[Adventure]
Author: DSNesmith
Description: Three hundred years after the fall of Princess Luna, Equestria teeters on the brink of disaster. Bitter political infighting and power-hungry nobles threaten to tear the country apart in a bloody civil war, while in the south old enemies prepare to reclaim their ancient homeland from the ponies.
As Princess Celestia desperately strives to hold together her splintered nation, she sends a young pony on a quest to the northern lands that border Equestria in order to plead for aid against the threat of Grypha. This unlikely messenger is Rye Strudel, the flightless, magic-less half-breed son of a guard and a baker. Rye must do the impossible and unite the thanes of the north... for if he cannot, there may be no home to come back to.The Age of Wings and Steel
Love, Sugar, and Sails (Sequel Part 12!)
Additional Tags: Alicorn vs. Pegacorn, High Fantasy, World Building, Long
78 comments:
Seems like a cool story...
lol 300 After Luna
Sounds good…
Also, thank Celestia the first commenter had the wisdom not to say… well, you know what I mean.
Pegacorn?
I beg your pardon.
wait a sec i might be wrong but that world seems a bit similar to cyrodill (TES:IV oblivion)
Been a while since we've had a proper fantasy fiction.
Having just googled a map of cyrodil, it doesn't look anything alike. Nor does it look like anything from Tamriel.
Though there is a southern-most province named Breton apparently...
Now THIS sounds like an interesting adventure story.
Seems like a good start. I don't know if it's just that I've read a lot or what, but can definitely see the influences of various things on this. Some Bujold, some Dragon Age, maybe some Codex Alera, though there's a lot of shared setpieces and I might be wrong. I can't rate it yet though, I'll want to see how it progresses.
As Celestia is the only canonical character, I can only comment that I approve of the characterization for her.
Wait huh? What's a peg acorn?
Heh, the massively detailed map of Equestria made my iPod freeze =o.
Also, aren't pegacorn and Alicorn the same thing?
This is epic, i hope theres more!
Heh, the massively detailed map of Equestria made my iPod freeze =o.
Also, aren't pegacorn and Alicorn the same thing?
I don't think this is a spoiler: in the context of the story a pegacorn has wings and a horn, but they're essentially nonfunctional. There's no further explanation but that's the gist of it.
Reminds me of the story I was writing, Stalliongrad, somewhat...
Stalliongrad.... Please, make it something other than THAT battle....
I guess now that we have Cadence the chance of Alicorn OC's increased a little...
Not really complaining about that though, and I'm really curious about this fic, looks like the kind of epic and long tale I will spend days reading. (or at least I hope it is)
*adds to the list to read later*
Damn.. I was hoping France would be on the map :P.
This is good. I have to admit, I was afraid Rye might be a "Gary Stu" (male equivalent of a Mary Sue) character, but after reading this first installment, I can definitely say he isn't. This is a really interesting take on Equestria's history. I will definitely keep reading this one. :)
Pegacorn?
Rye Strudel?
Not sure if wut.
Having read most of this before hand, I can say you're all in for a treat.
Sigh... I detest the use of "pegacorn." It just sounds so stupid. What the hell is wrong with alicorn?
@Daetrin
ahahaha, oh god i am so laughing...poor pony XD
Right- pegacorn =/= alicorn. Sort of had a similiar "what if..." idea floating aruond in my head, and this writer has done it first and better. Whereas an alicorn is all three types, and rather exceptional, the pegacorn (like the name you came up with by the way) has a both wings and a horn, and (I expect in this story) is rather weaker with both aspects than a normal pegasus and unicorn would be. the pegacorn is half unicorn, half pegasus, so that both heritages are rather vestigial.
So I'm presuming anyway. Correct me if I'm wrong for the context of this story. Will read when time allows.
very interesting, I'll admit I had doubts in my own interest in a story so far in the past that does not involve my favorite ponies... You've caught my attention quite well. Your inclusion of what seems to be ancestors of the six makes me happy. The pegacorn is an interesting concept, neither the earth ponies strength nor the true abilities of flight or magic, this combination has all the weaknesses with none of the strengths. Sadly enough I bet it would be detested by all three races... Poor bastard.
Well written, a fun twist on Celestia's rule in ancient times (not so peaceful hah!) and an interesting protagonist, a pegacorn! well ain't that a new thing. Following this one!
From what I've gathered from comments, in this story, Alicorn and Pegacorn are completely different things, yes? An Alicorn being something like a goddess, while a pegacorn is simply a pony with a birth defect, having a horn and wings both but not able to fly or use magic? Making Rye Strudel essentially an earth pony, but without even any of the earth ponies' connection to the land or whatever? Because that sounds like a very interesting idea, and if that's something like how this story goes, I'm going to have to add it to my read-later list.
There's only 4 chapters so far and really at this point we've only gotten to the "Welcome to the story" part, but with that said this is definitely vectoring towards being an excellent read. The world is shaping up nicely, and I really have enjoyed the development of Rye's character.
I look forward to forthcoming chapters, but I have to admit that I'll reserve judgement till we get a bit further into things.
Heh. I really like this story so far. I look forward for the rest of the chapters. Pegacorn term confused me till I read the first 4 chapters explaining it.
I'm liking this so far. I noticed more than a few spelling errors and other typos, so you might wanna pick up a few prereaders of your own for the next few chapters.
Not that you would have a problem, mind, because this was a very entertaining read.
OCs, worldbuilding, far past.... Meh.
Think I'll pass.
Definitely keeping my eye on this one :D A very interesting take on the history of Equestria. Can't wait for more *brohoof*
Yep, seems I gathered right. And it WAS very interesting. Oh man, tell me Cranberry gets to go along! I like characters with wanderlust, and she seems to have it bad.
Hey, an Alicorn story with an outcast theme.
Shit son, I don't think this has been done.
Will read in like 15 minutes. Have to walk the dog and such
This looks like a really interesting read. Will give it a peek in a little bit.
While the whole pegacorn thing raised a huge red flag for me at first, it seems that you're doing it well, i.e. not making the main character an all-powerful OC. lol. Looking forward to future chapters.
Heh, I liked this. :D
I was kinda wary at first, since I hate Mary Sue characters, but the moment I saw the word "Freak" I backed off and was hooked. I love the world set-up you have here; winged unicorns aren't necessarily worshipped. They are stared at because they are so rare. And little Rye got very unlucky with his genetics...
Hope we see some character development with Rye. As in, we learn more about how he feels with everyone gawking at him. Personally I think this is REALLY cool. I've always loved freak/outcast stories, and this struck that old bullseye dead-center. I haven't seen a story like this in years. Do want. Please continue.
I'll wait until it's completed to read. But I REALLY wanna know what the hell a "Pegacorn" is.
A pegac-a-what-a-thingy-now ?
...(siiiigh) You know, whatever. There's always that 1% of people...
Good story, damn good story - awaiting new chapters!
Is winter coming in this story?
"I dare not unleash that magic again, for to do so a third time might bring about the ending of all we know."
Ohoho, are you lying there, Princess?
Because that magic you used to defeat "him"? Yeah, you kinda used it again. On your sister no less.
Let's see where the story will take us; At least there doesn't seem to made too much of the alicorn as "gods".
Again epic keep it up
Rye, Y U NO tell Inger about your mother?
Btw great job, keep it up
Good stuff, can't wait to see how the story plays out. Rye is a pretty interesting character; however, I noticed that he gets call Riley every now and then, is that an error?
@Bear
Ah, no, that's his full name from an earlier draft. Looks like two or three of them slipped through the final copy. Thanks for the catch.
And that's how Equestria was unmade! Blueblood would rather let Griffon's take the throne than let Celerity take the throne, which she doesn't even seem to be trying to DO? Idiotic dickery really runs in that family, doesn't it?
YEY update,
just read it and OMC you've done it again, this is stunning.
Pegacorn. Heh.
This story reminds me of "Game of Thrones." Alot secrets and lies while ignoring what matters most, friendship and major invasions from outside the kingdom.
inb4 Rye refuses to leave the forest. D:
To anyone reading, updates are going to be slowing waaaay down in a bit. This stuff has all been backlogged, I've had several months to work on it. Newer stuff (Part 2/3) will be slower coming.
pegacorn.... reallly?
Yes, really. Not the same thing as an Alicorn. Please read the tags.
Keep up the awesome work! The Fic is great!
this is great. I usually read only comedy but the whole pegacorn thing pulled me in... keep it up
The part with the bugs had me thinking about the movie Aliens the entire time. I'm half-expecting them to bumble into a giant queen bug in a chamber covered in eggs. Possibly a god-bug? Ponies don't have to be the only race in the world with god kings (goddess queens doesn't have quite the same ring to it), and it might somehow half-assedly give some sort of explanation about the ludicrous magic saturating the forest far above the hive.
Or not. I am hoping that gets some kind of explanation at some point, though.
Write faster!
A.L. that made me laugh, it like A.D.
This is really good. One of my favourite stories out there; shame it doesn't get as much attention as it really deserves. Have you tried putting it up on FIMfiction? I'm sure it will get a nice amount of publicity there.
Hm, I hadn't really thought about it. I'll stick a chapter or two up, we'll see if they like it.
This is one of my favourite stories. It's so good to finally see it update.
They finally arrived!
Very good! please keep the chapters coming.
I really like this story and I cant wait for the next chapter update :D
Love the story so far. When is the next update coming, Miss DSNesmith?
I'm in a bit of a writing slump, the semester at Uni has picked up rather badly.
Should be updating this sometime in the next two weeks. Semester is finally over, and I have time to write again.
Alright, here we go. Time for our first taste of Nordpony culture.
I have a qeustion thats been bugging me since the beginning.
Why are you using horse ages? It just get's a tad confusing Human age's would of made alot more sense, I get they arent human but it helps better relate to the characters, plus in sense It would seem like Celestia's subjects wither and die faster XD;
I love the Story btw Rye is an adorable character :3
^ what i meant in the last sentence, ponies/horses have a shorter lifespan than humans, thus they expire quicker I guess...I'm mostly just used to the idea of Ponies being aged similar to Humans. Like Twilight Sparkle wouldnt be 4 she'd be 18 XD
Eh, I'm going for a more realistic take on the world (right, right, realism in a land of pastel-colored ponies). I'm putting the average lifespan of a pony at about 35-40. They do pass multiple generations quickly, which is why their society has barely advanced at all in the last six hundred years (and will barely advance in the next seven hundred). They don't have the lifespan to get a thriving scientific and technological revolution going while they're all still distracted by wars.
THE ELEMENTS CAN'T SAVE YOU, NOW.
This just keeps getting better and better. Looks like Rye's merry band is going to have to do a bit of questing to get all the whatsits to agree to aid Equestria, and the younger Blueblood is having second thoughts. Good for him!
I figured the only reason Eqeustria wasn't advanced as much is because it's a much younger planet( I dont know the name of the planet lets just say Eqeustria for now. My guess is Eqeustria is only Thousands of years old unlike earth which is somewhere in the billions range but, I guess I can overlook it, I'm not super big on realism, But I do love Rye and the other characters, they're done really well and I'm surpised there hasn't been fanart yet...I might have to fix that soon XD
[Windstreak stared at the shining metal with a grin as the last piece clicked into place. This was mad. They were probably all going to die.
But they’ll be singing songs about it for centuries to come.]
Oh, wow, holy shit you've got me excited for this plan, and you haven't even told us anything about it. :O
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[Eberhardt bowed his head to them and spoke. «You can understand me, can you not? Welcome to Saddlestead, Equestrians. You stand in the greatest hall in all of Sleipnord. »
“Thank you,” said Cranberry. “It’s magnificent.”]
How can they understand him? It doesn't seem like Cranberry's translating, since her reply is in normal quotations like Inger and Rye, neither of which speak Sleipnordic. o_o
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The second Weatherforge noted there was no food at the dinner table, I was like "Osnap, dey gonna' eat 'im." And then they did. D:
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I can't help but wonder what Shrikefeather intends to do about Celestia herself. He says he intends to genocide ponykind, and without a whole lot of unicorns, or an Alicorn, there'll be no ponies left to direct the sun. I'll admit that I don't know what'll happen if nobody directs the sun and moon, but does Shrikefeather? The immediate conclusion is that they'll just stop moving, get stuck in place in the sky, but it's not out of the question that they'll simply go wild. Either way, I doubt Shrikefeather knows for certain... Maybe he intends to enslave Celestia and somehow force her to continue that duty, or let her go and assume she wouldn't stop moving the sun and moon to spite he gryffons at the expense of the rest of the world? Or maybe he has a plan set up involving some other magic-wielding race? I don't know, but I'm hoping that gets covered when it comes time to cross that bridge.
Whoops, thanks for the Cranberry catch. I'm beginning to regret using those angle quote tags, they're a bit of a hassle.
What's with the old comment system?
I know right
They should make a movie
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