• Merch Review: Goblet, Salt & Pepper Shakers, and Memory Game.

    WeAreBorg here with something EQD hasn’t done in a while: a merchandise review. My waifu Cynder said if she’s buying all this stuff for me constantly, I might as well tell people about it. Clever girl. So, rather than start off with something you really want to know about like the Guardians of Harmony: Fan Series Discord, Celestia, and Luna, because they don't arrive until Monday I thought I’d ease into what I hope is another regular series with something a bit lighthearted.

    Please join me after the break for a look at ceramics and ceramic tasting chocolate!

    1) Rainbow Dash Goblet

    That face is haunting.

    $15 on Amazon

    This 7” tall 12oz cyan goblet is what happens when an inebriated Twilight casts a horrific transformation spell on one of her friends. The hoof-made piece of ceramic is skillfully base-coated by brush, with a machine following up with the face painting and other details. I’m pretty sure if this was one of the choices for Indiana Jones as he perused the selection for the Holy Grail, the movie would have turned out way different.

    In case you didn't know it was bluefast. Ignore the cat.

    Yes, this fascinating piece of Vandor LLC. craftsmanship kinda makes you go... “Huh?” Complete with her cutie mark and name, Rainbow Dash’s empty head demands to be filled. As it’s not microwave or dishwasher safe, it's probably not great for hot, super sugary items, which is okay, because it's not a mug. Specifically, it’s not Vandor’s almost identical 12oz mug. It's a cyan chalice created for a more refined drink. Let's try it out…

    EQD reminds you to always drink responsibly.

    A nice semi-sweet mead mixed with blackberries sounds just like something a pony would imbibe in Equestria. A fermentation of honey, the high sugars are great at achieving a 12%+ ABV. Writing fuel. I tried to find something the color of her eyes. Let’s see how that works…

    What Rainbow Dash’s sloshy brains normally look like. Serve chilled.

    Yeah, no. I doubt any color liquid other than clear or blue would blend with or not clash with Rainbow Dash’s light blue flank color. Also, lifting her up to stick her mane in your mouth sounds like something out of a fanfic, but I did it anyway. I wanted to pretend that she made the honey wine taste better, but all I remember was the look of “what are you doing with your life” that my wife gave me. Drinking an adult beverage from a children’s television show’s character’s head is on everyone’s bucket list right?

    Final verdict: Make sure you have the correct vessel for your type of drink, and if you need to be distracted from your liquid in order to even swallow it, this is the chalice for you.

    2) Rainbow Dash Salt and Pepper Shaker.

    For when you want even more stuff from Rainbow’s head

    $15 on Amazon

    This set of shakers measures about 4” tall on the Rainbow Dash one. I bought these because Dashie looked so cute on a cloud. I don’t have enough Dashie on clouds. As plain and boring as the generic rainbow salt shaker is, the Rainbow pepper shaker is nicely modeled and decently painted. It’s not a perfect job, but it’s whimsical. And of course, she’s the pepper shaker. It’s totally because she’s the zippiest, fiercest of ponies and not just because she’s the bigger mold.

    That rainbow is woefully uninspired.

    Also created by Vandor LLC., the salt and pepper set stands out in their selection of MLP licensed drinkware, shopping bags, and lunch boxes. They do make quality products, and the pair feel like they could survive a tumble off the table. The piece does sport Cutie Marks on both sides which is twice as many as most toys out there. The shape of Dashie makes me wonder about her effectiveness as a shaker though. Let’s try it out...

    90% of my diet is capsaicin

    Because I believe in fresh ground black peppercorns and salt, milled to an application determined-size, I figured I’d choose another pair of seasonings. In comes smoked Bhoot Jolokia, aka Ghost Pepper powder, and smoked paprika: Two seasonings I usually use in grilling. Rainbow Dash, being the intense filly she is, clearly needs to be the seasoning with a million Scovilles and the colorful smoked paprika can be in the rainbow. Let’s see how that works...

    Out of the Pegasus and into the frying pan.

    Works pretty well actually. Easy to grab and hold, and dispenses the finely ground Ghost Pepper with ease. The holes are good enough for any off-the-shelf ground pepper if you’re not a big cook, but I think these might be the new home for my go-to smoked flavors. I recommend a small funnel for filling or a folded piece of paper as the stoppered hole is only 3/8”.

    Final Verdict: It’s like dumping her thoughts all over my food. Or her Daring Do fan fiction. 9/10 would season again.

    3) Remember Me Chocolate Game

    Time to eat some ponies.

    $12 at World Market

    This is an odd one: a simple memory game disguised as chocolate. Designed as a couch co-op puzzle solver more frustrating than one-handed button-mashing Fighting is Magic. Of my top 5 list of pony related games, this was on a different list. Made in the Netherlands, the box denotes that it contains Belgian chocolate. Of any two European countries, the magic of friendship is some of the strongest between Belgium and the Netherlands. We’ll see how that friendship tastes later on.

    Delicious stock art.

    So these are the box’s contents: 20 cards with 20 ponies and 20 chocolates to match. The rules state the winner of the game gets to eat a pony of their choice in their ritual of victory, so a second set of cards is included to replace the chocolates as eaten. Instructions are on the back of the box and as you guessed for a memory game, players take turns trying to match cards to chocolates in pairs. Player with the most pairs wins. Let’s try it out...

    A 1 in 20 chance of getting your OTP.

    I sat down and played with my wife, who was trying to cook dinner. Due to the liquid in my Rainbow Dash goblet I was having trouble with the memory part of the game and she was trying to cook. It was an equal playing field. I was dedicated to winning the chocolate prize but not so well that I slept on the couch that night or found my dinner in my lap. The game was on…

    I’d ship it.

    Her first draw was the pair of Snips. I was in trouble. I drew these princesses. 15 minutes in and the game was still on. At some point my wife got so engaged that she stopped watching the stove. For better or for worse my house is equipped with a commercial fire alarm system, complete with strobes and pull handles. Yeah, that sucker went off. After a pause in the game to vent my AC and smoke into the neighborhood, we resumed and then finished the game. Here’s how it worked out...

    My pairs are on the left, hers on the right.

    It was a tie. A battle of the ages that ended in smoke, tears, and a couple bouts of coughing. It was time to reward ourselves. The creators, Games for Motion, make a confusing set of products, including grade school educational games, and Heineken beer: The Game. We were hopeful that a company that also failed to renew their URL as printed on the box, and who made the most horrific looking My Little Pony gingerbread set, at least had some decent chocolate. So we unwrapped...

    It’s designed to look like one of Applejack’s fields.

    Now the ingredients lend themselves to a tasty chocolate with just seven of them, and nothing chemical sounding. I’m not sure if it’s my unrefined American palate, but that was not a taste I enjoyed. Cynder was not fond of it either. Not wanting to give a bad opinion on something that wasn’t culturally what I was used to, I called in support from someone who actually lived in Europe and loves chocolate. With a single bite she declared, “This is not Belgian chocolate. This is cheap Easter chocolate.” Maybe they should have been marshmallow treats instead.

    Final Verdict: It’s a game you can get into, even if it’s as simple as it is. The chocolate is not something I recommend getting into you.

    Even ponies are better with bacon.

    Eventually, dinner was served and I was told to put my toys back on the table. It was an interesting night and a fascinating use of $42. No buyer's regret but I don’t plan on gifting the memory game to anyone. I’m a sucker for anything with functionality, so you may see stuff like this in the future. Hopefully, you found the review useful, and if you did or didn’t, let me know in the comments so I know how to proceed.

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