctober 3, 2011 at 8:03 PM

      I'm not sure how to respond to this... I may just have to read this.

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    8. GraffyHoovesOctober 3, 2011 at 8:05 PM

      My interest has been peaked.

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    9. DerpmindOctober 3, 2011 at 8:07 PM

      WHAT. what. WHATWHATWAHT. wat. ?????????

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    10. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:08 PM

      Crossover.... Of what, exactly?

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    11. RaefireOctober 3, 2011 at 8:08 PM

      Frak! Someone got to it before me! Dammit...

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    12. Aquaman52October 3, 2011 at 8:08 PM

      *gets popcorn*

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    13. Videogame9October 3, 2011 at 8:09 PM

      @Videogame9 I read it, and yes, they do totally do it.

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    14. UnknownOctober 3, 2011 at 8:09 PM

      What is this, i don't even.

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    15. HanselOctober 3, 2011 at 8:10 PM

      @s That's what I wanna know, I will almost never read a crossover unless if it is with one of my favorite games.

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    16. Videogame9October 3, 2011 at 8:12 PM

      @commanche105996 They do it. Totally, guys.

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    17. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:12 PM

      @Jelfes It's probably some television show I care nothing for. You watch.

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    18. Freeze FrameOctober 3, 2011 at 8:12 PM

      @Jelfes, A crossover between S2/S1? Or perhaps a crossover with Star Trek: TNG, because Discord was even more Q-like in this. "You wound me!"

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    19. tectobotOctober 3, 2011 at 8:13 PM

      I... don't know what to say.

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    20. MattatattaOctober 3, 2011 at 8:15 PM

      >They totally do it, guys

      Well thanks for saving me from reading the story, toodles!

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    21. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:16 PM

      Wait, if they do it...... Does that mean.... I mean, does Discord even-


      What I'm trying to say here is, does Nightmare Moon deem Doscord sponge worthy? If not, they do it, and....?

      Little Distort Sphere?

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    22. bronydashOctober 3, 2011 at 8:18 PM

      Wtf... just wtf...

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    23. TenchiFreak5October 3, 2011 at 8:18 PM

      I feel obligated to read this for some reason.

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    24. BlackbeltOctober 3, 2011 at 8:20 PM

      .......oh, poor Nightmare.….....

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    25. RaefireOctober 3, 2011 at 8:22 PM

      That was very amusing. Well done!

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    26. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:22 PM

      @Blackbelt Poor Nightmare? POOR NIGHTMARE? This isn't Past Sins, you're not allowed to sympathize with her!

      What if Discord isn't sponge worthy?!? WHAT IF DISCORD ISN'T SPONGE WORTHY?!?

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    27. tectobotOctober 3, 2011 at 8:24 PM

      ...sponge???

      I... I didn't read the whole thing... I just skipped the middle...

      Crap, now I need to read it.

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    28. Party FavorsOctober 3, 2011 at 8:25 PM

      I shouldn't read this. The concept itself is just... Gah. I get the feeling I'd hate this.

      But at the same time, I've just got to know...

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    29. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:26 PM

      @tectobot /Seinfeld joke.

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    30. GraffyHoovesOctober 3, 2011 at 8:27 PM

      Not what i expected. However the whole SPOILER "it was all a dream" Cliche takes away from the story. Granted I don't know how else this could have gone. All in all a great little mini fic.

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    31. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 8:28 PM

      Read it! And it does deserve a comedy tag. Don't take it seriously.

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    32. cursormortisOctober 3, 2011 at 8:29 PM

      Discord was very Discord-y. This definitely had all the amusing bits I loved about his character. I'd like to know how exactly he corrupted Twilight into working with him, but I suspect that's another story for another day.

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    33. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 8:29 PM

      THEY NEVER ACTUALLY DID IT

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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    34. IantineOctober 3, 2011 at 8:29 PM

      Wierdness like this is why I don't browse ED in no fanfiction mode.

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    35. Party FavorsOctober 3, 2011 at 8:31 PM

      OK. Much better than I was expecting. Probably needs a comedy tag by the random.

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    36. Royal Guard TictacOctober 3, 2011 at 8:33 PM

      The end conversation is what makes this entire story

      Slight Spoiler

      In my mind all I can hear is Nightmare moon going
      "The fuck was that Luna?"

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    37. SpitszsOctober 3, 2011 at 8:36 PM

      They so totally did it...

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    38. IntegraOctober 3, 2011 at 8:37 PM

      That was amazing. Thank you.

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    39. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:37 PM

      Okay, so I read it and....

      IS HE OR NOT?

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    40. Dusty the Royal JanitorOctober 3, 2011 at 8:45 PM

      (This comment carries a Spoiler Alert)

      God DAMN that was weird.
      It wasn't bad by any means, save for the slightly sketchy use of the "it was all a dream" cliche, but overall it was just more weird.

      Which DOESN'T mean it wasn't enjoyable. Honestly, while I think it may deserve the "grim" tag, you're right, this isn't very dark. It's too short and too nonspecific when those sorts of things are mentioned to ever get very "dark" or in any way upsetting.

      Actually, I really liked the way that Nightmare Moon and Discord played off of each other... before they... *ahem* did it. Which was an interesting way to go about it, really. How on earth did Draquonaquis ever function if they knew they could be essentially raped and impregnated... FROM A DISTANCE. Weird.

      But I liked how NMM and Discord played off each other. I wish there had been a little more than that.

      I'd give it 3.5/5, but the stars here are silly so I'll give it a 4.

      (/spoiler)

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    41. RamillOctober 3, 2011 at 8:47 PM

      You need to have watched Star Trek Voyager to recognize the crossover aspect.

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    42. PresspassOctober 3, 2011 at 8:47 PM

      This is ridiculous. Completely, utterly, ridraquonaquinoculous.

      5 stars.

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    43. I AM A BRONY AND DAM PROUDOctober 3, 2011 at 8:49 PM

      YUP ITS OFFICIAL FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS WE BRONIES WILL SHIP ANYTHING..... AND I LOVE THEM FOR IT

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    44. HanselOctober 3, 2011 at 8:51 PM

      Well... I read it, though I'm not quite sure what it is. They certainly, "did it," there were no lies there. I will give it a 4/5, I saw one blatant spelling mistake and that's enough for me to downgrade my vote for a fic like this.

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    45. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 8:54 PM

      That was... an odd little story. 'Grim' is probably too strong a term; it's more of a dark comedy for the first two-thirds of the story. And don't worry about the two leads "doing it"; this isn't a "clopfic". I enjoyed the interplay between Nightmare Moon and Discord; the ending, while using one of the hoariest cliches known, was at least satisfactory, and had its own little pleasures.

      @s
      "Is he or not" what?

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    46. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:54 PM

      @Dusty the Royal Janitor I feel the sketchy scene at the end added to the story. The whole 'Nightmare Moon is kept at bay by Luna's wet dreams' thing is pretty funny on it's own, but add the fact that Luna does this unintentionally.... Plus she apologizes to Nightmare for her Nightmare's nightmare. NIGHTMARECEPTION

      Also, Faust says it's 'Draconequus'.

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    47. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 8:55 PM

      @jodyjim13 Does that count as Nightmare deeming Discord sponge worthy or not?

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    48. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 8:59 PM

      Do they do it, though?

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    49. DiscordOctober 3, 2011 at 9:02 PM

      I DID WHAT WITH WHO.

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    50. MoochOctober 3, 2011 at 9:03 PM

      Yea, they totally did it, so much detail!

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    51. EquestriaBoundOctober 3, 2011 at 9:10 PM

      @Discord IT WILL BE CLEAR IN A FEW MINUTES

      .....Or not. (Trolololol)

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    52. WhitbaneOctober 3, 2011 at 9:13 PM

      ...
      ...
      ...
      *Clicks link*.

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    53. Sanguine333October 3, 2011 at 9:21 PM

      Woah good at first I thought they were gonna like descriptively do it and was like "oh gawd pony pr0nz is bad enough now this!? Ewwwwww!" but lol discord has some kind of superior super sex that cannot be comprehended

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    54. WhitbaneOctober 3, 2011 at 9:23 PM

      Super, super Discord intercourse.
      Sweet Christ, what the hell did I just read?
      What...?
      Did they just... and he... and she...?
      I'm thoroughly confused.

      Still funny as hell, though.

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    55. lainofthewiredOctober 3, 2011 at 9:26 PM

      Oh, man first Pony/Griffon season, and now this?! What an awesome evening XD Yes, this is a ST Voyager joke, and very well done!

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    56. Cold in GardezOctober 3, 2011 at 9:27 PM

      Very well written, excellent job with this one.

      Sometimes the short fics are the best showcases.

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    57. Brian JohnsonOctober 3, 2011 at 9:28 PM

      Well to hell with sleep (Blog-time +2hrs), this has my attention and is relevant to my interests.

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    58. Present PerfectOctober 3, 2011 at 9:31 PM

      @Freeze Frame: John DeLancie's voice haunts my every waking thought. You are SO VERY CLOSE SIR.

      @Mattatatta: If that were the point of the story, do you think I'd have put that there? :)

      @RaveHooves: I will admit to having the same trepidation myself, but... You're absolutely right and that's why I did it. I'm not proud! :/

      @naahdude: Can you be so sure? Look again, more closely.

      @Dusty the Royal Janitor: I try to be overly sensitive about Grim anything because some people are overly sensitive to it. Any mention of anything bad happening, more or less, merits a Grim* or Dark tag. That's why I put the rating notice in the description and will continue to do so from now on. I would exhort others to follow my example, but I expect nothing. :V Many thanks for the feedback!

      @Ramill: DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER. Drop me an e-mail, bro. Assuming you ever actually see this.

      @I AM A BRONY AND DAM PROUD: I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO SHIP. Seriously. I have a crazier one down the road.

      @Jelfes: CRAP. Don't leave me hangin', bro, what was it? D:

      @Discord: SHE JUST DID IT TO TRAP YOU INTO PAYING FOAL SUPPORT

      Guess I shoulda put those additional tags in all caps to emphasize the facetiousness therein. :V Oh well. Thanks everyone for reading! I'm glad this is doing marginally better than my last outing. :D

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    59. HA_BISKYOctober 3, 2011 at 9:39 PM

      Oh man. That got really kinky.

      There needs to be more Discord stories and such.

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    60. DSNesmithOctober 3, 2011 at 9:39 PM

      I read the tags and was like lolwut.

      Then I read the fic, and was like LOLWUT

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    61. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 9:44 PM

      I read the fic, and realized they did it
      ..
      ...
      ...
      BUT WILL IT BLEND?

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    62. DiscordOctober 3, 2011 at 9:45 PM

      @Present Perfect

      >insert Iaintevenmad.jpg

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    63. Brian JohnsonOctober 3, 2011 at 9:48 PM

      Brain-bleach perhaps, no.
      "This programme is much too silly. The next time something remotely silly occurs, I'll stop the show right then and there. I mean it." -Monty Python (Sgt. General)

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    64. Brian JohnsonOctober 3, 2011 at 9:50 PM

      @HA_BISKY I got the startings of the wingest, did you?

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    65. Present PerfectOctober 3, 2011 at 10:16 PM

      @Discord: Doesn't matter, had sex?

      ...Or whatever it is you do. D:

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    66. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 10:17 PM

      ................you gotta be shittin' me.

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    67. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 10:24 PM

      LOL @ Discord being Pro-Life.

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    68. Quotidian TortureOctober 3, 2011 at 11:07 PM

      Lulz. This was actually pretty funny, although the ending wasn't quite what I expected. I think the best part had to be the lovey dovey names Discord and Nightmare gave each other. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or gag.

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    69. Nova25October 3, 2011 at 11:21 PM

      @RaveHooves
      >SPOILER "it was all a dream"

      -A dream ? Well, I will surely read the story now. For real.

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    70. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 11:31 PM

      When I read the tag "They totally did it," I thought they were referring to conquering Equestria. Guess I was way off the mark there.

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    71. SgtGarandOctober 3, 2011 at 11:55 PM

      Haha, I'm glad my curiosity got the best of me. That was a pretty funny read. Also interesting how it ties in with the first episode of season 2

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    72. LeatherneckBronyOctober 4, 2011 at 12:28 AM

      Wow...This made my night. XD

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    73. TakataOctober 4, 2011 at 12:32 AM

      Oh god!


      *reads*

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    74. UnknownOctober 4, 2011 at 1:01 AM

      I don't know...
      Should i read it or not...
      I DON'T KNOW...

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    75. BladecutterOctober 4, 2011 at 1:32 AM

      My brain is full of billions and billions of fuck.

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    76. Super Scattman.October 4, 2011 at 1:44 AM

      it is a crossover with ST Voyager.

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    77. UnknownOctober 4, 2011 at 2:01 AM

      Read it, just read it

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    78. Lunasta, the magical wakeup pillOctober 4, 2011 at 2:06 AM

      I... uh... but they... what...

      Er... I guess...

      Luna is using THAT to suppress NMM?

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    79. SCOTTTAKAHASHIOctober 4, 2011 at 4:00 AM

      I don't even care what's in it, dat title and tags deserves 5 stars.

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    80. BronyboyOctober 4, 2011 at 5:38 AM

      Is it weird that I kinda want to see what the hypothetical baby creature looks like? (And then would probably daw over it.)

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    81. AnonymousOctober 4, 2011 at 6:35 AM

      God, this was hilarious.

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    82. Present PerfectOctober 4, 2011 at 8:15 AM

      And of course, NOW I come up with a way to end this that doesn't have to be a dream. SIGH, THE LIFE OF A WRITER.

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    83. TruthseekerOctober 4, 2011 at 3:52 PM

      My eyes! Dear Celestia my eyes!


      LOL that was hilarious!

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    84. DPV111October 4, 2011 at 7:51 PM

      @Present Perfect
      Nothing wrong with tossing in an additional alternate ending.

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    85. TenchiFreak5October 5, 2011 at 11:16 AM

      Finally got to read it. Actually pretty damn funny.

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    86. WizardWannabeOctober 6, 2011 at 12:23 PM

      @Present Perfect I just read it, but I would be happy to read more, it was most amusing.

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    87. AnonymousOctober 6, 2011 at 11:32 PM

      "Is this what our relationship has become? Am I no more than an armchair therapist to interpret your dreams?"

      Nightmare Freud: Your subconscious is telling you to banish your sibling to a celestial body.

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    88. DRTJROctober 9, 2011 at 7:35 PM

      That made me laugh.

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    89. Present PerfectOctober 31, 2011 at 9:08 AM

      This is just a note to anyone who was, like me, ultimately disappointed with IT WAS ALL A DREAM:

      This story is getting a major overhaul. I'm not just writing an alternate ending, I'm ripping out the current ending and replacing it with something better. No ETA because I have lots of stuff to do, but I like teasing things, so there you go.

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    90. The Lovely PenguinNovember 27, 2011 at 11:05 PM

      Haha, that was awesome. There were a couple of spelling errors, but it was overall a very good piece.

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