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Equestria Daily Settings

  • Story: The Crown Jewels

    by Sethisto
    [Adventure][Random][Comedy][Slightly Grimdark] "Post it. Post it now. Right now. No, I mean RIGHT now. That was a fantastic one-shot." -Pre Reader who gets excited easily

    Author: DeviousPie
    Description: After seven years of Celestia's tyranny, the ponies have had enough. Twilight creates a plan to finally get back at their beloved princess -- by robbing her of her crown. An over-the-top heist parody.
    The Crown Jewels

    Additional Tags: Action-comedy, over-the-top, jewel, heist, parody
    Friday, July 22, 2011 op 2:00 PM
    Labels: Adventure, Author: DeviousPie, comedy, Grimdark, Random, Star-5
    Open in app
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    60 comments:

    1. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:03 PM

      FIRST

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    2. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:05 PM

      NOT FIRST

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    3. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:06 PM

      This is why we can't have nice things, Anonymous.

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    4. ZAquanimusJuly 22, 2011 at 2:06 PM

      Oh hey, I know this author.

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    5. C. Theron VulpinJuly 22, 2011 at 2:12 PM

      Random... yes. comedy... yep. AJ has a gun... slightly grimdark.
      I'll be... somewhere else now. Thank you.

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    6. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      This makes absolutely no sense.

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    7. GrifJuly 22, 2011 at 2:19 PM

      This... is deliciously random.

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    8. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:23 PM

      Uhhh.. what the hay have I just read?

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    9. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      Pinkie Pie is a terrible wildcard. She didn't cut the brakes or scream "WILDCARD BITCHES! YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!" She needs wildcard practice.

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    10. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      ...I have no idea what I just read, but I enjoyed it.

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    11. PattyJuly 22, 2011 at 2:24 PM

      This is hilariously random. 5/5

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    12. colin23567July 22, 2011 at 2:26 PM

      9/10
      Kind of a jerk thing Trollestia did at the end
      Luna just doesn't get enough love

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    13. VarJuly 22, 2011 at 2:29 PM

      Okay, this is actually pretty fantastic. Random, yes, but coherent. It actually tells a proper story on it's own rather than being a purely crack fic.

      "I can't change the names, because I spent 95% of the planning time coming up with them."

      Spike dispatching the guards was hilarious, as well as Applejack's affectionate treatment of 'Rutherford'. Good stuff.

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    14. Narwhals' BendJuly 22, 2011 at 2:35 PM

      I feel sad for Luna. She didn't do anything, but still got her home, crown, money, and freedom stolen from her.

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    15. VarJuly 22, 2011 at 2:40 PM

      @ Narwhal's Bend

      All's fair in love, war and random humor fiction!

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    16. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:42 PM

      "Shoves a bound-and-gagged Trixie on the table"

      I want in on this game.

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    17. EkevooJuly 22, 2011 at 2:43 PM

      LOVE the argument! Can't wait to read this!

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    18. Rob CampanaJuly 22, 2011 at 2:45 PM

      The argument seems to be between this being hilarious idiocy or just plain idiocy.

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    19. CasperJuly 22, 2011 at 2:49 PM

      Oh dear god that was HILARIOUS. 5/5

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    20. Narwhals' BendJuly 22, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      @Anonymous
      I would trade all my jewels for a bound and gagged Luna.

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    21. shibbolethJuly 22, 2011 at 2:52 PM

      @C. Theron Vulpin
      Huh? Gun? All I saw was the noble sacrifice of Rutherford for the greater good.

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    22. Rob CampanaJuly 22, 2011 at 2:54 PM

      @shibboleth
      You have no idea how much this made me smile.

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    23. KShrikeJuly 22, 2011 at 2:56 PM

      @Narwhals' Bend
      uhh... eww...

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    24. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 3:01 PM

      "Applejack's affectionate treatment of 'Rutherford'."

      Some one please draw this!

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    25. Vimbert the UnimpressiveJuly 22, 2011 at 3:08 PM

      I... what...? What did I just read? And why can I not stop laughing?

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    26. TimberJuly 22, 2011 at 3:10 PM

      wth rotflmto

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    27. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 3:18 PM

      That was the single funniest fanfic I have ever read in all my life.
      Jesus christ, the last paragraph just killed me.

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    28. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 3:19 PM

      this is awesome brony! I laughed so hard when spike got rid of the guards

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    29. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 3:32 PM

      Had some genuinelly great moments of sheer "Oh my god what is happening?" feelings. Random with a direction.

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    30. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 3:41 PM

      20 feet are like 6 meters, that would be like standing on the roof of a 2-story-house with flatroof.
      A horse hoof is a little smaller (in length) than a human's foot and a pony's hoof is like half the length of a human's foot.
      That would mean that Dash was flying 3 meters over the ground, which is neither bird's eye or stealthy. It's about the same height of the cloud she was lounging in at the first episode.

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    31. Rob CampanaJuly 22, 2011 at 3:43 PM

      @Anonymous
      Thanks for that information. I wasn't really thinking about numbers when I wrote this story, but I'll change the numbers around once I get the chance to edit it.

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    32. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 3:46 PM

      Wow, this was AMAZING. Made me laugh a lot. Spike's part was hilarious!

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    33. MasterofRokuJuly 22, 2011 at 3:51 PM

      This story made my day. I liked the whole schizo-gun relationship Applejack had and Pinkie being a Wild Card.

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    34. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 3:58 PM

      Grimdark?
      Hell, I've seen a Normal/Comedy fic worse than that!

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    35. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 4:02 PM

      Listen to the Mission Impossible theme while reading this. DO IT.

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    36. StrykeJuly 22, 2011 at 4:26 PM

      That was deeply silly.

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    37. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 5:00 PM

      Celly's gonna lose that card game, I just know it.

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    38. jaayroJuly 22, 2011 at 5:09 PM

      Bravo, I say, Bravo!
      I enjoyed this fanfiction much more than I did any other.

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    39. Pinkamina Diane PieJuly 22, 2011 at 5:23 PM

      Yay, Equestria will forever know my name. That was probably the most hilarious fanfic I've read. I was laughing hysterically the entire time, and no fanfic has ever made me do that before. Brilliant!

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    40. ToonNinjaJuly 22, 2011 at 5:57 PM

      That was brilliant.

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    41. Rob CampanaJuly 22, 2011 at 6:09 PM

      Thanks for all the general praise, everypony. I hope I made your day just a little bit more absurd.

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    42. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 6:23 PM

      It's evil! It's diabolical! It's... not lemon scented.
      Meh, close enough.

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    43. Present PerfectJuly 22, 2011 at 6:32 PM

      My reaction to this story was basically the pre-reader's.

      This is one of the most incredible, balls-out pieces of absurdism I have ever read, and I loved every minute of it.

      Also, Rutherford is the new Abacus.

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    44. A grin without a catJuly 22, 2011 at 6:51 PM

      I Pinkie swear this is one of the best fanfics I've read in my entire life. All the Trollestia just KILLED me.

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    45. CameronJuly 22, 2011 at 7:13 PM

      I had to read all of Celestia's lines in a classic James Bond villain voice.

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    46. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 8:20 PM

      Damn. Enough tags for you?

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    47. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 8:41 PM

      This is the best Trollestia I've seen yet. <3

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    48. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 8:45 PM

      My Money.
      SHUT UP AND TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

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    49. AvogadroJuly 22, 2011 at 10:01 PM

      "Fourthly, where's my sandwich?" Best line in a fan fiction I've read since "The Elements of Awesomery." Random, stupid, funny, read it.

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    50. Sonic RainblastJuly 23, 2011 at 9:26 AM

      I'm not a total fan of random stories, but this is absolutely the best random MLP story I've ever read. I, love, this, story. You, Deviouspie, are a genius.

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    51. Rob CampanaJuly 23, 2011 at 12:09 PM

      FIFTY-FIRST!!!!

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    52. AnonymousJuly 23, 2011 at 5:08 PM

      "Sometimes, he gits so scared that he jus’ goes n’ shoots ponies."


      Amazing.

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    53. AnonymousJuly 23, 2011 at 5:52 PM

      That was incredible.

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    54. AnonymousJuly 23, 2011 at 11:41 PM

      *throws a pulse cannon in the pot*
      Heck, I'll join in too.
      Just don't touch the blue button.

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    55. Darth EquusJuly 24, 2011 at 12:46 AM

      SEQUEL.

      NAO!

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    56. FoxOfWarJuly 24, 2011 at 2:57 PM

      Sense.

      This fic made none.

      Whatever, I still laughed a fair bit because of it. Works for me. Utterly random, fairly devious amounts of OOC, and yet hilarious.

      ...although, now I want to see Ocean's Eleven, re-enacted with ponies.

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    57. A Terrible PersonJuly 27, 2011 at 11:40 PM

      That was delicious.

      And yes, that is the most appropriate word to describe a fic like this.

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    58. Rob CampanaJuly 28, 2011 at 6:34 PM

      @A Terrible Person
      Om nom nom nom nom.
      Anypony else realize that Seth forgot to give this story a star tag?
      Clearly, it's too cool for one.

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    59. A Terrible PersonJuly 28, 2011 at 10:45 PM

      @Deviouspie

      This should technically get a star-needed tag right now, but it will be given a star-whatever tag once it gets archived (moved off of the recent list at the bottom of the page). At least, I think I recall Seth saying that's how the ratings work someplace.

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    60. Rob CampanaAugust 6, 2011 at 11:23 AM

      @Darth Equus
      Workin' on it.

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