tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post20923640864593881..comments2024-03-28T13:36:33.816-06:00Comments on Equestria Daily - MLP Stuff!: Story: The L Words (Update Part 5!)Sethistohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03362851157623052522noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-52801350376426555232012-01-10T16:08:56.264-07:002012-01-10T16:08:56.264-07:00I find the butthurt the author expresses on the Fi...I find the butthurt the author expresses on the FimFiction page for the story now to be hilarious.<br /><br />Speaking as a grimdark author, you need to accept that just as you have a right to write what you want, others have a right to not have to read it. <br /><br />I really wish this thing could live up to the promise of it's first chapter, but at this point I'm giving up on it. The worst thing is, I could see how this could have been done right with just a little more thought and effort. The author clearly has some talent, but as long as this is the response to criticism I don't see improvement in the future.Pyritehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10202400781024171859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-79187836425578148392012-01-08T14:43:52.907-07:002012-01-08T14:43:52.907-07:00@DPV111
Yeah, it was really downhill after Chapte...@<a href="#c4853970628930712033" rel="nofollow">DPV111</a><br /><br />Yeah, it was really downhill after Chapter 1. Too much idiot ball. "HURR DURR U'RE AN ADDICT TWI, BACK TO UNCLE TOUCHY'S NAKED PUZZLE BASEMENT FOR YOU!"<br /><br /><i>♫Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement!♫<br />♫You won't wear a shirt and you'll cry!♫</i><br /><br />patton oswalt reference for teh winAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-48539706289307120332012-01-06T16:43:26.760-07:002012-01-06T16:43:26.760-07:00@Chaos Knux
And this is why I stopped reading aft...@<a href="#c4613015341272218330" rel="nofollow">Chaos Knux</a><br /><br />And this is why I stopped reading after less than 2 chapters.<br />It was pretty obvious the author has something they needed to get out of their system and that it was going to get worse before "it gets better".DPV111https://www.blogger.com/profile/01437920503784386649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-25532478463483130912012-01-06T10:50:45.096-07:002012-01-06T10:50:45.096-07:00I'm intrigued by the opening of the story and ...I'm intrigued by the opening of the story and all these confrontational comments. ^_^<br /><br />Let's see how badly EQD's Grimdark Identification System derped this time!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-46130153412722183302012-01-06T06:14:05.286-07:002012-01-06T06:14:05.286-07:00I have but one question for the author... Why?
I r...I have but one question for the author... Why?<br />I read Cupcakes, didn't blink an eye at it.<br />I read Sweet Apple Massacre, no sell.<br />I read this, I'm disturbed beyond words.<br /><br />Chapter 4, although you only implied it, makes it painfully clear that Twilight Sparkle was repeatedly molested/raped by a Satanic Cult in the past, and now her friends just handed her right back to them. The fuck is wrong with you?Chaos Knuxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02301790012255400908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-52545492706454632232011-12-31T17:18:11.054-07:002011-12-31T17:18:11.054-07:00It wasn't torture, but plot problems that stop...It wasn't torture, but plot problems that stopped me from going further with the story. <br /><br />I can live with damaged Twilight; [Grimdark][Sad] fictions are entitled to some liberties in their setups. But that her friends don't wait by her to regain consciousness, was jaw-dropping. That Spike forgets he can contact Celestia, even though the following weeks are obviously desperate, becomes too ridiculous for me to take the story's emotions seriously.<br /><br />For [Adventure], there has to be a sensible plot. For [Sad], getting Twilight into such a bad situation has minimal value. I feel the story sacrifices a lot to be [GrimDark].Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-19185798896608465532011-12-30T02:22:06.821-07:002011-12-30T02:22:06.821-07:00It's very much not for a different reason. And...It's very much not for a different reason. And narrowing it down further, they aren't asking Twilight any questions.Pyritehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10202400781024171859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-43331921365013788022011-12-29T02:34:01.142-07:002011-12-29T02:34:01.142-07:00I was gonna read it, but then Twilight torture cam...I was gonna read it, but then Twilight torture came up in the comments. Torture is one of the few things I won't read about, I just can't do it. Sure, mutilation I can handle, but inflicting pain as a means to gather information/fulfill a sadistic desire is a big no-no for me. Sowwy :3<br /><br />That said, if its torture for a different reason than stated above, I'll probably read it.Admiral Sparklehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06692531071366881341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-53579130172116364922011-12-26T12:27:57.000-07:002011-12-26T12:27:57.000-07:00I guess I feel that if they were being manipulated...I guess I feel that if they were being manipulated it would have made a better story for it to have been softer, for Twilight's friends to confront her reasonably and actually convince her to seek help. If the story is really about their frienship healing afterwards, I think that would have made a much better catalyst for it as it required Twilight to trust her friends, rather than just be assaulted.<br /><br />And it would have been far more stomache-dropping when the sanitarium actually turns out to be a bad place.Pyritehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10202400781024171859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-20781686470090893042011-12-24T09:24:38.459-07:002011-12-24T09:24:38.459-07:00@Pyrite
As the villain seems to have been expecti...@<a href="#c4694996105754600222" rel="nofollow">Pyrite</a><br /><br />As the villain seems to have been expecting Twilight, gloating about how she couldn't be kept from her, I was working on the assumption that she had a direct hand in manipulating things to bring Twilight to her doorstep, rather than it being any type of coincidence. Plus, since this villain has mind altering powers, it just seemed the most likely explanation for any rash actions on the other characters hands (hooves). So I'm willing to wait and see at this point.AJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17855976959286840085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-18790623362773610582011-12-24T02:40:23.252-07:002011-12-24T02:40:23.252-07:00I lied, three times.I lied, three times.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-46949961057546002222011-12-23T22:14:58.351-07:002011-12-23T22:14:58.351-07:00@Adam Crocker
If it's Chekhov's gun, it&#...@<a href="#c2209504148347411276" rel="nofollow">Adam Crocker</a><br /><br />If it's Chekhov's gun, it's more than a little clumsy by being so out of place. Frankly I was more disturbed by this behavior by them than by the behavior of the villain, because it seemed badly out of character for them to jump to that kind of action. <br /><br />Right now it just seems like a flimsy justification to get Twilight where the writer wants her to be, and that feels extremely cheap. And the movement of the story hinges on this uncharacteristically brutal and thoughtless intervention. Without more than everypony being a bit stressed and Twilight revealing that she has some kind of problem she doesn't want to talk about to lead up to this, to justify it, it's going to keep tearing at me through the story.<br /><br />I actually like grimdark stories a lot. I felt that the first chapter had a lot of potential and want to like this story, but as it is it reminds me of 'Frigid winds and burning hearts' with it's pointless melodrama and throwing dead colts at Celestia's feet near the end.<br /><br />Twilight was basically betrayed by two of her closest friends. I just can't accept that without some reason behind it, and it's not the kind of reason I can wait several chapters for.Pyritehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10202400781024171859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-11638009581042877032011-12-23T21:45:11.316-07:002011-12-23T21:45:11.316-07:00I read this and found it intriguing and enjoyable,...I read this and found it intriguing and enjoyable, although it certainly strikes me as "grimdark". I'll freely admit, however, that I might have passed on it under such a label, so I personally will not complain that it was lacking one.<br /><br />Twilight's probably my favorite character and I'm a sucker for stories that frame her as having a somewhat fragile psychological make-up. I think the show has done a good job of suggesting that she has to work at holding it together sometimes, and that there were likely times other than the instance where she turned her parents into potted plants or went all "Lesson Zero" where she lost it. Certainly nothing so dark and drastic as in this story, but then I don't mind fans exploring the extremes that the show would never go into itself.<br /><br />I will agree that there were a few points where the writing tripped me up and I had to backtrack to understand what had just happened. However, I was always able to work it out, so I was never completely lost, just jarred out of things a bit. <br /><br />I liked many of the touches. Twilight's cataloging of her injuries as "scientific observations" was in character, sad, and informative all at the same time. I hope that the journal is brought up again when her friends regain their memories and seek to find out what is really going on. I also like the use of Pinkie and Derpy as two other characters with their own issues trying to deal with what has happened. Derpy obviously has a history with Twilight and this villain, which will be interesting to learn. <br /><br />The villain herself is extraordinarily twisted for use with ponies. I'm more than a bit nervous about where things may go with her. However, I'm quite curious to read more of the story. <br /><br />Looking forward to an update.AJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17855976959286840085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-22095041483474112762011-12-23T19:35:12.930-07:002011-12-23T19:35:12.930-07:00@CityFlyer502
"I don't think it's jus...@<a href="#c6229328301256186375" rel="nofollow">CityFlyer502</a><br />"I don't think it's just Twilight getting tortured. All of them I think are going through some kind of fallout from this."<br /><br />@<a href="#c6229328301256186375" rel="nofollow">CityFlyer502</a><br />"...but I have a hard time letting myself accept that Applejack and Rarity would just cart Twilight away like that without ever giving her a chance to explain herself."<br /><br />Which really makes me wonder if there's something more going on her than just the obvious consequences of Twilight being carted away and a weird spell being cast on the rest of the Mane Six. When the story opened Fluttershy was already heffed up on energy drinks trying to help hedge hodges with a mysterious illness, and Applejack and Dash had seemingly broken off a relationship (which ties into an earlier story of the author's). Maybe I'm just reading too much into those details, but those seem like cases of Chekhov's gun to me.Adam Crockerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06911456566901372011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-41535021483814256892011-12-23T19:13:54.173-07:002011-12-23T19:13:54.173-07:00@Cassie Truman
What?
"I actually said I was...@<a href="#c4089848884271655430" rel="nofollow">Cassie Truman</a><br /><br />What?<br /><br /><i>"I actually said I was fine with a grimdark tag, just that I wanted people to read this and not immediately discard it because it has a tag."</i><br /><br />No, you said:<br /><br /><i>"You raise an excellent point, one which was also raised by the pre-readers. I'll tell you what I told them; this isn't actually about Twilight getting tortured."</i><br /><br />I can only respond to and infer your intentions from things you write.<br /><br /><i>"Also there's a Nigerian gentleman who wants me to tell you that you've come into some money of late..."</i><br /><br />What is this I don'r even...<br /><br /><br />Look. I understand where you are coming from. You crafted a story that you put a lot of effort into, and you want people to base their judgments on the story's merits, not the tags on the front page.<br /><br />But understand that to many of us, these tags are not a "single word" but an indicator (the ONLY one we have until authors start putting proper content disclaimers on their stories as a sadly small few already do) of the type of experience we are in for.<br /><br />Think of which creates the most negativity:<br />1: A reader who dislikes certain content sees said content tag and rejects the story outright without giving what could otherwise be a great story a chance.<br />or<br />2: A reader who dislikes certain content and reads a story that does not indicate said content, yet comes across this content unexpectedly.<br /><br />I understand that not all grimdark is the same, just like not all shipping, crossover, and HiE is the same. But if you want to avoid the stigma of the tag it's your responsibility to put the pertinent information in the description to allow discriminating readers to make a more educated decision.<br /><br />I don't like your story. You don't have to like or respect that. But please understand that this advice is given without any personal bias.<br /><br />Anyone who reads this story signed up for what the Adventure and Sad tags promised, nothing more. If you don't want the story judged on the Grimdark tag, remove the content that warrants the tag. This story not having a Grimdark tag is inconsiderate and unprofessional, regardless of any motivation or reasoning on your part.DPV111https://www.blogger.com/profile/01437920503784386649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-77160105656815986472011-12-23T18:04:32.785-07:002011-12-23T18:04:32.785-07:00I like the descriptiveness and where the story is ...I like the descriptiveness and where the story is going, but I have a hard time letting myself accept that Applejack and Rarity would just cart Twilight away like that without ever giving her a chance to explain herself. It feels like there needed to be something more to explain their actions beyond what we saw. As it is, it feels like they've been given a bit of an idiot ball to carry for that scene.<br /><br />If they were manipulated into it, I feel like we need more indication of that.Pyritehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10202400781024171859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-62293283012561863752011-12-23T17:48:16.165-07:002011-12-23T17:48:16.165-07:00After getting a look at the three chapters posted,...After getting a look at the three chapters posted, I gotta say I'm intruiged. It's painful and twisted to see our favorite ponies essentially getting tortured in so many ways. I don't think it's just Twilight getting tortured. All of them I think are going through some kind of fallout from this. But hopefully they'll somehow pull through in the end. +1 on the grimdark tag; there's enough freaky stuff going on here as it is. Thumbs up to the author and looking forward to the next chapters.Rodrigo Osoriohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12639585422582421746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-67611076234477747912011-12-23T16:45:00.495-07:002011-12-23T16:45:00.495-07:00Like a few others said, I am having a bit of diffi...Like a few others said, I am having a bit of difficulty following this story completely. It is a bit confusing, especially lacking a back story so far.<br /><br />At the same time, however, the concept is rather interesting, and the story is definitely suspenseful, so I'm rather anxious to see what happens in the forthcoming chapters.JoeyH3https://www.blogger.com/profile/18392381209282844443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-88246606327037029512011-12-23T15:54:59.974-07:002011-12-23T15:54:59.974-07:00@Cassie Truman
Hey! That's anonymous collect...@<a href="#c8819559128371697295" rel="nofollow">Cassie Truman</a><br /><br />Hey! That's anonymous collection pixels and data actualized by an anonymous collection of nerve bundles and brain chemistry. ;-)Adam Crockerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06911456566901372011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-88195591283716972952011-12-23T15:28:51.586-07:002011-12-23T15:28:51.586-07:00@Adam Crocker
Sweet Christ, someone who finally b...@<a href="#c7532253146666939422" rel="nofollow">Adam Crocker</a><br /><br />Sweet Christ, someone who finally bloody <i>gets it</i>! Oh, I could <i>kiss</i> you, anonymous collection of pixels and data!Cassie Trumanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07552679091957589477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-81390174083686571202011-12-23T15:28:00.923-07:002011-12-23T15:28:00.923-07:00@Heavybull
Charming.@<a href="#c8772444115208904630" rel="nofollow">Heavybull</a><br /><br />Charming.Cassie Trumanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07552679091957589477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-40898488842716554302011-12-23T15:27:31.078-07:002011-12-23T15:27:31.078-07:00@DPV111
I actually said I was fine with a grimdar...@<a href="#c6382366288988508822" rel="nofollow">DPV111</a><br /><br />I actually said I was fine with a grimdark tag, just that I wanted people to read this and not immediately discard it because it has a tag. If you will rule out a work of fiction from a single word, then frankly you're not the sort of person who should be reading it.<br /><br />That was my argument. I will happily forward you the email to prove it. If you're a user on FiMFiction, please send me a PM with your email on it.<br /><br />Also there's a Nigerian gentleman who wants me to tell you that you've come into some money of late...Cassie Trumanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07552679091957589477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-75322531466669394222011-12-23T15:07:21.160-07:002011-12-23T15:07:21.160-07:00I haven't read a lot of 'Grimdark' but...I haven't read a lot of 'Grimdark' but thus far this story certainly appears lean heavily enough in that direction. The scenes describing Twilight's torture would merit changing the tags appropriately.<br /><br />That said as someone who normally avoids Grimdark simply because it feels so tonally inappropriate to the show, this is a very good story. The author has done a fine job of winding up the suspense and leaving me asking a lot of questions as a reader.Adam Crockerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06911456566901372011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-87724441152089046302011-12-23T14:17:21.323-07:002011-12-23T14:17:21.323-07:00stay away from this. if your just reading this (be...stay away from this. if your just reading this (because the page takes you to bottom) this is not jut sad...this is flat out grimdark.Heavybullhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02503123567208598097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865775941337421610.post-27608191016349999002011-12-23T13:46:43.689-07:002011-12-23T13:46:43.689-07:00@Colour Coded Chaos
May I say that never befoore ...@Colour Coded Chaos<br /><br />May I say that never befoore have Ii benn instilled with such a feeling of dread as when I read your story. Explaining all of Twilight's suffering and how her friends reacted diifferently added such a familiar feeling and such detail that thee story really hit home. I hope you decide to update soon so I can get some closure as to what has happened to Twilight and why her friends acted the way they did.<br /><br />Overall 4.5/5<br />Grammer 4/5<br />Story 5/5<br />Description 5/5<br />Characterization 5/5<br /><br />I'm impressed.Shadow Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14676216964594668967noreply@blogger.com