• Story: Triple X (Update Complete!)


    [Shipping] [Comedy] [Slice of Life] [Kinda Sad] This story is a bit more mature than what we usually upload.  Think American Pie style humor.  The general fanfic readerbase tends to take these too seriously, so ignore the star rating.



    Author: ElMikkino
    Description: Sly Clop is a laid back slacker who runs one of Ponyville's only porn shops on Soresaddle Street. He is a regular customer of a "gentlecolt's club", the Knife and Apple, where he regularly shoots the breeze with Rainbow Dash, who's seen better days.

    One day, his only employee quits, and he hires Lyra as a new one. Almost immediately, his life becomes more interesting, and in the long run, better, as he begins this new awkward relationship with her.
    Triple X (New Part 11!)

    Additional Tags: Cute, Awkward, Ponycussing, Not a clopfic

    347 comments:

    1. remove Stars completely snd force to actually say eomething they didnt like in the fic. it should lower amount of folk rating without reading anything.

      ReplyDelete
    2. not a bad story, not that great ether. i think the author could have used more common words like "faded yellow" instead of "ecru" or "deep red" instead of "carmine".

      i know it can come across as stupid, but i don't like how they thew out all the fannon of background characters like lyra and doctor hooves. i think it would have been better to just create a few more OC's to fit the roles they wanted and avoid the risk of alienating the readers.

      i know for the first 2 chapters i was waiting for some joke about the doctor leaving behind a fog watch as an explanation for there brake in character.

      in the end, i don't regret reading. but, your mileage may vary..

      ReplyDelete
    3. DPV11: I know the specific saying's origin, but it is currently used genuinely as a catch-all for the series' lessons, which certainly include casting away your intolerance, as with Zecora. Surely though, you wouldn't be so absurd as to suggest that love and caring isn't a centerpiece in a series named "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic"." You seem to want to discredit the message in an attempt to put yourself above those who express it, simply because you associate it with hooligans. Which seems silly to me.

      ReplyDelete
    4. I'm going to completely ignore the arguments going on in the comments, because it's pointless and stupid.

      The story itself...was fairly interesting. The formatting could use some work, and I feel like the use of present tense wasn't really necessary. What happened to Dashie as a result of her abortion of a career with the Wonderbolts is rather sad and unfortunate, and also not a fate I would agree with...though that's because I'm of the opinion she wouldn't have lasted two years in the Wonderbolts at all, because she'd miss her friends too much.

      The more advanced technology in the fic not seen in the show bugged me, as it usually does. The overall technological level of Equestria is about 1915 or so, not 1999.

      As I read through the story I did notice some other mildly irksome things, relics of our language that are dropped here and there, like the word boobs, or hand, or man, etc. Some more careful proofreading should be in order for future chapters.

      Though we only saw two canon characters, the dialog didn't quite sound like things they would say...the attitudes were there, but the words themselves didn't feel right, especially for Gilda.

      The song introduced in the third chapter was not the best choice...

      I feel like this story is overall worth three stars in its current state. I might rate it higher depending upon if it improves in newer chapters. It definitely has potential and it does have a few funny bits, so I will keep an eye on future chapters.

      ReplyDelete
    5. I've got an idea. Why don't you just only allow votes for 4 or 5 stars. I mean, why would anyone count votes that they don't agree with anyway? Its not like there's any possible chance that a portion of the audience legitimately doesn't like something.

      ReplyDelete
    6. "Think American pie style humor" must read

      ReplyDelete
    7. This flame war, INCREDIBLY ENTERTAINING, I myself don't read fanfiction, so I don't know how this would turn out, I can tell you though, I have a very positive opinion in it.

      Other than that, please keep arguing, not only are you guys actually speaking it with a validity that keeps the flame alight and really talking about something worth arguing, you guys are as entertaining as the fanfic might be.







      As much as I like you Mattatta, GTFO, you're dousing it!

      Actually screw it, it seems to already have been doused.

      I'll be seeing you guys in the next shitstorm!

      ReplyDelete
    8. Well, for the record, I found the story quite entertaining - in the "Just don't think about it too hard" kind of way. It had a couple of solid comedy moments, though some of that was driven primarily by the "Isn't this absurd, there's _insert adult content here_ in Equestria", which wears thin fairly quickly. After the first couple of 'shock value' laughs, further attempts don't gain the same response, because the Ponyville of this story is no longer an 'innocent' place in the readers mindset.

      That said, there were some decent jokes that stand up on their own merit, the writing was fairly solid (with a few out-of-universe errors that have already been pointed out), the main character is fairly engaging and the setting is certainly out of the ordinary. I'd give it a tentative 4 stars right now, with a serious potential to either lose *or* gain stars depending on how further chapters progress the story.

      ReplyDelete
    9. Y'know, this has got to be one of the most straight-forward, filthy themed, shameless, sitcom romances I've ever read in my life.

      It's like grimdark in a tame setting! I hate grimdark! What else can I say!?

      ... ... Gave that @*%#^ a five-star! XD

      ReplyDelete
    10. Abandons the sad bit pretty quickly in favor of more sexual humor, which I got as many chuckles out of as most other comedy fics. As some have critiqued, linking to youtube videos and other immersion-breaking bits do trouble me a bit, but not enough that I wouldn't recommend it, if only because it adds to the novelty of the fic.

      It's clearly frowned upon, but personally I would love to read more risqué romcom like this.

      ReplyDelete
    11. OK, I'm generally anti-clopfic (IN PUBLIC *wink*) because, yes, it does make bronies look like absolutely horrible furry nerd peverts begging to be made fun of.....BUT.........the amount of asshurt in here in fucking embarrassing. Story isn't great but it isn't Mystery Pinkie Pie Theatre 3000 material either. Get a fucking grip, jeez.


      @Aquaman52

      >You go on and on about "R-rated fan fiction" being a major no-no for posting, but if you'll pardon my Fancy: what the fuck kind of MPAA rating do you think "Fallout: Equestria" (a.k.a. the most massively popular fic on this site) would get?

      Yeah, I've been pointing this out to the Grimdark haters *forever* now.

      @Adrian Brony

      >Seth has a history of questionable judgment, even before the pony fandom was a thing. I wont' get into it too much, the past is the past and I respect that, but I'm just saying I am more concerned about seth himself than the occasional questionable fic.

      I've always maintained that a clopfic gets posted on EQD only when *Seth* likes it....

      But dirt on Seth pre-pony? DO. TELL. mycutiemarkisagun@gmail.com

      @leopardx

      >Porn doesn't belong in the MLP universe. Simple as that.

      You know what else "doesn't belong"? Guns, drugs, murder, oppression......fortunately, there's more than one MLP universe, you fucking HATER.

      @Drakmire

      Yeah, don't forget the FO:E clopfic chapter. Sure, its got some substance, but its also got play-by-play of Homage and LilPip going at it with a double-sided dildo.

      @leopardx

      >I'm not a fan of pornography at all

      Who the fuck do you think you're fooling? Child please.

      @DPV111

      >FO:E (which I have no interest in reading myself, ever)

      WHAT? And here I thought you enjoyed some Grimdark. Damn, its not that bloody. There's a reason it's considered the greatest fanfic. Cupcakes it ain't. You are missing out. Don't be scared off by the hype. You WILL be sucked in.

      @Sethisto

      CONTROVERSY SELLS! ALL PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY!

      ReplyDelete
    12. People are apprehensive to giving this a chance because of the subject matter? It sounds funny to me, and according to quite a few readers, it's quite a high-quality fic.

      If you all acted this way toward MLP in the first place, you wouldn't be here right now. Just a thought from a lurker.

      ReplyDelete
    13. I have absolutely no respect for R34 or clop. None whatsoever. I'm not sure about this, though. As long as it doesn't get explicit, I think it could be good.

      I'm not a prude. I just don't want to sexualize the ponies. That just feels wrong to me.

      ReplyDelete
    14. This story has a lower rating than Cupcakes. I'm disappointed fandom... I truly am. I can understand being against R34 and Clop, but the thing is, this story is NOT clop.
      I mean, this isn't a star-6 or star-5 mastery, but it's certainly ten times better than fucking Cupcakes.

      ReplyDelete
    15. @DPV111
      if i could give it a 2.5, I would. I stopped after chapter 1 because it didn't make me laugh at all and 1st OC x lyra sounds about as interesting as wet paint.

      the Luna Clopfic is... odd. Personally I think the biggest difference is that the Lunafic is finished and isn't out-staying it's welcome. While well enough written, this fic was tedious to get through and I kept alt-tabbing around looking for something to making me laugh. It CERTAINLY fails on [comedy].

      Also, it has that version od Dash that I hate. And it got there via exposition. Because she is _such_ a weak pony.

      /throw a pre-reader onto the side that the quote is bad and wrong and is DEF not a 5 star and probably not even a 4 star fic.

      ReplyDelete
    16. was pretty good. Not the best, not the worst.

      Though it's not even really obscene. Not sure why people are getting worked up about it being a clopfic, since it's not.

      ReplyDelete
    17. Wow... 766 ratings, 2.3 stars, 218 comments.
      That tells me one thing...

      More people are here just to star bomb, than to actually ever consider giving this a chance.

      I am ashamed of such intolerant ... I'm not going to say that. Just be ashamed of your own intolerance. If the writings of the renaissance had star ratings back then... You would be the bucking dicks that would 1 star Galileo and Leonardo. Most would 1 star and run... some of you trolls would be posting notes to the village board that you want anatomical texts banned, for being inappropriate, and that you don't like the "fics" that go against canon, claiming the Earth isn't the center of the universe.

      I ain't claiming this is 5 star. It's at best a low 4 star or a high 3 star... but 2.3 (and that's the highest I've seen in HOURS). I ain't even saying it's in the same league as those great thinkers of the past... It's not. What I'm saying is that that your mentality is despicable, and horrific, and disgusting, and perversely intolerant. YOU, with your intolerant mentality, are the SAME type of intolerant little shits that 700 years ago would have shared the same mental processed that had been responsible for the countless murders of people, burned alive at the stake for daring to express thought, be different, or go against the status quo.

      You trolls are driven by the same mental processes that once drove the inquisition and the crusades and the Salem witch trials. You just lack the legal backing to burn people at the stake, so you have created the art of the troll instead... Since that is still something you can do these days and not go to jail.

      I say all 1 and 5 star ratings should be stripped, leaving only the 2-4 range. People who liked it enough to 5 star it should come back for a re-vote, after it's dropped from page 1. It is a shame that ratings can't be limited to commenters only. It'd go a long way to prevent star bombing, and allow individual star ratings to be TIED to parasprites that openly admit to NOT reading or having no intention of reading the story, but who are still themselves rating it down with their little 1 star bomb. I want to just grab every one of you parasprites and burn your wings off with the flame of Celestia's sun, just so I can watch you squirm on the ground as countless ponies trample your colorful mouthed hides into a thin film of grass fertilizer. Go back to the Everfree forest and get back in the food chain beneath the Manticores and Ursas, like you belong.

      At least people are fighting the bombing... I've seen that rating fluctuate wildly in the last night. There are too many ratings now for anything beyond small increments to truly effect this at this point.

      And yeah... I meant every word of my diatribe...

      I truly believe that many modern day trolls are truly driven by the same intolerant though processes that drove people in the past to commit the atrocities that were witch hunts and inquisitions.

      ReplyDelete
    18. Aww, when scrolling down and first seeing the title alone, I was kinda hoping for "Triple X", as in the movies that starred Vin Diesel and Ice Cube. Whoops.

      ReplyDelete
    19. This was hilarious. I loved it. It may not be the particularly spectacular, but it doesn't deserve this low rating.

      ReplyDelete
    20. RE LEOPARDX:

      Your entire argument for the idea that this fic should not exist is based on the idea of innocence. This is absolutely not beyond the point, not at all. Give me more evidence you goddamn troll.

      And yes I just woke up. This is clearly important.

      ReplyDelete
    21. @Mattatatta

      >All parties stop posting, you're not going to convince eachother any differently, so stop arguing lest you wish to truly display a lack of basic intelligence.

      >Just zip it, get away from the keyboard, and calm down.

      This is so adorable lol. You think this is bad? Try discussing politics online sometime Matta. "OBAMA'S AN AVOWED MUSLIM!!!" "AMERICA IS A POLICE STATE!!!" "THE ILLUMINATI KILLED JFK!!!" "BUILDING SEVEN!!!" sigh

      My soul still bears the scars of the American Political Wasteland.

      You'd probably kill yourself to make the pain stop.

      And I wouldn't blame you.

      @NinesTempest

      >You also forgot windigoes - I can argue that it is /only/ by their very existence that there is such a prevailing idea of kindness and ideas in Equestria.

      ding ding ding

      Wendigos FORCED the ponies to co-operate and live in harmony, under pain of death. That's not utopia, that's borderline Crapsaccharine World. Its like God went "OH NO NO NO, I WENT THROUGH THIS SHIT WITH THE TALKING MONKEYS - YOU FUCKERS ARE GONNA LOVE AND TOLERATE AND BE NICE TO ONE ANOTHER ME DAMMIT"

      @The Invincible

      Honestly, I think the mere mention of "2 Mares, 1 Cup" is what sealed its clop label fate. lulz. I WANT FANART NAO!!!!! LYRA AND BON-BON, THEN TWIXIE, THEN SCRATCHTAVIA.

      @Mattatatta

      >I hope my choice was not in vain.

      Oh it was. It was.

      Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death.

      ReplyDelete
    22. @Sethisto
      Is that all this is about for you? More hits for EqD? There's more to running a site than having hits. It's about keeping as many people happy as possible, and if you fail to do that, people WILL leave. I suggest you guys get your act together, or other sites WILL gain popularity, and your near-monopoly on MLP news will start to crumble. So please, get it together. (And on a side-note, all the "OMG TRIXIE MAY OR MAY NOT BE COMING BACK" posts are a bit pointless. She was a one-time character, and while it'd be nice to see her again, I really don't see the need to obsess over her multiple times a day. I'm here to read pony news: REAL news. Not empty posts with Trixie.


      @*Xatz*
      I couldn't agree more. This is exactly the way my friends and I feel about this. And I have a lot of brony friends.

      @Vipera
      How does this make you "lose it"?

      @Love and Peace
      Yes, it DOES bring out the worst in us. Because it's pulling the fandom in one of the worst directions it could go.

      @DPV111
      Thank you, sir. My friend explained this to me a few months ago, and has very strong opinions on this. I agree. Did RD "tolerate" Gilda's behavior towards Pinkie and her friends? No! She gave her the boot!
      "Tolerating" is so passive. The mane six wouldn't just tolerate any wrong they see happening, they'd confront it head-on! They'd make sure that it was gone, because there's no room for that sort of thing.

      On a non-argumentative note:
      @Karl N. Hauber
      EqD runs off of Google software called "Blogger". They didn't make this site themselves, and so as a result, they can't really modify the code like that. The star box was a drag-and-drop plugin they just threw in. They can't really do that sort of tweaking to it, for better or worse.

      Back to the discussion:
      @Lafter
      "Y'know, this has got to be one of the most straight-forward, filthy themed, shameless, sitcom romances I've ever read in my life."
      So why do you like it? It doesn't BELONG here.

      @mycutiemarkisagun
      "[Clopfic] makes bronies look like absolutely horrible furry nerd peverts begging to be made fun of"
      Do we really want this?
      "You know what else "doesn't belong"? Guns, drugs, murder, oppression......fortunately, there's more than one MLP universe, you f****** HATER."

      So… multiverse theory, or what?? Where are your grounds that there's more than one universe here?
      By "universe", I mean the world that Lauren Faust created: Equestria (or Equestria as a nation in this world; we really don't know how it's laid out geographically). There really aren't other universes in MLP, in either interpretation of the word.

      ReplyDelete
    23. @DPV111

      >Horrible death and violence with no real story or message or quality for that matter. I'd take sex any day.

      WHOA WHOA WHOA BUDDY, THIS IS *AMERICA*. YOU KNOW THE SCORE. TORTURE PORN IS ACCEPTABLE FOR PRIME-TIME TV*. BUT SHOW A PENIS ON CAMERA AND ITS NC-17. THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

      * - No, srsly. Did anyone WATCH the last season of 24? Episode 21. Jesus. Jack was just ripping chunks out of dude with pliers and burning him with a blowtorch. This went on for like TWENTY MINUTES. THIS AIRED ON NETWORK TV AT 9PM. And nobody cared, apparently.

      @PurplePony

      >Regarding sex and violence in fan fiction (and literature in general): The excessive vilification of sex compared to that of violence has always puzzled me: why is sex, an act that can be potentially pleasant and beneficial for multiple parties held in worse regard than violence, a destructive act that rarely benefits anyone?

      http://youtu.be/V7aItTfqwiQ

      "Gettin' some pussy sure beats havin' a war!" - Richard Pryor

      @Alexstrazsa

      >Gang rape is a legitimate type of porn

      .........lol remind me to stay away from your browser's bookmarks. What? Huh? Gang BANG is a type of porn and its basically a synonym for "orgy". SIMULATED gang rape scenarios are common, but still relatively rare.

      Its ultra fucked up, but the only porn "scene" that regularly dabbles in honest-to-God non-consensual rape porn is.....well........child porn. If someone out there wants to take a MLP fic THERE, good fucking luck. (Law & Order: SVU crossover fic!)

      @richfiles

      >You trolls are driven by the same mental processes that once drove the inquisition and the crusades and the Salem witch trials.

      Oh wow, hyperbole much? You forgot The Holocaust, bro.

      btw, what the fuck are the Crusades doing there? The crusades caused like 1% of the death that the Mongol conquests did. And the 4th Crusade is hilarious because it ended with Christians burning and pillaging the greatest city in Christendom. History is fun.

      ReplyDelete
    24. (I won't comment on the flamewar, I won't comment on the flamewar...)
      This story was pretty good. I didn't find any errors that haven't been pointed out, and they didn't grate on me that much to begin with. I thought it was pretty funny, and it mostly seems to be a rom-com in a sleazy setting, to allow for more adult humour.

      ...Alright, hell with it, I'm commenting on the flamewar. It is definitely not clopfiction, which seems to be the problem that most people (who clearly didn't read it) claimed to have with it. Apart from leopardx, who seems to be espousing idealised Puritanism in Equestria. I know I'm essentially spitting on a bushfire here for all the good that I'll do, but this story has an inherently adult setting, and that's it. Where'd this clop debate (read: shitstorm) even come from? Oh, that's right, people one-starring and commenting without reading. If it's worth bitching about extensively in the comments, it's worth actually reading do you can get your shit right, people.

      ReplyDelete
    25. @leopardx

      >Is that all this is about for you? More hits for EqD? There's more to running a site than having hits. It's about keeping as many people happy as possible, and if you fail to do that, people WILL leave. I suggest you guys get your act together, or other sites WILL gain popularity, and your near-monopoly on MLP news will start to crumble. So please, get it together. (And on a side-note, all the "OMG TRIXIE MAY OR MAY NOT BE COMING BACK" posts are a bit pointless. She was a one-time character, and while it'd be nice to see her again, I really don't see the need to obsess over her multiple times a day. I'm here to read pony news: REAL news. Not empty posts with Trixie.

      man, shut the fuck up. Seriously.

      I troll the ish out of Seth at every opportunity, and I'M telling you to take those dire warnings and that San Angeles Morality Police act and shove it up your ass. Who the hell are YOU? Seth doesn't have to keep "as many people happy as possible" if that includes appeasing overzealous, demanding jerks like you.

      @leopardx

      There's the Canon MLP universe (w/ the caveat that retcons can complicate this), and then there's the scores of other MLP universes. There are constants (Pinkie's personality, Twilight's magic ability, layout of Ponyville, etc) and variables (Luna's personality, Trixie's magic ability, geography of Equestria, etc). Some universes are actually more idyllic than the Canon, and others are Lovecraftian nightmares. Some universes have ponies that fundamentally lack the darker aspects of human nature, others have ponies that basically behave like Warhammer 40k Orks.

      A Multiverse isn't that hard to understand.......unless, of course, you happen to be DC Comics. ಠ_ಠ

      ReplyDelete
    26. The amount of butthurt people complaining that just because they don't want sexuality in ponies, noone should ever write stories that do that is amazing. It's almost as if this place has more intolerance about clopping than Ponibooru, a site where flame wars happen every day over even the little things.
      It's also funny how people keep responding to an extremely obvious troll.

      I think the idea somewhere in this mess of comments about making people actually write reviews, not just clikk a star value, would be a good solution to longer star-bombings like this one, whereas a delay on ratings would probably only reduce the instant star-bombings.

      ReplyDelete
    27. @mycutiemarkisagun
      "man, shut the f*** up. Seriously.
      I troll the ish out of Seth at every opportunity, and I'M telling you to take those dire warnings and that San Angeles Morality Police act and shove it up your ass."

      You make it sound as if I'm threatening to take down their site myself, which is not the case. I'm just reminding him that EqD is not infallible, and if it goes away, it'll be because the users won't have interest in it's ever-growing amount of over-the-top shipfics and clopfics. You have to keep the users happy.

      "Who the hell are YOU? Seth doesn't have to keep "as many people happy as possible" if that includes appeasing overzealous, demanding jerks like you."
      I'm just a website owner with an ounce of knowledge on how to keep a site appealing. It's about the users!
      I actually run a social networking site with 14,596 and counting. Nothing compared to Facebook, obviously, but there are a ton of good bronies on there who appreciate what I do for them. The effort is worth it. But it'd be all for naught if I threw their ideas to the wind and did whatever the heck I wanted to JUST BECAUSE it's my site. This foolhardy behavior will cause them harm in the future, if they don't shape their act up.
      Compare this to PonySquare. They disregarded the users by neglecting to back up their users' data frequently.
      Sure enough, Murphy's law proved itself again, and look at what happened. They were down for nearly a week and ended up losing almost an entire month's worth of new users, posts, images, comments, etc.
      Do you think their users trust them anymore?

      "There's the Canon MLP universe (w/ the caveat that retcons can complicate this), and then there's the scores of other MLP universes. There are constants (Pinkie's personality, Twilight's magic ability, layout of Ponyville, etc) and variables (Luna's personality, Trixie's magic ability, geography of Equestria, etc).
      I'm positive that they don't change the layout of Equestria in various episodes because they're in a different universe! I'm sure that if they could've kept geographic layouts the same in different episodes, they would have! But you've got to remember that it's not a 3D rendering of the town—everything has to be laid out using 2D sprite layers. There's really no way to make the layout perfectly consistent, even throughout an individual episode.


      @Logan Warner
      "an extremely obvious troll"
      Once again, I'm a brony, just like you. You want to see a troll? Check this guy out.
      http://shelleytherepublican.com/2012/01/28/my-little-pony-friendship-is-satanic.aspx
      That guy is irrational. I'm making valid points.

      ReplyDelete
    28. @leopardx
      "The users won't have interest in it's ever-growing amount of over-the-top shipfics and clopfics."
      In fact, it's usually outright disgust.

      ReplyDelete
    29. @leopardx
      While there are some things on EqD that make me look away, this isn't really a professional news site. It's first and foremost a fansite (albeit an extremely popular and influential one) for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Not only is news posted, but EqD is a window into the brony community, which includes stuff like this. Of course, this stuff should be clearly labeled for the benefit of this site's users, and sure enough, this post has a very clear warning (though I guess it didn't have the desired effect). Trixie posts are just for fun. Accusing Seth of monopolizing MLP news is a mite unfair.

      ReplyDelete
    30. My only relevant objection here is to the bold statement requesting that people ignore the rating system. Why even have one if you're going to tell people not to use it? Why not just assign a star rating based on the pre-reader's opinions, since they're being touted as the true authorities on the issue?

      I mean, even if you ignore for a moment that aggregating the results muddies the issue in the first place, if people are going to try to use the rating system as a method of deciding how likely they are to enjoy a story, then I would think that everyone's opinions need to be considered. To do otherwise would be biased in its own right.

      ReplyDelete
    31. I don't believe I'll read it - by the time I have enough time I'll have lost interest already (yes, I do know it is really short).
      That aside, EqD isn't neccessarily the place to go for good fics, although they do shop up more often than not.

      ReplyDelete
    32. @Karl N. Hauber

      The reason people are being asked to ignore the star ratings is because it's being bombed. Just like every [Shipping] story on EqD right now, someone has gone out of their way to vote 1star 50+ times.

      As far as the pre-readers assigning star ratings, that isn't really our job. What I like and what the community likes may be different. We exist solely to see if the writing meets a certain quality standard and doesn't break our content rules. That's it. It wouldn't be fair to authors to have us give stories a rating based on how much -we- enjoyed them.

      ReplyDelete
    33. I didn't come on here to read stories about magical phallic-object-adorned equines to have my fantasties ruined by this atrocious, REAL WORLD inducing trash nonsense!

      /sarcasm.

      Oh bitch, bitch, bitch. Fanfics are fanfics. If you don't want to read it, don't read it. EQD is all encompassing. This is another aspect of fanfic writing, that is apparently very good. I'm going to read it now, and I'm sure I'll enjoy the hell out of it.

      Whoa, people get WAAAAY too uptight about their pony fandom rights.

      ReplyDelete
    34. @leopardx
      "I'm positive that they don't change the layout of Equestria in various episodes because they're in a different universe! I'm sure that if they could've kept geographic layouts the same in different episodes, they would have! But you've got to remember that it's not a 3D rendering of the town—everything has to be laid out using 2D sprite layers. There's really no way to make the layout perfectly consistent, even throughout an individual episode."

      He's not talking about different episodes of the show, he's talking about fanfiction. Each fanfic can be considered to take place in it's own universe.

      "The users won't have interest in it's ever-growing amount of over-the-top shipfics and clopfics.
      In fact, it's usually outright disgust."

      I've yet to see outright clopfiction on this site. And as for shipfics and fics with more adult content, you are aware that they do have a very large number of fans right? Do they just not count? From what I've seen most of the people who don't like them just ignore them, the one who react with outright disgust seem to be the vocal minority.

      ReplyDelete
    35. @mycutiemarkisagun
      @leopardx

      >I'm not a fan of pornography at all

      Who the fuck do you think you're fooling? Child please.


      There are those who are asexual and have no interest in sex, porn or anything that goes with it. Or in relations beyond friendship with either gender. As one with said lack-of-interest, that's actually offensive to me to call someone who lacks an interest in the "mature" categories 'immature'.

      Lauren may have stated that 'foals are born the same way as humans', but that doesn't mean we need to go into details of what ponies do before or during the act. Seth has even said that the EAD site is still thriving via the proofreaders.

      Why would it be a bad idea to have a splinter site for the more offensible content? Just because the majority of a collection already posted here is lacking in offensive material, doesn't mean it should be automatically be exempt from the rules. If someone really wants to find things of a specific content, they'll either make it themselves or search for it. This is the internet. And other stories that aren't even posted here gain more notoriety from short word-of-mouth in chats where the comment'll quickly disappear.

      I used to read ship-fics because they barely went past cuddling, but that borderline is veering more and more into the graphic points. I went into one that had been recently posted, and there-fore had little to no comments on it, and nothing discussing events because the first dozen are nothing but attention horses. Then, I came to parts that went beyond that original boundary.

      I even wrote shipfics and two grimdark, but I dropped them close to finish because they're genres I don't have interest in. I haven't even read a fic other than End of Ponies in the last half a year. The only one before that was Luna V. Threesome and wasn't expecting it to go so borderline.

      Hay, even I've been shipped with Cereal one or two times (in joke, but still).

      ReplyDelete
    36. @Seapony Maid Bonbon

      >There are those who are asexual

      Yes, and they are a very very tiny percentage of the population.

      I get what you're saying, but c'mon. If A GUY on the internet claims to "not like porn at all", there's 2:1 odds that they're full of shit. Period. Its like claiming you have NEVER MASTURBATED or that your dick is 14 INCHES, SERIOUSLY. Sure, it COULD be true, but survey says........*wrong answer buzzer*

      ReplyDelete
    37. Wow, this doesn't even have clopping in it guys... at least, not explicit.

      *adopts philsoraptor pose* And yet, the ACTUAL clopfics are very popular and have very high star ratings in my experience...

      ReplyDelete
    38. Seapony Maid Bonbon: Please see a psychiatrist, or seek other medical help. Repressing your sexuality is not healthy for your mind or body. I genuinely hope you can work through this.

      Please remember that we don't need to do anything here(heck, we don't need to be alive), and that I could take offense to a chair if I wanted to. I have not polled the site, but I would hazard a guess that most of the visitors here are comfortable enough in their sexuality and are have enough self-esteem to not worry about saucy scenes in their fanfiction. Personally, I don't appreciate you assuming otherwise.

      ReplyDelete
    39. I find it funny that saying the prereaders like it automatically labels it as "a good story".

      Just because they were hired as prereaders doesn't mean their opinion is always right.

      ReplyDelete
    40. @Love and Peace
      If they have no issues with sauce in their fiction, then why do they have issue with sauce in their pictures? It's not as though everyone who could ever look over your shoulder is illiterate.

      And I don't appreciate you assuming my lack of sexual interests a mental condition. I may have psychotic tendencies, but sexual interests have nothing to do with it.

      You assume that I choose not to have any interest in such, and to me, that is insulting.

      ReplyDelete
    41. Wasn't too bad actually. I have to agree the humour is a lot better than American Pie. Started a little slow but the interaction with Lyra is promising.
      There were a few really funny jokes in there.

      ReplyDelete
    42. @leopardx

      Can I request you stop ignoring me?

      Your entire argument from last night was based on the idea of innocence being a theme of the show. As Cutimarkisagun elaborated, it really isn't.

      Which means that your idea of porn somehow being an impossibility is purely you projecting that feeling onto the show. Your own discomfort is giving you this justification with no basis, whether you realize it or not.

      And if you claim that just because there's no evidence of such existing, then I wish to inform you that that is a Plea to Ignorance, and it is a fallacy completely.

      ReplyDelete
    43. @leopardx
      The show takes no stance whatsoever on sexual morality, if you think it does then you're projecting your own values onto it.

      Also, this isn't some new direction the fandom is headed in. The MLP:FiM fandom was pretty much born on 4chan, do I really need to say more? If anything the movement to keep things completely pure is the relatively new direction.

      My biggest concern is that the fandom is going to become increasingly polarized between purists who attack any fanwork that isn't completely innocent and those at the opposite extreme (the most hardcore shippers, grimdark enthusiasts, cloppers and trolls), and in the process the majority of fans who take a middle stance are going to be driven away.

      ReplyDelete
    44. I debated on whether I should read this. Decided to give it a try.

      I was entertained. Not a bad story.

      ReplyDelete
    45. @leopardx
      "How does this make you "lose it"?"

      Raucous laughter.

      ReplyDelete
    46. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    47. I think "American Pie style humor" doesn't give it enough credit. It reads like one of those quirky melancholy indie films.

      I don't read many fanfics but this caught my eye for some reason. I guess because it looked like such a farcry from all those fanboy grimdarks and fangirl shipfics.

      So far, I like it. It's definitely one of those "this doesn't need to be about ponies" stories but recognizing the characters is cool I guess.

      ReplyDelete
    48. @leopardx
      You do realize that, in a late November poll ON THIS SITE'S SIDEBAR, ~23% of respondents ticked the box indicating they enjoy clop, right? It is a minority, yes, but it's not as extreme as you seem to think.

      ReplyDelete
    49. @Vipera
      It has been a few months, though, so that number's had time to shift either way. However, I have noticed an escalating amount of clop being drawn by artists I follow at the request of their followers. And the chats for those artists' streams were going from 'who should I request to play Edward Elric?' or something similar, to 'what pony can we put in a compromising position and who will take advantage of her?'

      ReplyDelete
    50. Ok early impressions, gritty underbelly stuff that will never be canon. I do enjoy reading this genre, but not with the ponies.

      Good story though, but it belongs more in the furry realms than pony.

      Story itself is good, but in the wrong setting.

      ReplyDelete
    51. @Seapony Maid Bonbon
      Is that so? Hmm, I hope that the brony community as a whole isn't shifting toward that paradigm.

      Still, one could argue that there has always been a percentage of fan-made content dedicated to clop; a growing fanbase means more fan-made content, including clop.

      ReplyDelete
    52. @Pikari
      Part of it is because more and more fans are wanting to make money off something, and existing artists are constantly saying, 'Sex sells. If you want to make money, sex is always wanted,' and it pushes their mind to think they need to draw clop to make money.

      ReplyDelete
    53. @DarkJester
      *ahem* Well, actually... that's kind of our job. Seth posts stories that we think are good and written to a certain standard. Luckily, there's a lot of us, so a multitude of genres get through all the time.

      ReplyDelete
    54. *deep breath*
      I'm tired of arguing. Please don't cuss me out, just hear me out. The overall problem here is this:
      This kind of writing and fictional material is what drives people away from this fandom, because people will think that we're just a bunch of cloppers and furries. Not to offend anyone here who is that way, but let's get real: the average Joe doesn't understand that sort of thing, and is driven away by that.
      These issues make it so much harder to show MLP: FiM's friendly, brightly-colored world of adventure, friendship, and magic to people, because so many people are perverting it. And they're not just doing it in private, but this stuff is getting featured on what really is the brony frontpage of the internet. I myself avoided EqD the first few months of being a brony because the first day I was on, they had a clopfic on the site that I started reading (not yet knowing the meaning of terms like "clop" and "shipping"). It scared me away from the fandom for a while, but eventually I came back.
      What I'm saying is that this is giving the wrong first impression of what we're about to those who have not yet joined the herd.

      Thanks for reading, I apologize for being so argumentative last night and today. I apologize if I offended anyone as well.

      ReplyDelete
    55. I for one enjoyed it. I was reading this during one of my free periods in school and I nearly burst out laughing quite a few times

      ReplyDelete
    56. @leopardx

      What, and the half-dozen grimdark wankfests that go up a week aren't?

      Seriously, if you're worried about offending the sensibilities of a random newbie who happens to wander across the site, I'd be a lot more concerned with the kind of scenes you'll find in FO:E or Project Horizons than anything this fic has to offer.

      ReplyDelete
    57. EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP AND READ THE DAMN FIC.

      ReplyDelete
    58. Very well made story, I did not think that I would be able to get very far into this one because of the content but i was wrong. Well done.

      ReplyDelete
    59. lol Oh you GUUIIEEEYYSSSS :D
      Y U all such silly-willies?
      I lurv yoo all caz u guuuyys are teh best.

      So silly.



      I'm sticking around for the shitz and giggles. Entertaining so far. It has its flaws, but its also pretty well written. Fun fic, I'll keep my eye on this one baby!

      ...
      ...
      ...


      GGGGGUUUUUIIIIIEEEEEEYYYYSSSS! :D

      ReplyDelete
    60. Meh, the general public can eat a dick. I'll give this one a read.

      ReplyDelete
    61. I'm going to say this one is a good read because it is funny. It is a complete change of perspective on ponyville and gives the society a more "realistic" feel to it. I really do hope it gets more updates and a good ending. This story is too good to not be finished.

      ReplyDelete
    62. @leopardx
      Really?, wow, I'm glad that you understood my crazy comment, even though I made terrible grammar mistakes.

      I just wrote a comment here (I don't usually write comments on EqD) because I'm sick and tired of seeing how people like you are constantly "bashed" by cloppers (I don't know if the dudes you were talking to are cloppers or not, but they are reacting the same way as cloppers do)

      you just wrote a comment "please seth, no more nsfw stuff" and then some stupid bronies started telling you that your opinion is shit, all I saw in this comments section was:

      -"don't force your opinions on people" ironic, because they are forcing their opinions on you.

      -"your opinions/arguments are invalid, also you're an ignorant, and I'm right".

      -"GTFO of EqD".

      -"stupid theories about how lesbian sex and porn belongs in MLP universe and fandom shit".

      -"you are a troll"

      -"if you removed saucy stuff, you would have to remove grindark stuff", seriously, this is a common excuse to justify rule 34 and clop/porn stuff.

      -a comment by this guy "mycutiemarkisagun", seriously, don't listen to him, he clearly looks like a whore attention.

      dude,you shouldn't be sorry for this, if people like you didn't react in a negative manner, the nsfw shit and the sick part of the fandom would be totally embraced, and as happened with furries, the reputation of the fandom would be completely destroyed.

      I completely agree with you, also, you need to now that you are not the only one who is not concerned about this problem.

      ReplyDelete
    63. Oh lordy, why do people get their pantys all wet over this one? It's just a more MATURE fan fic, that's all, lol star bombing. Fagets, nobody's asking you to read it. *Sigh* Bronies... xD

      ReplyDelete
    64. MAYBE SETH JUST MEANT TO TROLL US ALL AND THEIR JUST LAUGHING AT ALL OF US? Cause I know I am. lol keep the flame going. That's some nice "LoveNtolerate" I'm seeing here. xD

      ReplyDelete
    65. I wish I could rate this comment thread alone 5 stars, haha.

      I wonder if the author is going to continue the story after all this? I actually legitimately liked it even if it isn't 5-star material.

      ReplyDelete
    66. @*Xatz*
      Thanks, it means a lot to know that I'm not the only one on here who feels this way.
      Thanks for writing that! :)
      Add me on BronyNet? (that's the site I made that I was talking about earlier)
      http://bronynet.com/main.php#profile-1

      ReplyDelete
    67. @leopardx
      Dude, it's fine. Everyone's entitled to an opinion just like everyone's entitled to disagree with an opinion.

      And if people get offended: tough. We're (mostly) mature individuals. We can deal with it.

      ReplyDelete
    68. I see less than 25 comments about the fic itself. Make of that what you will.

      ReplyDelete
    69. @Alexstrazsa

      Yes, except that it's usually called "gang bang", "violation" (for lesbian), or "rape-fantasy" (if the word "rape" is even used), and is pretty much never depicted realistically.
      But yeah, rape fantasy is common and popular and actually pretty mainstream as far as fetishes go in general.

      ReplyDelete
    70. @Love and Peace

      Love and Tolerance are great. I was simply responding to the fact you were upset that "bronies" who are supposed to "love and tolerate" are hypocrites as soon as something they dislike shows up.

      I was explaining that the reason for this is that the phrase is not intrinsically linked to the core of the fandom (The Show) and that the phrase is often spouted disingenuously anyway due to it's origins.

      I am not against honest love and tolerance, I just believe you would benefit from a stronger distinction between the fandom and the show so as not to be disappointed as easily in others.

      ReplyDelete
    71. @mycutiemarkisagun

      The reason I don't want to read FO:E is not the CONTENT, it's the PREMISE.
      I just have no interest in the story what so ever.

      I'm actually rather picky and hypercritical if you didn't notice.

      For instance, I'll read "The Creature that Came to Ponyville" but not "Pony Space" because of the characterizations.

      It just that the show only interests me for the characters and the humor.

      When the characters I like aren't there or are portrayed in a way I dislike, I lose interest immediately.

      FO:E is just too far removed from my preferences for me to bother with it.

      ReplyDelete
    72. @leopardx


      'With the exception of catastrophe events like NMM and Discord?'

      Except for that little bit of tyranny and dystopia?

      You can't exclude the two most glaring examples of evidence which contravene your theory and then state, 'but for THAT my theory holds.' No. You need to address them.

      What happened with Nightmare Moon? A once pure pony fell from grace and transformed herself into an evil being with sinister intentions she hoped to inflict as an everlasting revenge on her subjects, and for which she had to be banished to the pony equivalent of the underworld. Faust was clear about the dark side of plans on her DA.

      I also think Equestria being in a state of unending disharmony and chaos before Luna and Celestia qualifies as dark. Neither of these are incidental. They are central elements of the story. Because it is a show for children they will be resolved happily, but you can't deny that an element of the terrors in the external world have root in our beloved Equestria as well.

      ReplyDelete
    73. @leopardx

      Look. All I can say is you are wrong. All your statements are opinion, not fact. All your opinions are disagreed with by the majority. Your perspective is valid but not popular nor relevant. The fandom is a spectrum like a rainbow. Some fans like the green and blue areas, others like the red and yellow ones. That's what a fandom is, a community of fans each with their own interests. Adult humans are usually sexual and more often than not tend to sexualize things that aren't sexual. It's not wrong or bad, it's healthy and natural. Not everyone will like it but the fandom is for the fans, not for the outsiders. There are plenty of ppl who watch the show and nothing but, a huge % of the fans avoid ALL fanfiction no matter how good and clean it is. The fandom is more than big enough for everyone and EqD does a marvelous job of staying middle of the road and appealing to all. People who want the more extreme stuff can search for it. People who want the tame stuff only can filter the "offensive" content. The only "wrong" thing we could do is ostracize and segregate a portion of out fandom simply because some don't like what they like.

      ReplyDelete
    74. As for sex in MLP, this isn't MLP. Part of the point of any fandom (beyond loving the show itself) is to extend the universe that we love beyond what could ever be shown in canon. There's no need to replicate verbatim in our own stories what we see on our screens every week. Nor any need to justify it unless the thing you're slaughtering/fucking up is the characterization or storytelling.


      But what I really fail to see is how sex is anathema to either innocence or the show itself. Adults sharing physical pleasure with someone/pony they like/love seems, well, loving. It doesn't matter that you don't see the literal sex act, the idea itself can be reasonably extrapolated based on what we know of Equestria- and not just marital sex.

      I'd like you to account for Spike's infatuation with Rarity. Yes, it's playful, but he has been known to drool with lust over her for clearly other than purely Platonic reasons. You aren't going to see them get it on, but if it was out of character with the spirit of the show, the implication would not be there to begin with.

      War and evil are canon. Sex and lust are both canon. The fact that they are only obliquely referenced and not the focus of the show does not make them incompatible with the universe. And certainly not incompatible with the universe as intepreted by adult fans, which you also conceded to being legitimate when you acknowledged the writer's cheeky nod to extramarital sex.

      ReplyDelete
    75. I don't see a problem with the story being here, since the pre-readers believe it's worthwhile enough and pony enough. It's clearly labelled so people who won't enjoy the premise (like me) won't read it.

      What I do question, is the recommendation to ignore the star rating. It's fine to encourage a story be read, but it's a little odd to suggest EqD's bronies don't know what they like. Note there's a recent shipping story with a 5-star user rating. Maybe intolerance is not the only reason some stories are poorly rated?

      I don't feel it's fair for me to rate typical[Shipping] stories. When I read a story with that label, it's never because I want shipping. But I would suggest the characterization is often dismal. Take FlutterMac as an example. What would bring two deep introverts, with no strong common interest, into a romantic relationship? Stories that don't even attempt to answer such questions, but simply manipulate the characters arbitrarily, aren't living up to the show.

      @DPV111

      Actually, from a pony characterization and humor standpoint, FO:E is a good read. The potential problem is that this is more the Fallout universe than the Equestria we know. That goes beyond an R-rating. Not only do you have Raider ponies attempting rape and murder, but you have to accept that the cast would let things deteriorate this way. (Hearing how the Mane 6 were involved in the apocolypse, is arguably the strongest pull the story has for much of its length.)

      Where I agree completely, is that not every story is for everybody. Bronies can't even agree on what episodes are great. Why would their fanfiction tastes all be the same?

      ReplyDelete
    76. @Kits

      I found Chapter 3 entertaining myself.

      ReplyDelete
    77. @Astrophel Agonistes

      I think you're missing that some bronies enjoy Equestria being a fairly innocent near-utopia. They don't necessarily want to go beyond canon to some seamy side.

      That extra-marital lust is natural for people is hard to argue with. That doesn't mean it isn't sinful, and putting all manner of human depravities on ponies isn't everyone's cup of tea. As for Spike, does turning a kindergarten-like "crush" into an interspecies child sex fantasy really make the show more appealing?

      Now there are bronies who enjoy a less innocent view of ponies, and I'd agree that trying to hide or censor this sort of thing is a waste of time. And certainly we'd be losing something valuable if all mature fanfiction disappeared. But trying to force acceptance of pony vice is worse than a waste of time - it's harmful to some bronies' enjoyment of the show.

      ReplyDelete
    78. @WhitFox

      It's not the characterization so much as it's the complete lack of the CHARACTERS I like. The mane 6, CMC, or Princesses aren't there in any recognizable form.

      I can count on one hand the number of fics I have read that don't have the main characters as major players.

      ReplyDelete
    79. Gave it a 5... this story is very funny and does not deserve all the shit it's taking.

      Really, people if you object to the content, there's ample warning in the description to tell you that this probably isn't your cup of tea and you should read something else. Not that anything in this story is that objectionable to an adult reader who isn't incredibly sheltered, IMHO... It's NOT a clopfic and while certainly a bit raunchy there's nothing any more horrible than, say, Friendly Uncle's "Fluffershy" (Another story I thought was hilarious, BTW.)

      Everyone relax.... it's just a fic.

      ReplyDelete
    80. @DPV111
      I agree with you for the most part. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that adult humans sexualize everything, but I acknowledge that there are people who like to do and enjoy doing just that.

      I agree that the fandom is for the fans, but at the same time, I believe it should put its best foot forward for the outsiders, the non-bronies. Not that we should cater to them, but just keep their perception of the brony community in mind. This applies the most to Equestria Daily because it is a representative of the brony community--perhaps the most well-known representative on the Internet.

      That said, I also agree that Seth and the others have done an admirable job, especially considering that they do all of this on their own free time. Clearly marking potentially questionable content, as this fic was, is a good compromise, I think.

      ReplyDelete
    81. Why are so much of u saying it shouldn't be on here...i thought it was pretty good

      ReplyDelete
    82. @*Xatz*
      I'm not forcing my opinion on anyone, everyone has the right to dislike and want to avoid whatever they want. But you seem to be telling people that they don't have the right to enjoy things they do like. The fact is you've yet to provide any real argument about why they shouldn't, you just seem to take it as a given and call anyone who disagrees with you sick. That doesn't work.

      And seriously, why is Rule 34 necessarily worse than grimdark?

      ReplyDelete
    83. Hahaha, that was fun, I hope more chapters come out soon :D

      ReplyDelete
    84. All these comments proove one thing: Humans.

      ReplyDelete
    85. *Views description and raises an eyebrow cautiously* I...Am not sure if my heart is strong enough for a sadfic, but for the sake of my own curiosity, I'll read it when I can.

      ReplyDelete
    86. @The Seventh Wonderbolt

      It's not a sadfic, at least not yet. The only "sad" thing so far is

      SPOILER













      Dash has been kicked out of the Wonderbolts for fraternization and is turning into a clinically depressed alcoholic.

      ReplyDelete
    87. I thought this was a nice read. It's definitely not the best written story and I've certainly read stories that made me react more often and more extreme than this one did but the description made it clear what was going to be in it and I figured "What the hay?" I bookmarked it before reading the comments (and I'm glad I did). There's maybe one part where the visualization gets kinda steamy but again that was mentioned in the description clear as day. It was within my expectations and managed to get me to laugh a few times. Especially the endings of each chapter. This guy knows how to end chapters with a funny note.

      And while I'm here and talking about it: my take on fanfics. I used to stay away from them like the plague for pretty much the same reason all of this hate is coming from. I thought every fic was just some dumb love story with more love than story and was just racing through the (lack of) plot to get to the juicy parts. Well, my first pony fic, Silent Ponyville, proved that wrong in every way for me. Sure, in the later parts there are shipping bits that play a role in the story but anything that COULD be nsfw sexually is simply implied and glanced over. Everything else was pure grimdark (but not overly gory) fun. From there I've expanded to shipfics and those have been fairly tame. Now, as long as the description is intriguing enough I'll probably consider a read. The key is, really, to just disconnect what you know of the show and read the fic for what it is. Because it's not the show, it's something completely different. My experience has told me that what the description says is a safe bet of what you're going to read and gives fair warning to anything border-line anything. And besides, with the break and then the link after the break you would have to accidentally click on the link twice (and if the fic is on FiMF you would have to add another accidental click) so it's not like Seth is forcing this stuff onto people.

      Anyway, I rant again. I tend to do that after reading all of the comments on a post (wow I really need to find another hobby...). TL;DR good fic, don't knock it till you try it. If it's not your style (which is clear as day described in the description) skip it.

      ReplyDelete
    88. Sees bottom of comment page.

      Sees "Next button"

      http://www.myfacewhen.com/88/

      Presses "Next button"

      @ASDFASFADSFADFADF

      As soon as I saw your screen name, you lost all credibility. Just saying. However, for all I know, you might not actually be a parasprite.

      /dick-headed moment (hey, we all need one!)

      And by the way, don't count on me to look at any of the following comments.

      I liked this fic a lot. I don't clop (people aren't going to believe me, I know that), but I really don't give a damn if someone does. Yes: it can leave a bad impression on new ponies; however, I also think that if they read it, they would find it entertaining. On that note, Seth strongly implied that they didn't put that sort of thing up often in the description, so if they bothered to pay attention, they should notice that.

      /semi-neutral stance description

      I did notice a carriage return in the middle of a paragraph, but no grammar errors which were bad enough to make it unreadable.

      /review

      Have a nice read, everypony, even if its not this.

      ReplyDelete
    89. >his only employee quits, and he hires Lyra as a new one. Almost immediately, his life becomes more interesting
      -Random OC coupled with Lyra ?...and not her with Bonbon ? *Bring torches* Let’s see...

      CH.1 :

      >Contains 12 little sticks of heaven. Well...make that 11. >Damn those unicorn smokers.
      -...(sigh) ...really doesn’t start well.
      *Insert random unnecessary mentions of ‘cigarettes’ and drugs, because it’s cooooooool and rebel(or whatever) and original, since virtually no one add that in their story...* ...there’s a reason why virtually all stories don’t ‘actively’ use or even mention those, because unless you have a pretty darn GOOD reason for them to be/exist in MLP:FiM, they just don’t add anything of value to the story. (Also, sex and ‘’drugs(or whatever poisons)’’ aren’t mandatory together)

      >I still think Celestia could've been more creative with it than Triple X's.
      -Really ? 3 times ‘X’... is his cutie mark ? Which is the title too ? ... ...I don’t think Celestia is the one to blame here. -_-

      >What kind of dad names their only son "shady fuck"? Thanks, old man. May you rest in peace.
      -Suddenly I wonder, if the author forgot we were on the MLP:FiM pony-world, and not on Earth-Humans ? I could switch them here, and wouldn’t see a difference...

      >The Doctor and I alternate the late night shift
      -The hell ? Don’t tell me you dragged THE Doctor Hooves into this ?
      Makes just as much sense for him to work in an X-shop as it would, if you had taken Big Mac... which is very little.

      >"I'm serious, Sly. These hooves have sent many a mare begging for more. And now, I think I'm going to put that skill to use. 'The Love Doctor's Counseling for Stallions'.
      -Good gracious... this is a massacre of THE good ‘ol Doctor Hooves...

      ... Ok. I know I will be a bit harsh here, but... I’m in the impression that the author just took a few characters he liked, and then twisted and jammed them (barely acknowledging pre-existing material on them) to fit into whatever setting or roles he wanted them around his OC ...
      ... What I mean, I think, is that it’s like ; instead of taking THE background pony(ies) we all know, and THEN *slightly* tweak the character(s) to better fit the story, the author went totally backward and created a random OC, and then pasted a name on it and tried to tweak the character to resemble the Background Pony ‘it’ is supposed to be ...

      ... Trying to finish, at the very -least-, this part. Fast reading required ...

      -----

      ... First part done and... not even a single remote mention of the character that is supposed to be the main reason for the story to be, Lyra ? Oooook ? ...

      Well... it’s really far from what I was expecting... no special or particular detail that could have caught my interest (and I can find essentially anything interesting, IF it’s actually ‘well presented’, really.)... So, unless I read in the comment that something BIG is happening later, I think this part will be all I will read...... a first for me.

      ReplyDelete
    90. Enjoying the story so far... (which is weird, but oh well)

      Can't wait to see next chapter (well I can but... you know what, never mind)

      ReplyDelete
    91. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    92. Oh boy, at first it was awkward but once you get past the initial shock of porn in Ponyville, but it's REALLY bucking hilarious! And totally not a clop fic.

      ReplyDelete
    93. Fun story so far, I'm enjoying it. And yay for Chapter 4 being posted :D

      ReplyDelete
    94. Yes, it updated, let the controversy re-commence!

      Fantastic chapter, pretty good stuff.

      ReplyDelete
    95. @fomycutiemarkisagun
      You're right... holocaust counts to in terms of the mindless, brainwashed intolerant mental workings of blind hate. I influenced my own examples by thinking very far back.

      As for the Crusades, I'm pretty sure they pissed off some people in the region, and set off a chain of hate and prejudice that lives even today. I know there are other influences, but being Christian myself makes me very shamed over the things the old church did. It's not a proud legacy.

      The plain and simple truth, is the world is full of hate, intolerance, and trolls, and I don't see them disappearing any time soon.

      A true shame too...

      ReplyDelete
    96. No more hate! :3 Time to just chill out, everypony!

      It goes like this: No one EVER argued about anything they didn't care about. That means the person you're arguing with? Yeah, he CARES about the subject in one way or another. That should be enough reason for you to give him due respect and visa versa.

      =3 Now, let's all brohoof and agree to disagree. it's obvious we all feel strongly about this stuff and nopony wants to budge on it. Continuing to kick up dust is going to cause lines to get crossed and that just doesn't need to happen, mmmkay? No excuses!

      Okay? n.n Okay...

      ReplyDelete
    97. @*Xatz*

      lol, the Power of Friendship is here to save leopardx!

      Now you two can hang out and act butthurt about the existence of non-Normal tagged fics.....together!

      @DPV111

      whelp, to each his own

      but as far as post-apocalyptic entertainment goes, FO:E makes the games and The Walking Dead show (amazing pilot excluded) look like crap

      @richfiles

      eh the idea that Muslims are still pissed about the Crusades is greatly exaggerated. The only people still seriously asshurt about that era of history are Serbian nationalist Milosevic types. We forget that 100 years ago, secular modernization was ALL THE RAGE in the Muslim world. What happened? Israel and post WW2 geopolitics happened. To quote a recent article, "The question, 'How can we be like the West?' got replaced by 'How can we resist the West?'"

      IIRC, the Crusades brutalized Jews worse than anybody. And like I said before, the 4th Crusade Sack of Constantinople.....read about it. Just an big unbelievable sack of fail. They actually had the balls to trash the Hagia Sophia. It was so bad that when Rome offered to help defend the city from the Turks centuries later, the response was literally "Thanks but no thanks, we feel safer w/ the Muslims in charge". XD fucking history man. The 4th Crusade should be a epic period piece dark satire directed by The Coen Brothers, I swear.

      @Lafter

      >let's all brohoof and agree to disagree-

      I DON'T AGREE TO THAT ಠ_ಠ

      ReplyDelete
    98. > doesn't understand why people don't read it if they don't like it.

      ReplyDelete
    99. Entertaining chapter.
      A little exposition heavy.

      ReplyDelete
    100. i'm a big fan of stories that have mature elements but aren't just pure sex. so while the writing isn't quite spectacular, it is still a very well written story and should not be judged for the fact that it has sex in it.

      ReplyDelete
    101. Oh this is too good, whoever's downvoting this has got a vanilla sense of humor or they're just trolling

      ReplyDelete
    102. @WhitFox

      >I think you're missing that some bronies enjoy Equestria being a fairly innocent near-utopia. They don't necessarily want to go beyond canon to some seamy side.

      Sup bro, I've got the best solution ever for people who enjoy it being innocent and don't want to go beyond canon; only watch the show.

      ReplyDelete
    103. This story was actually good! It had me laughing my ass out every time the chapters end.

      ReplyDelete
    104. This story is basically mumblecore Equestria style. Now I'll be disappointed if Lyra turns out to be voiced by anyone but Greta Gerwig.

      And BTW, wtf kinda wacky-ass tangent have you ponies gone off on? The Crusades? Whatever. This story is awesome. If you can't see that I pity you.

      ReplyDelete
    105. Not going to read the fic but gotta say that "it's more mature. except american pie humor stle" made me laugh. Hard.

      ReplyDelete
    106. Getting interesting.
      Pretty heavily grounded in full alternate reality at this point, so it's easier to accept character and canon inconsistencies.

      ReplyDelete
    107. ElMikkino, just wanted to say I dig the story. It's a damned shame there's so much drama about. Haters, as they say, gonna hate. For my part, I was very excited to see that you'd updated today, and I enjoyed the new chapter a lot. Keep doing what you're doing!

      ReplyDelete
    108. Honestly man, keep on doing what you're doing. Even if I am easily amused and my words mean jackshit, this gives me a laugh. Keep it up, the tad more mature-comedy type fics are few and far between!

      ReplyDelete
    109. ...and then only the people who wanted to read the story were left. With a two-star rating and over 2100 votes. Ah, well, c'est la vie. Seems like the purists from the earlier flamewar have a voice in Bon-Bon. Keep up the hilarious, polarising work ElMikkino!

      ReplyDelete
    110. That's right, Bon Bon is such a bitch. You tell em.

      ReplyDelete
    111. Eh, haters gonna hate. I for one get most of my pony dose through fics (after episodes) and even though this fic is a lot different from what I normally read, I find it so different and outlandish enough as to actually be a breath of fresh air in its own funny messed up way. Im not so hipster as to read fics about ponies that haven't even been written yet, but I for one don't mind the occasional oddball to keep things interesting. 10 out of 10 to the author for persisting with this effort :) cheers!

      ReplyDelete
    112. There are so many things you've done right in this story! First, I like the element of predestination, what with the name and the cutie mark. Sly's air of detachment is also great, with his own unawareness of/amazement at the videos his stocks and his fantastic line, "It's just porn." I loved the scene where you showed Sly flipping through channels, and really demonstrated how running the shop changed the way he thinks... or maybe it doesn't count as a change if you grew up that way?

      The hints of awkwardness in his interactions with Lyra, especially the awkward bomb at the end of chapter 3, were all great. I also appreciated Lyra's dose of reality: college really isn't that crazy! Sure, there are parties going every night. But the people who actually go to parties every night don't stick around for more than a semester or two before they have to drop out.

      I like that Sly knows his customers and their tastes. It makes me think he likes his job, and perhaps his customers, more than he initially lets on. Besides, it gives me and him something good in common, even if we are in very different businesses! Always easier to care about a character you have something in common with. :)

      I was glad he felt bad about his passing thoughts of spreading stories about Big Mac. I mean, yeah, it's funny, but it wouldn't be funny for him to go around telling every one! And finally, I enjoyed your interpretation of Lyra's friends. The twins bit was new, too! Funny and unexpected. You did a great job with it.

      Over all, this is a great story. I'm glad I gave it a chance, and I can't wait to get to read some more! :D

      ReplyDelete
    113. Good stuff ElMikkino. Keep on doin what you're doin.

      ReplyDelete
    114. I'm glad I gave this story a shot.

      It's surprisingly funny and well done.

      ReplyDelete
    115. Keep it up. I can't help but think you have strings of Douglass Adams in your writings. Anyway, I know this isn't the Equestria I know and love, this is Equestria after the bronies find a way to get there and taint the pureness.(I keep Thinking how a captian's uniform on Discord would be awesome.)Even without the element of fan destruction of a utopia, this story is just silly and amusing. Will continue to read.

      ReplyDelete
    116. /shrug/ It appeals to my sense of humor. I'd give it 3 and a half, maybe 4 stars for making me laugh and being an enjoyable read. I rated 5 to try and counteract the bombings.

      ReplyDelete
    117. Great story, keeps my laughing through each chapter. This is not a clopfic, just a funny story about an awkward pony who runs an adult video store.

      ReplyDelete
    118. Yeah, what other people have been saying.

      This isn't a clopfic at all.

      ReplyDelete
    119. Wow, EQD - 2/5 fimfiction - about 4,5/5. Looks like it's worth reading xd

      ReplyDelete
    120. Terrified but I'll try it because my friend keeps suggesting it -.o

      ReplyDelete
    121. Wow, that was an epic flame war. Haven't seen anything like that since I quit using The Straight Dope 6 years ago. Which is why I shy away from forums now.

      Anyway, I find this story entertaining, even if it is somewhat uncomfortable to read. I gave it 5 to counter the star bombing, even though its a solid 4. It's very funny, and Sly's life is sad, but not remarkably so. I was far more upset about Rainbow Dash, and I suspect she is the one about to receive the redemption treatment.

      ReplyDelete
    122. Eh, kinda ended on a whimper. Not bad, but the last chapter just wasn't quite as interesting for some reason. Still overall a very enjoyable story.

      ReplyDelete
    123. That Lyra image's eyes. They're, uh... yeah.


      On a story note the song was an awesome choice and it read pretty much with perfect pacing. A very good job!

      ReplyDelete
    124. oh gawd it has a relevant picture now? lols bumping this one up to read soon as I'm done with Night's Favored Child here in awhile xD

      ReplyDelete
    125. also skimming through all those comments and seeing some of the crazy things said really made me giggle ^^

      Considering the stuff that has been posted in the past and the amount of Grimdarks we get on a near daily basis, no one complains but you put xxx and porn shop on the tags and everyone comes a brawling xD

      Seth posts the stories on the site, pre-readers are responsible for deciding what can and cannot get through and send them to Seth. People thinking Seth posts these for MORE VIEWS? LAWL have you LOOKED at the pageview meter at all before this fic ever came on here? pffh you people are silly dillies *^^*


      Read what you like! frankly I don't like this version of equestria since a lot of stuff really feels off and Derpy being a super ugly pony? BRONY PLEASE! -> http://raikoh14.deviantart.com/art/psychedelic-Muffin-285132044 <- girl gots more swag then bakeries have bread :P

      But guess what? it's just another universe in the massive multiverse that is fanfics. There are countless fics out there, (and mind you I read real novels and I love fantasy and sci-fi with the occasional conspiracy novel) so don't focus so much on 1 single fic that you don't like just because it has a totally gritty and per versed view of ponies in the story.

      It's like OMG some fics actually don't consider Octavia to be a lesbian! oh my! but is still friends with Vinyl some how :P

      Or Twira? Yeah, that one story was hilarious lol <3 Lyra obsessing over Twilight and kidnaps her and tries to make her hers lol oh and you thought Pinkie had crazy imaginary friends! Falcon Awesome was awesome xD


      After seeing that Fluttershy episode though one can't quite see Equestria as an perfect paradise with so many well not so nice ponies in it polluting the once kind air the show exuded :P

      Also, FO:E is worst then this fic by far in terms of grim and clopness, yet best read most will read in a Grimdark which this fic here is not, it's a slice of life minor ship fic with downer moments hence the sad tag.


      Off-topic... I totally teared up when Fluttershy said those mean things to Pinkie and Rarity... FLUTTERBITCH PLEASE it's like she thinks taking care of spoiled animals that only eat, crap and sleep all day is any less frivolous? I mean teaching squirrels to DANCE?! that's gonna come in handy! *rofl*

      ReplyDelete
    126. Oh a new chapter, good to see this isn't finished like I thought.

      Poor Fluttershy though. Wow.

      I do so love Pinkie.

      ReplyDelete
    127. Last 2 chapter, 6 & 7, I haven't enjoyed at all. Gone is the witty humor, and the Sly/Lyra interaction. These last two have been all about the mane 6, and really breaking the stories immersion for me. Please return to the original story.

      ReplyDelete
    128. Oh wow.

      The smell in here is horrendous! Gyah! Seth, open a window - this is starting to smell like stale troll!

      I like this story, but I'm almost enjoying the flailing opinions moreso! The parry and thrust of a good ol' "in my opinion" battle! Mm, the blood of the combatants boiling, the cold sweat dotting wide-eyed onlookers...

      Oh, THAT'S the smell. Carry on! ^_^

      ReplyDelete
    129. >mfw not only did I used to know the guy who writes this, but he's 15.

      ReplyDelete
    130. @Dead Rising Sieve (Pach)
      "That exhilarate the horde and exterminate the weak. Exicution level X. No way to explain it. Im XXX Bitch Tripple X Rainin"
      Excision 2011Shambala

      ReplyDelete
    131. Sethisto, I blame you for NOT turning on IntenseDebate!!!

      ReplyDelete
    132. Hmm... seems a bit odd, but also somewhat interesting. Well, on to my reading list it goes.

      ReplyDelete
    133. I Read this on Fim:fics, still good

      ReplyDelete
    134. Ah, this again, never did get around to reading it, maybe I will now that it is complete.
      So Controversial!

      ReplyDelete
    135. It's... over?
      Spike: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      ReplyDelete
    136. This was a great fic. It never deserved the hatestorm it received, and the starbombers can suck it.

      ReplyDelete
    137. Can I just point out....this is not a clopfic. It's a very well written and entertaining story. Give it a chance, guys.

      ReplyDelete