Description: Caramel spends Hearth's Warming Eve with the mare he loves.
Bonbon + shipping no Lyra?does not compute.
That shipping is new to me...:)
no lyra?! impossibru!
This reminds me of Caramels light, that needs finishing!
This is going to get so many one stars, I can all ready tell.
inb4 rage over no lyr-too late.
I get the feeling that this one has an uphill struggle, breaking up the most accepted pairing there is to make it hetro. I love lyra generally, and always thought bonbon was a good match (at least fanon wise). I'll give it a fair shot, but I doubt it'll change my mind. All I hope is that wasn't made with the intention of turning pairings hetro by one of the (thankfully rare) homophobic bronies
I'm glad to see it got some improvements. I can't say I love one-shots, but when it's a new ship like this it's kinda refreshing. Cute but not spectacularly.
I'll read it just because Bon Bon is being shipped with a colt for once.
Finally! A hertro ship FOR ONCE! Not that I'm reading it, but it'd be nice if this fandom had more of them...
That kiss at the beginning was a bit too in depth and thank celestia the bedroom was censored. overall though, pretty cute
A hetero ship. Finally! I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those who like same sex shipping, but think about it: if every character in the world is gay, WOULDN'T THE SPECIES GO EXTINCT?!
@CTOONfan1 Nope! Magic. Also in vitro fertilization.
Hetero shipping?!With BON BON?!THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!I'll still read this, now wont I...?
Woah woah woah....woah.....why has this not happened earlier? It seems so obvious lol
BonBon being shipped with someone other than Lyra? Has this even been done before?Also, I find it hilarious that slash shipping is so common in this fandom that this story needs to be tagged with 'hetero.' XD
well, I read it now, and I'll say it was ok. Not going to change my preferred shipping of bonbon and lyra, but it's not too badly written. It does however seem to be getting some major support simply because it's a heterosexual pairing, which I find a little depressing. Should like it because it's well written more than anything, not that it isn't gay
Trolling people is easy when you pair Bon Bon with somepony who isn't Lyra. XD
At least in my opinion, most of the happy-there's-hetero folks (like myself) are simply happy for diversity. I adore how many same sex pairings there are in the fandom, yet I am happy for diversity. Isn't it better for there to be both same sex and hetero pairings prevalent in a fandom than one and not the other? I sure think so! I also feel it's unfair to judge the author for pairing BonBon with someone other than Lyra. Making assumptions like "Maybe this is anti-same sex and has a hetero agenda" kinda rings about as true as homophobic people saying "Maybe this is anti-hetero and has an 'agenda'.". I just think here's not the place for those assumptions!I will read and review this when I get home. Because I love Caramel. So much, (also, the description seems good)
It wasn't bad...It just wasn't great...And in the story it implied Lyra was sad because she had feelings for Bonbon too but she was with caramel
@CTOONfan1you could also argue that the species being mostly female would be a problem for the species.really, the only way the world, as depicted, mass much sense is if there is a prevalence of same-sex couples, and other accepted methods of pregnancy.also, the massive number of same-sex shippings is probably do to the rather lopsided male-to-female character ratio
I like me some straight shipping, no doubt, but this was just... um... fluff. There's nothing there, no story, no conflict, no events, no ANYTHING.Fanfic writers, take note: THERE IS NO STORY IF THERE IS NO CONFLICT./lecture
Bon Bon? Without Lyra? With a boy pony? What kind of crazy Elseworlds madness is this? Do not want!
Aw, that was cute. It's a short quick read for those who want a light sweetness in their pony-happy days. The idea of Caramel as a hired hand and all the ponies from over Equestria coming to Sweet Apple Acres for work is a nice touch I found interesting. (Also, I found it hilarious that the author added an aside that the farm was the best producer of apples in Equestria...according to Ponyville. Nice and subtle humor.)I liked the attempt at a unique narration style, because it made me feel like this was one of those narrated holiday specials that show on television every year. That said, there were a few strange grammar issues like tense changes and an overabundance of passive voice that distracted me a little bit. I think those are a result of the narration style. Also, I found the part about Bon Bon liking the gentle caress of his hooves ect a little jarring, because I feel it would have been more effective to show that or let us assume it, because it's already obvious to the reader how much she likes him.A good, cute read. I'm glad I decided to read it, even though on my phone. Satisfied my Caramel-loving sensibilities. :)
@OtterMattIt's called 'Slice of Life'.If you require conflict for a story, then I'll direct you to M. Bay's latest explosion filled assault on your senses.
@CTOONfan1well. unicorns can impregnate other lady unicorns. do you not read fanfics?
@Pyro Bronywhen it hit the bedroom scene i prayed to celestia it wasnt becoming a clop fic. i have had my accidental fill of them for the week,.......i still cant get the thought of rainbow dash getting plowed by a colt version of pinkie pie out of my head.....
I must say, I definitely wasn't expecting this to be on EQD.As the author of this story, I just want to say that I really don't have problems with you guys liking LyraxBonBon. You have the right to ship whatever the heck you want. However, I do wish that you would accept my shipping preferences and not complain about how Lyra should be paired up with Bon-Bon despite the fact that LyraBon isn't canon.All I'm trying to say is that you should judge the story on whether or not it is well written, not because the pairing is not to your liking.Also, to those confused with the depressed Lyra thing, that is actually a reference to another story I wrote called "Close to You" which you can find on my deviantart page.Anyways, this story is meant to be a cute fluffy little one shot. It is in no way meant to insult or antagonize those who ship LyraxBonBon. I apologize in advance if I insulted anyone because of this story.Bona Fortunae, Paxtofettel.
Sorry. I don't like bonbons that have caramel in them.
I love this new ship...
WHAT?!?!?! Bon Bon with no Lyra? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@CanterEdlund facehoof I see what you did there.
@Olivier 'LuaPineapple' HamelYou don't seem to realize what conflict means. Here's a hint: Explosions ain't it.There's no character development, there's no growth, there's no challenges to overcome, there's just a slightly stilted explanation of somepony's personal fanon. That's not good writing.Slice of life may or may not be storytelling, but it's still not interesting if nothing happens to the characters. I could tell you all about my last trip to the grocery store, but I'm right in thinking that no one would want to read that, either.
Anyway. I don't read shipping for the romance of the pairing really. I only read it either as an element of a really good story (ie adventure or comedy) or because I really like the characters involved (whether I consider them a "valid" pair or not is irrelevant I just want to D'awww over my faves). Hetero ships I tend to avoid because although they are no more or less ridiculous than F/F ships, I don't really know or like any male characters from the show, so there's no point.
@PaxtofettelI admire your bravery by writing a fic that flies in the face of the most popular and accepted pairing in the fandom.You're right, either way. None of the pairings are canon. I doubt that we'll ever see conclusive proof of Lyra/Heartstrings and Bonbon being a couple in the actual show anyway.
@DPV111The best two hetero ships I've read so far are hooves down FlutterMac from "The Logical Option" and OCxLuna from "Through the Eyes of Another Pony", for exactly the reasons you stated. There was a story in progress, characters got together as a result of the story progressing, and you bought into it because the chars were established and you knew them.
@OtterMattI was aware of what you were referring to by 'conflict', but sadly you didn't pick up on my sarcasm in the second sentence.
I must say, after reading some of these comments, I am rather sad.I was hoping that the people here would at least not be biased and give this story a chance. Instead, most of you are rejecting it merely because it involves a Straight pairing with Bon-Bon. Guys, what ever happened to "Love and Tolerance?" It's these things that make me wonder, "Is being a brony worth it?" Is it okay to be a part of a fandom that rejects someone because they break away from what is one of the most popular pairings.I really sad, really sad.
Bon-Bon being shipped with a stallion?!THIS. IS. SHOCKING!I didn't know I could read!lol
But yeah, I'm gonna give this a read. It's a nice break away from the usual lesbian stuffs.Now somepony ship Lyra with a stallion!*is shot*
@PaxtofettelI wouldn't take it too personally. Some people (Not everyone, or even most people, but some) hold onto their fanon too dearly.
A heterosexual shipping? In the MLP fan world? Is this legal?...he he.(Just think people: twin sister and/or clone.)
@PaxtofettelI must say that you apparently can't read, because most of these comments are either saying "I read it and it was ok" or something along those lines or *jokingly*, and fairly obviously jokingly, expressing shock at the pairing. There's a couple which I would interpret as possibly genuine rejection based solely on the premise out of all the comments. Nobody's even attacking you (except for me, just now): you have the thinnest skin I have ever seen.
@the feh mehSomeone should do that just for the LOLs.*bricked*
@CarcerPerhaps I may have overreacted, and I do apologize for that.
@PaxtofettelPlease don't interpret the joking and ribbing as outright disdain. Honestly, the story was fine and most people here seem to have enjoyed it. Look, it's not just about fanon or sacred cows...uh, horses. Lyra and Bon Bon are pretty beloved for a number of reasons. It's something that just works. I find it hard to see the pair apart at this point. It's a cute pairing, and while folks are attached to it, that doesn't mean they're necessarily attacking you because you bucked tradition a little bit.That said, if you're going to put yourself out there- in terms of art, writing, whatever- you're going to get feedback both positive and negative with a mix of lols and disinterest in there too. Just be proud of what you've done, take criticism with a grain of salt, feel good about the praise, and keep doing what you love.That said, Lyra and Bon Bon really ARE the cutest couple ever. =) It's an uphill battle trying to get past that level of adorable-ness. =D
@PaxtofettelIt's cool. I didn't exactly bust out the tact for that response either. Just don't go getting yourself worked up over nothing! It's not good for you.
@CarcerI know, I know, I just get rather sensitive about these things.I guess being near Ponibooru has done a lot of bad for me.But I thank you for kicking me into shape.
@PixelkittiesI really don't hate LyraxBonBon either, hell I think its cute to a degree.What I don't understand is people calling it canon when really, it's not.Plus, I think a little variety in pairings is a good thing.
It was a sweet story, and there was conflict in the story (rather than what another commenter said). It's a basic plot, but Caramel is meeting Bon-Bon's parents for the first time and they stress out a bit.Thank you for leaving out the bedroom scene, btw. And it was a nice pairing, although both of them were a little too sugary-sweet for my taste.In terms of the actual writing- there are some spots where you left out punctuation at the end of quotes. Also there were many unnecessary and cliched phrases that could easily have been implied (like Caramel waking from his slumber- you can just say he was waking up). I realize you were going for a more stylized writing style (I'm guilty of the same thing) but it can be distracting and slow down the reader.Otherwise, nice, simple story. The pairing worked for me, but the story was very sweet and romantic and there wasn't conflict between characters which would have added a lot to the story (as other commenters have mentioned)
@OtterMattThe only het ship I enjoyed was the first one I read. First ship, first het shif, first large fanfic, first OC fic. Getting Lucky.
Yay Lyr... WHAT???
Something new and refreshing. A great read.
How is she straight?
I got nothing against this story, but.... Lyra + Bon Bon... just works. It just works.You're fighting an uphill battle against a ice troll in a blizzard while wearing a suit made of greased rubber.
@ForderzFrankly, I always saw them as friends. Just because they appear in a few scenes together doesn't necessarily make them a couple.
It makes me sad.. BonBon with anyone but Lyre is not right! xD
I am the artist who drew the image used as this story's cover. Personally, I've always just laughed it off when people complain that I chose to draw it with Caramel and not Lyra. Most of such comments have been in good humor, although I have run into some people who were genuinely upset at me for drawing Bon Bon with someone other than Lyra, let alone a stallion. I've got several points that I'd like to make about this kind of reaction:1) It's just a TV show.2) Barely any romantic pairings in the show are official except characters like Mr. and Mrs. Cake.3) Standing next to a character =/= official love interest, or else the Mane 6 would undoubtedly qualify as some kind of romantic commune.4) Even if Lyra and Bon Bon were an official couple, what is so threatening about someone who enjoys seeing one or both of them with different characters? It would hardly be the first time a fan preferred their own ship to an official one-- especially considering how trivial a character's "canon" sexual preference is when it comes to shippers.5) There is plenty of Lyra and Bon Bon shipping art and fanfiction out there to look at. People making shipping art and fanfics of them with other characters does not inhibit your ability to enjoy any of that.
@MichelleI'm sorry you feel that way.
To the people who have undoubtedly rated this 1-star purely because it depicts Bon-Bon as being straight and/or romantically with somepony other than Lyra:Tolerancetol·er·ance [tol-er-uhns]noun1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.2. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own.3. interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.
@ Cedric BaleExactly
@Cedric BaleTolerating something =/= liking it. We can tolerate something but still vote against it.
@CTOONfan1*Raise an eyebrow*...*put on glasses**Cough* Genetically speaking, it is entirely possible to have female-female reproduction if you have the proper science and equipment...Plus... 'Magic', here (MLP:FiM), would also tend to largely *facilitate* this process.
@Cedric Bale« Definition of DICTIONARY DEFINITION: a definition reporting established meanings or uses of words or symbols — compare stipulative definition »Also, I tend to agree with @CanterEdlund here.
Eesh, the ratings sure have plummeted.Is is that bad of a story?
I do apologize for whoring myself like this but, if you can, please check out my other stories on Fimfiction.net and tell me what you think.Reviews help me grow as an apiring fanfic author.
@CanterEdlund@Nova25My comment was directed more at the people seeing the picture and description, getting into a tizzy, and voting without actually reading what they're voting on. I was not trying to imply that you should like it for not reason, I was saying not to vote it as 1-star purely because you don't agree with the pairing.If you read it and decided that the grammar was terrible, that the plot was boring, that the characterizations were rigid and unrealistic, that the romance was flat, that the humor just made you cringe, etc. etc., then by all means, rate it appropriately based on THAT. As it is, the star rating on this story is completely unreliable. (but that's nothing new, is it?)
Its a straight shipDealwithit
Ok, finally reading this...Putting aside any feelings about the couple (which is fine for me, I'm not big at all on "omg Lyra/Bon-Bon are the OTP), or the fact it's straight, which is also perfectly fine......this just isn't a good story. It's totally and completely pointless. I'm all for a nice "slice of life" story where there's no real conflict, but this is completely void of anything. Nothing, at all, happens that isn't completely and utterly generic drabble.That isn't to say it's badly written, as it's not (and wouldn't have made it to the site in the first place), but I have to wonder if there'd be far less praise if it were Lyra instead of Camarel?I don't mean to be harsh, but really, seeing all the praise this story gets reminds me of all the stupid shit that gets so many positive reviews on FF.net because people seem to think that any criticism is a flame or a troll.
@MelodiaIt's okay, as long as you gave it a chance and gave it a review based on the story itself and not on the pairing.
@Cedric BaleUm, was the last part directed towards me? If so, ouch.
"As it is, the star rating on this story is completely unreliable. (but that's nothing new, is it?)"That part? No, that was directed at EQD, lol. I love this site, but the star ratings are terribly unreliable on any post with controversial content. Also, Bon-Bon being straight being considered controversial amuses me greatly.If you mean that whole second half, that also wasn't directed at you. It was directed at anyone thinking I was saying to rate high even if they didn't like it. That wasn't my original message at all.If you want some advice for yourself, I'd say to just not get discouraged. Even if nobody liked this, just keep writing. Can't get better if you don't try.
@Cedric BalePhew, I was scared for a second there. I know that I am an amateur when it comes to fanfics, but this fic certainly wasn't that bad (Certainly better than the stuff RagingSemi puts out).But, I thank you for the advice Cedric. I means a lot for a noob like me