[Comedy]
Author: Melon Hunter
Description: Commissioned to produce a dress for Princess Celestia herself, Rarity orders in the finest fabric she can get her hooves on. However, her work is disturbed by a mysterious plague that spreads through the town, causing ponies to lose their beloved manes! Is it the work of a phantom prankster? Perhaps a deadly disease? Or maybe something a little more... colourful?Melting Away
Additional Tags: Fabulous fabric causes complete chaos.
Winner of the Fimficion February Write-Off!
21 comments:
huh
Wow, sounds weird. I'll give it a try. *adds to list of fanfics to read*
No mention of this being the winner of the competition?
...Huh.
Bookmarked
Rarity making a dress for Princess Celestia, very interesting
This one won the FiMfiction Write-off, and with good reason.
That was pretty awesome
A really funny fic, and well written to boot. Worth reading, everypony!
Glad to see it on here already Melon!
You should mention that this won first prize on FiM Fiction!
Inb4commentsaboutcancer
@Marvin Martian no... please, just... no! I prefer my Rarities alive, ty!
It seems like I'm the only person that didn't like this story.
Ah, well. Congratulations on winning the write-off. Go buy some poni.
@Daffodil
Care to elaborate? Seeing as you were a member of the judging panel and a pre-reader. I'm interested to see what you didn't like about it.
... That ending. In the words of m. night shyamalan "What a Twist!"
@Melon Hunter
Well, the writing was certainly competent and the characterizations weren't awful. I just felt that the plot was lazily thrown together. The buildup to Rarity realizing what was causing the hair loss should have been funny, but instead I found it dull and predictable. Even the payoff of surprise Troll!Luna wasn't all that funny and, frankly, seemed forced.
I give the writer credit for telling an entire episode style story in less than 10k words AND with a time constraint. It just wasn't for me.
@Daffodil
Well, each to their own. I can't satisfy every last reader out there. The ending has certainly divided people the most, at least according to the comments on FimFiction. I'll try not to go crazy and please everyone, though!
As for the story feeling 'forced', chalk that up to me coming up with the story on Wednesday evening (with the deadline on Sunday), then hammering away at it in between uni work and a friend coming to visit. I was honestly surprised I was able to finish a half-decent story, let alone win the competition. Rest assured, there wasn't much time for reflection over how the story flowed, and my next piece of work will definitely have more time allocated to it.
Sorry if I come off as attacking you, it just took me by surprise to get that glowing praise in the Thoughts From The Panel, and then a member of said panel outright disliking it. Again, though, I've had plenty enough praise. Any constructive criticism is, as always, appreciated.
@Melon Hunter
My criticism isn't directed at you as a writer, but more at the story in question. You've made it clear that you can write a good story; certainly a better story than most of the other entrants in that competition. All the issues I saw could have been fixed given enough time. Alas, such is the curse of a time constraint when it comes to writing.
So anyway, Melon hunter! Thanks for asking SALT for help! XD We're always willing to do more proofreading when ya write more stories!
Very good story. I can see why this won.
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